Art by  @khaoticvex, do not repost.

I'm not strong enough to stay awayI can't run from youI just run back to youLike a moth, I'm drawn into your flame

You say my name

But it's not the sameYou look in my eyes
I'm stripped of my pride
And my soul surrenders

And you bring my heart to its knees

And it's killin' me when you're away.

And I wanna leave, and I wanna stay.

And I'm so confused,So hard to chooseBetween the pleasure and the pain.

And I know it's wrong, and I know it's right.

Even if I try to win the fight,

My heart would overrule my mind.
And I'm not strong enough to stay away.

Not Strong Enough by Apocalyptica

Chapter 26

Natsu held himself together for about two blocks before he found an alley and walked into it. He collapsed against the wall, for once not caring at all about the dirt or the stench, his chest shaking as he dissolved into sobs.

He could still feel Gray's pain and anger on top of his own, and the combination was more than he could handle. It didn't help that he understood the enormity of what he'd done.

It was over. There was no coming back from this. How could there be?

Natsu heard footsteps entering the alley and approaching him, but couldn't be bothered to see who it was. He heard a familiar voice ask kindly, "Son, are you okay?"

Surprised, he looked up to see Anna Heartfilia, the closest thing he'd ever had to a mother, looking down at him.

"Natsu? Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

When he continued to weep without saying a word, Anna knelt down and held him to her chest, letting him cry. Natsu held on to her tightly, seeking to let her smell soothe him like it once had. She made soft, comforting noises and placed her head on top of his until he calmed down enough to talk.

"Are you feeling better?" Anna asked as she moved a few strands of blonde hair, which had begun to turn gray, away from her face. Natsu shook his head miserably.

"Come on, let's get you some cocoa." She coaxed, standing up and pulling him up with her. She walked towards the orphanage, and Natsu followed behind, not really caring where he was going.

They entered the building and walked into her small apartment, Anna gestured towards the kitchen as she put her keys down in a small bowl by the door.

She entered the kitchen and grabbed an apron, tying it behind her back as she looked around for something. Making an aha noise, she grabbed a small container that was filled with a reddish powder.

"Natsu, will you be a dear and light up the stove for me?" Anna asked as she continued to search for ingredients inside her small kitchen. Natsu got up from the chair he had settled on and did as she asked. Once the stove was lit, she quickly got to work mixing ingredients and stirring the contents in a small pot.

After a few minutes, Natsu recognized the smell and managed a small smile. She was making his favorite childhood drink, chile hot chocolate. She poured the contents of the pot into two mugs and carried them to the table, setting them down carefully. Grabbing one last item, she placed it between the two of them before sitting down. When Natsu didn't move, she grabbed a handful of the little sugary pillows and dropped them in his drink.

"Thank you, Anna."

"You're very welcome," Anna replied, waving the act away, "Now, why don't you tell me what's on your mind? That might be the first time I've seen you cry since Erza knocked you down your first day of school."

"I don't think I ever thanked you for taking care of me," Natsu said quietly, his mind already full of goodbyes.

"Nonsense, you would have died otherwise. Igneel and Atlas might know a lot about dragons, but they knew nothing about babies." Anna rolled her eyes. "Your mother would've had both our hides in the afterlife if we let anything happen to you."

"You knew my mom?" Natsu questioned, eyes widening as he realized he'd never thought of that possibility before.

"Of course I did, we were friends most of our lives," Anna replied, her mouth curving into a smile, "Hang on, I think I have a picture around here somewhere, it's from before Igneel arrived."

She got up from the table, and Natsu drank his chocolate as he waited. Anna had made it for him when he was little. Any time he'd gotten in trouble with Igneel, which was often. Natsu would help her make it, using his fire to heat the small pot as it cooked. It was one of the few sweets he'd had as a kid. He'd loved it because it was both spicy and sweet.

Anna would listen to him rant about Igneel and comfort him, often staying with him until he fell asleep. She really had been like a mother to him, and he'd loved her dearly. Still did. She was also the only human who had known what he was, and she'd never treated him differently for it. Now, Natsu thought, maybe he understood why.

