"So who's in?"

Rick had gathered everyone in Alexandria together to discuss our impending doom; the horde of walkers in the quarry. The air was still thick with tension from Pete and Reg's murders. It was clear some did not trust Rick in the slightest but others were on our side now.

To my surprise, Tate didn't lash out or even mention the death of his friend. Maybe he understood Pete couldn't live. Or maybe he was hiding what he truly felt. Either way, he was fine. He continued to dote on me, make me breakfast, wash my clothes.

I raised my hand. "I'm with you."

Blair and Dakota's nervous expressions contrasted with Rick's satisfied nod.

A few others offered to lead the walkers away before Tate stepped forward.

"I'll go," he said.

My head instantly snapped toward the man. The last thing I expected was for him to volunteer. Sure, Tate was strong, but he had very little experience with walkers. The only time he's killed them was when he was outside of the walls with the construction crew. Even then, I don't think he did much close combat.

I nonverbally quesitoned Tate. He ignored me, his gaze becoming fixed on Rick.

"Okay." The muscles in Rick's jaw clenched. "We'll make this work. We'll keep this place safe. Keep our families safe. We will."

"The plan. Go through it again," Carter stated.

"Man, he just said it," Daryl grumbled from the bench in the window.

"Every part. Again. The exact plan."

___

I approached Rick's house with a sniper rifle slung on my back. Rosita had just taken over my shift on watch. Deanna did away with my previous jobs. Her mind was clouded with grief and the only thing she could focus on was keeping the rest of her people alive. So for now, I was on the wall in between preparation for the quarry plan.

Rick stood up from the steps and went inside leaving his friend alone with Judith on his lap.

"Hello, Morgan," I greeted, holding out my hand. "I'm Jolene. We haven't had a chance to meet formally."

Morgan smiled and shook my hand. "Nice to meet you, Jolene."

I took Rick's place on the steps. Judith leaned over, she wanted me to hold her.

"Come on, sweetie," I cooed.

Morgan transferred the child over to me. I held her against my chest.

"How'd you and Rick meet?" I asked. "Did you know each other before?"

Morgan shook his head. "No, no. We met after. I found him wandering around like a damn fool in a hospital gown."

"After the coma?"

"Yeah, after the coma. He had no idea what was goin' on. What he was doin'. I took him in and got him on his feet."

My furrowed my eyebrows. "You saved his life?"

"I did what was right," spoke Morgan. He wrung his hands uncomfortably. "Enough about me, how'd you two meet?"

I explained how I came upon the prison by accident, passed out, and joined Rick in his battle against the Governor before saying, "We've been through a lot together since then. He's truly one of the greatest men I have ever known. We're lucky we found him."

"You both make a great couple."

"We--I'm" I sputtered, blushing. "Rick and I aren't a couple."

Morgan's eyes widened. "Oh, I'm sorry, forgive me. It's just the way he was lookin' at you and the way you were just talkin' about him. I assumed wrong."

I tried to imagine Rick's expression. What could it have been for Morgan to believe we were in love?

"No, it's okay. We're pretty close. It was an honest mistake."

Morgan smiled like he wanted to say more but held his tongue.

___

I tightened my gun belt, slipped on my boots, and placed my hat on my head. This getup hasn't seen the light of day since we stepped foot in Alexandria. Even though it reminded me of death and chaos, I felt more like myself in it.

I grabbed a cherry pop-tart package from the pantry before waving at my sisters who were cooking their own breakfast. My stomach growled as I eyed Dakota buttering toast.

"Good luck on the practice run," Blair said as she scooped up a sunnyside-up egg with a spatula.

"You want food?" Dakota asked.

"Nah," I replied, holding up the silver rectangle. "Got my meal for the mornin'. I gotta get goin' though. Where's Tate?"

"He left already. Abraham needed help with some last-minute repairs on somethin'."

I nodded. "Okay, well, I'll see ya'll at supper time. Make me somethin' good."

"Make your own food," scoffed Blair.

As I was leaving the house, I shouted, "Tacos would be amazing!"

Muffled yelling followed behind me. I chuckled to myself.

I walked to the main gate where everyone was getting in their vehicles. Rick leaned up against an old rusted station wagon. He stood up straight when he noticed me approaching.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

"Course," I said. "Am I ridin' with you?"

