Disclaimer : All Fairy Tail Characters Belong to Hiro Mashima.

And I'll show you the road to follow
I'll keep you safe till tomorrow
I'll pull you away from sorrow
I see the real you
Even if you don't I do

The Real You - Three Days Grace

Chapter 4: The Real You

Natsu could hear noises somewhere around him but he couldn't make sense of them. There were times when he missed his magic, mostly the enhanced senses that were a natural part of his Dragonslayer magic. He opened his eyes but had to close them quickly, wherever he was it was too bright. Where was he? He sniffed the air around him for clues and immediately recognized the smell of alcohol and disinfectant. He frowned in distaste and opened his eyes again, this time he was able to keep them open. He was on a strange bed in what appeared to be a healer's house, if the smell was any indication. It reminded him of Porlyusica's place but it was different enough to let him know that's not where he was.

"How are you feeling?" An older looking woman entered the room. Her graying hair was put up in a bun and she wore loose fitting clothes. She reached out to touch his forehead and Natsu wrinkled his nose at the strong smell that was coming from her hands. She chuckled as she saw his expression.

"I'm sorry about that, I did wash my hands but the potion I'm making uses an unusually strong smelling ingredient. It will probably stick around for a few days." She walked towards the room's window and opened it. She made her way over to a sink and filled a cup with water. She brought it over to him and gestured for him to sit up. He accepted it gratefully and drank while keeping an eye on the healer.

"You must have a lot of questions." the healer smiled at him.

Natsu nodded slowly, the water was making him feel like he could finally speak. "How did I get here?"

The healer began to answer when she was distracted by a blue cat flying through the window and hurling itself at her patient.

"Happy?" Natsu asked with surprise. "How are you here?"

"Stupid Gray left without us!" Happy cried. "Don't worry, Erza got him good when we found you guys." Happy smiled, satisfied that Gray had been dealt a fitting punishment for leaving them behind.

"Erza, Gray?" Natsu groaned. This was not good, he had left to get away from those guys.

"How could you leave me, Natsu?" Happy cried into his shirt. Natsu looked down at his Exceed and quickly realized that the clothes he was wearing were not his, they were Gray's. Why couldn't he remember anything?

"I'm sorry, Happy." Natsu tried to explain, "I thought you'd be better off with Wendy than with me in a dank cave."

"You should have let me decide that." Happy said angrily, "I was miserable without you. I want to stay with you. We can always visit sometime, can't we?"

"No, Happy. We can't." Natsu said making his voice firm so there would be no misunderstanding. "I'm dangerous, it's best for everyone if I stay away." He petted the blue cat. "I am happy to see you, though. I missed you."

Happy remained quiet sensing now was not the time to argue with Natsu. He could only hope that Gray and Erza could talk some sense into him, although Gray had been acting strangely ever since he and Erza had found them. He'd go off by himself for hours, no one knew where.

"Can someone please tell me what happened?" Natsu asked of Happy and the healer.

"Gray found you a few days ago, you were feverish and hallucinating. He didn't know where he could find a healer so he tried to take care of you in your cave. Erza and I arrived the next day. You give terrible directions by the way." Happy glared at him but continued. "Erza sent me to find the nearest town with a healer. After trying a few towns I found Miss Lisbeth and she was willing to help you. I flew her over to the cave and she determined you needed more help than she could give you there so we used Erza's luggage cart to bring you here."

"You were fighting a high fever for a few days, you were also dehydrated and malnourished." Lisbeth looked at him sternly. "It did not appear you were taking very good care of yourself."

Natsu avoided her gaze as best he could and looked at his wrists glad to see the bracelets had not been removed. Lisbeth followed his gaze and frowned.

"You really shouldn't wear those for long periods of time." Lisbeth said trying to sound matter of fact, even though she wanted nothing more than to scream at this young man about the stupidity of his choices. "Even prisoners only wear them during transport. Separating yourself from your magic can be very traumatizing to your body. Your magic is a part of you and it needs to be released regularly. Your friend mentioned you might have been wearing these for as long as two months. I wouldn't be surprised if that was one of the reasons you became ill. You should get them removed immediately."

Lisbeth noticed Natsu's muscles immediately tense and sighed. She changed the topic, sensing that any more pushing on her part would not help the situation. "Your friends have been staying at the village inn since I had no room for them here, would you like Happy to go let them know you're awake?"

