13 | what if

        "No, you can't do this!" the Countess of Aldrige cried out as soon as the chief justice read out his verdict. Corinne had collapsed to her knees, her face so pale that there was likely not a single drop of blood left, blankly listening to her mother's futile cries.

        "The court's decision is final! Corinne Moreau shall be executed the next morning by poison!" the Chief Justice repeated, this time even louder. I could see my aunt shaking her head in disbelief, almost mad with grief.

My uncle, the Earl, looked as if he had aged twenty years in the span of an hour, while his son Benedict was standing agape and in complete shock, not noticing his wives who were smiling despite their tears.

The McCarthy sisters were rejoicing for the death of their brother's killer, and everyone could see the undeniable joy on their faces, contrasting heavily with the glum, anguished looks of the Moreaus.

        "I want to go home," I whispered to Edmund.

        "Now ? You don't want to witness the execution ?" he asked in return, and I swiftly shook my head, appalled by his question.

        "No, of course not. I've seen enough people dying to last me a lifetime," I remarked. As we headed out of the courtroom, we were stopped by the sisters Edith and Rachel, who had left their husband behind at the moment, their eyes shining with gratitude.

       "Your Graces," Rachel began. "I would like to thank you for ensuring that our brother's murderer would be punished. We, the McCarthys, are eternally grateful."

Edith nodded enthusiastically. "If it weren't for House Winterbourne pushing the case forward, the Moreaus would have had it swept under the rug. Our brother's soul is safe now in heaven, and we owe it all to you, Duchess Anne."

No, please. Do not thank me. Do you even know what I had done ? I killed her. Your beloved sister, Leanne. I killed her. I pushed her with my own two hands, and when she was dying at the bottom of the stairwell, I was more concerned about my dress being torn rather than her wellbeing. I felt sick to my stomach, and watching their bright, beaming smiles worsened it even more.
 
      "It's fine," I replied to them. "The incident happened in our own home, and the original target was my sister-in-law. We had to pursue the case out of fear that it will repeat in the future."

The sisters nodded in understanding, but Rachel was not done talking just yet. "Still, we are so grateful to you, Duchess Anne ! I wonder what would've happened if it weren't for you-"

I raised my hand, stopping her speech mid-sentence. "I shall take my leave first," I said, and Edmund proceeded to lead me out, allowing me to lean on him as fatigue began to take over me.

He brought me back to the carriage and carried me inside, fluffed up the pillows before laying me down, and ensured that the carriage was warm enough.

        "You are not well, Annie," he murmured as he gently removed the strands of hair that had stuck to my face. "Tell me, what is on your mind ?"
 
      "Leanne," I mumbled. I felt chilled to the bone despite the carriage being nice and warm, and my chest was heaving up and down as if I had just ran a hundred miles. "Did you see their faces, husband ? Did you see how they thanked me ? Do you think they knew what I had done ?"
 
       "Annie, that was years ago," Edmund said in an attempt to comfort me. "Besides, I cleared out all the evidence, ensuring that it could never trace back to you."

         "God knows what I did," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "He's seen it. He knows."

We arrived back in Rhyland just before sunset, while Gilbert and Cecily had remained to watch the execution. I had anticipated for a calming warm bath and a good's night sleep, but when I saw the white and gold coloured carriage, which was usually used by court officials, I knew that I might as well throw those ideas out of the window.

Edmund tensed beside me, his pale eyes narrowing as he assessed the carriage, but there were no soldiers around. Only the carriage and the two white horses that pulled it.

As we exited our own carriage, the other carriage's door swung open, and a young court official with a thin brown moustache hopped out, following after him was a young woman, who seemed oddly familiar.

Long, silky red hair that cascaded down her back in delicate curls, pale, milky white alabaster skin and piercing silver eyes that were undoubtedly seductive and tempting. How could I not recognise her ?

        "Your Graces," the young man greeted. "I am here on the King's orders, to bestow you with a gift."

Edmund shook his head and said, "Go home. I don't want your gift."

The court official gasped loudly, as if he had been greatly offended. "But Your Grace, refusing a gift from the King would be treason. Look at her, isn't she very lovely ?" he gestured to the young woman, who smiled coquettishly.

        "Your Grace !" Lacey Rivers exclaimed as she ran towards us, breaking into a sweat despite running for just  less than a minute. "I missed you so much !"

        "Take her back with you. She is not welcome here," I stated, my words dripping with malice and jealousy.

I can tolerate anyone, but not this woman. Not Lacey Rivers.
The court official, who had been all smiles earlier, immediately became somber. "Your Graces, His Majesty The King has been made aware about the Duke's previous affair with Dame Rivers, and he is disappointed that the Duke refused to recognise Dame Rivers' child as his. Out of pity, he bestowed her with the title of Dame. Now, he is gifting her to the Duke, with hopes that the Duke would take this opportunity to treat her well."

I glared at the court official, and then at Lacey Rivers. She might be smiling brightly right now, but I could have someone break into her room and smother her to death this very night, therefore solving my problem.