She returned with a picture of two young girls holding hands and smiling. One had blonde hair and was obviously Anna, the other had long pink hair and stunning green eyes, just the same as his. It was an excellent likeness of Anna, so Natsu could only assume that it was a good one of his mother as well. He stared at the picture hungrily, finally able to see his mother for the first time in his life.

"That was us," Anna grinned, eyes twinkling with mischief, "We were trouble back then!"

"Can you tell me about her?" Natsu asked hopefully, "I only know what Atlas has told me, but he didn't know her very well."

"I should have said something before," Anna apologized, "but your father, well, he still can't really talk about her."

"Hmm, let's see, Porlyusica was a lot like you actually," Anna smiled at him fondly, "She was very passionate, fought for what she believed in, and once she'd decided on something, there was no turning back. And boy did she have a temper!"

Natsu rolled his eyes at Anna, but he also ate up every word.

"Had she lived, I think the two of you would have gotten along very well and ganged up on your poor father, and he—he would have loved it." Anna suddenly became quiet, and Natsu could see she was trying to fight back tears.

"I'm sorry, it's been a while since I've talked about her," Anna apologized as she sniffled.

"It's okay, you don't have to keep going," Natsu assured her, but she only smiled as she got herself under control.

"I want to. You should know about her. What else? She was an amazing healer. People would come from all over to seek her advice," Anna continued, "Did you know you were born here?"

"I was born in the orphanage?" Natsu asked, confused. Atlas had told him he'd been born at his house.

"Well, not exactly, this was where your house was. After you were born and Porlyusica passed, Igneel kind of lost control of himself. He explained later it was a mate thing, their connection had been severed, and it was excruciating for him. He lost control of his magic and burned the house down. He couldn't eat the fire since he'd created it."

Natsu could feel Anna's eyes on him, watching for his reaction to her words, but he was too tired to play games and too shaken by Anna's description of what had happened to his father to hide anything.

"So it's as I thought, whatever is bothering you is mate related," Anna mumbled to herself. She didn't push though, just gazed at him with concern.

"Did you know they're having a festival in your honor today?" Anna asked him suddenly.

Natsu looked at her in astonishment, "You knew that was me?"

"Well, of course. Who else would it be?" Anna replied, amused by Natsu's surprise, "You've protected this village one way or another for a very long time."

She reached out to touch his face, giving him a look that was tinged with worry.

"This village loves you, Natsu. You have come to their rescue time and time again, and they wanted to show you how much they appreciate you." Anna said proudly, "I even heard Erza say they were going to build a humongous bonfire for you to eat, and I know the kids were hoping you'd show up to do some of those flying tricks you do.

"I know you feel down right now, and I won't push you to tell me why," Anna added quickly before he could protest, "But you're important to many people in both your forms and I think it's time you realized that."

Natsu nodded, only half listening. He'd reached a sort of numbness that was almost bearable. He'd walk around the festival for a bit and maybe even appear for the kids when it got dark, but he hadn't changed his mind.

Tomorrow he would begin his search for Acnologia. If he could take him down, the village wouldn't need his protection anymore. Maybe then, he and his family could move to Drak Aast with Belserion and the remaining dragons. Far enough away for him not to feel this way anymore and to give Gray a chance to start a new life without him.

Natsu thanked Anna again, allowing her to fuss over him a little longer. He gave her a tight hug goodbye and told her he loved her. He could tell from the look on her face when he said goodbye she knew he wasn't planning on ever coming back.

0-0

Gray was emotionally exhausted. The onslaught of memories hadn't stopped since Natsu had released them. He was out of tears. Despite that, the memories continued, full of images of a happier time but moving too fast for him to hold for long. The pain was more than he thought he could bear. He felt betrayed, but he also felt how happy and in love they'd been in those months, and he couldn't decide which hurt more.

Gray, I'm a fire dragon.

He remembered eight-year-old Natsu saying those words to him before Gray attacked him in anger. Why the hell was Natsu continuing to insist on this ridiculous farce? He didn't believe him then, and he certainly didn't believe him now. Still, that small memory loosened a bigger one.