Natsu shook his head sullenly and Happy sighed. This was going to be a lot harder than they had anticipated. He settled into the bed with his Dragon Slayer and snuggled close trying not to notice how cold Natsu's body was. They both fell asleep soon after as Lisbeth watched over them with a worried expression, this boy needed more help than she could provide. She had already done all she could for him.

o-o

"It's those damn bracelets that are the problem." Erza fumed as they sat in the inn's restaurant having breakfast, "I still don't understand, why didn't you destroy them the moment you saw them?"

"You didn't see him Erza. He's terrified of himself right now. Those bracelets are the only thing giving him peace." Gray explained for what felt like the fifth time. Erza liked to attack problems head on, even more than Natsu. Gray had no choice but to give her the information he'd been purposefully withholding. He was afraid that if he didn't make things painfully clear to her, she would do something rash. "I don't understand all of it but when he saw me he thought he'd killed me. It was awful. I...I think he's been seeing Lucy."

Erza blanched, she hadn't even considered that possibility. "Dear Mavis!" she said as she covered her mouth with her hand.

"There's more." Gray continued, "That sonofabitch Lahar was messing with Natsu's head while they had him in custody. It sounds like he convinced Natsu that Lucy's death was not an accident, he told Natsu he was a filthy mage killer."

"That's preposterous!" Erza yelled. "Natsu is incapable of killing anyone, even his enemies."

"I know that, Erza." Gray replied impatiently, "But Natsu doesn't know that right now, he has to want to take the bracelets off himself. Anything else and he'll disappear again."

"I'm sure when we get him back to Fairy Tail, we can talk some sense into him."

"He's not planning on going back to Fairy Tail." Gray informed the requip mage.

"What are you talking about? Of course he is, Fairy Tail is his home."

"There's one last thing I haven't told you." Gray said and once again he felt something akin to pain at Natsu's rejection of their family, even though he understood he was trying to protect them in his own way. When Erza had arrived Natsu had been wearing one of Gray's shirts so she had not seen and for that Gray had been glad. "Natsu removed his guild mark, he's not a part of Fairy Tail any longer."

Erza sat quietly, shock written all over her face until she finally burst. "What?!"

"You heard me." Gray responded and added with steel in his voice to let Erza know his mind was made up, "I'm not going back either. We either go back together or not at all."

"There's something you're not telling me." Erza tried to stare him down but was surprised by the determination in her foster brother's face. Whatever Gray was hiding, he planned to keep it to himself.

"He and I have some things we need to discuss." This was the closest he had come to admitting what had transpired in the cave and he could feel Erza's curious gaze on him.

Erza seemed to think for a moment before making up her mind. "Then I will stay as well. He has been away from us for too long. He needs to remember who he is and what we mean to him. Since we were little we've always depended on each other. If tough love is what he needs, we will give it to him."

"This is not going to be solved by knocking our heads together and getting us to behave, Erza." Gray said exasperated. "This is serious."

"You think I don't know that?" Erza seethed. "I'm not stupid, Gray. Lucy's dead, as far as Natsu is concerned it doesn't get more serious than that. He killed a friend, with his magic. What is our plan of action?"

Gray bit his lip, he'd spent the last few days trying to figure out the best way to help his friend and he still had no clear idea how to manage it. His mind kept returning to what Natsu had said to him and to what he had felt on hearing the words.

"We stay with him until he's better, and we stop using our magic until he chooses to use his again."

"Not use our magic?" Erza protested immediately. "I'm not wearing those dreadful cuffs."

"Good, cause one of us has to be able to break them when he finally changes his mind." Gray said with more confidence than he felt. "Now, where do we get a pair?"

"Leave it to me." the requip mage replied with a smile that made Gray decidedly nervous. "I'll take care of everything."

o-o

"Hello, Natsu." Erza said in a tone of voice that was both formal and awkward. She hated the way she sounded but she couldn't help it. This was not the type of situation that Erza was comfortable with. She could fight any monster without breaking a sweat but seeing someone she cared about in pain made her revert to her child self, scared and unsure.

'I don't want to lose you!' Erza screamed inside her head, over and over like a mantra as she gazed down at Natsu laying down on the healer's bed. He looked defeated, devoid of life, something she had never seen in him before and it terrified her. Natsu and Gray were her family. She would do anything to protect them from harm and yet she had failed to keep Natsu from getting to this point. She had been selfish, so caught up in her own pain that she had lost track of the fact that others were in pain as well. In that time her foster brother had plummeted to a depth she could never have anticipated. The guilt ate away at her and she promised herself that she would fix this, she would do anything it took to bring Natsu back to himself.

