"Hey!" I said, announcing myself to the household.

"In the kitchen!" Rick shouted back.

I walked into the room to see Rick feeding Judith applesauce in her highchair. The sunlight illuminated her blonde hair. A handful little teeth were shown as she smiled at me.

"Hey, sweetie." I bent down and placed a big smooch on the top of her head. She giggled and swung her arms up and down.

"What are you up to?" Rick stuck another spoonful in his daughter's mouth.

"Just wanted to catch up before you went on that two-week run," I teased. Rick smirked and shook his head.

The truth was, these past few days we had taken turns spending the night in each other's rooms then sneaking out before anyone was awake. Last night, Rick stayed with me. We briefly talked because Rick needed as much sleep as he could get before he left.

"I actually needed to give you somethin'," I told him, reaching into my pocket. I pulled out a folded piece of paper and handed it to him. "I didn't know if you planned on doin' anything special for Carl's 16th, but I thought we could throw him a party. We need a few things for it though."

Rick raised an eyebrow at me. "I don't think he'll like a party. Not really his thing."

"He'll act like he hates it, but I know he'll secretly enjoy himself. After losin' his eye and all he's been through, he should be able to get somethin' every normal 16-year-old did before."

Rick tapped the paper against his palm and stuck it in his jeans. "As long as you plan it, I'll get the supplies. I've never been good at that stuff."

"You can't be good at everythin', Grimes. Besides, I used to be a teacher; All I did was plan things for teenagers. I'm an expert at figuring out what they'll like."

"Yeah, that's where you lose me." Rick closed the applesauce and put it back in the fridge. "You mind babysittin' her for a while? Carol said she'd take her around 6."

"It's not babysittin' to me. Judy's family, so of course I'll watch over her," I said.

Rick gave a satisfied nod. "I better get goin'," he spoke. He kissed Judith on the cheek. "I'll see you soon, hon." 

The man glanced around before approaching me. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders. He placed one hand on my head and held me close to his chest. I grabbed his torso while listening closely to his heartbeat. I didn't know how I was going to fall asleep without this sound when he was gone.

Rick pulled away slightly so we were able to look at each other. "I know we just started this and now I'm leavin' you for two weeks, but I want you to know I'll be thinkin' about you every day. I already miss you."

"I already miss you too," I blushed. "Stay out of trouble, cowboy. Come back in one piece."

Rick chuckled. "No promises."

He then leaned down and kissed me. It wasn't a 'this might be the last time we ever see each other' kiss. It was more like a 'see you later' kiss which made me feel a lot better about the situation. Wherever Rick seemed to go, he always ended up being shot at, stabbed, or trapped.

He stood up straight before his eyes wandered behind me out into the living room. His shoulders sagged. "Hey, Michonne. I didn't hear you."

I scrambled away from Rick. I felt like was 17 and my parents had just caught me kissing the boy I wasn't supposed to be seen with.

"Hellooo," Michonne greeted, drawing out the 'o'. A huge grin was spread across her face. She tightened the bathrobe around her waist. "Sorry to interrupt but I wanted to ask if you'd grab me some spearmint and baking soda toothpaste while you're out."

Rick cleared his throat. "Yeah, I'll keep an eye out." He headed for the door. "I'll see you both in a couple of weeks." He shot me a smile and wave before leaving.

I slowly turned to Michonne who had her hands on her hips and an inquisitive look on her face. "How long has that been happening?"

I sighed before taking a seat on a stool next to the kitchen island. "Not long," I responded. "Almost a week. It's very new."

"Well, it's about time."

"Huh?"

Michonne moved closer and sat next to me. She rested her chin on her hand. "Jo, the way you look at him, the way he looks at you, it's undeniable. Sometimes I can literally feel the heat between you two."

"Really?" I pried.

"Yes, really. I think the first time I saw it was when you got taken. As soon as Rick heard, it took a lot of convincing to get him to think of a rational plan. He was ready to head out there blindly, completely on his own." Michonne took my hands in hers. "I'm happy for you. You two deserve this, more than anybody."

"Thank you, Michonne."

"Of course." The woman began walking away to finish getting ready. She paused. "By the way, your secret's safe with me. But, I wouldn't worry about keeping it hidden, even if it is new to you both."

I wasn't entirely sure why it was a secret. Rick and I hadn't established what we were, but it was clear to me that we were together. I guess I just figured that it was better to keep it in the dark to avoid questions. There was also the problem that was Carl. He had lost his mom only two years ago, so there was no telling how he'd react to me entering the picture.

