There were guards positioned outside the room when we finally made our way outside. The hallway was empty for the most part. The Synod was in a meeting with Britta. According to Cohen, who had sat slumped on his sister's throne waiting for us, the doors to the throne room open so he could see us walk by, the advisors had been upset with this newest development.

"Of course that isn't the way they're phrasing it," Cohen had said, his hair curling over his flushed cheeks as he'd glanced over at Kai as we'd begun walking towards what I'd been told would be his new room.

The tension between the two brothers was thick enough to cut with a blade, but I wouldn't be the one to break it.

Kai seemed unsure what to do either. His hand was unusually sweaty against mine, his usually tanned skin lacking color. Cohen had been trying to fill the silence of our walk with conversation, asking me about anything and everything he could think of. But we'd spent a good deal of time together and it was becoming obviously redundant.

When he nervously asked me for the third time if I'd been given a new room assignment or if I was still staying in the first floor closet I'd been given after the attack, Kai put him out of his misery and said, "Thank you, Cohen, for what you did back there."

Cohen nearly tripped over his own feet. "What?"

Kai's smile was uncomfortable. "With the trial. I talked to Britta plenty, but it's clear that whatever you said to her...she cares a lot about your opinion," his voice sharpened with emotion and he cleared his throat. "And your opinion means a lot to me too. So thank you for whatever you said to her."

"Oh." Cohen swallowed, his hands slipping into his pockets as he shrugged, trying to give the appearance of nonchalance—but I knew him.

I'd known him for a long time now, or at least it felt that way. The things we'd seen and been through together were the sort that bound you irrevocably. He was my family. I could see the way his half-brother's words weighed on him.

"I told her that if she executed you, I'd never speak to her again." Cohen cleared his throat and then coughed, the sound turning into a little laugh as he added. "I wish I could say I was kidding, but that's legitimately what I told her."

Kai stopped walking, pulling me to a halt with him. "What?"

Cohen stopped too. "Yeah. All of this," he gestured to the palace around us. "It was built on lies and betrayal and a family that was at each other's throats and I'm done with that. We're a family. Or we're supposed to be, I guess. Blood means shit. And what you said back there about not being a Warwick is shit too. You're a Warwick as much as I am—"

Kai hissed through his teeth at the words and shook his head, "Damn, Cohen. As appreciated as that is—and I need you to listen to me and know that I appreciate it, I do. Truly. It means...It means a lot to me, coming from you. The fact that you're saying that...that I think you mean it..." Kai shook his head and let go of my hand to run his fingers through his hair. "But you can't say that. Not to anyone. Not ever again. I can't either. As far as the world is concerned, I'm a Callahan. I might be better off changing my full name as well."

I winced as his words, the idea of him being anything other Kai physically paining me.

"Maybe," Cohen said, his voice low. "But I still meant it. I still do mean it. You're my brother. I don't know what that means or what I want that to mean. Maybe nothing. But I did know that I couldn't let her put a bullet through your head. I couldn't. I've lost my parents and Uri. And before it's over, Larkin will probably be gone too. And my family was never anything great, but it was mine. And now it's you and Britta. I'm tired of loss."

I felt that in my very bones.

"Thank you Thank you for everything, Cohen." Kai held his gaze for a moment longer before he turned back to me, taking my hand again. I offered him a small smile before we started down the hall once more.

We made it about five feet before Cohen said, "And for what it's worth, I don't think you deserve to die anyway. Nothing you've done has been any worse than what the rest of us are guilty of. We've all done things worthy of a firing squad. And, if I remember correctly, there was once a time when you were ordered to have us executed and you didn't."

Kai stopped walking again but he didn't turn to look at Cohen this time.

The prince kept talking. "That's right, isn't it? I remember hearing about it from Monroe, but it's been a while and I'd completely forgotten about it until recently. But I remembered when I was having to decide if you would live or die at my hands. I thought about how we first met. About the decisions you made. I remember that when we got to Third Corps you were ordered to have all of us executed, it was your choice what to do with us, and you disobeyed Caine's orders. You let us live."

"You make it sound like I was being a hero."

"I don't know what it was," Cohen admitted.

"Selfishness. Curiosity. I—I..." Kai closed his eyes for a second. When he reopened them he looked steadier. "I wanted to know you. All of you. My siblings. The goddess-touched girls. It felt like a part of my life that I'd been kept from and I wanted to understand it."

"But you didn't let them pull the trigger and you haven't let them since."

"No."

Cohen shrugged. "Consider us even then, brother."

They stared at each other for a long moment and then Kai nodded.

Cohen didn't walk with use the rests of the way, but he did send Nadia and another healer to Kai's room so he could finish getting patched up. I sat in a chair by the window, still in stunned silence over the events of the day, as Nadia and another girl examined the burn on his chest and the multiple cuts, scraps, burns, and bruising all over him.

