Reubinon Palace, Pellarmus.
After the Third Corps execution.

Reports of bodies began to arrive the next morning. Kace was one of the first. The news arrived in a letter from Darragh. Heidi came shortly after to tell me details but I didn't want to know anything else. Maybe one day it might matter to me, but just then, it didn't. Whether Kace's corpse was burned or if he'd been shot or hung or...or if any other number of terrible things had happened to him. None of it changed the fact that my brother was dead. They'd found his identification card in his pocket along with a wrinkled paper containing radio coordinates and a hastily written note to my mother.

According to the reports, the note had simply read:

Mama,

I'm so sorry for everything.

I love you.

Kace

Hearing Heidi tell me about that letter brought back a million little memories. I wondered what words were said between my mother and Kace the last time they'd seen each other. I knew she'd scolded him for his involvement in my capture and in his loyalty to the Crown over his own family. And, goddess, we'd always cared so much about mother's opinion—I'd known that her words, even spoken in a form of reproachful love, would have cut him deeply.

The existence of this letter told a story too. It was evidence that my brother had believed he was going to die. He'd found some precious sliver time to write a few words of apology. The boy who had helped teach me to read, had used some of his last moments to write an apology because he still felt guilt over what had happened with me.

I wanted to scream at him.

I wanted to reach between the layers of time and space and tell him that I forgave him. I wanted to tell him that I understood why he'd made the choices he had. I wanted to tell him that I didn't like what he'd done, I didn't like that he'd chosen Viera, but I could never truly blame him for choosing our mother's safety over mine. I'd made my own treacherous bed in Erydia, he'd only tucked me beneath blankets I'd sewn myself.

"It's a slow process and many of the bodies have no clear way to identify them." Heidi had said to me. "Darragh should get a full list of known names in the next few days. I...I spoke to Dellacov earlier, he's been sitting in on a lot of the meetings with Britta and the others. He saw a revised list an hour or so ago. Dellacov said that Ambrose's name is on the list now too. I think Ambrose had his identification card on him too, that's how they know for sure."

And just like that, all hope was lost.

***

The next day, I dressed and went to Cohen's sick room. When I arrived, the bed was empty and Nadia was alone, curled up in a chair, her head tilted forward, her eyes almost closed. At my knock, she startled fully awake.

"What! What is—?" Her panic melted away as she caught sight of me. "Oh. Hey." She slid from the chair and hurried to where I stood. "Are you okay? Heidi—She was upset and worried for you. She said you'd gone on a run and then that the news about your brothers bodies being recovered had only made things worse. I—Neither of us knew what to do for you... I've been so concerned and I wanted to go to you, but after yesterday, Heidi thought you needed time."

"I'm here now."

Nadia's brow furrowed at that, but it was the best I could manage. There was no way I could lie to her and say I was fine. I wasn't, but I'd woken up with a drive to do something. I wanted a distraction. I wanted to feel like I was working towards a goal.

"Where's Cohen?"

Her smile was tentative, but her eyes were bright with excitement as she nodded to the closed bathing room door. "Oh, um, he's taking a bath. He woke in the early hours of this morning. He—He ate and slept some, but he was anxious to talk to everyone and see what's happened since the attack. I'd have—I think I'd have had to chain him to the bed to keep him there."

"Kinky." Heidi said as she appeared in the hallway behind me. She met my eyes, her own as dark and wicked as ever—the girl who had held me as I cried was now gone. I was glad of it.

Nadia's face was bright red as she said, "I tried to talk him into resting for the day, but after I told him about what happened in Third Corps..."

I cut her off. "I'm glad to hear he's awake."

She nodded. "Yes, and the healing I did seems to have all worked. He isn't even sore."

Heidi moved past me and sat on the edge of the bed, looking up at the two of us. She cleared her throat and announced, "We—I've thought a lot about it and—We've got to kill him. Caine, I mean."

"Of course," Nadia said. "That's been the goal the whole time, hasn't it?"

"Maybe for us," she said. "But I think Darragh would let him live if we aren't careful. Right now, his focus is on Kai and on eliminating Larkin as a potential threat."

Nadia separated from me and retreated to her chair again. "What makes you say that?"