I decided to have the dreaded feelings conversation when Rick got back. At least by then I'd have time to think everything through.

___

I zipped my jacket as I walked home to combat the cool breeze that brushed against my skin. Carol had just come over to watch Judith so I was free to do whatever I pleased for the night.

Before I could step onto my porch, Tate came running up to me. He was out of breath and looked frantic. His dark hair fell over his eyes.

I hadn't seen or spoken to Tate since I told him to move out and leave my sisters alone. It honestly surprised me he had actually listened to my demands. He had caused no trouble and had been pretty respectful.

"What do you want, Tate?" I scowled.

"It's... it's Carl," he explained. "He went outside the walls. I heard a scream and gunshots."

My heart began racing. "Wait here." I ran inside and grabbed my revolver. Blair and Dakota tried asking me what was wrong but I didn't have time to answer. I returned to Tate and said, "Show me where."

The two of us sprinted through Alexandria. The guards were in the process of changing shifts so we let ourselves through the gate without having to tell them why. Tate led me through the woods while explaining he wasn't sure of the exact area, but he was sure he heard him southwest somewhere.

As I passed a tree, I noticed blood and a piece of clothing on the bark. "Wait!" I grabbed the fabric. It was from one of Carl's shirts. The blood was wet on my fingers. It was fresh. "He's close."

Tate pointed to the ground. "There's some footprints here. Multiple sets. Looks like he was running from at least three roamers. We need to hurry."

We continued running while still searching for any signs of a struggle. It was getting dark, so we had very little time to find him.

"Stay strong, kid," I whispered to myself. I couldn't let him die. No matter what it took, I would bring him back to Alexandria.

"There's something ahead!"

Tate and I came upon a mound of dirt. Next to it was a rectangular hole about three feet deep.

A grave.

"What the hell is this?" I asked, stepping forward to peer down into the earth. A thought popped into my head that Carl was inside. I imagined his body limp and bloody. Luckily, that wasn't the case. It was empty.

"It's for you," growled Tate.

Just as I was about to turn and point my gun in his face, I felt metal smack the side of my head. I fell to the ground next to the hole with a hard thump. Black orbs filled my vision. I attempted to blink them away, to stand up, but it was no use. I had no control of my body and my consciousness was slowly slipping away into the ether.

___

Thunk.

Thunk.

Thunk.

My head throbbed as I suddenly became aware I was out of the vast darkness of my mind.

Thunk.

My eyes fluttered open. The first sight to enter my still blurry vision was the moon surrounded by twinkling stars.

Thunk.

I reached up and felt my temple. It was wet and sticky.

Thunk.

I heard the sound of a shotgun cocking. Illuminated by a dim lantern, Tate stood above me with the barrel pointing directly at my face. A shovel was propped in the pile of dirt next to him.

"About time you woke up, bitch," he sneered.

Everything came into focus at once.

I was lying in the grave. There was a thick layer of dirt covering my legs and torso, enough to weigh me down. I tried to sit up, but my body was too weak to fight against the pressure. Tate's finger twitched on the trigger with each subtle movement.

"You're not allowed to die just yet."

"Fuck—you," I wheezed. It hurt to breathe, much less talk.

"Shut up!" screamed Tate as he shoved the shotgun closer. "Listen! You have to listen to me!"

I closed my mouth, my head racing with any semblance of a plan. Nothing appeared. In every scenario, I got shot point blank. The dirt rolled off my trembling frame.

Will's brother began pacing. I hadn't noticed before, but his eyes were bloodshot, his knuckles were scabbed over, and he had a bandage taped to his bicep. He was disheveled, unhinged.

"When you told me to leave, I thought you were just playing hard to get," Tate started, "and putting on an act to get Rick off our back. He's always been jealous. You should have seen how mad he got when I kissed you for the first time. But then you avoided me. You stopped talking to me and acted like I never existed."

He stopped pacing. "I was patient. I was giving you your space to get over Dakota. I know you're sensitive like that." He pointed the shotgun at me to emphasize his point. "Anyways, I was watching you still, making sure you were okay even from a distance. Even when you were crying in your room I stayed back because I care about your wishes."

Tate's face turned red and he started pacing again. He hit his head with a closed fist harder and harder with each swing.

"But then you decided to be a little whore and betray me" he spat. I flinched as the gun pointed at my vital organs. "I saw you fucking Spencer. You know, I thought you were saving yourself for me. Don't get me wrong, I know you fucked my brother, but I was ready to show you what a real man was. That I was the superior one. But you just couldn't help yourself. Then! You fucked that piece of shit Rick Grimes. The man who has completely ruined my life. He killed my best fucking friend for God's sake! How insensitive can you be?"

