TW: Mentions of rape and assault.

Rick spread out his shirt on the grass. He kissed me as he slowly lowered me to the ground onto the soft fabric.

He hovered above me, leaving a trail of kisses from my cheek to my neck. I let out a breathy moan while digging my nails into his back. Butterflies filled my stomach as his kisses went lower and lower. My breathing became heavier when his lips found the inside of my thighs.

I didn't feel his touch for a few seconds, so I opened my eyes and propped myself on my elbows. Rick was looking down at my legs, his eyebrows upturned. I followed his gaze to a deep, jagged scar on the highest part of my upper thigh. It was one of the worst I had.

"The Govorner's men, they did this to you?" Rick asked, his voice angry but deeply upset.

"Yes," I said. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Did they-"

"Did they rape me?"

I sat up completely. Rick went upright on his knees. His chest stopped moving as he awaited my answer. The sound of the waves crashing against the docks filled my ears.

I shook my head. "No. They didn't."

Flashes of blood and my screams filled my mind. I squeezed my eyes shut and brought my knees to my chest. I felt Rick's arm go around my back and rest on my hip.

"You don't have to talk about it," he whispered, his thumb rubbing my skin.

"I do though. I've been pushin' all this shit down for too long. I thought if I didn't talk about it or acknowledge it, it would go away. I've done it with Will's death, this, and my feelings for you. I'm just done with hidin'."

"Talk to me, I'll listen."

I took in a deep, ragged breath as I peered through blurry eyes at the beautiful scenery in front of me. "I was livin' in that farmhouse I took you to after losing my sisters, Will, and another group I was with. When I first found it, Poe was just standin' outside the stable lookin' at me. He was one of the most gorgeous things I had seen in so long. There was this instant connection between us. It's like he could sense I needed him and that he needed me too. He didn't run or buck when I first rode him. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here."

I sighed before continuing, "It was just the two of us for a while. Then one night those men broke in while I was sleepin'. They put a gun to my head and tied me up. The Governor had sent them on a mission to find other camps, kill their people, and take their things. At first, they tried intimidatin' me into telling them where my people were. I tried tellin' 'em I was alone, but they couldn't fathom the idea of a woman bein' able to survive on her own. So, when I didn't them anything, they started torturing me. After all, they couldn't come back empty-handed to that man."

"They-" I hesitated, wringing my hands.

"It's okay," Rick reassured me.

"They took off my clothes and left cuts all over my body. Then, they'd patch me up so I wouldn't bleed out and do it again, sometimes in the same spots. They laughed, took pictures of my naked body, and threatened to rape me if I didn't give up where my camp was. The next night, they got so drunk they passed out on the floor and forgot to tighten my restraints. I got loose, got dressed, got some supplies, and was about to kill those assholes when one of the Governor's trucks pulled up. They honked the horn and one of 'em started wakin' up, so I had to run. I got on Poe and didn't look back. But they left me with constant reminders of what they did to me. Helen and her assholes did the same thing. It's like the universe wants me to be broken."

Rick pulled me into him, his grasp tightening on my hip. "I'm so sorry, Jo."

"I just wish I would've made them suffer. They got off too easy."

"Trust me, I wish you could've too. But they're dead and you're still here," he said. "You have Alexandria. You have a family, your sisters, and me. Most importantly you're alive and happy. I think that's payback enough. They didn't get you, you got them. They're rottin' in hell while you get to live."

"It just feels like they still have this hold over me," I explained. "I thought after I killed them, it would be gone. Obviously not."

"It will be. You've already done the hardest part. And, if you ever need to talk about it again, I'm here."

I leaned my head on Rick's shoulder. "Thank you. Sorry for ruinin' the moment."

He kissed my forehead. "You didn't ruin anything. There's nothin' I wouldn't do for you, Jo."

I smiled. My head felt a little lighter and my heart was beaming.

Not only could I not believe I finally told someone how I got my scars, but I was telling Rick Grimes. And he was holding me, kissing me. It felt like a dream.

"You up to walk to the school?" Rick asked.

"Yeah, let's get goin'," I answered truthfully. This was the best I had felt in years.

Rick gently pulled me to my feet. We then collected and put on our clothes and weapons. I didn't like seeing him fully clothed, but he still made my knees weak in his jeans and button-up.

___

Rick and I walked north for a few miles before we got out of the forest and back on the road. We didn't talk about much, just enjoyed each other's company. It was nice to exist in the silence with him. We didn't get many moments of complete peace.

I watched Rick as he stared forward. I memorized his blue eyes, his jawline, the way his lips parted slightly. Even now, I had that nagging feeling inside that he would be ripped away from me.

"Get down," Rick instructed through his teeth.

He bolted into the trees, I was right in his heels. He skidded on the dirt and came to a stop behind a bush. We squatted behind it. I almost reached for my revolver before I remembered it was empty. Instead, I gripped the handle of the bowie knife.

"What'd you see?" I whispered.

