The ballroom antechamber.
Oredison Palace, Gazda.
The Commencement Ball.

My life had become a constant string of oddly familiar scenes. Standing in the antechamber to the ballroom, I remembered being in this exact spot months ago. Back then, I'd been reeling after a midnight kiss with Cohen. Now, I stood with my back to the closed ballroom doors. A large table of finger foods separated me from Kinsley, Larkin, and a murderous looking Heidi.

I'd been offered dinner in my room earlier since there would only be appetizers and drinks at the ball, but I'd declined. I was too damn nervous to eat—but that wasn't stopping the other girls from grazing. Someone had made the unwise decision to let Kinsley and Larkin be together without real supervision. Two snakes left alone to combine venom. Lovely. I could almost smell the scheming coming from where they huddled together, a plate of tea sandwiches and little decorated cakes held between them.

Heidi's gaze slid to them too before she stepped towards the table and started making her own plate. "So," She said. Her green eyes were nearly the same shade as her gown. The color only worked to magnify her stare—and the obvious annoyance in it. "You gonna let the rest of us die so you can have your throne?" she said, her voice so soft that I could barely hear it.

I glanced at the guards standing watch nearby. They hadn't looked our way, they were too busy watching the princess and Kinsley, their eyes narrowed with warranted mistrust. I moved to the edge of the table and grabbed a plate too, pretending to peruse the food as I said, "You know I don't want the throne."

"Nadia says you do."

I grabbed what looked like some sort of cucumber sandwich. "Well then, Nadia misunderstood."

"Let's put it this way, Benson," Heidi hissed. "Nadia's never really struck me as the lying type. She isn't dishonest. On the other hand, we know for a damn fact you are a liar. You played Cohen like a fiddle during the first Culling; and, I'll admit, you did a pretty good job of playing the rest of us during the rebellion. But I'm not going to fall for your shit a third time."

I shook my head. "I've not lied to you, Heidi."

"You said you wanted to be my friend. You stood there, all self-righteous and girl-power, and told me that you'd never fight me in the arena. You said exactly what I'm sure he told you to say. Goddess, we were all so stupid." Her voice rose enough with that last statement to draw the attention of the guard nearest us.

I stepped back from the table. "I didn't lie to you," I said again. "I do want to be your friend. And I won't fight you in the arena."

She shook her head. "You're right. I'm sure I'll fight Kinsley. But don't you worry, I'll do the dirty work and kill Nadia first. And you—" she jabbed a finger in my direction, the faded scar on her face scrunching up in fury as she spat, "You'll get to keep your hands clean and do nothing. They'll hand you the crown like you earned it, but it'll be our blood you bought it with."

I blinked at her, unable to conjure words. The room had fallen silent, even Kinsley and Larkin had ceased their whispering. Behind me, the door to the antechamber creaked shut again. I turned to see Nadia and Kai standing in the doorway, both of them wide-eyed and staring. A guard stepped forward and took hold of my upper arm. Another approached Heidi and pulled her sideways, away from the table and away from me.

I barely registered it as the guard pushed me against the wall, I was too busy trying not to cry. I'd done really well, held myself together, and only allowed myself the smallest of moments to be upset. But just then, the weight of everything was too much and that burning fame and embarrassment in my chest caused an ache I couldn't deny anymore. I blinked away hot tears as a sob built in my throat.

I would not cry. Not here.

The guard let go of me, but he didn't retreat, he stayed close, his body blocking Heidi from sight. I saw Kai try to decide what to do. He wanted to go to me, I could see it in his face, but one firm shake of my head had him staying where he was. Kai would only make matters worse. He would only help prove Heidi's point.

I didn't understand how I could love someone and hate someone so much at the same time. It ate at me—these conflicting feelings. And, for once, I was thankful for tacet. Without it, I think I would have burned myself into nothingness. I almost wished for that.

My shoulders slumped and I sank deeper into the corner of the wall. Across the room from me, Larkin was smiling. But Kinsley wasn't.