With every moment that passed, the fear and anger and uncertainty of everything waned. My joy bloomed, a flower I cradled close to me, cherishing as if a winters chill might arrive at any minute a kill it. Kai seemed to feel the same way.

His smile seemed to be coming easier, the pallor of his skin healthier as Nadia worker her ability. There was awkwardness between them that went mostly unaddressed, but I knew they'd talk when they were ready. I didn't care if I was there or not. Kai's relationships and who he received forgiveness from and gave forgiveness to weren't mine to police.

Every few seconds Kai and I would catch each other staring and start laughing at nothing, at everything, at the fact that Britta had pardoned him. I had no idea what it meant, but the possibilities that came with it were beautiful and I was forcing myself to focus on that alone.

Nadia had been quiet as she'd healed Kai, her expression open and kind as always, but her words few. I could tell she was thinking and trying to decide what exactly she wanted to say. I watched as the ink-black of her fingertips slid over Kai's skin, her goddess-given marks so much prettier and more unique than mine.

Finally, her hands came to rest over the old bullet found on his upper chest. Her brow furrowed as she whispered, "I'm sorry for that." She laid her palm flat against it, her voice turning hoarse as she said to him, "I want him to die for what he's done. I—In that moment...when I thought you were going to shoot him...I wanted you to die too."

Kai met her gaze unflinching, and I knew that he wouldn't fault her not matter what he answer was. "Do you still want that?"

She hesitated, studying. "No. I did for a long time. I was angry."

"That's okay."

"I think the moment you fire those shots into the man who stabbed me, I was done hating you though. I'm tired. Really tired."

He eyed her bandaged shoulder and upper arm. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"I'm sorry that I scared you. I wouldn't have ever shot Cohen. Not ever. I need you to know that, Nadia. He's..." He cleared his throat. "Well, I guess after that trial, I don't really know what he is to me anymore. At least not publicly. Maybe not even privately. But I see him as being a brother. He's family to me. And I wouldn't hurt him. Not ever."

"Not even for Monroe? She means the world to you."

"They both mean the world. And I'd fight to save them both. We did fight to save them both. You and me, remember? And they fought to save themselves." He looked to me. "That's the good thing about Monroe. She tends to look out for herself, even when I worry she can't. She does." He winked at me and then looked back to Nadia. "Same for Cohen. Same for you. We're fighters. Survivors. All of us."

"I know that."

"I made a decisions that hurt you. I'm sorry for that, Nadia. I'm sorry that what I did impacted you and that I hurt you. I hate that you were in that position. You don't have to forgive me today—in fact, I'd prefer that you didn't. I'd like to earn your trust again. I'm hoping we have years ahead of us where we can hopefully build a proper friendship."

A knock at the bedroom door interrupted what Nadia was about to say next.

Kai cleared his throat and called, "Enter."

"Monroe, you in here?" It was Jaxon. He shot Kai a weary glance, still unsure how to feel. "I heard you might be in here with him." He jerked his head out into the hall. "Not to ruin your moment or whatever this is, but I need you for a second."

I stood and walked to where Kai sat on the bed. I kissed him, playing with his hair before I pulled away and said, "I've already ordered a bunch of food. It'll be up here soon. I thought you'd probably be hungry. We could eat lunch and then sleep for a little while."

"I want to meet with Britta," Kai said. "I told her last night when I met with her that if things...if things went my way I wanted to talk to her about the Culling. It can't remain open ended like this, especially not for long. People will want answers—"

"We'll talk to her."

"Monroe!" Jax called from his place by the door. "I literally made a detour to come get you. It's urgent."

I kissed Kai one more time and then followed him out into the hall.

"What is it?"

He started walking quickly, down hallway after hallway towards the main level of the palace.

"Jax?"

"Patience, Monroe."

"You're the one who came to get me and claimed it was urgent."

We rounded a corner, heading towards main stairwell and the grand entrance of the palace. So much of Oredison had been turned to rubble in the fighting, especially the upper levels—which had taken the brunt of the explosives and my fire. Most of the large pieces of debris had been pushed to the side, the hallways swept and the worst of the damaged items moved outside where they would either be refurbished or used for firewood. But I was still dodging piles of things as I hurried to keep up with Jax's brisk pace.

I was almost running. "Goddess, slow down, Jax."

"Have you told her yet?" Heidi appeared from an open doorway to my left, looping her arm through mine. With Caine to fill her desire to torture people, she'd been unnaturally chipper of late.

I shot her an incredulous look. "Told me what?"

"No," Jax said, "and you won't either."

She had a bunch of what looked like blankets in her other arm.