Gray watched Erza from a distance as he talked to Lisbeth about the bracelets he was holding in his hands. Lisbeth was looking at him in dismay as she rattled off what he could expect once he locked the bracelets. She stopped mid list and pleaded, "Are you sure you can't come up with a better plan? This is a bad idea. He needs to get his removed immediately as it is."

"He needs to want to do it himself, otherwise he will find some other more permanent way to remove his magic. Trust me, I know this stubborn bastard better than anyone. This will work."

"How can you be so sure?" Lisbeth demanded, "You're putting yourself in serious danger in the hopes that it will get through to him."

"It will work." Gray repeated, trying to convince the both of them. "It has to."

He was taking a huge gamble and he knew it. Just because Natsu had said he was in love with him while in the middle of a powerful hallucination didn't mean that seeing Gray in pain would cause him to change his mind, but Gray hoped it did. Natsu was selfless to a fault and he was counting on that fact. He knew he was being a manipulative asshole, but he needed Natsu back, and he was willing to play dirty to get what he wanted. It's not like the fire bastard hadn't pulled something similar on Galuna when he'd stood in front of him to prevent him from using his Iced Shell.

"You're both elemental mages, and this magic that's inside of you affects your body's ability to regulate your internal temperature to house your magic. I've been doing some research on Natsu's magic since it's so rare. His magic is due to an enchantment that was placed on him by his dragon. It replaced some of his human organs with dragon ones capable of using and controlling fire. I no longer think he's ill in the way that we first thought, I think without the enchantment his human body is rejecting his dragon organs. If he doesn't take those damn bracelets off soon he might die. You need to make him understand that."

Gray listened as the healer explained how the bracelets were affecting his friend and he was filled with panic. No, he refused to have that happen. They would make him see, they would save him in time.

"You're an ice mage, in your case your body is maintained at a temperature that is cold enough for you to manipulate ice but still warm enough that your organs can function properly. If you are disconnected from your magic there is nothing regulating your body temperature it will continue to plummet until you are freezing yourself from the inside. I can't stress enough how serious this is, it can kill you! I really must ask you to reconsider."

"I appreciate your concern but my mind is made up." He gave Lisbeth a curt nod and walked into the room to see Natsu.

"I don't want to stay in a house, Erza!" Natsu yelled. "I didn't ask you to come get me and I don't want you here. I'm going back to my cave."

"You will do no such thing, Natsu Dragneel." Erza yelled back, "Surely you don't expect me to live in a cave?"

"I expect you to go back home." Natsu growled. "Who asked you to stay, anyway?"

"Natsu, be nice to Erza before she gets scaaary." Happy whined from his spot on the bed. "Calm down you guys, Natsu is still sick."

Natsu heard chuckling and froze. He turned towards the noise and was faced with the person he most wanted to see. He remained quiet for a second as he took in Gray's amused expression. "The hell are you laughing at, Droopy Eyes?"

"It's just the first normal thing I have heard in months." Gray replied with a smile, trying to act like he wasn't still freaking out at the information Lisbeth had given him. He placed his hands over his pockets feeling the magic sealing bracelets he was keeping in them and tried to figure out when he should put them on.

"Let the pyro have his way Erza." Gray looked at Erza giving her a small nod as Natsu smirked at her, thrilled at having won.

Until he heard the next words. 'I'll babysit him."

"The hell you will, Princess!" Natsu roared causing Gray to laugh at him.

"Erza, you and Happy can stay at the inn. I'll take Natsu home and stay with him until he's better."

"That sounds acceptable, I wasn't particularly looking forward to staying in a cave anyway. "Although that was an awfully nice cave." She smiled at Natsu, a glint shining in her eye.

'Oi, I'm talking to you. I said no. I don't need anyone to watch over me." Natsu scowled at his friends. He lifted his shirt sleeve and showed them his right shoulder in an effort to get them to leave him alone. "You see this? I'm not part of Fairy Tail anymore so you can go home and take your friendship bullshit with you. Oh and tell Romeo I'm disappointed in him." He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Yeah, cause you've done such a great job already." Gray rolled his eyes at him, making Natsu feel like a child which only served to irritate him further. "Newsflash, Ashbrain. You might have quit Fairy Tail, but we haven't quit you. So like it or not-," Gray took the opportunity to get in Natsu's face to get his message across as he gestured to both Erza and himself. "we're not going anywhere without you."

