Five days had passed since we buried Beth.

Losing the prison, Hershel, Poe, Bob, and now Beth had taken a massive toll on me and the group. Some members more than others. Maggie and Sasha's grief was palpable. Maggie dealt with her's through crying. Sasha dealt with her's through violence. I understood both sides deeply. The rest of us grieved silently. That's how it worked in this group. If someone couldn't be strong, the others would make up for that until they were back on their feet.

We were on our way to Richmond, Virginia to Noah's settlement. The first cars we had found broke down fairly quickly so we hadn't made much progress.

Carl hadn't left my side since I got back. Every vehicle I rode in, he rode in too. If he could, he sat right next to me. I assumed that my going to Washington affected him more than he was letting on. A twinge of guilt sat in my chest at the thought of him feeling abandoned by me.

Carl and I read the comic books I had gotten him together. I made him sound out the words he didn't know and quizzed him on terms I had taught him at the prison. He did pretty well. He was such a smart kid. He would have done well in the world before this one if it hadn't been destroyed.

As a result of Carl remaining in my general vicinity, so did his father. Ever since the hospital, he began warming up to me again. His icy exterior was slowly melting away every day I was near him.

Rick stuck his arm out the window and signaled to the two other cars behind us to stop. It was getting late in the afternoon and we were running out of fuel, food, water, and just general supplies. Luckily, we had come up to a small town that seemed to be abandoned by people and walkers alike.

All of us got out of our respective vehicles and gathered in front of Rick.

"Glenn, Maggie, Michonne, Daryl, Abraham, Rosita, and Jo, we'll clear main street, see if there are any supplies. Then we'll find a place to sleep for the night," the man instructed. "Everyone else stays here. If anything goes wrong, fire your weapons, we'll hear you."

I nodded and grabbed a bag out of the trunk of the SUV. Michonne and Daryl grabbed a few gas canisters next to me.

"Be careful," Carl said to me as he readjusted Judith in his arms. He gave me a look of intense worry.

I cupped his cheek in my palm. "I'll be back, kid. Make sure to feed your sister soon. There should be a jar of peaches left."

"I know."

The eight of us walked into the town in silence. We stayed in a tight formation while we scanned the area for any danger. A walker stumbled out an alleyway as we got closer to the downtown area.

"You got it, Daryl?" Rick told more than asked.

Daryl bobbed his head before letting an arrow fly.  We slowed as he went to retrieve it.

When we got to the middle of the tiny Main Street, Rick eyed the brick buildings. "Daryl, Michonne check the cars for gas and anything else useful. Rosita and Abraham, check out the grocery store. Glenn and Maggie, clear the pharmacy." The sheriff pointed down the street. "Jo and I will take the outdoors store. Meet back here in no more than an hour."

Everyone split off without a word. Rick and I passed by dusty windows, potted plants that had been turned over on the sidewalk, and weeds that had broken through the asphalt. This was a ghost town in every sense of the word. But that was good for us. If it was untouched that meant there would be plenty of supplies.

I got out my knife as Rick grabbed his machete. Both of us tried looking inside but it was a little too dark to see toward the back. The door clicked open after I pulled on the handle. A bell jingled.

"Ready?" I whispered.

Rick held up his weapon and squinted at the door. I swung open the barrier for him to swiftly enter. I followed closely behind him. The store wasn't big, so it only took us a few minutes to clear the central area. Some of the items were taken, but it still had more than enough supplies for us. The one thing that did brighten my spirits was seeing that the gun counter wasn't picked clean.

I gestured toward the back office. Rick nodded before heading toward the bathroom.

Inside the office was a walker without legs. It was crawling on the tiled floor desperately trying to get ahold of me. Behind it was a wheelchair covered in spiderwebs and dust. I squatted down before stabbing the walker in the head.

On the desk sat an empty pill bottle and an opened bottle of whiskey. Next to those was a piece of paper that said 'I'm sorry' in shaky letters and a framed picture of a man in a wheel chair with his wife and teenage daughter.

This was almost me. After the prison fell. I could have been a walker found by other survivors. They'd pity me just like I did with this man before they put me down.

I stared at the scene in front of me until Rick put a hand on the small of my back. Even through my tank top, I felt his warmth.

"Come on," he said quietly.

I cleared my throat and left the room. Rick closed the door behind me.

I immediately began surveying the store for things we needed. If I let my mind run with what I just saw, then I'd be a liability.

In my bag I put in a of couple hatchets, lighters, water filtration devices, and bundles of rope before I finally glanced up at Rick. He was already watching me, his hand hovering over a box of ammo.

"What?" I questioned.

Rick's eyes broke away from mine as he put the ammo in his own bag. "Just makin' sure you're alright."

I bit my lip before saying, "I'm alright, Rick. I've seen worse. We both have."

"Doesn't mean this time isn't gettin' to you."

"It isn't. And it won't. I didn't know him. I already have too many ghosts."