Rick pressed his fingers to his lips. I listened closely and heard the rumble of an engine and the gravel crunching underneath tires. The car slowly came to a stop. Whoever was in it had seen us.

Rick gave me a nod, asking me if I was ready to fight. I nodded back.

"You two are horrible at hide and seek," a voice called out with amusement behind it.

I rolled my eyes as Rick let out a sigh of relief.

We stood to see Glenn grinning back at us. Daryl waved from inside the car.

My friend rushed forward and embraced me. I laughed as he lifted me up and spun me around.

"I'm so glad you're okay," Glenn said when he set me on solid ground.

I cupped his cheeks in my hands. "Me too."

"Come on." He placed his hand on my upper back. "We gotta show you guys something."Glenn led us over to the trunk. He popped it open and revealed two medium-sized boxes full of assorted ammo and at least ten guns of various sizes and calibers. "Whoever got in there before us was in a rush so they left a lot behind. We got lucky."

Rick bobbed his head. "This is good. Really good."

Daryl honked the horn before shouting, "Let's get home."

"Hold your horses!" I yelled back. "We're comin'!" I sifted through a box, found the right ammunition, loaded my gun, and threw the case back in the trunk "Okay, ready."

"I can sit in back with Jo," Glenn offered, reaching for the handle.

"Nah," Rick said. "You can take shotgun."

Confusion ran across Glenn's face. He didn't argue, he only shrugged and got in the front of the car.

Before I could even try getting in myself, Rick stepped in front of me and opened the door. I blushed. "Thanks."

"Of course."

Daryl drove away while the sun was setting.

"What'd you two do while we were gone?" Daryl questioned, looking back at us through the review mirror. My eyes widened thinking he had somehow figured out what happened between Rick and me. "You smell like musty fish."

"Jo wanted to go swimmin'," Rick told him. "So we did."

"You two went swimmin'? Together?"

"No, we went in the lake separately," I said sarcastically. "Made sure the other didn't drown."

I saw a small smile emerge on Daryl's face. A devious one I had never seen on him before. He side-eyed Glenn.

Glenn must have done the same thing, because Rick asked, "What?"

"Nothin'," grunted Daryl.

"Yeah, right. Glenn?" Glenn, not expecting to be confronted, began muttering something incoherent. "Spit it out."

"Fine," he sighed, running his hands down his face. "Daryl and I can't help but notice that you and Jo seem to be... friends again."

"We were never not friends."

"Yeah but... you weren't in a good place and everyone could see that. You haven't been for a while. We invited you two on this run to-"

"Wait," I interrupted. "You asked us both to come to what, parent trap us?"

"Basically, yeah, I guess."

I didn't want to tell the men that as of a few hours ago, we were more than friends. For all I knew, Rick wanted to keep it on the down low until we figured out exactly what we were.

"You two are ridiculous," Rick chuckled.

"It worked, didn't it?" Daryl stated more than asked.

"Yeah, it did."

I hid my smile in my palm.

"You're welcome."

"Shut up and focus on the road." Daryl held up his hands defensively for a second before he placed them on the wheel again. "Parent trappin' us," Rick muttered under his breath.

It was entirely dark when we arrived back in Alexandria. Daryl flashed the headlights three times before the gate was rolled open for us. After we pulled inside, I got out to see Spencer locking the entrance. He smirked when he met my eyes and sauntered over to me.

Before he could even get a word out, Rick entered the space between us. "Aren't you supposed to be on watch?" he sneered.

Spencer scoffed, taking a step forward. His fists were clenched like they were seconds away from swinging. "Just because my mom is dead doesn't mean you can tell me what to do."

"Wanna bet?"

I crossed my arms. Although part of me did like to see this protective side of Rick, he had a habit of taking things too far. Also, if I spoke up, I'd instantly give away the reason for Rick's anger.

"Just walk away, man," Glenn pleaded, placing a hand on Spencer's chest.

The man sent a death glare at Rick. He then walked away wordlessly and climbed up the watch tower.

Glenn turned to Rick. "What was that?'

Rick glanced at me then back at Glenn. "Nothin'. He rubs me the wrong way."

"Cut him some slack, okay? It's only been two weeks since Deanna died and we still haven't found her body. He doesn't need you pushing him over the edge over whatever's happening between you two."

Rick swallowed his pride. "Yeah, I know."

"Let's head home, clearly we all need some sleep," I said, raising an eyebrow at Rick.

"Good idea, Jo," Glenn agreed. "I'll catch you guys later, though. I gotta stop by the pantry and grab Maggie some potato chips.

Maggie and Glenn had told more people about their pregnancy. The whole town didn't know, but all of their family did.

Rick chuckled. "I remember that stage. Lori went through gallons of chocolate milk with Carl. I had to pick one up from the grocery store every day after my shift."

"I'm just glad she's craving something I can actually get. I don't what I'd do if she wanted ice cream."

"You'd find a way," added Daryl.