Erza watched the two boys interact and her heart swelled. This is how things should be. Despite all his complaining she could see Natsu weakening, even though he was trying to pretend otherwise. She smiled to herself, these two dorks always brought out the best and the worst in each other. It was why she had insisted they form a team in the first place. Part of it had been that she had been sad the three of them had drifted apart after she became an S-Class rated mage, but she had also always recognized this potential force they could become if they worked together. Lucy had been a good addition to the team as well, and Erza knew that no matter where Lucy was she would want Natsu to heal. They would do this for her just as much as for Natsu.

Lisbeth entered the room and cleared her throat to make her presence known. Three pairs of eyes locked on her with varying degrees of interest. "I need to talk to Natsu about his condition."

"I'll go to the market to get you guys some provisions." Erza replied as she leaned over to kiss Natsu's forehead. "I'm happy to see you Natsu, I was worried." She hugged him against her chest, her ever present armor probably bruising his already weakened body.

Natsu tried to look annoyed at her but failed miserably as a small smile escaped him. Erza smiled back and ruffled his hair before leaving.

"Erza, wait." Happy flew after Erza. " Don't forget to buy fishies."

"I'll wait outside." Gray said deciding that it was best if he wasn't there for this conversation.He already knew what she was going to tell him and she was right to tell him. Natsu needed to understand what he was doing to himself and he would be more likely to listen if none of them there to fight with him about it.

He waved at Natsu and made his way to the door. He could already hear voices behind him as he opened the door. He went outside and sat on the bench the healer had set there for just such a purpose. His mind already going back to Natsu's words to him on that night. Was that what his feelings these last few months were? He didn't know, he'd never been in love. Had never really thought about things like relationships, always busy on a job or having fun with his friends. He'd certainly found people attractive in the past, including Natsu. He couldn't deny that he'd felt something when he heard the words from his rival and saw the crushing pain in his eyes at the thought of what he thought he'd done. Ugh, this never got him anywhere. He would never know until he was able to talk to Natsu about it and the fire mage was clearly not in any state to have that conversation. He shifted his thoughts to how he would handle Natsu on their way back to the cave. That was a puzzle he could at least work out on his own.

It was still surprisingly quiet inside the healer's house when Erza and Happy arrived with Gray's travel bag which they had filled with all the provisions they had bought. Happy was munching on a fish a look of utter bliss on his innocent face.

"She's still talking to him?" Erza asked, concern making her furrow her brow. She immediately went to open the door but Gray stopped her.

"You need to let her talk to him," Gray said, his face trying to communicate the importance of the conversation that was happening inside. Part of him hoped that Natsu would realize what he was doing and ask for the bracelets to be taken off but realistically he knew that was unlikely. Natsu was acting out of fear, and fear was not a rational emotion. Natsu was more scared of hurting others at the moment than he was of hurting himself. Until he was able to overcome that fear he wouldn't agree to the removal of the one thing that made him feel safe. Gray could only hope that Natsu's supposed love for him was enough to help him overcome his fear. He felt the bracelets in his pockets again. He was fairly sure he would be putting them on very soon.

The door opened about fifteen minutes later. Gray could tell from the healer's frustrated expression that the conversation had not gone the way she had hoped. Natsu thanked her for her help and Erza paid her for her services.

"Ready to go Flame Brain?", Gray asked evenly not wanting to start a fight. He knew Natsu must be thinking about the healer's words.

Natsu nodded and began to walk in the direction of the cave. He didn't want to admit it but he was glad Gray was coming with him. Happy began to follow when Gray stopped him.

"Happy, I need you to stay with Erza." Gray told the young Exceed.

"What! No, I just got him back." Happy protested, 'I'm going with you guys."

"But Happy, who's going to take care of Erza if you come with us?"

The Exceed stared at the ice mage with a look that said 'Seriously, you expect me to fall for that?'

"Look, I have some things I need to talk to Natsu about." Gray said and when Happy didn't seem to take the hint he added quietly, "In private."

Happy's eyes lit up with mischief and he covered his mouth with both of his hands as he chortled out, "You liiiiiike him!"

"Shut it, you stupid cat!" Gray hissed before realizing who he sounded like.