        "Also, I shall come back every fortnight to monitor the Dame's wellbeing. If she is ill or maltreated, the King will surely hear about it."

And so, Dame Lacey Rivers was honourably invited into Winterbourne Castle and was given her own room in the West Wing, which was the furthest from my own room.

        "I thought you already had her killed off !" I exploded as soon as Edmund shut the door. "Now look! Not only do we have to bring her into our home, we must treat her like a lady !"

         "My men failed to find her," Edmund said exasperatedly. "I thought she had moved on and settled down, but it seems that she went to the king instead."

         "Clearly !" I cried. "I want her out of here, husband. I don't even care if the King gets angry. I want her out!"
Edmund shook his head and placed both of his hands on either sides of my shoulders, his eyes boring deep into mine.

"Annie, you don't understand. That is exactly what he wants you to do. If we throw her out, he can charge us with treason for not appreciating his gift. For now, we must endure, and watch our words in front of her, since I'm afraid that she might be reporting to the King. This is one of his attempts to tear us apart, and we mustn't fall for it. Our glorious days are near, Annie, but for now, we must stay strong. You, especially, my Queen."

That was the first time he ever referred to me as his queen, and my cheeks simultaneously turned red as he uttered those words. "When I seize the throne, I will allow no one to sit next to me but you. Do you understand, Annie ?"

My anger gradually melted away and I nodded calmly, tiredly laying my head against his broad chest. "I am tired, husband. Let us go to sleep."

I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, but I did not get to rest for long.

In the wee hours of the morning, a shrill scream echoed from the room below us, where Lisbeth stayed.

Groggily, I sat up, while Edmund was already wide awake next to me.
       "What was that ?" he asked, ready to go and fetch his sword, which laid flat on the glass table.

       "Lisbeth. I think she has gone into labour. I should go and look."

       "I'll go with you."

I chuckled lightly, shaking my head. "Edmund, you can't come into the birthing chamber. No man can."

        "Then I'll just take you there, and then I shall wait outside." I nodded, standing up to fetch my fur coat and slipping it on before leaving the room.

The closer I came to her room, the more bloodcurdling those screams sounded. The door was already partially open, and I could see the midwives running around while my mother ordered them about.

           "Go inside, Annie. I will wait here," Edmund reassured comfortingly, and I unlaced my fingers from his before stepping into Lisbeth's room.

Instantly, the strong stench of blood assaulted my senses, flooding straight into my nostrils.

I could see that my mother-in-law was also there, arguing with my mother, while my sister was groaning on top of the bed, which white sheets had already turned deep red.
          "Anne !" my mother-in-law exclaimed as soon as she saw me. "You, of all people, should not be here, seeing and hearing all these things!"

My own mother, however, had a very differing reaction. "Have you come here to watch your sister suffer ? Was my niece's life not enough for you ? Must you take my only child too ?"

I ignored my irrational, hysterical mother and walked towards the dowager princess, who had already whipped out bottles and vials full of herbs and medication.

        "Is it always like this ? I mean... Giving birth ?" I asked her, now deeply afraid of my own impending birth after watching Lisbeth tossing and turning on the bed while screaming until her voice had became hoarse.

        "Birth is rarely ever easy," she remarked. "But this one is awfully difficult in particular."

        "Why so ?"

        "Your sister should've been induced into labour and given birth days ago, Anne. But obviously she hadn't, and now the baby is too big for her to deliver normally without the flesh tearing."

I frowned, glancing at my sister who was screaming her head off like a dying goat. The pain she is going through must be horrific, from what I observe.

"Mama, is it normal to bleed that much during labour ?" I asked my mother-in-law, who was busy mixing up several ground herbs into a paste, and when she lifted her head up, her face morphed into that of true horror.

         "Oh, heavens no!" she cried as she rushed towards my sister and lifted up the blankets to check the dilation, while I shielded my face in disgust.

"She has lost way too much blood," she says. "She cannot deliver the babe normally, and if we wait any longer, the poor child will suffocate to death."

Immediately, I felt a chill running down my spine. I glanced at my sister, eyes blank and lifeless, her mouth agape, gasping for air, her legs completely covered with thick, red blood.

She was not even screaming anymore. My sister was not going to live to see the next sunrise. The realisation hit me hard, and I found myself unable to move or speak. I could only stand in the middle of that vast room like a useless statue, witnessing my own sister's death.

          "Annie... Annie..."
I jolted upon hearing Lisbeth's soft voice, beckoning me towards her. Blinking away the tears that I had not realised I had shed, I knelt beside her.

         "Lisbeth ?"

Her grey eyes flickered towards me, and for once, they showed warmth. "Annie, tell them to cut my stomach open and bring my poor child out," she whispered.

I gasped in shock, briskly shaking my head. "No! That will..." I paused, and I breathed sharply before continuing my sentence. "...kill you."

She nodded. "I know, Annie. Tell them to do it now. If we wait, he won't make it. He's suffering, Annie."

        "But Lisbeth-"

        "Annie, please."