"Can you imagine Erza's face when she finds out you've been back all this time, and you haven't gone to see her yet?" Gray laughed with glee as Natsu immediately looked nervous.

"I'm not afraid of her."

"Sure you're not, Pyro."

"I set one thing on fire, and it was your fault. You startled me!" Natsu complained loudly as they got to their field.

"That one thing was the hotel." Gray reminded him, causing Natsu to pout and cross his arms in front of his chest cutely. Gray stopped and kissed him. "You're just lucky I'm such a great provider."

"I paid for the stay and all the food for six months!" Natsu replied in outrage.

"Yeah," Gray agreed readily before adding, "But I paid for the building."

"You're going to have to make it up to me tonight," Gray smirked, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

"Okay, fine," Natsu grumbled but didn't look at all displeased by the idea, "Just don't tell Erza about the hotel, okay?"

"That's gonna cost you extra."

"Ugh! You're the worst!"

"But you love me," Gray teased, loving that he could get a rise out of his mate so quickly.

It surprised him when Natsu didn't answer. It wasn't like him. When Gray turned to see if he'd actually upset him, he noticed Natsu was gaping up at the sky, eyes widened, and body covered in a thin layer of flames. He followed Natsu's gaze and saw something that both set his blood boiling and terrified him. A monstrous black dragon covered in blue markings was flying towards Talos. He immediately glanced at Natsu, the only dragon slayer around, and grabbed his hand, yanking him towards the village.

"Stop!" Natsu yelled as he dug his heels in and refused to move any further, "We have to get out of here!"

"What are you talking about? We have to get to the village and help!" Gray argued, confused by Natsu's actions. He'd seen him run into more dangerous situations than this without a thought.

"You don't understand. That's Acnologia," Natsu said, as if that explained everything.

"Who?"

"The renegade dragon slayer that almost killed me," Natsu said impatiently, "We don't have time for this, I'll explain on the way."

"That's a dragon, I thought you said he was a dragon slayer," A million questions tried to burst forth, but Gray shook his head to clear them away. This wasn't the time. They needed to hurry. Every second they hesitated was a second less they would have to react.

Natsu refused to budge no matter how hard Gray pulled. "We have to go help them, Natsu. Lyon, Erza, Juvia, Anna... they're all there, they'll die if we don't help them."

With a sigh, Natsu said, "If I go fight him, will you promise me you'll stay here?"

"I won't let another dragon destroy my home," Gray replied stubbornly. He was determined to fight, but also scared out of his wits. The dragon was huge, and he could feel an aura of malice radiating from it that set him on edge.

"GRAY!" Natsu exploded, sounding both angry and terrified and altogether unlike himself. Natsu's voice softened into a plea, "I can't fight him if I'm worried about you."

"I'm going, Natsu. You can either come with me or not, but there's no way in hell I'm staying behind."

Natsu looked at Gray and back at Acnologia, who was flying ever closer to the village. "DAMMIT!" Natsu roared, "I didn't want you to find out like this!"

Gray gazed at him in confusion, not understanding what he was referring to. He watched open-mouthed as Natsu somehow transformed into a red dragon, and with a mighty roar swiftly took to the sky, racing to reach Acnologia before he could destroy the village.

Gray's immediate response was disbelief, and denial soon followed it. There was no way that Natsu had turned into a dragon, it was just a figment of his imagination. It had to be. But as he saw that same red dragon ram into the black one, he knew it was real, and it filled him with a profound rage.

Gray covered his mouth to keep his screams from being heard by anyone outside. He felt as if he were going insane. Had Natsu been telling him the truth this whole time? How was that even possible?

Gray's mind started reeling, putting together the pieces that had always been there. Natsu had tried to warn him away, but Gray had refused to listen, too consumed by what he wanted to pay any heed.

Of course, I want you, you jackass! I always have. But what the hell am I supposed to do when you hate everything I am? Don't you see how futile this is?