Tate set down the shotgun and picked up the shovel. Tears streamed down my face and watered the soil below me.

This was how it ended. I was being put to death by a man who tormented me with my late husband's face.

I always thought my death would mean something. Even before, I was determined to become a successful author so I could spend the money on those who needed it more than me. I'd live a quiet life making a difference teaching, then donate behind the scenes. When I died, people would remember me for what I did for others. In the world now, I imagine myself going down in a blaze of glory. I'd give up my life so my family could get away with theirs. I would have been happy with that. But being buried alive by a ghost of my past was the worst way to leave.

"I loved you, Jolene. I had a ring and I was going to propose as soon as you came to your senses. But you had to go and ruin it all!" He dug in his pocket before throwing a golden ring on top of me. "I know now that you don't love me and you're like every other female in this world. You're worthless. You don't deserve to occupy space anymore. All you deserve is to rot in the ground and be forgotten."

A sudden surge of bravery coursed through me. "What are you goin' to tell my sisters? They won't forget me."

Tate laughed. "Do you honestly think I'm that stupid? I'll tell them and everyone else that you insisted on going outside the walls. You wanted to find Carl a birthday present but I wouldn't let you go alone. I'll tell them we got overrun—that I tried to save you—but you got bit and sacrificed yourself for me."

"They won't believe you."

"They will because there will be no body for them to find. It will be my word against—well—mine. Blair and Dakota will be sad. But I'll be there for them. I'll lessen the load.  And soon, Blair will become my wife. I've always liked her more."

"Don't you dare touch her!" I yelled with all my might, my head pounding.

He squatted down, an evil smirk taking over his mouth. "Well, the thing is, Jolene, you're not going to be there to stop me." He stood and breathed deeply. "I know you used to be Catholic, so I thought it would be best to read you your last rites." He pulled out a ripped and crumbled piece of lined paper. "Lord Jesus, holy and compassionate: forgive her sins. By dying you unlocked the gates of life for those who believe in you: do not let our sister be parted from you, but by your glorious power give her light, joy, and peace in heaven where you live and reign forever and ever. Amen."

The paper crunched in his fist. He tossed it on my legs before he threw a shovel full of dirt on my stomach.

"Stop!" I begged. "Please! I do love you. I was blinded by Rick. He forced me to sleep with him. Spencer too. It's always been you, Tate. I swear!" My breath hitched in my throat. "Even when I was with Will, I knew you were the one I was supposed to be with."

"Liar," he seethed.

Thunk.

"Please!"

Thunk.

"I'll do anything! Please! I love you."

Thunk.

Dirt filled my mouth. I spit desperately as I tried to free my airway.

"I'm goin' to fucking kill you! I'm goin' to kill you, Tate!"

He didn't respond and earth continued filling my grave. I covered my face with my arms.

The last thing to occupy my perception was the Reaper with his bony hand on Tate's shoulder. His face was a black void of nothingness, but I could still hear his taunting cackle fill my ears.

My breathing was shallow and labored, but I was able to keep a small pocket of air available because my thick jacket blocked the soil from getting to my mouth. The thunk was gone. No more pressure was being put on me.

The thought crossed my mind to just give up. To let the Reaper finally take me. But then I thought of my family.

Blair. Dakota. Maggie. Glenn. Daryl. Michonne. Sasha. Rosita. Abraham. Carol. Tara. Eugene. Gabriel. Judith. Carl. Rick.

Their faces flickered in my brain like a silent film. Each scene was filled with joy, laughter, and utter bliss.

I held my breath and clawed at the dirt above me.

I needed to see Dakota smile again.

I pulled myself up an inch.

'I got you, keep goin',' Rick's voice echoed.

Push, pull, push, pull, push, pull.

I needed to watch Judith grow up.

I was close, I could feel it.

I needed to grow old with Rick.

Dirt lodged itself under my fingernails. My lungs twisted.

I needed to live.

My hand burst through the surface. I felt the frigid fall air on my fingers. I did it. I actually did it.

Then, I felt soft skin. It gripped me and yanked my body upwards. It was like being reborn again as I emerged from what was supposed to be my final resting place. I couldn't see, but I knew I was being dragged across the grass.

I gasped as oxygen circulated throughout my system. Frantically, I wiped the dirt from my eyes and scraped it from my tongue. I began hyperventilating thinking Tate had changed his mind and decided to torture me further.

"Jo! Jo! Are you okay?"

That wasn't Tate.

Glenn.