I turned away and continued searching for anything useful. It all was, but I could only carry so much. On the road, we had to travel light.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw walkie-talkies. I looked over the packaging to make sure they were battery-powered and had a good range. They checked all the boxes. These would be perfect for communicating while driving or on runs. There were four in total but we'd make that work.

It suddenly occurred to me that this was the first time Rick and I had been alone since Georgia. We had either been separated, with the whole group, or avoiding each other. Daryl, Maggie, and Glenn's words swam around in my head until I couldn't focus on anything else.

My hands shook and I spun around again. "What happened between us?" I asked Rick.

The man froze for a second before he cocked his head to the side. "I don't know—"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Rick" I interjected as I took a step toward him. "What happened?"

Rick sighed and finished stuffing a handgun into the duffel.

"I saw you and Poe get shot down in the field," he began. "I didn't see you get back up. Carl wanted to go find you, to make sure, but I wouldn't let him because I was sure you were dead. I convinced myself you were."

"I thought you could be dead, too. But I didn't just shut you out like you did to me," I argued.

Rick leaned forward on the glass counter. "I know. But when I was stuck in that house with nothin' to do but heal, I realized that I cared about you a lot more than I thought. It killed me imaginin' you bleedin' out in that field where I should have saved you."

I stepped even closer to the man, my face softening. It was a relief to know he felt that way about me back then. "Why did you pull away from me?"

"Because I couldn't stand the thought of losin' you again, Jo," he admitted, sternly. His open hands turned into fists. "I was finally comin' to terms with you dyin' when I saw you in that train car. Then everything came crashin' down. I didn't know if we were goin' to survive Terminus, so I pushed all my feelings away. I continued to do that after because it was easier than accepting the truth."

Now, Rick and I were only separated by a foot of glass and metal.

The two of us were more similar than I thought. We both shoved the uncomfortable feelings to somewhere dark and far away where we didn't have to face them head-on.

Rick ran his fingers through his hair. "Then, you left for Washington and I instantly regretted how I'd been treatin' you. I just kept thinkin' that if I had said somethin', if I had accepted that you were alive you would have stayed and I wouldn't have had to lose you for a second time."

I placed my hand on the back side of Rick's. He turned it over and we both held onto each other.

"I'm alive," I said. "I'm alive and I'm here with you, Rick. I'm not going anywhere. Not anymore."

The man nodded. "I know that now. I do. I got my second chance when you showed up in Atlanta."

"Does this mean we can be friends again?" I asked with a teasing smile.

Rick looked down with his own smile. "Yeah, I think it does."

I squeezed his hand. "I cared about you a lot too. I still do." My lungs filled with a deep breath. "When I was alone after the prison, I almost gave up. But then I thought of everyone here. I thought about you. You kept me going even when I wasn't sure I'd ever see you again."

I gazed into Rick's eyes. It was like I was lying down in freshly cut grass, peering up at a clear blue sky. His breath was the breeze on my lips.

Then, a walker slammed up against the large front windows of the store. Rick and I both jumped and pulled away from one another. What was previously inches of space now turned into feet.

Rick lifted his wrist and read his watch. "It's about time we get back."

I agreed as I zipped up my bag.

Rick lured the walker away and sliced off the top of its head with his machete in the middle of the road. While he did that, I tipped my hat back to see everyone else had already gathered at the meeting spot.

The two of us made our way over the group. From the looks of it, everyone's bags were full.

"Good call havin' us come this way," Rick said.

"Maybe next time you'll listen to me without arguing first," I teased.

Rick chuckled, his crow's feet prominent. "I'd like to think I will, but I probably won't."

"I know you won't." I raised an eyebrow at the man. "You're as stubborn as a mule sometimes."

He nudged me gently with his elbow. "Yeah, yeah. I don't want to hear that comin' from you."

I rolled my eyes as we approached everyone. Their conversation died down as soon we got close enough to hear.

"We find what we need?" Rick asked the others.

They all nodded.

"Got enough gas to get us there," Michonne added.

"Good. Let's get back to the others." Rick led the charge forward, walking past everyone.

I caught up next to Daryl. He raised both of his eyebrows at me quickly.

"What's that look for?" I questioned.

"I take it you two kissed and made up?" said Daryl.

I shook my head amusingly. "Yes, besides the kissing part. Was it that obvious?"

Daryl grunted. "You two were actually smilin' at each other. I say that's pretty damn obvious. Took you long enough to do it."

"At least I did it. I don't think Rick ever would," I concluded. "We're good now, though. Thank you."

"For what?"

"Pushin' me to do it."

I watched the back of Rick's head.

Daryl waved me off. "Ain't nothin'. Just stay in good terms now. Can't afford not to."

I could tell he was thinking about Beth while he said that last sentence. The pain in his voice was evident. But what he said was true. Being angry with anyone in our family didn't solve anything. It only created more pain and problems. Rick and I were okay now. That's all that mattered.