She was just watching me, her gaze more of a question than anything else. I realized then that she didn't know what to believe. As much as she'd like to think I'd maneuvered my way into getting a crown, she knew me better than that—perhaps even better than Nadia or Heidi.

Kinsley knew I hadn't wanted the throne. It was one of the reasons she'd stopped messing with me. Before, during the first half of the Culling, she'd bullied me incessantly. We'd taunted each other. But that had stopped when I'd returned to the palace. It had stopped after Uri had died.

I think it was because Kinsley had been watching me when Kai arrived in the throne room that day. During what should have been Larkin's coronation and Larkin's execution. Kinsley had been witness to my surprise. But more than that, she'd seen the way I'd looked at Kai as I'd proclaimed him king to the world. I wasn't sure if the others had seen it. Had any of them really understood just how shocked I'd been?

So many of the rebels arrived as it was happening. The chaos and shock of the crowd had been enough that they may not have noticed my own surprise. But Kinsley—Even though she'd snuck away from the throne room that day, I knew she'd seen.

She may not like me, but she knew that what had happened at Sauenmyde had nothing to do with me wanting the throne. And, for some reason, her knowing gave me enough strength to stand up—to straighten my spine.

Heidi may believe me to be a liar, and sometimes she was right, but I hadn't lied about that. Kai was the one who had lied. He was the one who had purchased a throne with the blood of others.

Suddenly, I was shaking. Furious. Ready to rage.

Nadia moved, crossing the room before anyone could stop her. In a moment, she was standing beside me, those large doe eyes searching my face. I'd often wondered if Nadia could sense mental illnesses as well as she could the physical ones. With tacet in her system, she was unable to heal or help—but just as I could feel the slight tug of flame, the barest link to my ability, I believed she could still sense the hurt in me.

She turned to look at Heidi over her shoulder, her expression disapproving.

At Nadia's attention, Heidi lifted her chin, defiant. One of the guards still had a hand on her, obviously uncomfortable giving her free reign especially with the king now in the room. But, even restrained, Heidi was a force to be reckoned with. In her green dress, with her blonde hair slicked back into an intricate updo and her eyes framed in glittering jade and gold powder, she looked like a viper—ready to strike.

As she blinked, slow and steady, her gaze unflinching from Nadia's, I was forced to really consider what would happen in a fight between them. Heidi's ability was strong, sure, but Nadia was more than she let on. She had a fierceness that didn't require words or boasting. I wished, at that moment, that she had an ability to match it.

After a long second, Nadia spoke. "Don't be a bitch, Heidi."

Heidi's mouth dropped open, indignant.

My own mouth opened in surprise. I could count on one hand how many times I'd heard Nadia swear. Goddess, she really was pissed.

Before anyone could say anything in response, Nadia kept going. "We're on the same side. Caine would like nothing—nothing more than for us to forget that. But we can't. We're goddess-touched. We are the only other people who can understand what each other is going through. If you're mad, fine, be mad...but—but, for the love of the goddess, direct that anger at Caine." She shoved a finger towards the closed door. "He's the enemy. Stop letting him win." She looked between the two of us. "I have nine days until I possibly die and I'd just really appreciate it if my friends could stop—" she paused, flustered. "If—If you could stop hating each other. Just for a little while. Is it honestly too much to ask for?"

I shook my head. Heidi pursed her lips, still angry, but the fire in her eyes died out.

Across the room from me, Larkin laughed, loudly. The silence in the room was broken further by the sound of her clapping, slow and steady. "Wow, what a speech."

Kai shot her a look but he said nothing. Kinsley, however, elbowed her. At the subtle jab, Larkin stopped laughing, her taunting expression turning to one of surprise as Kinsley met her eyes.

Her voice was soft, full of more pleading and fear than I'd anticipated as Kinsley said, "Don't."

Larkin's face fell at the admonishment and she stepped back, shaking her head in exasperation. Kinsley didn't retreat into the corner with her, she just set her plate of food down on one of the side tables and wrapped her arms around herself. This was so different from her regular body language that it was almost like looking at a separate person, the haughtiness and the anger were gone. It reminded me a little of how she'd been on the train with Cohen and me before Sauenmyde.