Now that he thought about it, there had been many clues over the years, Natsu's incredible regenerative ability, his power level being a magnitude higher than any of the other dragon slayers. The way Natsu could soothe Happy after he, Sting and Lyon had attacked him when none of the other dragon slayers seemed to know what to do. How upset Natsu had become when he'd told him dragons were nothing but beasts intent on destruction or when Gray referred to wanting to kill them.

Gray had been such an asshole about all of it, even as Natsu had attempted to be patient with him. As angry as he was at his mate at the moment, he realized he might also have been at fault.

Natsu had tried to distance himself from him, but Gray had refused to allow it, never once considering why Natsu might want to do that. It had overjoyed him when Erza had forced them together, even though it was obviously not what Natsu had wanted. Natsu had even tried to slow things down once they'd gotten together.

Fuck. Natsu had attempted to protect him every step of the way.

But why? Why remove his memories? What had he seen or done that would make Natsu do that?

Surely it wasn't just because he'd seen him transform. That didn't sound like something Natsu would do. Gray was still angry, but suddenly it felt like he was still missing something. What had Natsu been trying to protect him from?

Once again, Gray found Natsu sitting outside in the middle of the night. He sat down next to him and grabbed his hand, squeezing it and placing it in his lap. He remained silent, not wanting to disturb whatever Natsu was doing. It didn't take long for him to break the silence, but not in a way Gray expected.

"Am I a monster?" Natsu asked him as they sat together underneath the starry sky.

Gray draped his arm around Natsu's shoulders, pulling slightly until Natsu's head was against his shoulder, so that he could kiss his head, "You're about as far from a monster as you can get, love. Why would you even ask something like that?"

"I've taken so many lives," Even though Natsu looked at the ground, Gray could hear the tears he was trying to hide in the way his voice wavered, "In my dreams, I can still hear them screaming."

Gray thought about saying something to lighten the moment, but one look at Natsu, at the tension in his shoulders, and the set of his jaw made him realize that would be a mistake. He thought about how best to answer.

"Natsu, if you were a monster, you wouldn't feel bad about the things you did. You were in a dangerous situation, and you did everything you could to survive. You didn't enjoy any of it."

"Maybe, but sometimes I feel like I don't deserve to be happy."

"Of course you deserve it. You lived in hell for a year and a half. We both did. Every time I see your scars-" This time it was Gray who was tearing up. His hand let go of Natsu's and immediately moved to trace the worst of the scars over his shirt, a sizable nasty X shaped scar by Natsu's hipbone, "All I can think of is that any of those could've taken you away from me, and it scares the shit out of me."

"You were the only thing that kept me going," Natsu looked up at him with an intensity that made Gray a little nervous, and when he looked into Natsu's eyes, he saw what looked like small flames shining in them, "I love you."

Gray's heart sped up, and his breath hitched at the sound of those words. It was the first time Natsu had said those words to him, words he hadn't heard since Ur had died, and even back then, he'd had a hard time accepting that he was worthy of such deep devotion. He hadn't said them to anyone since his parents had died, even though he'd always known that it was what he felt for Natsu.

He couldn't bring himself to say the words now, and he worried, but to his great relief, he could see Natsu wasn't expecting him to. Gray leaned in to kiss his boyfriend, and as he kissed, he worked Natsu's shirt off, separating from him only long enough to remove it. He pushed him to the ground gently and traced every scar with his fingers, followed by his lips. Every caress a silent I love you, he hoped Natsu understood.

Gray heard music coming from outside his window and with a start he saw that afternoon had turned into early evening. He'd wasted the entire day, and for the first time since he'd kicked him out, he wondered how Natsu was doing.

Gray could only feel the faintest trace from him, and that worried him. He thought back to how devastated Natsu had looked when he'd left and remembered his words.

His mate would transform back into his dragon form as soon as the sun set. If Gray hurried, he might still be able to talk to him, to at least say a proper goodbye. He didn't know what was in store for them, but he didn't want to leave things at angry words. Not when they had such little time left, and certainly not after everything they'd meant to each other over the years.