"You're ridin' with me, cowgirl."

Rick pressed down on my hat so it covered my eyes. I readjusted it before unseriously glaring at him.

"I was gonna share my pop-tarts with you but now I'm rethinkin' that decision."

Rick laughed and opened his door. "Let's get goin'."

I walked around the other side of the vehicle. Before I could even grab the door handle, Rick leaned over and swung it open for me.

As I plopped in the seat I said, "Such a gentleman."

"Glad you finally noticed," he replied, a twinkle in his blue eyes.

Rick led the charge for the quarry like a king leading his knights to war. His Colt Python was his Excalibur. The station wagon was his mighty steed. The halo of sunshine above his head was his golden crown.

I unwrapped the pop-tarts, slid one out, and held it out to Rick. "I didn't rethink it."

"Good, 'cause I'm starvin'," he stated, taking the pastry. He then took a huge bite from it. "Love cherry."

I took a bite from mine. "Me too. It's always been my favorite."

"Carl hates cherry."

My mouth fell open. "You need to get that kid some help," I joked.

"Don't I know it."

"I'm sure if we told him Enid loves cherry pop-tarts he'd change his ways."

"You think so?" Rick questioned, his tone getting more serious. "He has a crush on her?"

I raised an eyebrow. "You haven't noticed? They've been runnin' off together more and more frequently. He can't keep his eyes off of her."

Rick swallowed hard. "I guess I've been a little distracted."

"We've all been distracted in our own ways," I told him, my heart breaking a little at his disappointed face. "Besides, I doubt Carl would want his dad knowin' he likes a girl."

"No, he wouldn't. Just wish I would have noticed." Rick turned onto a dirt road. Both of us bumped around on the bench seat. "At least I know you're watchin' over him and he's not navigating all this alone. And honestly, I wouldn't want anyone else doin' that besides you."

I faced the passenger window as a grin spread across my face. "Well, what can I say? He won my heart the moment he pointed a gun in my face."

"Us Grimes men are charmin'."

I rolled my eyes while turning to face the sheriff again. He winked as he pulled up to the designated parking spot.

Tate met me at my door. I opened it and stood next to him. He squinted at my face, his tattooed arms crossed. "Why is your face so red?" he asked.

I shrugged. "It was hot in there," I lied, Rick's wink replaying in my mind. "You fix the wall?"

"As much as we could before we had to be here. We'll add the finishing touches before the real deal."

Rick climbed on top of a flatbed and began going over the plan again so everyone was prepared for the day. Before he could finish, a loud rumbling interrupted him.

"You see that?" said Sasha as she pointed across the quarry.

Suddenly, a huge chunk of rock broke off a cliff. This caused one of the semis that blocked the walkers in the hole to fall as well.

My heart began racing rapidly. This wasn't supposed to happen today. We were supposed to practice this first. I knew that my group would be able to handle this on the fly. But the others that got too comfortable inside the walls needed to be able to run through it. They would have to adapt. Tate would have to adapt.

"It's open!" Rick screamed. "We got to do this now!"

Everyone scrambled to their positions. Tate gripped my upper arm, his thumb pressing into the sensitive tissue of my former gunshot wound.

"We can make it back to Alexandria," he said frantically, his attention fixated on the walkers making their way up the hill. "We can leave now. This is fucking insane, Jolene. Rick's plan is insane. There's no way this ends well. Come on!"

I yanked my arm away. "If you can't do this, then leave! Those walkers will demolish Alexandria.  I have to try."

"I don't want you to die for this."

"This isn't about me," I argued. "This is about my family who are inside those walls. If I die protecting them, then so be it. Don't be so selfish."

Tate rubbed his face in a frustrated manner. "Okay! Fine. You're right. I'll stay."

"Do what Rick says and don't be an idiot. I'll see you at yellow."

Tate pecked me on the lips before running off with Carter.

I suddenly became embarrassed of the public display of affection that was forced upon me. My mind should have been focused on the hundreds of walkers coming at me, but I was instead making sure that no one saw what happened.  That Rick didn't see what happened. Not that it really mattered. He and Jessie were still a thing--whatever that thing was--so a kiss between Tate and I probably meant nothing to him now.

