Once again, I was back on the road with no home to go back to. This time was different though; I was with people. For the first time wandering and scavenging wasn't so lonely.

Rick and I still hadn't spoke past the necessary conversation. We shared a few hollow glances, but nothing more. I could have tried harder to connect again but I felt like he was the one that had to take that step. Every time I even got near Rick, he would find a reason to go the other direction.

___

Gunfire.

Explosion.

Fire.

"What the hell is happening?"

"We're being attacked. Those assholes who threatened us last week are back. They got into the gun safe."

"Fight or run?"

"Hawk. Hawk. Wake up."

My eyes opened to the rising sun and Daryl standing over me.

"You were talkin' in your sleep," he whispered.

I rubbed my eyes and stood up from my leafy bed. "Sorry."

"Don't worry 'bout it."

Everyone else was still asleep besides myself, Daryl, Rick, and Judith. Rick was feeding his daughter from a bottle.

"What are you doing?" I asked the man.

"Huntin' and seein' if I can find any tracks," he answered as he readjusted his crossbow on his back.

"Tracks?"

"I felt someone watchin' us last night."

My stomach sank. Were the people from Terminus here? Was I right all along? I hoped not.

"Can I come with?"

Daryl looked at me for a moment before nodding. "Come on."

The two of us walked through the forest in silence for awhile. I made sure to stay behind the man so I wouldn't unintentionally mess up any tracks. So far he hadn't found anything substantial. Daryl shot down a few squirrels on the way. I eyed the crossbow.

"Have I made up for tryin' to kill you yet?" I said in a low voice.

Daryl huffed.

"I have a good memory. So, have I?"

He loaded an arrow into the weapon then held it out for me to take. "You've done plenty."

Daryl taught me the basics on how to use the bow. We walked for a few minutes before two squirrels scurried across a branch. They both stopped to eat.

Daryl pointed at them. He came up behind me and put his hands on my forearms. His shallow breaths brushed against my ear. The archer lifted my arms so my aim was better.

"Pull the trigger," he mumbled.

My finger clicked the metal. The arrow flew through the air, right into one of the animals. The other one ran away in an instant.

Daryl stepped back and cleared his throat.

I grinned as a laugh escaped past my parted teeth.

"I get to skin that one," I told Daryl.

He straightened his posture and raised an eyebrow. "You know how, Hawk?"

"Will and I used to hunt. I'm used to deer, but I'm sure I could make it work."

I could tell he didn't want to, but Daryl let a small smile form. My excitement must have gotten the better of him. "Let's go get it then."

I let Daryl take control of the crossbow again. We needed food and he was obviously much better at using it.

"What happened to you, out there? You said those people that took you came back," Daryl said.

I sighed.

"I have a good memory, too." He glimpsed at me. "Sometimes."

"I was alone," I began, "holed up in a small neighborhood. They must have spotted me there. Anyway, they chased me to a lake nearby. I shot one of them and then walkers took care of him. The other one I—" I paused, remembering Bobby's screams and the smell of his flesh. "I set him on fire."

"Damn," responded Daryl gruffly.

"Then Helen, the leader of that group, tried to drown me. I didn't let her." I squeezed my hands into fists. "After that, I followed the tracks and found Maggie, Sasha, and Bob."

The leaves crunched beneath our feet. Daryl shot another squirrel.

"You good?" he asked.

"Better now, I think. What about you? What happened after Beth was taken?" I wondered, changing the subject.

"Ran with some bad dudes for a while. I didn't know who they were until they tried to kill Rick."

"Is that why Carl got hurt?"

Daryl bit his lip and nodded. "Yeah, they were gonna—" He stopped speaking and scrunched his face. He swallowed hard, trying to push out the words.

I clenched my teeth as my mind pieced together what he was attempting to say. "They're dead?"

Daryl nodded.

"Good."

We continued searching for any clues on who might have been watching us and at the same time trying to hunt down any bigger game. We found nothing on both fronts.

"Should probably head back," Daryl suggested.

"Yeah," I agreed.

The thought of being around Rick again made my stomach go in knots. I should have been happy that we weren't on the best of terms. That's what I wanted after all, wasn't it? To not let myself fall for a man during the end of the world? But I wasn't happy. I'm sure with time I'd move past it but right now it was gnawing at me.

"Why won't Rick talk to me?" I asked Daryl suddenly.

He paused our walk for a moment, caught off guard by the inquiry. "He thought you were dead."

"So? He knows I'm not now. He's acting like I'm a total stranger."

Daryl itched his shoulder. "You should talk to him yourself. Don't think it should be comin' from me."

"Come on, Dixon. You obviously know somethin'," I urged.

"Talk to him, Hawk."

Daryl sped ahead of me. I rolled my eyes before jogging to catch up.

The man tracked our group from the camp. They had been on the move for a few hours so we quickened our pace. In the distance we could see them.

Daryl and I emerged from the brush. Rick instinctively pointed his gun at us.