He hurried into his bedroom to change into some clothes more appropriate for the occasion, knowing Erza would kill him if he showed up in what he was currently wearing. He changed quickly, grabbed his keys, and left his apartment, following the throng of people that were walking towards where the festival was being held. It was slow going, and he used his magic to make the surrounding people uncomfortable enough to clear a path for him.

The sun was getting lower in the sky and he ran towards the plaza. The festivities were in full swing, the ample space packed with people enjoying the live music. Gray quickly spotted Erza and Lyon standing near the dance floor.

The festival must have gone well because they both looked pleased. Lyon offered his hand to Erza and led her towards the dance floor where they spun around with the other couples. Gray caught his breath as he watched them, and suddenly, another memory got hold of him.

"Will you marry me?" Natsu blurted out as he held out a sword pendant with a beautiful firestone embedded at its center for Gray to take. "I—I made this for you."

"You want to marry me?" Gray gazed at Natsu, not quite believing what he'd heard. When Natsu nodded and replied with a grin, the one Gray couldn't resist, he knew just what his answer would be.

"Yes!" Gray picked Natsu up and swung him around as the dragon slayer laughed. Gray put him down, and when Natsu locked the clasp of the chain around his neck, the pendant immediately glowed.

"Why is it glowing?" He asked, holding it up to examine it.

"Because our souls are in harmony. Our bond is whole," Natsu explained as he touched the pendant. "I enchanted it with a ton of protection magic."

"As if I need protection," Gray scoffed good-naturedly.

"You are my Ice Princess," Natsu winked, his tone mischievous, and Gray swatted him.

Gray couldn't remember if he'd ever been this happy before. He grabbed Natsu's hand and kissed his knuckles before dragging him over to the dance floor, wanting an excuse to put his arms around his fiance while there were so many people around...

They were engaged? Had they gotten married?

As furious as he'd been, Gray knew he still loved Natsu. Had always loved him, since before he'd even understood what that type of love was. The years of worrying, the sorrow, the anger, none of it had changed that.

But if Natsu really was a dragon, how could they have any kind of relationship, and why was he human now? Wasn't there a chance they could change him back?

He couldn't waste any more time thinking about all of this. He had to find Natsu before it was too late. He needed his help to make sense of some of the things he'd seen. His hand moved up to the pendant, its origin finally revealed. It had been a mystery he'd been trying to figure out for the last two years.

He tried to feel through their bond, hoping to get an idea of where Natsu might be, if he were close or far, but to his dismay, even the constant hum that he'd gotten used to over the years had become faint. Gray had a terrible feeling that he might never see Natsu again if he didn't catch up to him before he transformed back into a dragon.

He looked around the plaza, but the only person he saw with pink hair was a little girl.

He would ask Erza whether she'd seen him. It was the only thing he could think of to do. He saw her talking to some people while Lyon danced with Juvia and hurried towards her, bravely grabbing her by the arm and pulling her away from the others.

"What's gotten into you?" Erza's nostrils flared as she put her hands on her hips.

He ignored her question and immediately launched into one of his own, "Have you seen Natsu?"

Erza gazed at him with a worried expression, knowing him well enough to detect the urgency in his tone. "Is something wrong?"

"Have you seen him?" Gray repeated impatiently.

"No, not since I saw him at your place. Did you two have a fight already?"

The song had ended, and Lyon had joined them, hearing the tail end of the conversation. "What did he say to you?"

"I got my memories back, Lyon. Well, most of them. There are still a few things I don't understand, but I need to find Natsu before the sun sets."

"Why before the sun sets?" Lyon and Erza both asked in unison. And if he hadn't been in such a hurry, Gray would have teased them about it.

"No time, I'll explain later."

"Did you check his favorite spot?" Erza asked, her expression thoughtful.

"His favorite spot? You mean the field?"

"No, I guess maybe he stopped going there once he got busy with the patrols, but I could always find him there. Come on, it'll be faster if I show you." Gray chased after her, thankful that he had thought to ask her. Erza had known Natsu for a very long time.

They tried to get through the crowd, but it proved difficult. Erza requipped into one of her armors, and that was enough to get people moving. She led them through several streets, stopping in front of one of the few buildings in Talos that had a flat roof and an unobstructed view of the lake and mountains. He could feel Natsu near.

