TRIGGER WARNING: PTSD IN THIS CHAPTER!! If you are not comfortable with reading this sort of thing, you might want to wait a chapter. I promise, you will know everything you need to know from this chapter in the next if you decide to skip this chapter.

I don't own anything.
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Orson's P.O.V.

It's morning. Andor hasn't come back yet and there's been no sign of Rook planning to leave his room anytime soon. I don't remember ever worrying about others in my entire lifetime as much as I am worrying in my dead time. With a sigh, I begin making some breakfast out of whatever I could find in the fridge.

I make omelettes for the three of us. The smell doesn't seem to bring the two rebels out (which is kind of a childish act if you think about it but I guess I was hoping it would work) So I plate an omelette and bring it to Rook's room.

Rook is there, lying on his bed and looking like he's died. The thing that gives him away is his blinking eyes. I'm not comfortable with talking to someone who's upset. I never know what to say. So I figure the best thing to do is to state the obvious. "I brought you something to eat." Wow. That sounded terrible. Great job, Orson.

Rook sits up and takes the plate. "Thanks... you didn't poison it, did you?"

"You bandaged me up. Why would I poison it?" I smile and somehow it makes Rook smile back.

"Thanks," he mutters again. Rook takes a few bites. "Dis ish de-wish-sus," he says with a mouthful.

I'm glad he thinks so. He already looks better than he did two seconds ago. I begin to wonder why he was so upset. Should I ask? Before I can answer that question, my voice box makes the decision for me. "Is everything alright between you and An-Cassian?"

Rook nods, but his head dips down and pain clouds his brown eyes. "Yeah... Cassian... Cassian's going through a hard time. Unlike you, he didn't have a very pleasant time crossing over to the the Realm of Muertos."

"Should I go check on him or should I let you do that?"

Rook doesn't answer for a while. When he does, it's barely audible. "Is he in his room?"

"No. He went outside and never came back in."

"Then yes, please go check on him. And bring that staff over there." Rook points to the corner of his room. I walk over and pick up the staff. Why a staff? My confusion must have shown because Rook answers with "You'll have a better chance of survival if you have to fight monsters."

"Thank you," I said and leave the room, the staff clutched tightly in my hand. I'm a hopeless staff fighter so I just have to hope that no creatures decide to pounce on me.

Andor isn't hanging around the house. Nor is he anywhere in seeing distance. I grumble and begin walking around the perimeter of the area, making small marks with the staff so I can find my way back to the cottage. Where is he? I'm assuming that he's just hiding and hasn't been eaten by a bigger animal yet. After all, he did defeat that creature that attacked me last night.

Eventually, I reach a beach area. I see Andor sitting in the sand, staring out across the horizon. He glances my way when I approach him. "What do you want?" He mutters.

"I wanted to make sure you're okay."

"Since when did you care if a rebel is okay or not?"

"Since I died. Apparently, the line between the rebels and the Empire disappears and now we're all just ex-fighters of the physical war."

Andor pauses to consider my words. "You want something from me, don't you? Or did Bodhi send you this way without a choice?"

"Well... I kind of volunteered to look for you and yes, I do want something. I'd like to know what happened when you crossed over to the realm of... realm of the dead." I couldn't remember the name he and Bodhi had used for the realm.

Andor looks down at the sand near his feet. He mutters something that sounds like "I don't want to talk about it." I wonder if I should press him into telling me. I decide against and just nod, accepting his answer. Suddenly, Andor starts to cry. At the same time, he begins to tell me what happened...

Cassian's P.O.V.

Three weeks ago...

Jyn isn't scared. And neither am I. If we were scared, we didn't show it. I couldn't even feel anything except Jyn's warmth against mine. This was how I was going to die and I accepted that. My mission was complete. I didn't need anything else.

The bright yellow dome of the explosion overlapped Jyn and I. It felt like a light breeze, which is not how I expected to feel when being disintegrated into ash. When I open my eyes, I was floating in a yellowish dome. Jyn is still hugging me but she releases me when I stir. For some reason, the two of us hold each other's hand as we float through the yellow dome towards a purplish swirl. We glide into the swirl. And that's when things went to hell.

Pictures of our dead friends flash before our eyes. A powerful force tugs at our bodies, trying to tear us apart. Jyn refuses to let go of my hand, struggling to fight the momentum that's slowly causing us to lose out grip on one another. Then our hands snap apart. "Cassian!" She shrieks as she's whisked away.

I try to yell for her but the air seems to be sucked out of my lungs. My body is wrapped in black dust stuff. I can't breathe and I can't see. I can feel pain ripping through me as something tries to pull me apart. In my ear, a ghostly voice is whispering all the names of everyone who mattered to me dying.

Then I hear K-2SO's voice. He's crying out in agony, a sound that breaks my heart. I manage to break away from the black dust and see large mite-like creatures chopping through his metal. Not too far away is Jyn, floating limply. "K2! Jyn!" I scream and try to help them. One of the mite creatures floats towards me and open's its large jaws. Just before the jaws snap on me, I'm pulled away into a dark area.

Everything that I have done and anything that I regret started appearing in my mind. Except I saw the toll of my actions and how they affected others. I hate this. I hate seeing the other side of what my actions have caused. I cry for whatever-it-is to stop but the images become clearer and clearer.

"Please!" I beg. "Stop this!" My lungs burn as I speak, begging for air that I can't give them. I try to take some deep breaths but my breathing is jagged and shallow. It takes me a moment to realize I'm crying.

I'm tossed around again. The voices, the images, the pain, it's all there now. I don't remember much else up until my body hits something extremely hard. I roll across the hard surface for what feels like an eternity before I come to a stop. I'm on solid ground. Not too far away is the purplish swirl thing. And in the middle of it is Jyn, who is being pulled apart by the same black dust.

"Jyn!" I wail and try to go help her. My legs refuse to help me and my arms barely have enough strength to support my body. I'm useless. I watch helplessly as the purple swirl shuts on Jyn. The last thing I hear is her dying scream.

Present

The memory of the black dust engrossing my body sweeps over me. I can see the purple swirl thing slowly shut with Jyn inside it, and each time this memory occurs, I try to save her. But I'm always too weak to move.

A spasm in my chest makes me realize that I'm not getting any air. I fall to my side, trying to breathe. My head is spinning and I can't see straight. I feel like I'm going to die.

Strong arms lift me to a sitting position. It feels like the black dust is trying to wrap my body again and I make an attempt to attack whatever it is. I can hear my name being repeated into my ear over and over again. "Shut up! Shut up!" I scream. The black dust is covering my eyes again. I cry even harder.

"Cassian! Open your eyes!" The voice calls. I don't want to. What if I see everyone dying again? What if I see the jaws of that giant mite creatures. "Trust me!" The voice says.

I can't open my eyes. Whatever it is that's on my has something over my eyes. "I can't see! Let me go!" My efforts pay off eventually and the arms release me for a moment. But only a moment.

"Open your eyes. Trust me," the voice says again. I struggle to do so, fearing that what I'll see, I'll regret my whole life. But part of me wants to wake from this wretched dream. I slowly open my eyes and look up into soft, blue eyes.

I don't think I would have ever thought Orson Krennic's presence would be so relieving. Orson wraps his arms protectively around my body and gently pushes my head forward until it's resting against his chest.

Everything is a blur to my memory after that. Everything except for the feeling of stress being released in a way it hadn't before.
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This wasn't the easiest thing to write. I had slight PTSD at one point and tried to revolve the chapter around my memories of how I felt. I don't think it worked to well.

Please review!