"Woah, we surrender," Daryl said while holding up his hands, the squirrels dangling.

Rick glared at Daryl before the two began walking next to each other. I fell back with Carl as the men talked.

During our journey, Rick went back and forth from the front of the group to the back. He made sure no one was falling behind and that we weren't being followed. Multiple times, Daryl shot me a look or nodded over to the sheriff. I couldn't tell if he was only trying to push my buttons or if he really wanted me to talk to him. Maybe both.

I crinkled my nose at Daryl before stomping up to Rick as he led everyone. If this would get Daryl off my back, then I might as well rip the bandaid off.

"Rick—" My bravery was swiftly interrupted by a man yelling for help in the distance. I let out a deep breath, "Thank God,"

"Dad, come on," begged Carl. "Come on."

Rick cocked his head to the side before following the cries.

On a large moss-covered rock a man in a priest outfit attempted to kick away the walkers that reached for him. His bald head was covered in sweat. I pushed one of the walkers up against the stone before stabbing it in the back of the head. Rick, Michonne, Carl, and Carol took care of the others.

The man cowered in fear as he looked around at all of us. I'm sure when he called for help he didn't except a small army to show up. Rick got him off the rock and he immediately threw up.

I learned his name was Gabriel. I also learned that he has supposedly not killed any walkers or people. He was either extremely lucky or a liar. He acted off. He was jumpy and a little erratic. Behind his eyes there was something sinful.

___

Glenn, Maggie. Tara, and I brought back silencers, clean clothes, and baby supplies from town to the church. The others were able to get a bunch of food.

My stomach growled as I scooped peaches onto my plate. I got a little bit of everything. It had been so long since I was able to eat more than one type of food at once. This was something I never thought I'd be grateful for.

A dirt-covered hand held out a cup of wine for me to take. I knew who it was instantly. That hand has picked me flowers, held me when I've cried, helped me up every time I've been knocked down. This was the first time that hand has reached out to me since the prison.

I grabbed the glass and our fingers brushed together. My teeth bit down on the inside of my lip.

"Thanks," I said at close to a whisper.

"Of course," Rick answered. He averted his gaze as he began pouring into another glass for the next person in line.

I exhaled slowly and went and sat toward the back of the church.

As I peered up at the pulpit, I suddenly felt like I was a little girl again. I felt my sisters sitting on either side of me in the pew. My mom and dad shushed us because we were being too loud. I kneeled down and prayed for a puppy.

Those memories quickly disappeared when someone sat down next to me.

"Mind if we join you?" Rick asked with Judith in his lap.

I shook my head and used eating my food as an excuse not to reply verbally. I turned away from him slightly before chugging almost half of my wine.

Rick scooped a spoonful of pudding into Judith's mouth. He smiled as she attempted to grab the spoon and do it herself. I wiped some chocolate off of her cheek.

"I used to Catholic, you know," I said. "I did my first communion and confirmation. I knew all of the prayers. I went to confession."

"Why aren't you anymore?" he asked as he took a drink of his own wine.

My eyes darted up toward Jesus hanging on the cross. "There were a lot of reasons. But the biggest one was that I went to too many Catholic funerals. My grandparents. Then an aunt and an uncle. A friend. Then my parents." I downed the rest of the alcohol. "I once told you I thought I was cursed. Well, the people I cared about were dying even before this shit started. I don't believe in God anymore so believing in a curse is the next best thing. It's the only way I can explain why everyone around me dies."

A group at the front of the church laughed. Their glasses clinked together.

"But I don't know if I believe in curses anymore either," I confessed. "We're all here and I didn't end up alone."

The corners of Rick's eyes crinkled. "And I was just starting to believe in 'em," he joked, obviously trying to lighten the mood. His face fell after a moment. "I'm sorry about your family. Truly."

I shrugged. "In a way, I'm lucky. I can sleep at night knowing most of them didn't have to suffer through this."

"I like that way of looking at it." Rick fed Judith her last bite. He stood up with her and looked down at me. His blue eyes pierced through my body. I swear he could see my soul. "It's a good thing you found them."

My jaw clenched. Them. Not us. Not I'm glad I found you. In that simple statement he had completely detached himself from me. I no longer needed to ask him why he avoided our interactions. It was clear that we were now just people that survived together. No longer friends with the potential for anything more.

As Rick walked to the front of the church, Abraham clinked his glass. He gave a speech about saving the world. But that was all just static to me.

I grabbed a half empty bottle of red wine before I exited the church. Someone, I think Tara, tried to talk to me, but I walked right past. I sat on the front steps and stared up at the constellations. By the time I had finished the wine, Bob came out. He didn't ask me questions. He only hugged me and convinced me to go back inside to get some rest. I don't think I could argue with that man even if I tried.

As soon as I entered, I laid down in the back pew. I knew others were looking at me, but I didn't grant them the satisfaction of me looking back. My eyelids shut and I fell into a very light sleep which was only interrupted when Bob, Carol, and Daryl went missing.