He thanked Erza before calling on his ice, using it to lift himself to the roof. He found Natsu perched on the edge of the opposite side of the roof. He sat facing the lake, legs dangling, and eyes fixed firmly on the beautiful view.

Gray had never been up there before, but he could immediately see why Natsu liked it. He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. There were a lot of conflicting emotions raging inside of him. He wanted to go to Natsu, to touch him, kiss him, and take him back, but he also wanted to yell and punch him again. The conflicting desires were too much, and he ended up paralyzed, watching the sun's progress with an aching heart.

He just wanted things to go back to the way they'd been before Acnologia attacked.

After a few minutes of silence, Natsu finally got up from his spot and acknowledged him. Gray almost wished he hadn't. He'd never seen Natsu look as utterly defeated as he did at that moment. To make matters worse, he also had an air of determination about him that scared Gray even more than the defeat. He knew that face, Natsu had decided something, and Gray had a pretty good idea he wouldn't like whatever it was.

"You must have a lot of questions," Natsu guessed, his tone stoic as he looked at the sky, "There isn't much time left."

Gray took a moment to do something he'd failed to do that morning. He scrutinized Natsu, searching for changes from the last time they had seen each other a year earlier, and in doing so, he noticed something peculiar.

There was a grouping of stitches on his arm, stitches that looked oddly familiar. His eyes moved to Natsu's chest, which was only covered by the open vest he always wore, noting the scars that covered his torso and finding several he didn't remember Natsu having the previous year. One, in particular, looked recent. A scar that resembled charred skin, in a place that combined with the stitches on his arm and what he now knew Natsu to be, could only lead him to one devastating conclusion.

As outrageous as it might seem, Natsu and Fukou were one and the same.

Gray's mind flooded with all the telltale signs in his interactions with Fukou that he'd ignored.

The way his necklace had reacted to the dragon, how Fukou had called him Princess, and been so upset whenever he was in danger, yet still came to his rescue time and time again. How he'd healed his injuries while trying to warn him away from Natsu. But more than anything, he remembered that strange sense of peace he'd felt just sitting with Fukou at the top of the mountain and how often he'd thought the two were similar.

He wanted to discredit it, still wanting to deny what his heart had already accepted, but it made too much sense. Why would any other dragon put up with him? Even Happy would have probably told him to fuck off.

Gray cursed himself for not realizing it before, although he likewise knew there was no way he ever could have. Why would he?

He also remembered he hadn't exactly always been kind to the dragon, and felt even worse about the name he had chosen for him, knowing now some of the things it had probably brought up for Natsu.

"You're Fukou, aren't you." Gray phrased it as a statement, already convinced of its truth but wanting to hear it from Natsu just the same.

"Yeah," Natsu responded, and for some reason that Gray couldn't understand, he sounded sad by the admission.

"Why?" Gray raged, "Why not just tell me instead of making me think you didn't care? Hell, you told me as much!"

Natsu sighed, pulling at his hair in frustration, "You would never have believed me, and it allowed me to remain with you for longer."

"And maybe I thought if I could get you past your hatred...," Natsu closed his eyes tightly, "Nevermind."

His mate might not have finished his sentence, but Gray could still gather the meaning loud and clear.... then we could be together...

The cruel irony was that Gray had wished for the same thing. He'd wanted to spend an afternoon in that wildflower field with Natsu, and he'd been so frustrated to spend it watching over Fukou instead, never realizing his wish had been granted.

Gray had spent so much time being angry, thinking that Natsu hadn't even been trying, only to discover he'd been by his side the whole time. He felt awful, knowing he should have known better. That he should have trusted that Natsu would never have left him behind without good reason.

"Are we married?" Gray blurted out, realizing they were running out of time. He hadn't remembered a wedding yet, and he desperately needed to know. He hoped they were, that they'd done something with that happiness he'd felt earlier.

Natsu nodded, trying to look unaffected. "Don't worry, I'm sure you can get it annulled."