Glenn waved us off. The three of us walked home on the dark streets. Rick and Daryl went into their house and I went into mine.

I went into my bedroom and put on fresh pajamas. I threw my bloodied clothes into a pile in the corner of my room. I'd have to wash them as soon as I woke up tomorrow or they'd start to smell. I was used to the scent, so much so that I hardly noticed it, but I couldn't say the same for Blair and Dakota.

I sat on the edge of my bed. My body yelled at me for rest, but my mind yearned for Rick. My leg bounced nervously as I contemplated what to do.

"Screw it," I announced.

I slipped on some shoes and quietly descended the stairs. The last thing I wanted was to be questioned by my sisters. The door creaked as I shut it behind me. My face scrunched as I cringed at the sound. I waited a moment before I walked over to Rick's.

Just as I was about to place my shaking hand on the door handle, it opened slowly. I quickly thought of an explanation to give to the person behind the door. I didn't have to use it though because Rick revealed himself. He had on plaid pajama pants, a grey t-shirt, and a bewildered expression.

"I was just comin' to see you," I clarified.

"I was comin' over to do the same thing," Rick added. "You wanna come in?"

I nodded. The man stepped to side and allowed me into the home. He shut and locked the door behind me.

It was strange being back in here. I'd stopped by a few times to pick up Judith or visit my family, but I had never stayed or took in the moment. Not since our first night in Alexandria. I would be lying if I said I didn't miss sleeping under the same roof as the people that saved my life.

There wasn't a single light or sound in the home—except for Daryl's snores, which were white noise at this point—so my nerves were put at ease.

Rick grabbed my hand and led me to the stairs. I didn't protest or hesitate as he brought me into the master bedroom and closed it off to any ears or eyes.

There was no need for words to be exchanged between us because it was entirely obvious why we each wanted to sneak over to the other's home.

Rick took my face in his hands, his pinkies rested just under my jaw. He brought my lips to his which moved perfectly in sync. Our noses brushed as our heads tilted the opposite direction. Without breaking our connection, I stepped back until I was on Rick's bed. He crawled above me while I scooted back.

I pushed his shoulders back as I had a sudden realization. "What about Carl?" I whispered. His room was right next to Rick's and I knew he liked to stay away late in the night.

"He's listenin' to music. We're fine, trust me," Rick told me, his blue eyes glistening in the moonlight.

Rick kissed me again, this time deepening it.

I grabbed the bottom of Rick's shirt and began pulling it up and over his head. Desire rose inside of me. I pushed the man over on his back so I straddled him. I felt him pushing through his pants.

This time, I sucked and kissed on his neck. He let out a moan of pleasure which drove me crazy. It made me want him more than I had ever wanted anything else in this life.

Rick flipped me back over. It was clear that even in the bedroom, he liked to be the man in charge.

He stripped off my shirt, leaving my braless chest exposed. His own chest moved faster as he took in my form. He met my gaze. "God, you are so beautiful."

Rick began licking and kissing my breasts, not quite reaching my nipples. When his tongue finally met with them, I gripped the sheets and a breathy moan escaped. He flicked and licked until my knuckles turned white.

As he went lower, I noticed he paid special attention to my scars. He kissed each one gently and with extreme care.

He slowly took off my pajama pants before throwing them across the room. I was completely exposed. But if there was anyone I wanted to be entirely vulnerable around, it was Rick.

His lips lingered on the scar that had caused our conversation earlier in the day. But, he swiftly moved to my most sensitive area. I let out a moan so loud Carl would have heard if he wasn't wearing headphones. His tongue moved skillfully which caused me to squirm and for my legs to shake.

I got close to finishing, but Rick stopped. He stripped off his own pants. I almost gasped at the sight that was previously below them.

Rick pecked me, then asked, "Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"Yes," I confirmed. "I want you, Rick. All of you."

He slowly slid his cock inside of me. My airflow got caught in my throat but was then replaced by a sound of pleasure. I bit my lip in an attempt to quiet myself.

Rick moved faster, our breathing, grunts, and moans becoming one.

"Rick, Rick, I'm gonna-" I said.

"Me too," he groaned.

My body convulsed and tightened as gratification shot through me.

Rick pulled out and released as he gasped, "Jolene."

The man fell down next me, trying to catch his breath. He turned over to face me with a smile spread across his face.

"What?" I asked, a corner of my mouth rising.

"You're amazing." Rick pressed a deep kiss on my lips. "Let me clean you up."

He stood, put on a fresh pair of boxers, and left the room. He quickly came back with a wash rag. With a tender touch, he wiped me clean. Then, he found my clothes and handed them back to me. When I was fully dressed again, Rick laid down next me. His chest pressed against my back and our legs tangled together. He held my waist tightly.

"Stay with me tonight," he whispered in my ear.

"There's no place I'd rather be," I responded, pressing my body into his warmth.

"Goodnight, Jo."

"Goodnight, Rick."