Minerva POV

Martijn isn't definitely making my life easier by saying that thing about my boyfriend, but I already knew that he didn't liked him.

We are now in my room, at my computer desk, looking at the photos me and Christina took at Tomorrowland already one month ago.

Martijn is sitting on my chair, while I'm sitting on his lap, him holding me by my waist with one arm and leaving the other on the armrest.

"This gets me emotional....." he tells me leaning on me.

"Owww, I missed the emotional Martijn, the boy with feelings and not as hard and strong as a rock"

Scrolling through the various pics, one catches Martijn's attention. It's me and him dancing at Dua Lipa's songs.

"Hey, I like this one!" he exclaims.

"I looked like a full disaster! What the heck...."

"Oooohhhh shut up, you looked beautiful!"

I turn my head in his direction, looking at him like 'are you serious or what?'.

"Yes! Look.... P-e-r-f-e-c-t-i-o-n...."

"Aww thanks Marty, you are so sweet"

"I'm serious, you are really cute"

I can't stop smiling at him, and he notices, smiling himself and poking my nose with his index finger.

Laughing I lean on his chest, feeling something strange under his hoodie.

"Mh, there's something strange here"

"What?"

"Some chest muscles? Oh, did you hit the gym or what?"

"Charelle forced me to, but I didn't mind it. By the way..... I might have lost a little too. This holiday.... Was a little sad to me. I was alone all the time"

"Oh really? I'm sorry..... I could have texted you more!"

"Don't worry. It was fine tho, I don't mind being alone sometimes: it makes me think about life"

I now remember Martijn's lack of self esteem, that literally forces him to keep all of his thought inside.

"But now, tell me: how is it going with your life, and especially, your confidence?"

His sight finds its way to the floor, bringing a little more of tension to the room.

"You know, that will always be my problem. I just seem to be incapable of accepting me as I am."

"Can you tell me why? What's the point, in your opinion..."

He seems to think about it for a few moments, and then he answers.

"I think..... most of the people I know treat me as a badass dj that throws crazy parties every night. But I'm not like that! I'm a computer nerd that prefers producing at partying every night and enjoys himself by collecting rocks!"

"Oh, do you collect rocks and crystals?"

"Yes. By the way, I apparently can't seem to accept myself because I assume that what people tell me is the best for me. But it isn't. I want to be me, Martijn Gerard Garritsen. But I also don't want to disappoint my friends and fans"

He let it go.....
Oh god!

FINALLY!!!

He seems to realize it only a few moments after his sentence ended.

"God. Here it was the point" he answers himself.

"You know what? I can definitely tell you something really important.

Your lovely garrixers love you because you are a simple guy with an heart that's way bigger than his body. You are smart, funny, great talented.... Plus, you are good looking. And you know it..... Don't lie to me! "

His lips bend in a beautiful smile, immediately contoured by a light redness on his face.
"Hahaha, thank you Miné. You really made me feel better. But I'm not THAT good looking"

I immediately start to laugh at his statement, basically telling him to shut his mouth and listen to me.

"Follow me" I ask him getting up from the chair and going to my wardrobe, where a full length mirror is attached to the closet's door.

He places himself in front of the mirror, with me hugging him from behind.

"Look at this human being. Look: he's handsome!"

He slowly raises his shirt up, revealing his tummy.

"No abs, no party..... Girls requirements are very high rated nowadays"

"For example, I don't give a fuck"

"Ohhh yes. So your boyfriend isn't a model. Nooooooo......"

"Come on Marty.... I like Peter because of his.... How do I say it.... Ummm"

"yeah. Ok"

I. Am. Offended.

"I like him because he is funny and because he treats me like a princess"

...

"OK, sorry I just let my mouth speak by itself. I didn't want to discuss about this"

"Just because you are my best friend.... I excuse you "

He exhales in relief.

"I know I shouldn't get in your life, but I can't help it...."

"But I like the 'you getting into my life' part, that's amazing "

Martijn squeezes my hand, still standing in front of the mirror as before.

A strange feeling heats me up at his touch, for the first time ever. The contact with his soft skin is comfortable and welcoming, while his head turns over his shoulder, his eyes meeting mine.

He slowly turns around, leaving my hand and taking it back in his palm. His heat is.... Almost fire in me. This is...... Strange.

But I like it.

My hands start to ride up his chest, while he pulls me towards him.

I don't even know why it happened, but I liked it.

Martijn starts to breathe deeply. What's wrong?

"Minerva..... I have to tell you something before you realize it by yourself" he says gulping.

"Do I have to worry? You don't look like you are OK..."

"That's not easy to tell. Holy shit........ "

"Martijn?" I am obviously preoccupied.

"Please. Forgive me..... I can't help it anymore....."

"About what?"

And then....Martijn brings his face towards me and places his lips on mine.

I am shocked, and I don't know what to do.

But this feels so good, so right.... This is what I can't have from anybody else.

Anyway Martijn seems to realize what he did, finally breaking our kiss.

We look at each other into our eyes.

"Oh my goodness. What did I do.....You have a boyfriend" he states.

"And you have a girlfriend....." I say still pretty shocked.

"Shit. Minerva I'm sorry, that's a disaster but...... Ok.

I'm sexually attracted to you"

Ha.

Haha uhh....

Holy fuck.