"What you want is not always what you need."

Phayu stared out of the window of his sprawling condo right in the heart of Bangkok. Although the family had several homes, including two large mansions on the same estate, Phayu had moved out 6 years ago, not wanting to connect with anyone. Eventually, he had moved back, but this place was his retreat, the place he could be himself, his refuge in a way. He came here to escape any kind of turmoil and found peace every single time. But today, his heart and mind refused to settle. All he could see was the black haired boy, his smile that lit like a thousand suns, his skin sparkling like sun-kissed dew, his lips a perfect Cupid's bow, lushly curved and perfectly pouted. 'Perfectly kissable,' thought Phayu.

He was jolted out of his reverie by the bell. He went to the intercom and saw it was Pai. Maybe he just needed this dose of his cousin, who could be loud and gregarious, but a calm to his storm as well. He quickly let him in. "What's up cuz?" Pai asked, smiling. "Nothing," Phayu started, but Pai cut him off. "Nothing? Seriously? You have your 'brood mood' face on. And it's quite obvious. Let's go, get you out of it," he said. "Go? Go where?" Phayu was disgruntled. "Our friends are waiting for us. We are going to our new updated and refurbished pub that reopened in the city centre. C'mon, no excuses at all, let's go, let's go!" he pulled at Phayu's hands. "Okay, okay, give me a minute to get changed," Phayu said, and went inside.

Pai knew very well why Phayu had been brooding. He was holding on to a stupid and childish promise that made no sense to him at all. He had talked to Phayu again and again, but there was nothing that got into his thick skull. Pai could not blame him, after all he was also like that. Like their dads. Kinn and Vegas had the same stubborn set to their minds, which they had passed on to their sons. In spades, according to their 'Pa's. Papa P always said that Khun Kinn and Vegas would have been much better off if they had been kicked on their backsides when they were babies. Pai had always found that trait irritating in Phayu, because he found the stupidest things to be hard-headed about.

Pai was hell-bent on taking Phayu out to this club. After giving the bouquet, and receiving thanks from Rain and Sky, Phayu had abruptly left, saying he had an urgent meeting. Oh, he had been polite and all that, but Pai had sensed both his extreme reluctance to leave and his absolutely strong desire to stay. He also understood very well that he would find Phayu here and was going to drag his cousin out, whatever it took. Because Nong Sky had said that they wanted to celebrate their first big event in the college, and Papa V had not hesitated a second before offering their new and improved club. "It will be the safest club for the young ones, since we have the top end bouncers and bodyguards stationed around. No harm will befall these kids. Plus, we will ensure no one bothers them," he had said, in his most convincing tone.

Both set of fathers had looked at each other and then at the pleading expressions on the faces of their children and had reluctantly given in. "Phayu and Pai will be there as well, because it's opening night. So they will also keep an eye on the boys," Pa had said, his tone polite and concerned. At that, Papa P had had brushed his hands against Pai's, a question in his eyes. He had nodded, knowing his assignment really well. And honestly, it would not be a hardship to keep an eye out for the boys, because just like Rain had caught Phayu's interest, Sky had caught his, and he was very keen to pursue the beautiful boy!

Finally Phayu came out of the room wearing his trademark leather jacket in a buttery tan. 'He is just burying himself in his misery, instead of living his life as he should,' Pai thought, feeling terrible for his brother. The two finally reached the club, and were greeted in loud voices by their friends. As the two boys were making their way to them, Phayu felt the fine hair on his body stand on end. There was an electric feel to the air again, as his heartbeats started to race frantically. He looked around, wondering why he felt this way. His eyes directly fell on Rain, who sat the corner table with his friends.

He was wearing a printed white shirt, three top buttons undone, with black pants. His hair were slicked back, a small ring in one ear and a feather duster in the other and a thin chain with an onyx pendant around his neck. He was kicked back, holding a drink and laughing with his friends. His eyes sparkled with joy and Phayu could not take his eyes off him. "Phayu? Phayu? Ai satt Phayu!!" Pai had to shout multiple times to get his attention. "What is it? What are you looking at?" Phayu was flustered by Pai's sudden questions. He turned around, planning to leave, but some friends blocked his way. "C'mon Phayu, you are out after so long! Chill with us awhile!" and Phayu had to stay back at their insistence.

When their friends went to get drinks, Pai quietly turned to Phayu. "What is it? What is bugging you bro? I have been noticing it since the day we went to the Freshman Orientation. You have been moody and distracted. You haven't even started up with the plans for the new resort! This is not like you ya!" Pai admonished him. Phayu stared at his cousin, realising how right he was. Maybe it was time to tell him what was bothering him with such intensity. Why he was so restless. "It's because of Rain," he said, his mouth twisting on the word 'Rain'. "Rain? Are you serious? You are this moody and distracted because it's not raining in Bangkok?"

