At dawn I woke up, like usual. I got dressed and went out of my cell. Rick was already up feeding Judith. His white shirt clung to his torso.

"Mornin'," I whispered.

"Good mornin'," he responded, lightly brushing Judith's hair with his fingers.

The baby smiled at me and I returned the favor. I let her grab my finger while I squished her big cheeks.

I grabbed a handful of green grapes Rick had sitting out on the table. "I'll see you down by the pigs?"

Rick nodded. "I was just about to wake Carl up. You got the water? It's getting low."

"You know I do," I said, popping a grape in my mouth. I pointed at Judith. "Don't get into too much trouble while I'm gone."

The youngest Grimes giggled while the eldest grinned.

After going to the bathroom, I drove the four-wheeler over to the jugs. As I loaded the buckets up, Carl and Rick walked down to the pens. I drove down to them as they fed the pigs. Michonne was leaving again on her quest to find the Governor.

When I got close, I seemed to be interrupting a serious question from Carl. He stared patiently as he held onto a metal pail. Rick looked up at me and I got a bucket off my transportation. He glanced back at Carl and smiled and bit his lip.

"Worms will give them extra protein," Rick told his son.

I poured the first water bucket into the tank. As I walked back over for the other, gunfire sounded from the prison.

"Stay close," the man said to Carl as he rushed out of the pen.

I ran to the four-wheeler and knocked the second bucket off. The water soaked into the grass.

"Get on!" I instructed Rick.

"Cell block?" Maggie shouted for the guard tower.

"I don't know," Rick responded while he hopped on the four-wheeler, sitting behind me. Before I took off he pointed to Carl. "Get in the tower with Maggie. Don't argue, go."

Rick held on to the back bars as I sped up the hill. I slowed down so he could get off and open the gate. Rick ran as I drove into the courtyard.

"Walkers in D!" Glenn shouted with a machetes in hand.

"What about C?!" Rick yelled back.

I got of the four-wheeler and sprinted to catch up with Rick.

Sasha, Daryl, and Tyreese exited cellblock C.

"Clear," said Sasha. "We locked the gates to the tombs. Hershel's on guard."

"It ain't a breach," Daryl confirmed.

"We followed the plan," Sasha continued.

I ran with the group to D. Glenn tossed me a machete. When we got inside it was complete chaos. Walkers, our friends, were attacking the surviving people in the cellblock.

Allen was attempting to shoot the walkers with a shotgun. Daryl snatched it from his hands and gave it to Rick. Glenn and I ran past them. He sliced a walker that was coming down the stairs as Daryl scooped up scared Luke on the floor.

A walker reached for Karen as she was opening her cell for other kids to get it. I swung down and put the machete right down the middle of its face.

"You got all the kids?" I shouted to Carol.

"I don't know. Check upstairs!" she responded.

I sprinted up the metal steps.

"Are we clear down here?" Rick asked. "We're safe?"

"Yeah, yeah," Sasha said.

I heard shuffling by the cells. I held my machete high, ready to attack if needed. I signaled for Daryl to come up with me. He nodded and quietly ascended the stairs. I peaked into the cells, trying to see if there were any walkers or terrified people. I came up to a cell that had a white sheet covering the entryway. As I moved it, there was a growl and a pair of arms grabbed at me. I got shoved up against the wall and dropped my machete. I grabbed the walkers forearms and used my knee to keep it from biting me.

Then, I looked up and saw its face. Patrick.

"Get down!" Daryl yelled.

Without a thought, I slid down the wall. An arrow shot through the air into the kids head. Rick approached and held out his hand for me. I took it and got back on my feet.

Glenn, Daryl, Rick, and I stared at the boy after Rick moved the sheet out of the way.

"Oh, it's Patrick," Daryl said. "That's all of 'em."

I pushed past Rick and went into the cell. I squatted down next to the boy. Blood ran down his face from his eyes, ears, and mouth. I grabbed his hand.

A sob escaped my throat.

After a moment, the sheet closed and the men left me. I continued to hold his hand and cry. I shook my head before wiping my tears away. When I got to my feet, Dr. S peeked inside.

"Can I look at him?" he asked.

I gestured to the boy. The doctor kneeled down and examined Patrick. As he did that, I looked around his cell. His To Kill a Mockingbird novel sat on his bed along with pages of notes. My lip trembled at the sight.

"Just like I thought," said Dr. S.

"What?" I questioned, turning to him.

"He died from an infection. He wasn't bitten. He choked on his blood and then attacked everyone else."

I snatched the notebook from the bed, stomped out of the cell, ripped some pages out, and threw them over the railing. I yelled as ripped more and more pages out. The paper with Patrick's handwriting floated down like a white bird on the breeze.

"Jolene, stop," Glenn said as he grabbed my arm.

I yanked it away from him. I tossed the empty notebook down at his feet. As I walked toward the stairs Rick tried reaching out for me but I shoved my body against him to get past.

"Jo!" Rick said after me.

Everyone stared at me as I made my way out of cellblock D. I could hear someone running behind me but I didn't turn around. I went to the library and to the bulletin board. I stared at the empty space where Patrick's test was supposed to be.

I screamed and ripped down the papers and decorations I had stapled up there. Tears streamed down my face. Arms wrapped around me to stop me from the damage I was doing.

"Let me go!" I exclaimed as I wriggled around, out of the person's grip.

I swiveled to see Rick staring at me, concerned. "You need to calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down!"

Rick glanced at his feet then back to me. "I'm sorry. But you have to be okay right now. You're worrying everyone."