He saw Happy's face fall and his eyes fill with tears.Gray cursed at himself as he forgot that Happy had been as close to Lucy as any of them. "I'm sorry, Happy. I didn't mean to--"

"It's ok." Happy quickly replied, "I'll go with Erza, just please... make him better."

He flew off before Gray could apologize further. He tried to shrug it off before hurrying after Natsu for their long walk. When he caught up to him he gave Natsu one of the canteens from his bag and fished around for some fruit to munch on the way.

After walking in silence for a while Gray could not stand it any longer.

"Why did you leave, man?" Gray asked "We could have worked through it together."

"You didn't do anything." Natsu said after a few minutes. "I did. I killed her. It was my fault."

"Natsu, it wasn't anyone's fault." Gray stopped in his tracks and put his hand on Natsu's shoulder to force him to do the same. "It was a tragedy, but it was an accident. Lucy chose to go inside the building after those kids without telling anyone."

"No Gray, I appreciate what you're trying to do but I should have sniffed her out, I should have known." Natsu said

"Why?"Gray growled at his teammate, "Because you're a Dragon Slayer?"

Natsu stared at him with empty eyes that made Gray want to push him further, to make him see, to bring him back from wherever he was hiding his true self.

"Unless being psychic is one of your abilities, I don't see how you were supposed to know what she was doing. No one predicted it, Natsu, not even Horologium. There was NO way you could have known. Why can't you get that through your stupid thick skull? No one blames you, the only one doing that is you!"

"Tell that to Loke." Natsu said as he began to walk away to keep Gray from seeing the tears that were threatening to come at any moment.

Gray ran up to catch up to him. "Loke was upset. He was in love with her, Natsu. He needed someone to blame for his mistake. His mistake, not yours. He was the one who was supposed to protect her, not you. He doesn't blame you anymore than we do. Not anymore. "

Natsu stopped the tears already flooding "You don't understand, Gray. I'm the one she was in love with and I killed her." He began to cry in full earnest as he repeated. "I killed her."

"Were... were you in love with her?" Gray asked and the way his heart was beating was the answer to a lot of questions he didn't want to ask of himself.

"No.' Natsu whispered so quietly that Gray could not hear his answer.

"Well, were you?" Gray pushed for an answer which he desperately wanted.

"NO! I couldn't even give her that." Natsu yelled, disgusted with himself. "I took her away from everything she knew. I promised her an adventure and I killed her."

"Will you stop saying that?!" Gray stopped for a moment trying to process the words and now it was him who was crying. "You did give her an adventure, and friends and a new family that accepted her as she was. You taught her how to fend for herself, Natsu you gave her everything. What you're doing to yourself now, that is the one thing you can't give her. She would never want your life."

"What are you talking about, Ice Princess?" Natsu looked at him curiously.

"You're killing yourself, Natsu" Gray's voice broke as he continued to express his own fears. "I can't let you do that, I can't when you're just being selfish,"

"How on Earth am I being selfish?" Natsu said puzzled, he looked at Gray with those empty eyes again and it was all Gray could to to keep himself from punching some sense into him.

"Because we all need you, Natsu. We need you here with us" Gray's voice shook with feeling as he added in a lower voice, " I need you."

"I'm right here, Gray." Natsu said looking confused.

"I know what the bracelets are doing to you, they're destroying your organs. They're killing you." Gray said accusingly, his voice not as strong as he would have liked as he was still somewhat weepy. "Please Natsu, you're not a danger to anyone, you're just scared. Please take them off. I promise you, I will be here with you. I will help you through it, I will never leave you. Just take them off. You and Erza are the closest thing to family I have. I can't... I can't lose you too."

Natsu looked at Gray open mouthed, in all the years they had known each other he had never seen Gray express so much emotion towards him. His heart sped up as the man he loved with all this heart opened his own heart to him. He wanted to do as Gray asked, to tell him how he felt but he couldn't. He was a mage killer and he couldn't assure himself that Gray would be safe. He shook his head at him, not able to speak.

"Then you leave me no choice." Gray said softly as he took something out of his pockets, It wasn't until he heard the clicks that Natsu realized with a sinking heart what Gray had done.

A/N Thank you so much to SplendidlyImperfect for all their help editing this fic and helping me narrow down the effects of the magic sealing cuffs. I'd also like to thank MiyuTanemura for all her help bouncing off ideas and helping me plot a large part of this chapter and the next one which will be the last one and the prompt for Day 7 of Gratsu Week: Sun.