She'd been scared then too.

For a moment, Nadia held her gaze. I don't know what passed between them or what conversations they'd had in the last few weeks, but something was certainly different. When Nadia turned back to look at Heidi and me, she seemed a little more deflated. "We're on the same side," she said again.

"You're right," I said. "I'm sorry."

She nodded and glanced at Heidi, her brow furrowing with concern as she muttered a quiet, "I'm sorry for calling you a bitch."

Heidi shrugged, a small smile playing on her lips as she said, "I'd take the verbal abuse again just to see the look on Monroe's face when you swore."

I couldn't help the small laugh that escaped me. The tension in the room dwindled slightly. Nadia shook her head, her expression turning sheepish as she said, "Well, um, you were being a bitch. I just shouldn't have said it."

Heidi sidestepped the guard next to her and moved to grab her plate from where she'd abandoned it on the table. "Careful, Reese, or we'll have to get you a swear jar."

Nadia sighed and tugged at the skirt of her gown. It was butter yellow and the bodice dipped low, almost scandalously so. It revealed more of Nadia's warm brown skin than I'd ever seen. Underneath her too-big tunics and thick woven sweaters, she was curvier than I'd realized. Her figure was on full display in that gown and, as Cohen stepped into the room, I saw him notice this too.

He had no idea we'd just gotten a scolding, but he wasn't stupid and had always been good at reading the room. As the door shut behind him, he tore his gaze away from Nadia and glanced at Kai.

Standing side by side and with both of them dressed in black suits and midnight blue ties, it was clear they were related. Not so much that you would know if you weren't looking for it, but they did share features. They were both tall and built similarly, although Kai did have an inch or so on Cohen. They also had similar facial features, but enough of their mother's in them to disguise it. For instance, Kai's skin was golden and he had black curls, traits he'd gotten from his Vaylish mother. Cohen, on the other hand, had his mother's pale skin and blue eyes, but his father's dirty blond hair.

I'd spent a lot of time after I'd learned who Kai was trying to understand how I'd missed it. How had I, someone who had been close to both princes, not realized they were brothers? Eventually, I'd had to give myself some grace.

I hadn't known to look. Why would I? Why would I think Kai was the bastard son of a king when he'd lied about his parentage? He'd led me to believe his father was a mystery. Some fisherman his mother had met once.

That familiar anger boiled in me again, but I pushed it down as the door to the antechamber opened and Caine walked in. Cohen quickly stepped aside to get out of the way, nearly bumping into Kai in the process. Even though there was a good deal of animosity between the two of them, judging by the look they both gave Caine, it was clear that in this case, the enemy of their enemy was their friend.

"Oh, good," Caine said. "Everyone's here. Splendid." He slid his gaze around the room, taking us all in. When he got to me, his smile turned feral. "Nice to see everyone all cleaned up for a change."

"I'm sorry," Heidi said. "It's hard to look glamourous when you're living in a cell and taking a shit in a bucket."

Nadia made a sound at the back of her throat, a little stifled laugh.

Heidi looked at her. "Hey! I'm playing by your rules. You didn't say he was off limits."

"Oh no," she said in response, "fire away."

Caine only sighed, his mouth pulling into a grave line as he said, "Keep mouthing off, Miss Larson, and I'll make sure you end up back with your bucket as soon as possible."

Heidi's eyes were like ice as she crooned, "Give me back my ability, you self-centered bastard, and then try it."

Kai laughed but sobered when Caine shot him a glare. The king only shrugged in response and muttered, "What a pleasant evening this is turning out to be. And here I was, thinking the only entertainment would be dancing."

He wasn't wearing a crown tonight and I was grateful. Without it, I could almost pretend he wasn't the king. Looking at him just then, seeing the humor in his golden eyes and the quirk of his lips, I was reminded of all the times he'd poked fun at me—making droll comments about how I was bad at following orders. A pang of regret and anger and longing hit me so hard that I had to look away from him.

Caine broke through my thoughts. "We're already running behind schedule. I don't have time for your commentary." He stepped into the center of the room.