Why was I so worried about such a minuscule thing like that when Tate could die? I still cared about him. But it was clear to me now that I cared about Rick more.

"Let's go!" Rick yelled to Morgan, Michonne, and I.

The truck was moved, the flares were shot, and it was time for us to get into position.

The four of us ran from the quarry and down the street toward orange with the curved barrier. My lungs tightened and my legs burned but I kept going. We needed to stay ahead of the herd or the plan would fall apart before it began.

"Cut through the forest, we'll get there faster," I said between heavy breaths.

I darted to the left into the brush. The three of them followed close behind me. I jumped over rocks, ran around trees, and splashed through a small creek. We emerged onto a paved road, behind the wall where the RV sat.

I slowed down and took deep inhales of air.

"Glenn, you there yet?" Rick asked in the walkie-talkie.

The device crackled a second before Glenn replied, "Almost. We'll have it handled before they get here. And we'll meet you at yellow."

"Copy that."

We all stood and watched the wall anxiously. Morgan tapped his stick on the concrete.

"It'll hold," Rick told us, sensing the tension.

"Well, that's good," Michonne said. "You know, considering where we're standing."

I walked beside the wall, running my fingers along the wavy sheet metal. It was held up by logs, a few metal poles, the RV, and a couple of vehicles. I hoped that was enough for the mass amount of walkers headed our way. If not, Alexandria would be gone and the four of us were as good as dead.

Steel popped under my feet as I climbed on the roof of one of the cars. I peered out in the direction that the walkers would be coming from led by Sasha, Abraham, and Daryl. Even though they weren't here yet, the growls of the undead could be heard clearly.

The vehicle I was standing on shook slightly. I balanced myself while Rick planted his feet next to me.

"You really think it'll hold?" I asked.

Rick cocked his head to the side. "It has to." He took an orange flare gun from his pocket and handed it to me.

"Your plan will work. If everyone does their job, it'll work," I reassured him. "I know we can't fully trust that the others are capable, but they're protectin' their home and their family too. That's enough to make anyone brave."

"Brave doesn't keep them from dyin'."

I nodded, looking down at my feet. "It doesn't."

Daryl's bike appeared from the bend in the walkers' path.

"They're here!" announced Rick. "Shoot off the first round of flares."

I turned off the safety, pointed the barrel in the sky, and fired.

Daryl repeatedly looked back to make sure the walkers were staying in line and not getting sloppy. When he met my eyes, I tipped my hat to him. He raised two fingers from his handlebars to acknowledge my sign of good luck and to say it himself.

The walkers began banging up against the wall as they turned the corner. The metal rattled and vibrated. Now that I was so close to the walkers and they weren't yards below me, the threat became all too real. My heart picked up speed.

Rick was the first to jump down from the car. He then held out his hand for me. I took it and he helped me onto solid ground.

We shot off our flares two more times and waited for the herd to thin out before we headed to yellow.

___

A walker wandered away from the group and into the forest. I quickly and quietly put a blade through its skull so I didn't alert any of its friends. As I was lowering the walker to the ground, a horn began blaring.

"What the hell is that?" I questioned as Rick whipped around.

The walkers began getting drawn by the new, louder sound, straight in our direction. Rick and I sprinted further away from them and met up with Michonne who looked just as scared.

"Whatever that is, it's far away," the woman said. "It sounds like it's coming from--"

"Home," Rick finished. "Fuck. Come on, we have to figure out a new plan."

Michonne and I followed Rick as more walkers left the road. The others, including Glenn and Tate, were already running east. We joined them in an attempt to get some ground between us and the threat.

I felt the Reaper's cold breath on my neck. Like he was only one step away from grabbing me and throwing me to the walkers. But when I could sense him next to me, I wasn't grabbed. He ran past me toward my home. Toward my sisters, Carl, Judith, and Maggie. I blinked and my personification of death was gone but the pit in my stomach remained.

Tate stopped abruptly in front of me.

"What are you doin'?!" I said. "Keep goin'."

He pointed a stern finger in my face. "I told you this would happen. I told you Rick's plan wouldn't work. He's getting us killed, Jolene!"

"You think he planned for that horn to go off? Are you serious? His plan was workin'. This is somethin' else. You'll get yourself killed if you start being reckless, not Rick."

