Author:@quietEcstasy

Cover:

I feel like there is a lot going on, but it is a pretty cover for sure.

Blurb:

Intriguing.Makes me want to know what Asteria's secret is.

Chapter 1:

The first paragraph makes me want to read on. It is well written and interesting. I like how Asteria refuses to put down her mom's book so that she can get to sleep early.

The story takes a dip after the start. I believe the whole middle bit needs some work. There are a few parts that I felt were out of place or choppy. There is a dialogue between Astaria and a boy where she asked 'Have you seen mom?' and he replies 'The doctor?' Is the boy new to the village? I had a feeling the village folk knew each other and they knew Astaria's mom is the doctor, I was confused.

Another thing I wasn't 100% sold on, Astaria and her friends speak very much like teens nowadays and it clashed with the mythical feel of the story. I would have liked to see other words used in conversation. For example, her friend used the word 'guy', this felt very slang. A few changes to some of the vocabulary would give this story a more fairy/fantasy-feel...and speaking of FAIRIES, loved them. I though the description of them was sweet.

Though the story starts off a bit mellow, it picks up quite nicely 2/3rds down. The golden sphere Astaria's mom was talking to/on was very clever! I strongly think this story has potential.

Good luck, darkling!