Those words hurt Gray more than the fact that Natsu had locked away his memories, or had hidden his identity from him. That he could just take everything they'd been and push it away so carelessly. He had to remind himself that Natsu was hiding his feelings to protect him.

"What if I don't want to?"

Natsu shrugged, still refusing to look at him. "I'm sorry. I don't really know what to say."

"I—I don't want to lose you," Gray grew ever more desperate at Natsu's attitude.

"You deserve to be happy," Natsu whispered, almost as if he was talking to himself, and Gray heard the pain in his voice. More importantly, he'd felt something through their bond, and that excited him.

Their bond was still there. Natsu was just trying to mute it. There was still hope that Gray could get through to him!

"Don't you?"

Natsu ignored his question and uttered the scariest words Gray had ever heard, "I'm going after Acnologia."

"That black dragon? Absolutely not! Are you out of your mind?"

"As long as he lives, no dragon will ever be safe. That's something I can try to do something about."

"Natsu, please don't do this," Gray pleaded, finally understanding how much was at stake, "I didn't mean to send you away, I was angry."

"I love you, I've always loved you."

Frustrated by Natsu's silence at his words, Gray snapped, "Will you look at me dammit?! We can make this work somehow."

Natsu complied, still trying to keep his emotions hidden, "No. We can't. Don't you get it? I can only take this form one day a year, and who knows how long that will be true. Is that what you want? A husband that can only be with you one day out of the year? What kind of life is that?"

"I'd rather be with you one day out of the year than never at all. We can... we can hang out as we have for the rest of the year."

"You're fooling yourself. Now that you know it's me, can you honestly tell me it won't hurt you to see me and know we can't be together? Because it hurt me, a lot."

Gray remained quiet, suddenly understanding the dragon's constant absences. He looked at Natsu with pity.

"Natsu—"

"No. No more!" Natsu roared, looking heavenward, "I'm going to do the right thing for once. I release you from our bond."

"What?! No! I refuse. We can work this out. Isn't that why you came to see me this morning?"

"It's almost time. I have to go." Natsu's voice had once again returned to the same stoic tone that was working away at Gray's very last nerve.

"We have all the time in the world. We're going to be together for the rest of our lives." Gray stared at Natsu levelly. "Do you remember saying those words to me?"

Natsu flinched as Gray threw his words back at him. "That was when I thought I could remain human."

"I don't care what you are, Natsu. I care about who you are."

"I know you think that, and I really am proud of how far you've come, but you don't seem to understand. This is who I am, it's who I've always been, and I am done hurting you."

The sun had finally set, and Gray watched helplessly as red scales appeared and slowly covered Natsu's body, starting at his feet and working their way up his body. Gray witnessed as Natsu grew a tail, and his body expanded. He forced himself to look on, wanting to show Natsu he could handle it. It was still painful to watch his love slowly disappear in front of him and change into the one thing he'd always hated.

But that wasn't exactly true anymore, Gray felt no animosity towards Natsu in this form. Before Natsu could stop him and while he could still see his face, Gray rushed to put his arms around him, pressing their lips together in one last kiss.

He felt Natsu respond.

"I love you," Gray repeated firmly, wanting Natsu to hear it, and hold on to it. That he could say those words to him even when he was in this form. Gray wasn't giving up, but he would give Natsu some time to think about what he'd said.

"Goodbye, Gray," Natsu said, and he stood in front of Gray as Fukou, the red dragon he'd grudgingly befriended over the last year. He let Gray observe him briefly before taking off from the roof without another word.

Gray watched Natsu fly away from him, feeling more alone than ever, and thinking about how much they'd hurt each other over the years without meaning to.

Another memory overwhelmed him. This one more vivid than all the others that had preceded it.

"No, no, no," Natsu rubbed his snout on Gray's face as he fretted over Gray's lifeless body, "Stay with me, love. I need you."

"I don't care if you hate me, just please, please don't die."

Natsu? Gray gazed up in confusion at the enormous red dragon that was staring down at him. It seemed to be crying. Why was it crying? Its green eyes were glowing as brightly as emeralds, and it reminded him of something. No, someone.

