Name: BooksCult

Cover: The cover has an illustrative appeal,  reminiscent of the first edition of A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness. The layout itself is far too static. There is no hierarchy. Everything is the same size and there is no focal point to draw the eye. Playing with a more horizontal placement of the title and choosing a font that can be easier to manipulate could help. Checking the Wattpad image sizes before creating a book cover, will also aid with spacing to avoid crowding the margin or cutting the text off (e.g. the author's name at the bottom).

Blurb: "I know I am real."

I can't feel, breath and I don't feel hunger. But I am real, first of all, because she believes I exist. Her belief is all I need.

Well, I don't have any other demands.

"I am her Tulpa."

The break down: This blurb tells straight away what to expect from the book. Not by what it says, but by how it says it. The writing is weak. Repetitive. And contradictory. Ergo, this is the content to come. For example: "feel" is used twice in the first line. The first feel is already introductory, there is no need for the second.  The "first of all" statement indicates the start of a list, which is useless because there are no "other demands." 

A stronger rework could be: "I can't feel. Not a breath on my skin or hunger in my belly. But I am real because she believes I exist, and that is all I need. I am her Tulpa."

The blurb in itself is a teaser. If written better, it might be ominous and set the mood but it'd still be short and easily passed over.

First chapter:  The story is bold. Opening a book with extreme and flagrant child abuse takes metal. It is also dark from the get-go, very dark, with the main character having zero compassion for other people in much the same way she has experienced zero compassion in her life. There is a plethora of damaged psyches to explore here, as well as an implied supernatural element. And that is a draw. 

The break down: 

 + The opening paragraph is ambiguous. This can work, even if it is confusing to the reader, but only if grammar and structure are sound and here it isn't. (For an example of a well-constructed ambiguous opening, read the prologue of "Fiendish" by Brenna Yovanoff.)     

+ Like the blurb, the structure of the first chapter is poor. The tense changes from present to past in the span of a sentence and each sentence is the same length. There is no rhythm. 

+ The descriptions are a narrative summary. Every action, emotion, and thought is told to the audience. There is nothing to learn here beyond being led from point A) to point B) of the plotline. Brushing up on what it means to Show v.s. Tell will help. Side note: Many of the similes are offset by "quotation marks" for some reason. This is not necessary.

+ The story itself seems to be told by the Tulpa. This is gathered from the blurb. The story is divided between first-person Deep POV and third-person omniscient with scene breaks. Jumping between, even with a dinkus (***), is distracting since there is no discernable writing style to link them. Fleshing out and setting up the Tulpa's narration to allow it/him/her to actually tell (this is different from show v.s. tell, this is cementing a perspective) the story of Oksana to the audience would help it flow better and make it more interesting.

+ Keeping track of what happens to the main character from scene to scene aids in believability.  A character who has their behind brutally whipped with a belt, won't be able to sit down on a mahogany chair soon after. If this is a daily occurrence as is stated, she'd most likely be hospitalized by now. Also, having her head bashed on the floor has serious consequences. When she falls asleep at the end of the ordeal, medically speaking, she won't wake up.  Side note: there is an element of violent "molestation" involved here, with the mother's fixation on her daughter's genitalia, which should never be used solely for shock value. 

+ Dialogue is important, too! Use punctuation after a spoken sentence. Stick to the speech modifier "said" and let the characters words and actions set the tone. And minimize the use of "beats" in between dialogue  (e.g. the action in the middle of the "talking") for a snappier, cleaner read.

+  Adding relevant tags for the story would be a good step in circulation and a way of letting the reader know what to expect. Something as simple as #childabuse #bullying can also serve as a trigger warning.

"What Waits for Us After Sunset?"  has potential to be a dark trip inside the mind of a physically and emotionally abused child. Several drafts and a better grasp of writing and plot mechanics will do the story justice.