Name: BBQueenoftheworld

Cover: Not a bad black and white cover. The end of  the title starts blending into the background image but it is still visible, clear, and something about that chalk like text is delightfully creepy that matches the blurred figure below. There is a evil child vibe happening here and it definitely fits the high school horror tags. 

Blurb: "Don't play with the Devil, he always cheats."

But they didn't listen, or maybe, they didn't know.

This is a short blurb. Almost a little too short but it does intrigue and the tags give the reader enough side knowledge to fill in the blanks. The use of the quote is effective and the answering statement gives an interesting twist of agency to the characters. They are either willfully ignoring a warning, or ignorant of their circumstances. You could add more but this does work well as a hook.

First Chapter: This first chapter was a decent opener. It could use some editing to smooth the flow of the chapter but overall this is a good introduction to the character. Careful of overusing adjectives and 'list' descriptions. Breaking up the chapter into sections helped keep us in the characters head but the sudden interaction at the end between Scarlet and the two girls (who may or may not have been girly girls?) had no clear lead in and was very abrupt coming off the previous paragraph. Smoothing that transition would be less confusing to the readers. Ending the chapter on a question is a good technique for both engaging the audience and creating a note of mystery.