"Does he have something on you? Has he manipulated you so much that you can't think for yourself?"

"Tate," I seethed. "I'm goin' with Rick whether you like it or not. Also, I can think for myself and I think you need to shut the fuck up and get in line." I pressed my finger in his chest. "I get it, you're scared. But if you run off and leave us right now, you're a coward. We're in this together. We'll talk about this more when Alexandira is safe. For now, you don't have a choice but to do what Rick tells you. Let's go."

I turned and continued running. The leaves crunched behind me so I knew Tate was following.

Rick stopped and we gathered in front of him.

"All right, listen up. Here's the new plan," he began, the horn still bellowing. "I go back, get the RV, circle around the woods on Redding. I'll get in front of them before they get there. I can lead them away."

"I'll go with you," I said.

"No," Tate blurted. His gaze sent daggers through Rick. "You're not. He can handle that himself. You're staying with me."

Rick shifted his weight to his other foot and shook his head. Something he does when he's angry. "Actually, she is comin' with me. I'm the one callin' the shots here and I need another pair of hands. That's final." Rick nodded behind his back. "Glenn, Michonne, Jo."

"This is bullshit," Tate whispered as I walked away.

I wanted to turn around and give him a piece of my mind again, but I held my tongue. Everyone deals with stress and fear differently. I guess his way was to be a major asshole. I couldn't let him worm his way into my head and make me slip up.

"If something's in front of you, you kill it," Rick said. "No hiding, no waiting. You keep goin'."

"We will. We'll get them home," Michonne told him.

"Thing is, they aren't all gonna make it."

"Rick--" Glenn protested.

"You try to save them, you try, but they can't keep up, you keep goin'. You have to make sure you get back."

Glenn and Michonne exchanged hesitant, worried glances. I agreed with Rick to an extent. I wanted those two to keep themselves alive and not get themselves killed for a person not in our family, but if we had done that before, half of us wouldn't be here. Including myself. Including Rick.

Suddenly, there was an ear-splitting scream. We ran over to see that one of the Alexandrian men had gotten bit in the neck. Michonne sent her katana through his head. His friends watched helplessly. Although it was never easy losing someone you had grown close to, we had no time to mourn.

Tate balled up his fists.

Silence surrounded us.

"The horn stopped. Good," Rick stated. He grabbed weapons from the newly deceased body. "Get back safe. Come on, Jo."

I nodded. "I'll catch up with you in a sec," I responded.

Rick began walking toward the RV.

I stepped closer to Michonne and Glenn. "You guys do what you think is right. If you feel like you need to leave someone behind and you have no other option, do it. But if you want to stay behind and help them, you should. We need them as much as we need them. I know you two know that and I know I'm not Rick, but I felt like you needed to hear it. We've survived this long because we've taken chances on people."

"You're not Rick," Glenn started, "but you're right, Jo. Chances are all we got."

"Like I said, we'll get them home," Michonne added, determination in her voice.

"I'll see you two later," I told them. I hugged Michonne then Glenn. In his ear, I whispered, "Get back to Maggie."

Glenn nodded as I pulled away. "I will. I'll find her. When you get back, we gotta talk. But, you should get going."

I gave them one last glimpse before I ran to catch up with Rick. They'd make it. I couldn't let myself imagine they wouldn't.

It didn't take me long to get to Rick. When he noticed me behind him, he slowed down his pace a bit until I was next to him. The RV was a mile away but we weren't strangers to running that distance. It wouldn't take us long to get there.

On the road ahead of us were three walkers crouched over something, or someone.

"You see that?" I heaved.

"Yeah, I do," Rick replied.

His walkie-talkie crackled. Through it, Glenn said, "Rick, Jo, it's Glenn. We're in a town five degrees east of the green marker. If you two get around on Redding in the next 20 minutes, you should be good. I think that's how far we're ahead of the herd. I'm gonna try to set a fire and distract them. If you don't see smoke, they're still coming your way. I got to go.  Good luck, dumbass."

As we approached, a walker in a blue button-down stood up and began stumbling toward us. Rick already had his knife out so he went for the attack. I flipped open my blade before sending it straight down into a walker's head. The man it was eating was Phillip. Something must have gone wrong in his group. As I turned, Rick was pulling a machete out of the third walker's chest. He then sliced off half of its head.