"Tavin has become friends with some of the tech guys Britta has watching the radio broadcasts coming out of Erydia. They talk to the spies over there and pass messages for Britta and Darragh."

"Sounds a lot like you've become friends with Tavin," I said dryly.

Heidi shot me a glare. "Anyway, they make it sound like the biggest target is Kai."

"That's—" I bit back my words as Nadia's gaze slid to me. Frustration gleamed in those brown eyes and that sentiment seemed be mirrored on Heidi's face too. I leaned a shoulder against the doorframe and said, "It's ridiculous to only aim at Kai. The problem is bigger than just him. Kai might be king, but everyone knows it's Caine pulling the strings."

"That might be true," Nadia said. "But Caine can't do anything without Kai's signature. The moves he's making, the people he's killing, Kai has to know. He has to be sanctioning it."

Heidi must have caught the expression on my face because she said, "Maybe with Third Corps off the table he'll fight back?" There was no faith in the words.

I nodded.

Nadia said nothing in response to that, she only chewed on a hangnail and watched me, her expression heavy with unspoken words.

"What?" I said softly. "Just say it."

My friends exchanged a glance.

So, this was how it would be then, them against me.

When the hell did that start?

When she spoke again, Nadia's voice was somehow even shakier than normal. "Will you—Will you stand with us when we return to Erydia? Fight with us, I mean."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Of course, I will. What kind of question is that?"

Heidi shook her head and leaned forward, her elbows on her knees and hands clasped between them as she said, "I think what Nadia is trying to ask is: will you stand with us or will you stand with Kai?"

My throat grew tight. "We've already talked about this."

"Have we?" Heidi said. "Because it always seems like you aren't talking about it. And I realize that you've just had a severe loss and maybe this isn't the time, but we are on the edge of a massive battle. Huge. World altering. And we need to know—Everyone, even Cohen, is questioning whether or not you're on our side."

"Does—Why does being on your side mean I have to be against Kai?"

"Good goddess, Benson." Heidi straightened and shoved a finger towards the partially opened window, as if she could point all the way across that ocean to the Erydian throne at the other side. "Because he's king. He's king and Darragh hasn't exactly been secretive about what he plans to do with him. So, you're either going to have to watch him die or you're going to make yourself our enemy. Which is it?"

Nadia glanced between us. "Let's—I didn't mean for this to be a fight. Let's just take a minute to breathe..."

"No," Heidi said, her voice soft but not meek as she said to me, "Darragh has plans to sail for Erydia next week. And if you can't put your heart behind this cause, if you can't fight with us, then you should stay here."

My eyes burned as I said, "You're talking like I'm the enemy."

I thought Heidi might throw something at me. "No, Monroe, I'm talking like you're my friend."

Worry.

She was worried.

"I'll be fine."

She shook her head. "Like hell you will." Heidi's nostrils flared with annoyance as she demanded, "Do you love him?"

"I—"

Heidi cut me off. "Answer the damn question."

"Yes."

Nadia sighed heavily and shoved dark hair from her face. "Then stay here. Don't go with us. There is nothing good for you in Erydia. Not if you love Kai. He's...It isn't—What may happen in Erydia...you won't like it. It'll make things worse for you."

"I can't stay here. It's as much my fight as yours."

"Let's take a step back for a moment," Heidi said. "Let's consider the alternative of letting Kai live. If he does, then what?"

I shifted my stance, fully aware of their eyes on me as I said, "What do you mean?"

"Well, there are a lot of problems that will arise if he lives," Heidi said. "For starters, if he has a son it'll restart the Culling."

"We—" I stopped. It was presumptuous of me to say that Kai wouldn't have children. That was assuming that I had a choice in it. It was assuming we were even still together. I loved him. I was mad as hell with him, but I still loved him. I still stood by the vow I'd made to him.

But he'd sent me away and I didn't know exactly what that goodbye meant.

If I returned, he may not want me anymore.

Nadia's voice was soft as she said, "I—I know you don't want to hear it, but you aren't good for each other, Monroe. Look—Just look at what he's done. Look at all the people he's lied to and hurt. You don't even really know him. The person—the man you knew in Third Corps, that was a lie. The Callahan you fell in love with never existed. It was trap. You...You were a toy to him. You know it as well as the rest of us do."