With him standing between all of us, I was struck with the desire to attack. It would be so easy to kill him. We outnumbered him, even with the guards. As I met Heidi's gaze from across the table, I knew she was thinking the same thing. But Nadia, like always, was our common sense. She gripped my wrist tightly, her brown eyes pleading.

Third Corps.

If something happened to Caine, they'd be dead.

Heidi seemed to comprehend this at the same time I did. At the realization, she looked up at the ceiling, like she was casting an exasperated prayer towards the goddess. I sighed heavily and leaned into the wall behind me. Nadia let go of my wrist.

Meanwhile, Caine was still speaking, unaware of our silent conversation.

"—If I have to step in and deal with any of you, it will be bad news for your friends still in the prisons. You will be on your best behavior. If the press speaks to you, you will smile and you will decline to answer." He turned in a slow circle, eyeing each of us in turn. "When you are announced into the ballroom, you will smile and pose for your picture with the king. He will begin the evening festivities with a toast and then you will each take turns dancing with him. You will remain in the ballroom at all times. If you need to leave for any reason, you will ask my permission and you will be escorted by either myself or a guard. Is that understood?"

We all nodded.

Caine turned on Cohen. "You," he said, "will stay out of the way." Cohen shifted uncomfortably next to Kai, clearly wanting to say something in response, but he nodded all the same. Caine's eyes drifted to where Larkin stood in the corner of the room. "Same goes for you. You should both be seen, but not overly seen. This evening is not about you. I don't want to notice you. I don't want to have to even think about you." Larkin smirked, but the expression fell flat as Caine looked to Kinsley and said, "Your father is excited to see you this evening. I told him you'd reserve a dance for him."

Kinsley nodded quickly and muttered a quick, "Of course."

Beyond the large wooden doors, an orchestra had started to play. Caine took a moment to shoot daggers at us one more time before he gestured to Kai and headed for the door. Kai followed after him a heartbeat later, but not before he'd cast me a worried glance. This time, I met his eyes.

He nodded to me, just once. Reassurance shone in his gaze. The same unwavering confidence that he'd always offered me. I craved it. I wanted to reach out and take it.

Caine opened the door and stepped out onto the raised platform beyond, the crack in the door revealed a crowded ballroom full of glittering gowns and balconies full of watching people. Just like with the first Commencement Ball, they'd sold tickets so civilians could watch. Parts of it would be broadcasted too. The large cameras set up in different corners of the massive room highlighted reporters already speaking to their at-home audiences. I wondered if Harper Vance would be amongst them.

Caine paused, the door still held open, and turned back to look for Kai. But the king hadn't followed his uncle. He still stood at the door to the antechamber, his hand on the edge of it, his gaze still locked with mine.

Caine looked at me too. At the feel of his eyes, I looked away from Kai and moved to stand closer to Cohen. My friend stepped forward automatically, putting himself between Caine and me. Even if Cohen didn't fully understand what had happened at dinner last night, he knew that Caine's intentions weren't good.

At the action, Kai glanced between Cohen and me. The look was so quick I nearly missed it. I'd expected jealousy to show there, but it was absent. Instead, that flash of emotion was full of relief and—to my surprise—trust. It was only then, with Cohen next to me, that Kai turned and followed his uncle from the room.

After they were gone, we were herded into a line. Cohen and Larkin were at the front and would walk down the staircase and into the ballroom together. After that, we were in alphabetical order by our surnames. That put me directly behind the prince and princess.

As we organized ourselves, I could hear someone announcing Kai.

I imagined him entering the ballroom. He'd smile, but it wouldn't be real. This smile wouldn't be the sort he gave me. It wouldn't be the one that I'd earned after each lit fire, after every well-executed combat maneuver, after every kiss. I think it'd be obvious he was faking it too. Kai just wasn't as good at wearing the royal mask as Cohen was.

Maybe I should have seen that as a problem.

I didn't.

A moment later, the music died down and I could hear Kai saying something, probably the toast Caine had scripted for him. When he was finished, the crowd applauded.

Then it was our turn.

***

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