Rick grimaced while he looked at his hand. The gash dripped blood down his forearm.

Like muscle memory, I cut a strip of fabric from the bottom of my t-shirt, exposing the bottom of my stomach. I took Rick's hand and wrapped the brown fabric tightly around his injury. I tied the ends into a knot.

"Thank you," he breathed while falling onto one knee.

"The last thing I need is for you to bleed out on me," I said.

Rick put Phillip down for good. He stashed his weapons into a bag that was laid by his body. Rick held it up to me. I took it and slung it around my shoulders.

Once Rick stood, we started running again. More walkers littered our path but we went right past them. We didn't have the time or energy to deal with them. The trees surrounding us blurred while my feet hit the concrete.

We finally made it to the RV; the orange balloons swayed in the breeze. Rick sat in the driver's seat. He grabbed the keys that were stashed in the visor. He started the vehicle and quickly maneuvered onto the road. He sped down the road toward Redding.

"Did you really need my help?" I asked.

Throughout our journey together, there was no hill Rick couldn't get over himself. If anyone could have done this alone, it was him.

"No, I didn't. But I didn't want to leave you with Tate," he admitted. "I don't trust him. Especially when your life is at stake. I know men like him. If he got in trouble, he'd drag you down with him just because he could. No matter what he says to you, nothin' matters more to him than himself."

"That's not true."

"It is. Shane was the same way."

I shut my mouth as his words on the watch tower found their way to the forefront of my mind.

Who was sleeping in my house in the room next to me? In the room next to my little sisters? Flashes of Tate's words and behavior put a sour taste in my mouth. A taste that I could no longer overcome by seeing Will's face.

"Maybe you're right," I spoke just loud enough for Rick to hear over the RV engine.

The closer to Alexandria we got, the louder the gunshots became. I dug my nails into the armrests.

The large vehicle slowed down. Rick put it in park. "I think this is where the herd is headed."

"Okay." My eyes remained forward. All I could imagine was everyone getting shot down and their souls being taken by the Reaper.

"Go," Rick instructed. "Take the bike in the back."

I shook my head. "No. This is my job. I can't run off just because I'm worried about them."

Ricks's undamaged hand gently pushed my cheek to meet his blue gaze. "Jo, I'm not askin'. Go. I got this."

"Okay, okay," I gave in, throwing up my arms.

I rushed to the back bedroom and wheeled out the bike that leaned up against the wall.

"Radio me when you get back," Rick said. "Don't stop until you know it's safe."

"I will. I'll make sure Carl and Judith are okay."

Rick ran his fingers through his sweat-drenched hair. "Get pedalin' before they get here."

My hands shook. "We should have a drink when this is all done. Just us," I suggested.

Rick smiled despite the dangerous circumstances. "Consider it done."

"Goodbye, Rick."

I opened the door and immediately got on my transportation. If I didn't, I wouldn't have been able to make myself leave. I raced down the street, the gunshots inspiring my endurance. I did as Rick said and zipped around the walkers being drawn by the sound.

When I was a little over halfway there, the gunfire stopped. I went to the worst; that whatever was attacking them won and everyone in Alexandria that I loved was dead.

"No," I said to myself. "They're okay."

Near the front gate, I saw a semi that had crashed into the watch tower and the wall. That must have been what was making the blaring horn sound. Our plan was ruined by people. It was always people.

"Get the gate!" Spencer yelled from the watch platform.

Maggie and Deanna pulled the chainlink to the side allowing me to blast through. I hit the break and threw the bike to the ground. I sprinted to my friend and embraced her.

"What happened?" I asked in a panic.

"We were ambushed," Maggie informed me. "They had Ws carved in their foreheads like the walkers we saw at the cabin and in Richmond."

I was speechless. Details in our travels foreshadowed our own attackers. If we had been more alert--prepared--maybe this could have been prevented. We knew some deranged group was living among us and we did nothing and instead, we opted for a fairytale life. Noah could have gotten revenge for his family.

"They're dead?"

"Yes. Some of us are too."

I scanned the town. Bodies of strangers and allies lay limp on the ground, their blood soaking into the soil.