Tavin ran to meet us just as we reached the main foyer of the palace. "They've just arrived. Birk and Em are usin' some of the transports from the shop to help bring the last of them in. And Britta's already got food laid out. Beds are bein' prepped as we speak..." He was breathing heavily and had to pause to place his hands on his knees. "There's not a ton, but more than we thought. Maybe a hundred, hard to tell. And you know how they can exaggerate. Arden is helping to organize things, but he's..."

I didn't hear the rest of it.

I didn't care to hear the rest of it.

My mother was standing in the courtyard outside Oredison Palace. She was thin, her hair punctuated with silver and her face more lined than I remembered, but she was there. Standing in the sunshine, smiling at me.

Her arms stretched wide for me and within seconds, I was there. Out the door, down the steps, through the crowd of people, and in her arms. Home.

She held me tightly. "They said you were here but I hardly believed it." Her hand shook as she smoothed it over the top of my head, her fingers tangling in my hair. "I've been trying to read newspapers, but you know how things are in Various. It's always so late. And then in last few weeks I couldn't—" A sob choked from her and buried her face in the crook of my neck. I held her.

"It's okay. I'm here. I'm fine."

She pulled back, cupping my face in her hands. Her eyes were shining. "There were rumors in Varos that a girl was killed in the area by the new queen and I was so scared that it was you. None of our papers had good name or description and the pictures were bloody or too blurry to tell anything. I kept asking people if it was Monroe Benson, but no one could tell me for sure."

"It wasn't."

She swallowed and wiped at her eyes. She forced a smile, as if she realized all of a sudden that she was being watched. "I'm so happy you're safe. You're turning your old mama gray. As are all these...these children—" she pulled away from me, she nodded to the people milling around the courtyard.

I realized then that it was most children. All of them different ages. Some dressed nicer than others, but most looked like they hadn't eaten or slept in days. There were a few girls around my age in the group, many cradling babies or toddlers in their arms.

My throat burned ass I turned in a slow circle, taking in my surroundings. When I faced my mother again I whispered, "Where?"

"Your rebel camp," Mama said.

Joy sparked through me so intense, I could barely think past it. "Third Corps? These people are from Vayelle? Are—Did Ambrose and Kace—?"

But my mother was already shaking her head, her hands caught my shoulders, as if she thought I might balk. "No."

Tears welled in my eyes. "No?"

Mama nodded. Her voice was quiet, that of someone who had given bad news a million times. "They were very, very brave, Monroe."

"They can't be dead."

"They are."

"Their bodies?"

She shook her head. "Ellora says that she thinks Kace would be found in the camp and that he would have some sort of identification on him, but by now it's likely not worth..." she shook her head. "She says that Ambrose wouldn't be in the camp."

"Ellora is alive?"

"Yes."

I looked at the groups of huddled people are me. They were filtering in the palace in droves. Heidi and many others were handing out blankets and tin cups of water. Guards were directing the lines of women and children towards the makeshift refugee housing within.

Mama was still speaking, very voice quiet. "Ellora and a few of the healers helped with all of this. Two girls named Teagan and Keeley, namely. Those were the ones that came knocking on my door begging for help. Ambrose helped them, they said. He and a few of the younger men helped load the transports full of children. Then the men drew the guards in the other direction and they ran with the children. Got across the border with them, through some hidden passage. Kace stayed behind and he didn't..." Mama shook her head. "It breaks my heart to think of it."

"But Ambrose came with Ellora and the others?"

She nodded. "He was driving one of the transports and Ellora another, but he...he was shot at some point and he didn't make it. I think Ellora would have stayed with him, would have died alongside him if she could but he wouldn't let her risk the baby. He made her promise before they started on all of this that she'd keep going no matter what. So she did. She did it for their baby."

All the air left my lungs at once at the word.

Mama must have seen my face because she said. "Fine. Perfectly healthy. A little boy. She called him Theo."

"Theo," I said. "Where are they now?"

"Ellora is inside somewhere feeding him. She's struggling—not physically, but emotionally. Which is to be expected. Things are hard right now. She needs time."

"Did you deliver him?"

Mama shook her head and wrapped an arm around my waist, guiding me back towards the palace. Everyone was heading inside where spreads of food and piles of supplies had been prepared. Britta must have received word of the refugees and prepared for their arrival.

I'd told her to prove that she wasn't Viera, and here she was doing it again.

I listened as mama and others told me exactly what had happened.

According to the children and women surrounding me, Kace was a hero, just as he'd always wanted to be. He and Ambrose had helped to save the children of Third Corps. But they hadn't done so alone.

Apparently, when my my brother sent those radio messages begging for help, it had been part of a diversion so that Ambrose, Ellora, rebel healers Teagan and Keeley, and many others, could get the refugee children out of Third Corps unseen. They'd managed to steal a few transports to get them through part of the Suri Gap, and then they'd gone through the tunnels in the Demarti Mountains on foot.