I gripped the bridge of my nose. "I can't be okay right now because Patrick is gone! He was supposed to take his test today and it was supposed to be on that board." I pointed to the now bare cork. "He died from choking on his own fucking blood. How stupid is that?"

My chest heaved as I tried to control my breathing.

"He took so many notes and he was so confident that he'd do well. Even if he didn't get 100% I was going to tell him how proud I was. I found a grape soda on a run to give him because he told me they were his favorite. But now he's gone. He didn't even have a chance to fight," I said. "I was supposed to protect him, Rick. I was supposed to be there for him. He was such a smart and sweet kid. Now he's just gone."

"I'm- I'm sorry, Jo. He was a good kid," Rick stammered.

"Sorry doesn't bring him back, does it? It doesn't bring any of them back."

In that moment, I wasn't just thinking about the people from our prison that died, I was thinking about everyone I had lost all at once.

My legs shook and began falling to the floor. Rick caught me before I crashed down. I sobbed into his shoulder as he rubbed my back.

"Just leave me alone," I whispered. "Please."

"Okay," Rick murmured.

He let go of me gently. I put my head in my hands and didn't look as he left me in the library.

___

My eyes were still puffy and red as I went outside into the fresh air. Carol told me I couldn't go back in cellblock C since I had been exposed to the sickness. Carl said he'd gather my stuff for me when we figured out a place for those who could get sick to go.

Rick and Daryl were down by the graveyard. Daryl dug more holes for the bodies. Some of the flowers were dug up but I could tell he was being careful not to get all of them. With how many people died today, I was going to need a lot more.

"Rick, Daryl!" Maggie yelled.

My head darted over to a section of the fence that was now being overrun with walkers. I grabbed a sharpened broomstick and sprinted down. Maggie, Rick, Daryl, Glenn, Tyreese, and Sasha were already there stabbing through the metal. I joined the group and did as they did.

The fence was shaking and bending from the mass amount of walkers pushing against it.

"Are you seeing this?" Sasha asked over the growls.

I walked over and saw at least eight dead rats lying on the gravel.

"What the hell?" I gasped.

"Is someone feeding these things?" continued Sasha.

"Heads up!" Daryl said as the fence began caving in even more.

I tried to stab, but it started leaning in on top of us. All of us held onto the fence, trying to keep it up. But more and more walkers pressed against it. Their decaying flesh smashing through.

"It's gonna give! It's gonna give!" Rick screamed.

Our attempts at pushing it up were no use. If we couldn't get the walkers away, it would fall.

"Everybody back!" Daryl instructed. "Come on, back, now."

I stepped away and observed the carnage.

"What do we do?" I asked. "If we don't do something we're going to be overrun."

Rick rubbed his face. "Daryl, get the truck. I know what needs to be done."

The man looked over at the pig pen.

"I'm coming with you," I told him.

He shook his head. "No, it's too dangerous. I can do this myself."

"You're not telling me what to do this time, Grimes. You don't have a gun, so I'm coming with you."

Rick squinted his eyes. "Fine. Let's go."

The two of us ran to the pens. Daryl backed the car and trailer up to us. The men loaded a wooden box up in the trailer as I grabbed one of the pigs. I put it in the box while Daryl and Rick did the same.

Rick and I got into the trailer and Daryl drove to the gates. I got low so I could stabilize myself against the box. Maggie opened the gate for us to get the through.

When the walkers noticed us, a good amount started coming our way.

"Let's go!" said Daryl.

I nodded, leaned down in the box, and wrangled one of the pigs. Rick took it from my arms. He used his knife to cut into it before throwing it into the grass. Daryl pulled forward. We continued this until all the pigs were gone and Rick was covered in their blood.

___

Rick and I tore apart the pen in silence. We piled all the boards together in one heap. This was something we both dedicated our days too, Rick more than I. But now it was gone in an instant and it was our job to lay it rest.

Carl walked toward us.

"Not this time," his father said.

"Think the pigs made them sick?" Carl wondered.

"Or, we made the pigs sick." Rick and I threw more boards down. "I think we should stay away from Judy a while. Just in case."

"Okay."

"I don't like it but—" began Rick.

"We have to protect her," Carl finished.

"Yes, we do."

Carl looked at me with an expression that said he was sorry before he said, "Hey, dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Carol's been teaching kids how to use weapons. How to kill. Their parents don't know and she doesn't want you to know. Jo has been letting her do it."

I glared at the boy but he wouldn't meet my gaze.

Carl sighed. "I think you should let her. I know you're going to say it's not up to you. But it can be."

Rick looked around anywhere but his son or me. I was waiting for him to get angry with me but instead he lifted the gas canister and poured it on the pile.

I bit my lip and joined Carl.

"Dad."

"Thank you for telling me," Rick said with gruff voice.

"Rick, I should've said something. But I wanted her to do it. I want those kids to have a chance in this world," I explained. "I didn't want to take the chance of it getting shut down."

"I won't stop her," the man spoke. "I won't say anything." He peered down at me. "But I wish you didn't keep it a secret from me."

"Yeah," I sighed.

Rick took a match a struck it against a wooden post. He then threw it into the pile. The flames grew higher as more of the boards caught. I stood watching it as Rick called his son over.

Rick handed Carl his gun before putting on his holster. The familiar Colt Python shined in the sun.

The man met me at the fire. He winced as he peeled off his blood-soaked shirt. He looked at it for moment before tossing it in the flames. The blood around his neck dripped down his torso.

"I liked that shirt," I said, breaking our silence.

"Me too."

Rick and I continued to watch all of our hard work be eaten by flames. So many hours wasted on hauling water and food was now reduced to ash. Everything we had built up was crumbling at our feet.