"Where's Glenn?" Maggie questioned.

"They're not back yet?!" I asked in reply.

"No."

"He was goin' to set a fire to draw the walkers off from their path here. He's with Michonne so I'm sure he's okay. No... I know he's okay. We just have to wait, alright?"

Maggie nodded while biting her bottom lip.

Although I wanted to comfort her, I had other people on my mind too. "Do you know where my sisters are?"

"I'm not sure."

I squeezed Maggie's shoulder before running deeper into Alexandria.

The front door of my house was flung open, the knob was broken on the floor. I hurried in. Droplets of blood led from the entrance and up the stairs. I unholstered my revolver and silently went up the steps. The blood went into Dakota's bedroom. Rapidly, I turned the corner and pointed my gun. I lowered it instantly upon seeing Dakota sitting in a pool of red. She was shaking and staring at a dead man with a W.

I dropped my gun on her bed and squatted by my sister. I rubbed her back slowly and gently. Blood was splattered on her face and covered her hands. She didn't even move as I touched her.

"Are you hurt?" I whispered.

No answer.

I looked her over. The only injuries I could see were a bruise on her face and scratches on her arms. The man on the other hand was slashed in the stomach. Some of his organs were visible.

"Hey, Dakota, you're safe. I'm here now. Let's go get you cleaned up, okay?"

Dakota nodded. I pulled her off the floor and held her as I took her to the bathroom. When she entered, she shut the door in my face and locked it.

I sighed and didn't fight her. She was obviously traumatized by what she had to do.

"I have to look for Blair," I told her. "You stay in the house. Lay down in my room after you're done. I promise I'll be back. I love you."

Before I could even take the first step downstairs, I heard, "Dakota! Dakota!"

"Blair!" I shouted.

"Oh my God," my sister uttered while meeting me on the top floor.

We hugged. I held her head close to me. Knowing they were both alive was the best feeling in the world. 

Blair wiped her eyes. "Where's Dakota?"

I pointed to the bathroom. "In there. One of those fuckers tried to kill her. She got him first. But, she's pretty shaken up. She needs some space." I now looked over Blair. "Are you hurt at all?"

"No, I'm fine. Carol saved me. Jo, I was so scared. I just froze. I had one of your guns but I couldn't pull the trigger." She wrung her hands together. 

"It's okay," I stated calmly, stopping her movement. "You haven't been out there in a long time. But I'll teach you again. Both of you. You'll be able to protect yourself even when you're scared. It will be hard, but I know you can do it. Then, I'll show you how to live with the guilt. No more pretendin' the world outside doesn't exist. Especially after it's reared its ugly head."

Blair took in a deep breath. Her tears stopped. "I need to sit down for a minute."

"Okay. Keep an eye out for Dakota. I need to check on Carl and Judith."

Blair nodded and went directly into her room. I shut Dakota's door.

I ran next door and went inside. Carl bounced Judith in his arms in the kitchen. The smell of casserole filled the air. My nerves relaxed.

"Jo!" exclaimed Carl. "You're back."

He put his free arm around me. I kissed his cheek.

"Good job protectin' your sister, kid," I told him. "I'm proud of you."

Carl glanced at the wooden floor. "Enid helped. She's gone."

"Gone? Where'd she go?"

"Outside the walls."

I pushed a puff of air through my lips. "We'll get her back when things have calmed down a bit and when your dad gets back. You stay in here for now. You don't need to see all that."

When I exited his home, I spotted Michonne and Tate by the gate. I began jogging over.

Then, I heard a voice that sent chills throughout my body.

"Open the gate now!"

With the little energy I had left, I moved as fast as I could. Maggie and Michonne pulled the barrier open. Rick darted forward, the herd of walkers right behind him. He shoved one into the grass before he was able to get inside the wall. The walkers tried to claw their way through the metal bars.

Rick leaned forward, his hands resting on his knees. His chest moved up and down quickly, trying to get oxygen in.

"Rick!" I called out.

He stood up just as I slammed into him. My arms wrapped around his neck. His went around my waist. His feet stumbled a little from my momentum, but his grip on me remained secure. Our breaths became one.

"I couldn't stop them," Rick said, exhausted.

"I don't care."