Shakily, I stood up and walked towards my mother-in-law, and relayed Lisbeth's request to her. She nodded grimly before ordering the clueless midwives to fetch a very sharp knife, and turned back to me.

        "Anne, you should leave this room. It's not good for you, to be in such places," she said concernedly. 

        "I want to be here, Mama," I say. "I need to be here for her."

Then, Lisbeth called for me again, and I, ever so obedient, immediately pranced back to her side. Her eyes were wide with urgency, and she weakly attempted to sit up.

        "What is it ?" I ask her, and she looks up, clutching my hand tightly in the process.

        "Annie, you must tell Cedric that I was never unfaithful to him," she began hastily. "That I never slept with the Marquis, and this child in my belly is his. I never cheated on him, Annie. He must know."

A loud cry escaped her lips as her contractions hit again, and her grip on my hand grew tighter. "I can't believe we wasted so much time together because I was being stupidly jealous and green-eyed, Annie. I missed your wedding, and now I shall miss the birth of your firstborn."

       "No, you won't miss it," I reassured her. "You will hold your dear child tonight, and when my own child is born, you will hold him too. You will be his godmother, Lisbeth, and our children will grow up together."

Lisbeth shook her head, smiling thinly. "My little sister will become the Queen of Phoenicia one day. And she will be the strongest, bravest queen that the world has ever known."

Sorrow filled my chest as a sob wracked my body, and tears began to flow down my cheeks uncontrollably. All of a sudden, Lisbeth clutched my hand again, her eyes as wide as saucers.

         "Anne, you must watch out for the Marquis. Never let him come near my poor boy. He is not a good man, Annie. He is a bad, evil man. Promise me that you will watch out for him, Annie," she urged.

I frowned in confusion, already disconcerted from immense fatigue and grief. Lisbeth, however, was adamant, and yanked my arm. "Promise me, Anne. Don't trust him. Never trust the Marquis of Lockebel."

I nodded repeatedly to appease her, and she smiled in satisfaction, but when she saw the midwife re-entering the room with a sharp scalpel, all the blood drained from Lisbeth's face.

Tears welled in her eyes as she watched the midwifes heating up the scalpel to disinfect it, but she did not panic. Her face was perfectly calm, as if she had resigned to her fate. Our mother was crying in the corner, already grieving eventhough her daughter had not even died yet.

        "Don't leave me now, Annie," Lisbeth whispered, her voice as light as that of a scared kitten, and I obligingly sat next to her, wrapping my arms around her shoulders as my mother-in-law snipped away her bloodstained nightgown, revealing her large, round stomach.

My mother-in-law's face was grim as she lifted up the scalpel, her usually vibrant green eyes now dull and filled with pain, and she said, "Please forgive me, Lisbeth."

  My sister then shut her eyes calmly, but she was holding onto my arms so tightly that her fingernails were digging into my flesh, but that was the least of my concerns. "It's going to be alright, Lisbeth. Everything will be fine," I reassured.

At first, I heard the sound of flesh being cut open, and then all I heard was Lisbeth's shrill screams. The smell of blood intensified, and although I wanted to vomit, I held the urge in.

         "Anne, it hurts ! It hurts !" Lisbeth shrieked in pain, but all I could do was to hold her, doing nothing at all to ease her pain. "Make it stop! Please, make it stop !"

I heard a faint clinking sound as the scalpel was dropped into the porcelain bowl filled with water, and then I heard something squelching. Like raw flesh, piled onto one another, oozing blood and pus, bubbling and pooling into a little puddle. Eventually, I saw a small pale, almost bluish head emerge from the wound, and my mother-in-law quickly pulled it out, swaddling it in fresh white linen.

        "It's a boy, Anne," she said, showing me the baby, who was already crying at the top of his lungs. I beamed with joy, and briskly tugged my sister's arm, which was slick with sweat.

         "Lisbeth, look! It's a boy! Look, isn't he beautiful ?" I said to her, pulling on her arm repeatedly. My sister did not answer, and her face, which had always been rosy pink, was now ghastly white.

         "Wake up, Lisbeth..." I urged in denial, blinking away my tears stubbornly. "Don't you hear him crying ? He needs you, his mother..."

Again, Lisbeth was silent. Her brows were still, her lips unmoving. She would seem as if she were sleeping, if only she were still breathing.

         "Anne," I heard my mother-in-law say, "she is in a better place now."

I shook my head quickly, this time no longer unable to hold back the flood of tears that flowed down my cheeks. I never thought that I would grieve for Lisbeth, but the sight of her so cold and still made my chest ache uncontrollably.
It felt as if a part of me died along with her. Perhaps then, if I had died before her, she would undoubtedly do the same.

I held onto her cold white hand tightly, unwilling to let go. So many years had gone down the drain due to my unrelenting ambition and endless ego, and now, even if I wanted to make things right, I could not. I never could.

My sister is already dead.

Hi! If you liked this story, try checking out my other story, which is set in the early 1700s, Catarina and The Prince ! And please vote and comment, it means a lot to me 🥰

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