Phayu glared at his cousin. Pai knew exactly what Phayu was talking about, but in no way did he want to let Phayu know that. "I meant the boy Rain!" he countered. "Nong Rain? What about him? Ai'Phayu, you are not making sense buddy!" Pai said, rolling his eyes heavenwards. "I don't know Pai, ever since I saw him that day, I am being pulled towards him. I keep running away, but somehow, I keep ending up with him in front of me," Phayu said despondently. "What is wrong with that Phayu? He seems like a good guy. And it's not like we don't know that you are bisexual. Liking a guy is no big deal!" Pai said. "It's not that simple Pai! He makes me feel things that I haven't felt in a long time. Things I didn't even feel with Amy. And you know about the pro..." "Yut, yut! Stop with this promise shit!" Pai cut him off. "You were like 15 or 16 when you made it. A kid. What person in his right mind makes a promise like that? You of all people should know! She is gone Phayu, and you have all the rights in this world to live your life. Free yourself, live a little, go ask the boy to dance, get it out of your system, if you are that hung-up on your past! Or just go kill yourself in one shot, so that we all don't have to see you dying a little every day!" Pai said angrily, a small tear making it's way down his cheeks.

Phayu stared aghast at his cousin. Not just a cousin, but a brother, a best friend, someone who had stood by him despite all his shenanigans, who inspite of seeming a playboy and a flirt, was the most genuine and loving guy in the world. He had never expected Pai to say such harsh words to him. Pai had been the most steadfast in his support of Phayu, and knowing that he was so bothered by Phayu's stubbornness and irritability, came as a shock to him. "Pai..." he started. "What? What Pai? Do you want me to just sit around and watch my brother and best friend bury himself in the ground and not say a word? I will stand by you Phayu, if and when it's deserved, but don't expect me to be a silent spectator as you ruin your life. If you are so burdened with nonsensical promises, if you want to live by hugging a past that even you never wanted, feel free to walk out of here. If not, step up, take your present and your future in hand, and go and talk to that boy! What you want is not always what you need Phayu, and you need to let go!" Pai said, finally letting out his frustration at Phayu.

Phayu stared at Pai for a while. "Fine," he said, as he got up and started walking towards the exit. Pai's face fell, but suddenly Phayu stopped, hesitated, and turned around and looked at Pai again. Then he resolutely turned around and made his way to the table where Rain was sitting with his friends. Pai internally cheered, but kept his face schooled, not wanting Phayu to feel he had been manipulated into doing this. He quickly shot a video of Phayu going towards Rain's table and sent it to family group that had been created when Phayu had been cut off from them, only talking to Pai. Everyone immediately sent a thumbs-up sign to the message, and as usual Papa P and Pa asked for immediate updates.

Rain's table –

"Jeez, your 'hot' Phi is coming here," Sig said to Rain, as they watched Phayu make his way to their table. Rain sat up straight, his eyes sparkling. Earlier that morning, Rain had received a bouquet from Phayu. His insides had melted, looking at the handsome senior. The high forehead, the prominent nose, the sharp eyes, the perfectly sculpted body and not to forget, the man-bun. Rain had gushed about every single feature to his friends. "I think I am falling in love," he had sighed. His friends had been really supportive. Though all of them were 18 years old, Rain was still the youngest in all of them, two days younger than Sky. He was also the softest and the cutest in all of them, and in the 1st week of college itself, he had been hit on multiple times, both by boys and girls. But he had politely turned everyone down. So now that he had talked about his senior, his group was super excited and was ready to help him in any way.

"Hello, Rain shemai?" Phayu asked. "Khap Phi. Phi she Phayu khap?" "Yes Rain, I am Phayu. I just wanted to know if you will dance with me? I can't dance as beautifully as you, but I can try," Phayu said, his smile automatically blooming, looking at the beautiful boy in front of him. "Khap Phi, I would love to dance with you," Rain replied, nodding eagerly. Phayu held out his hand, and Rain held on to it immediately as they both made their way to the dance floor. By that time, Pai had given a signal to the DJ and a soft song started to play. Phayu pulled Rain close to him, pleasantly surprised by the how easily the younger boy fit into his arms. His hands went around Rain's waist, and Rain's arms went around his neck, as they both stared into each other's eyes and slowly moved around the room. Everyone was mesmerised by the beautiful couple, and both Pai and Sky clicked pictures of the couple. It was a moment worth remembering after all!