The remaining rebels had fought back and caused enough chaos that none of Caine's guards realized what was happening until the children were long gone. They'd made it to my mother and she'd sheltered all of them. Bonnie Conard and Sam Gleason were two of the dozens of small children saved because of the sacrifices made by Carina, Dee, General Mazarine, Vykr, Alexi Hoffman, Ambrose, Kace, and countless others.

Then there was Theo. Apparently the newest Benson was like the rests of us and didn't do anything the easy way. My nephew came into the world in the upper bedroom of a brothel, the same night Caine sent men to burn down my family's home. He might have died in our burning house if it weren't for one of the Scalps—one of the most shunned and hated individuals in Varos—who came to our homestead in the middle of The Stretch, walking for miles in the snow, to warn my mother to get out.

The whores of Varos, the forgotten people of our kingdom, had opened their doors to my family. The goddess-forsaken did not forsake them. And it was only because of their quick action, their willingness to risk much when they had so little, that Ellora had a place to labor unharmed. 

It was an effort not to seek Ellora out. But I knew what loss paired with a victory felt like and I knew what it was to need privacy and solitude, and not be allowed the time to have those things. So I made myself leave her be. I would speak to her and see the baby when she was ready.

***

That night Kai and I lay in bed together and talked long into the night about everything that happened between us. About the lies and omissions. About the choices we'd each made. As we talked, he sketched. He wouldn't let me see what he was drawing, but I knew. It was a secret to me that he had the list from the antechamber.

Even though Britta hadn't given any verdict on the goddess-touched girls, Kai was determined not to let that keep us from dreaming. I wasn't ready to think too deeply about what it might mean if she decided to execute me, so I indulged him. I leaned into the hope of it all.

And I had hope. For the first time in a long time, I had this odd sense of hope that Britta might actually do right by me. By all of us.

Kai lay on his side facing me, his dark hair falling into his golden eyes as he worked on what was in his weatherboard sketchbook. He glanced up at me, setting his pencil down as he watched me. After a moment he whispered, "You were quiet at dinner tonight. What was on your mind?"

We'd eaten in Cohen's rooms with Heidi, Nadia, and Cohen. My mother had gone to bed early and Ellora had been absent by choice, so it had been a quiet family affair of sorts. It hadn't been awkward. We had lots to talk about. Lots of musing to do.

Heidi regularly saw Caine and Larkin, since both were in the prison and she was allowed down there to try to get information for Darragh. We'd spent most of dinner talking about about Caine and the condition I'd left him in. Apartmently, he was burned pretty bad. His skin was charred nearly off. His eyes almost pits. His mouth dry as dust.

"He begs for water," Heidi had said.

But the talk of imprisonment had gotten me thinking about something else, something I hadn't thought about in a long time. Something I'd never brought up to Kai. I pursed my lips, unsure if I was ready to tell him my suspicions just yet.

So instead, I said, "Would you be upset if I went to prison and finished Caine off myself?"

Kai was quiet for a long moment, his hand running lazy circles across the bare flesh of my arm. "Not upset, no. Jealous, maybe."

I perked up at that, propping myself up on my elbow as I asked. "Would you kill him?"

"I wish that I could. I wish that it wouldn't haunt me. But I think it probably would."

"Don't sound so guilty. He raised you. I don't think it's a bad thing that you can't kill him."

"He wasn't a good father."

"Doesn't matter. He's was still a father to you. Cohen can tell you it still bothers him that he killed Viera. And she wasn't great mother to him. She was the opposite, actually. But he's the one who has to live with that. Every single day. At the end of it, she was still his mother. I can't blame him, I guess, for wishing that he hadn't been the one to do it. And I can't be upset at you for wanting to be the person to kill Caine."

"I think he ought to go to trial." He smiled at me, his warm fingers moving from my shoulder to tug on a tug of my hair. "You should let him go to trial."

"Why?"

"Because it isn't about him. It's about Britta."

"What do you mean?"

"She's proving herself. And," he smiled to himself. "I'm curious about my sister. The more I learn, the more I think I might actually like."

"Not me. I'd be fine killing him myself." I shoved his shoulder, knocking him onto his back before I moved to lay atop his chest.

He groaned in pain as I pressed onto his injuries. "Ouch."

I only rolled my eyes. "Hush, you baby. Nadia healed you better than that. I know she did."

He smiled. "Not my pride she didn't. You wound me with your words."

I laughed and said, "Need me to kiss it and make it better?"

He cupped my face in his hands and pressed a kiss to the tip of my nose and then to my lips, chaste—sweet. "Definitely," he said.

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I'm trying to upload when I can! So I'm sorry for not following a consistent schedule. There will be at least one a week from here on forward. Though there aren't many chapters left.

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