I wiped away the last of the soil and finally opened my eyes. Glenn and Carl pointed flashlights at my feet. They looked almost as terrified as I felt. Carl had streams of partially dried tears on his cheeks.

Carl crashed to his knees and engulfed me in his embrace. "Oh my God, Jo. I thought were dead," he cried. In an instant, he had transformed back into a scared little kid.

I held him weakly. "Can't get rid of me that easily," I said, my voice rough and strained. "I'm here, baby. I'm here."

"Who did this to you?" questioned Glenn. He squatted and brushed the rest of my face clean. "You're going to need stitches."

My vision turned red. "Tate."

"That son of a bitch."

"How'd you find me?"

Carl's big blue eye found my green ones. "I was out with Enid. We saw you running with Tate. I... I had a bad feeling."

"Thank you, kid. Thank you. You saved me." I clutched Carl again, a single sob leaving my throat. "I need to get back to Alexandria. Now."

I tried to stand, but my legs wobbled and I fell to the ground.

"Take it easy," Glenn pleaded with a comforting touch. "Take a minute."

"I can't!" I shouted. "He's fucking crazy! He left me in that hole to suffocate and he's not goin' to stop. He's goin' after Blair. Help me up!"

Both Carl and Glenn grabbed my arms and lifted me to my feet. They held me there for a few seconds before I was able to stand on my own.

"Okay, okay. I'm fine. Let's go."

As we ran, I felt waves of lightheadedness, but I fought through them. I had survived the impossible, I couldn't stop now. I was going to kill Tate if it was the last thing I did.

"Open the gate!" Glenn yelled. "Open the gate!"

Our strides didn't stop as we shot through the opening.

"Jo?!" Sasha exclaimed. Her brown eyes widened in shock. "Wha--how?"

I ignored her question. "Where'd Tate go?"

"He--he went to your house. He said you were dead. He's telling your sisters you're dead."

"Carl," I said, turning to him. "Give me your gun."

The kid handed it to me with a nod of approval. He knew what I was planning and there was no judgment on his face.

I walked down the street, Glenn and Carl trailing behind me. A few surprised stares and whispers were directed my way. I didn't blame them, after all, I was supposed to be dead. But here I was, breathing, covered in dirt, blood, and sweat.

In front of my home, Dakota sat on the curb. Her body was shaking and her head was hidden in her knees. I heard Blair's wails as she clung to Tate on the lawn.

"Get away from her, Tate," I commanded. "Now!"

Dakota's head shot up, she smiled through her tears.

Blair's eyes darted from me then back to Tate. "Jo? I... I don't understand."

Tate slowly turned, the blood draining from his face. He looked completely void of any spirit; like his soul had already left his mortal form. I was Madeline and he was Roderick Usher. I had come back from the dead to torment him and to drain the life from his body.

"Oh my God, Jolene. I thought the roamers got you. I can't believe you got away! Thank God!" Tate said, a fabricated happiness behind his words.

He tried approaching me, to hug me to continue his performance, but I pointed the pistol at him, stopping him in his tracks. "Shut up!" I mocked the man. "It's your turn to listen." I pointed to a spot on the street. "Get on your knees."

Tate adhered to my demands. His nostrils flared and his pupils dilated. He glared at me as he slowly lowered to the ground.

"Glenn, pat him down. He has my Ruger Blackhawk on him."

As Glenn's hands ran across him, Tate continued to stare with a taunting smile on his face. He paid no attention to the deadly weapon pointed at his forehead. Glenn got the gun out of his waistband and backed away.

I hadn't noticed, but a sizeable crowd gathered around me. Morgan came into my view with his stick in hand.

"What's goin' on here?" he asked, breaking through the congregation.

"An execution," I said, spitting venom.

"Jolene, tell me what happened."

"You should know. You all should know what kind of man you've livin' with." I scanned the anticipatory eyes. Seeing my family here with me made my confidence grow. "He tried to kill me. He lured me into the woods, hit me over the head with a shovel, and buried me alive. He wanted me to suffer while he came back here and lied to you all."

"It's horrible what he's done, but you don't have to do this," implored Morgan. "We can lock him up. I'll watch him. We can come back from this."

"Are you fucking serious? Lock him up? Do you honestly think he can change?"

"Anyone can change."

I laughed. "He can't. He won't." I clicked off the safety and sent a bullet through Tate's arm. He cried out in pain before grabbing at his wound. He crumbled to the ground as blood spurted from the opening in his flesh. "Get up! Get. up."

Tate hyperventilated as he got back on his knees. His entire left sleeve was red.