The door to the bathing room creaked opened and Cohen stepped into the room, his hair dripping from his bath. He smiled at me as he finished tucking his shirt into his trousers. "I heard shouting...?"

I crossed the room and threw my arms around his neck. He stumbled back a step and hugged me back. His voice was muffled by my hair as he said, "Nadia told me about your brothers, I'm so sorry."

I nodded into his chest, so relieved to see him up and moving, that I barely registered his words. We pulled back from each other and he walked to where Nadia sat and perched on the edge of her chair as he towel dried his hair.

He ran his knuckle over her jaw line as he said, "Don't—uh—Don't stop shouting on my account."

"We weren't shouting," she muttered, her face and neck growing flushed at his intimate touch.

His lips twitched and he shrugged. "Well, I could hear most of it from the bath, so you sure weren't whispering."

"Fine then," Heidi said, her voice sharp with annoyance. "What's your opinion? Should Benson go to Erydia if she can't handle seeing Kai executed."

Executed.

Like what had happened to my brothers. Suddenly I felt lightheaded. I sank onto a nearby metal stool and leaned into the wall behind me. I closed my eyes against the sudden onslaught of emotion and unbidden imagery the word conjured. Had Kace been shot in the head the way Larkin had killed that soldier in the transport? Would Darragh have that done to Kai?

Cohen stilled. "I—I feel like anything I might say could be misinterpreted as me coming off as the jealous ex. And I wouldn't want that. We...It really... We're friends and we've both moved on. But... I don't really think it's my place to tell Monroe how she should feel about Ka—"

"You don't get an excuse not to answer, prince," Heidi said.

He pursed his lips, his attention still on me.

"Go on," I said.

"Well..." he shrugged, "I think he's made some poor decisions and he's gotten himself into a mess. I think he's lied and he's cheated and he's hurt a ton of people—you and me included. But I also know that he begged Darragh to get you out. Even when you wanted to stay. Even when he knew you wanted to stay, he sent you away. And he sent his mother away." Cohen shrugged. "I think that, at least, was honorable."

"Nice speech," Heidi said. "But that doesn't answer the question."

Nadia shot her a look. "Put your claws away and be nice. Cohen's been unconscious for over a week."

Heidi rolled her eyes. "Has he been unconscious for the past six months? This has nothing to do with honor and everything to do with whether or not Kai needs to die. And we all know he does. If he lives, there will always be the threat of another Culling."

"Before—Before when the Culled was—When we thought—" I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. "They were going to sterilize Cohen, why—why not do the same to Kai?" I hated myself for saying it, for even mentioning that alternative, but it was better than him being dead.

Cohen leaned into the back of Nadia's chair. "It's something to be discussed with Britta. This isn't our decision."

"Do you not want him dead?" There was no accusation in Nadia's voice, just simple curiosity.

Cohen frowned. "I don't know. Sometimes I think I'd like for him to die and other times..." He ran a hand through his damp hair. "Other times, I think I've lost enough family."

The room fell silent.

When Cohen spoke again, his voice was gentle. "Either way, there's no point in talking about it. We aren't the ones who will make that decision. Besides, Monroe's had a rough few days and I've had a rough...well, a rough while." He laughed and tossed his wet towel onto the foot of the bed. "Let's get some food and get out of this damn room."

He stood and offered Nadia a hand to help her up. After a second, she took it and let him pull her to her feet. They stood like that, holding hands, their chests nearly pressed together, for a long while.

Long enough that Heidi cleared her throat, "Do we need to excuse ourselves or...?"

I shot her a glare.

"What?" Heidi said defensively. "I have better things to do than watch them—"

"You're awake!" We all turned to see Britta standing in the hallway. Her smile faltered a bit when she saw all of us gathered together.

Cohen and Nadia stepped back from each other, the former moving to embrace his sister. Her voice was heavy with tears as she said, "I came by earlier and you were sleeping."

"You should have woke me."

She shook her head. "No. No, you need to rest. You should still be resting."

He pulled away and offered her a small smile as he said, "I can't rest, I'm up for an hour and my friends are already in here plotting a rebellion and the assassination of a king."

Britta blinked in surprise and glanced at us. "Not my king, I hope."

Nadia shook her head. "We were just talking about Erydia."