Gray could feel the blood oozing out of him as he kept coming in and out of consciousness. The sharp pain in his head alerting him he probably had a concussion. He felt so cold and, with a slight panic, realized he couldn't feel anything below his waist. Gray wanted nothing more than to close his eyes, but the dragon's eyes begged him to stay.

Gray could see there was a lot of blood, and he didn't think it could have all possibly come from him. Was the dragon injured too? This all felt so surreal. How had he gotten to the field with this dragon? And why wasn't it trying to kill him?

Where was his hatred?

His emotions all felt so far away. Gray wanted to yell at the dragon to leave him alone, but he couldn't. There was something different about it. He felt connected to it.

A soothing warmth traveled down his body, it was familiar, and his tired brain tried to make the association as feeling returned to his legs. When had he felt this before? He felt better as the warmth healed his wounds. Gray still felt woozy, but the dragon seemed in worse shape than before. It continued to treat him regardless, and Gray could hear it muttering to itself even if he couldn't quite make out the words. Suddenly it stopped and fell over, panting and whining.

"Natsu!" Gray yelled and tried to get up, but he was still too weak. That's right, he remembered now. Natsu had transformed into a dragon to fight off the black dragon that had attacked Talos.

They both lay on the ground staring at each other.

"Gray?" Natsu called out to him, and when Gray grunted, he dragged himself over. Gray panicked at the dragon's injuries.

"You idiot, why did you heal me? Look at you!" Gray's voice sounded shrill as the fear settled into it. He didn't know what the fuck was going on, but his husband lay injured and in great pain, and there was nothing he could do about it. He ignored the glaring issue with him being a dragon for the moment.

"You were — dying," Natsu gasped the words out with great difficulty, clearly not in good shape, "Couldn't let — that happen."

"We have to get you help," Gray tried to move once again, screaming in frustration when he couldn't.

"Don't worry, I'll be — fine," Natsu coughed, and blood sprayed on the ground near Gray's head, "Sorry — Gray."

"Just shut up, we'll talk about it once you change back."

"Can't change — back."

"What are you talking about, of course you can."

Natsu shook his head, bright emerald eyes dulling to dark green. "Can't. Last time — felt it."

"I don't understand any of this," Gray reached out his hand towards Natsu's snout, wanting to comfort him. He could see Natsu's eyes reclaim some of their radiance at the slight gesture, but Gray had to put his arm down seconds later.

He couldn't do it, he couldn't bring himself to touch his husband, and while Gray hated himself for it, it didn't change the way he felt.

"I — I can't," Gray wanted to say something, anything to make things better, but he knew there was nothing that would reduce the sting of his rejection.

Natsu only nodded and closed his eyes, trying to catch his breath as his tears fell discreetly. "I — understand." He stood up, using his wings for balance. "You should be free of this."

"Natsu — I'm sor—"

"It's okay," Natsu interrupted, casting a spell. His talons glowed with a bluish light, creating a small magic circle.

"What are you doing?!"

Natsu opened his eyes at last, and Gray had to gasp at the sorrow he saw in their depths, "I'm setting you free. You deserve to be happy." He touched his talons to Gray's forehead.

He tried to protest, but the magic soon entered his head, and he wasn't strong enough to fight it off. He closed his eyes for a second, needing to think.

Gray opened his eyes, finding himself alone in the field. How had he gotten here? He heard a noise above him but couldn't make it out. A voice echoing in his head soon distracted him.

I'm sorry.

With the last mystery finally revealed, Gray's first reaction was to throw up violently, the acid bile in his stomach revolting against his actions.

Gods, what had he done?! Natsu had almost killed himself to save him, and Gray had rejected him.

Natsu hadn't taken his memories to shield himself. He'd done it because when faced with an impossible situation and Gray's rejection, he'd done what he always did. Protect Gray as best he could. He'd set him free and doomed himself to a life of loneliness, with only their memories for comfort.

Gray was still standing on the roof when Natsu returned to eat the enormous bonfire the town had built up for him as an offering. He watched as the dragon did a few lackluster aerials for the kids before giving a mighty roar and flying back to his cave.