"Jolene! Think about what you're doin'! You're putting an unarmed man to death."

"Did he care that I was unarmed when he shoveled dirt over me? When I begged for mercy?"

"You're not him."

"No, I'm not. What I'm doin' is a lot more humane." I smirked watching Tate shake from the stinging pain. "Let me finish tellin' you what kind of man he is. While I was in that hole, he told me he had been watchin' me. Stalking me. He's been doin' that ever since I came here. I wouldn't be surprised if I wasn't the first. He became obsessed with me and convinced himself that I was his. When I didn't want him, he decided to kill me so no one else could have me. Like I'm just some object for him to play with and throw away when he's done."

I looked over to Blair who was holding Dakota. They were listening to each word I said intently. "Blair was goin' to be next. He was goin' to use my death as a way to manipulate her into bein' with him. When she didn't love him back, he probably would have buried her right next to me."

Morgan tried to move closer so I aimed the pistol at him. "Tate won't change because this is who he is now. The new world shaped him into this monster. And we both know unless this world changes back to what it was, he'll continue to take advantage. That's just who he is. Deep down this is who he had always been. There's no changin' that, Morgan."

"This still isn't right."

"I'm done talkin' to you," I concluded. "It's time to finish this."

As I was about to point the gun at Tate, Morgan swung his pole and knocked it out of my hand. In the second it took me to fully realize what he had done, Tate grabbed the weapon. He used his uninjured arm to hold my chest and press my back against him. He held the gun to my gash, pressing it in firmly.

"Here's what's going to happen," Tate said, slowly backing up and taking me with him. "I'm goin' to take a car and leave. Morgan, you're going to open the gate. If anyone tries to stop me, I'll blow her brains out. That clear?"

"No one needs to get hurt. You can go," Morgan told him.

Tate dragged me to the gate. "You couldn't have just died. All of this would have gone so much easier."

"Sorry to ruin your plans," I said sarcastically.

He opened the driver's door. "Get in. Don't start it yet."

I did as he said. In the rearview mirror, I saw everyone watching and waiting for something to go wrong.

Tate got in the passenger seat. The pistol remained on me. Morgan slid open the gate, giving me a sorry look. "Drive."

I turned the key in the ignition and pulled forward. "What's your big idea now, huh? You gonna put me back in my grave, finish the job?"

He didn't respond for about three minutes but it felt like an hour. I anxiously waited for him to do or say anything.

"Turn right up here." His grip on the gun faltered.

"You're goin' to bleed out soon. No matter what, you're goin' to die, Tate. You're probably startin' to feel lightheaded. Your vision is blurry and it's gettin' hard to keep your leverage pointed at me too. Am I right? It's only a matter of time."

"Shut the fuck up!" he screamed. "Stop the car!" I slammed on the brakes. Tate got out of the vehicle and walked over to my side. "Get out!"

I held up my hands as I stepped out. A lump formed in my throat. I expected him to shoot me down and kill me right at that moment, but instead, he got behind the wheel and sped away.

I stood there in a daze.

Why would he leave me alive? The only explanation I could come up with was that the blood loss got to his head and he was in survival mode. Maybe my words did get under his skin and he realized he needed to patch himself up as quickly as possible if he wanted to live.

In complete darkness, I walked a few yards back in the direction I came before another vehicle came over the horizon, speeding toward me. It came to a screeching stop in the middle of the road. Burned rubber wafted in the air.

Rick and Carl rushed out. A wave of relief washed over me.

"You're here," I breathed as Rick grabbed my upper arms and looked me over.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "Did he hurt you again?"

I shook my head. "No, no, I'm fine. Rick, he-"

"I know, Carl told me. Where'd he go?"

I pointed down the street. "He's gone. It's too late now."

Rick hugged me. "I'm sorry I wasn't there. I should've protected you. If I had just driven a little faster-"

"You didn't know. There's no way you could have. But your son, he found me. He saved me."

Rick looked at Carl with surprised eyes. "You did?"

He shrugged. "You would've made it back without me. I know you would have because you're you. I just sped up the process."

"Give yourself some credit, kid," I insisted. "You did a lot more for me than you realize just by bein' at my side and watchin' over me. Come here."

I held the Grimes boys in my arms and was finally able to relax. They felt like home.

"What happened to two weeks?" I asked Rick.

"It's a long story. I'll explain on the way back," he said.

Before I got in the vehicle, I stared down the road.

Someday, somehow, I was going to find Tate. When I did, I wouldn't give him the chance to run. He'd be dead before he even got the opportunity to utter a single word. Only then would it be over. Only then could I rest easy.