She pursed her lips and offered her brother a tight smile. "Yes..."

I remembered then that the last time they'd really spoken, they'd been fighting. Britta seemed to remember it too. She took a small step towards the door and said, "We should discuss that, but..." She met her brother's eyes. "I'd really like to talk to you privately first though."

Cohen nodded as if he'd expected this.

Heidi got to her feet, as if that was our dismissal.

Britta smile at her, "But I do want to discuss the rebellion with all of you. I'm trying to keep you in the loop as much as I can, but things are changing all the time and—" Her throat bobbed as she said, "And it's been a difficult few days."

The room fell silent.

Britta and Darragh's marriage was still very much a secret outside of the palace. They'd attended events together recently and there were rumors, but Darragh had wanted to solidify plans for the Erydia attack before their marriage and crowning was announced. According to what Isla had told me, the governors of Pellarmus liked Britta and were already pleased with how Darragh had done in his short time as king. Although his movements and decisions had been kept small due to secrecy.

The fact that their marriage was unannounced also meant that Britta's pregnancy and the abrupt end of it was also kept silent. No one had officially said anything about her miscarriage, but Nadia had known and told me, and I knew most everyone else at that meeting had been able to guess.

Cohen, however, didn't know anything about it.

His brows furrowed at the harrowing silence and he said, "Has something else happened?"

Britta's hands turned to fists in the fabric of her dress and I stood too. "We'll ask the staff to make breakfast," I said. "I'll see about having it ready in an hour or so. We can all talk then. You—You two should talk now."

I nodded to the door and Heidi and I headed that way. On her way out, Naida paused. She grabbed Cohen's arm with one hand and cupped his cheek with the other. Then, before he could react, she turned his face towards her and kissed him, soundly, before she headed for the door. His eyes were wide, his mouth slack with surprise as he watched her go.

She turned at the door and met his eyes, her words quiet as she said, "Please don't get shot again."

"Yeah..." A small smile tugged at his lips. "I'll—uh—I'll see what I can do."

To her credit, Heidi waited until we were out of earshot before she said, "Damn, Reese, way to take what you want. Cohen eats a few bullets and suddenly Nadia's an assertive little bitch. I like it."

Nadia shoved Heidi's shoulder hard enough to make her stumble sideways into me. I pushed her back the other way. My friend's face was right red as she said, "We're taking things slow."

Heidi nearly snorted. "Didn't seem like it. Not with a kiss like that. Damn, girl. Get a room. Hell, get a whole palace."

I rolled my eyes. "Heidi, don't act like you and Tavin haven't been kissing when you think no one is paying attention."

She narrowed her eyes at me. "What makes you say that?"

Nadia and I exchanged a look, all tension from our earlier conversation gone as she said, "Please, he follows you around like a lost puppy."

Heidi pursed her lips. "I liked it better when we were ganged up on Monroe."

"Doesn't feel nice when it's two against one, does it?" I said.

Nadia's voice grew quiet as we neared the entrance to the kitchens. "You know...You know that no matter what we may say about you and Kai, it doesn't change the fact that we love and care about you. It isn't—We—Monroe, I hope you know we aren't saying any of this because we hate you or because we want your heart to be broken. That's the last thing any of us want."

"I know," I said.

Heidi shrugged, her lips tugging into a small smile as she crooned, "I, for one, don't like either of you. I'm only putting up with you because I feel obligated to do so. Honestly, whatever happens with the two of you is your own fault. I can't help it that you both chose to be in love with royals. I, at least, have the good sense to be with someone unproblematic. Tavin comes with no issues. In times like these, that's reason enough to kiss him."

Nadia sidestepped Heidi and linked arms with me. "Remind me again why we keep her around?" she said.

I shrugged. "Because she'll eat us alive if we don't?"

Nadia let out a longsuffering sigh. "True."

***

Oh my gosh, two days of uploading in a row?! It's a goddess-blessed miracle.

If you enjoyed this chapter, leave this emoji 🌷 and go join TCC discord! I'll be live-streaming on the discord Sunday, April 11th at 2 pm (EST) to talk TCC and writing. Grab a cup of coffee, bring some questions, and write with me. You can find the discord invite link posted on my conversations wall!