Logan

Dammit!

I don't know why I'm so clumsy today. It's not like me. It's only been a few hours since I opened the store and I can't stop dropping and bumping into things.

I can't help but replay those text messages between me and Seki over and over again in my head. It's like it's on repeat, it's like torture.

She dated Tristan?

Why wouldn't he tell me that?

I mean, I haven't known him that long, maybe he would've mentioned it eventually...

Whatever the case may be, her messages rubbed me the wrong way and made me tap into an anger I haven't felt in a very long time, it's not like Tristan and I are dating but her possessive nature and off-putting tone were beyond annoying.

There aren't many customers today, and as time goes by, my anticipation of Tristan's arrival keeps me on edge. I know I shouldn't mention that I spoke to Seki, especially since it was on a dating site and that might ruin my chances with him, but at the same time I'm not one to hold my tongue, not when it comes to something I want, and I can't deny my growing want for Tristan.

I decide to rearrange a few of the shelves in the store to keep my mind busy and make room for the new items arriving today for delivery.

I'll admit I'm not the best at presentation when it comes to decorative displays, but I think so far I'm doing a good job. I decided to start with our assortment of herbs and make the choice to alphabetize them; I don't know why we hadn't done this before, it would make it a lot easier for customers looking for something specific, but either way, it's done now and I'm proud at improvement the organizing and condensing has done, creating new space on the shelf.

Below the herbs are one of my favorite items we carry in the shop, the divination teacups, I nowhere near have the knowledge to read leaves, but I always found the idea of it fascinating, to see the future in the remains of tea or in some cases even coffee.

My admiration for the cups sends me into a daydream about how magical life really is and reminds me of the most beneficial advice I feel I have ever been given: Not every moment is forever and we, as humans, should always try to remain present.

Just that thought alone makes me think of how much I've let everything with Seki and Tristan get to me, and that I should stop worrying so much about the details and just go with the flow, it's how I typically operate, but it's something about him, something about Tristan makes me go absolutely crazy and step outside the norm.

As I continue to move the teacups on the shelf to their new location, I'm startled by a buzz from a text notification on my phone, causing me to inadvertently crash the porcelain divination tool to the floor.

"Shit!" My heart sinks at the sight of the once beautiful cup now lying in pieces on the floor of the shop, completely shattered.

"Logan?" I turn to see my mother eyeing me curiously.

"Sorry Mom, it was an accident. I'll get it cleaned up. I just..."

"It's okay, Logan. I'm more concerned about you than the cup. I've noticed you're a bit off today. Every time I come in and out of the shop, you're skittering around clumsily or cursing under your breath..."

"I'm sorry, I just had a long day yesterday, that's all."

She isn't buying my attempt to divert this conversation in another direction and continues to stare at me blankly before giving me a response; if anyone knows me, it's my mother, and her unmistakable ability to tap into things otherworldly is perfectly aligned.

"This doesn't have anything to do with our new employee, now does it? Because remember, Logan, I need you to keep your head on straight, so if it's going to be an issue, we need to address it sooner rather than later."

I try to keep my voice in an unreadable tone as I usher up a response.

"No, Mom, it doesn't have anything to do with Tristan." I lie.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Mom!" I blurt out unintentionally, it's hard enough to deal with the mess going on in my head without someone trying to poke and prod at the things, even if it is my mother, I can't even figure out on my own yet.

Her glare is intense, and it has my nerves running around frantically in my brain. I know she can tell I'm lying. She knows everything.

She gives me a stern look before softening her face into a smile and nudging her head in the direction of the door. "Okay, good, because here he comes. I'll get this cleaned up. Why don't you go and greet him?"

The sight of Tristan makes my body grow warm. He is undeniably attractive, but beyond that, he has this thing about him that just makes you want to know more. I want to know who he really is, and what's behind his alluring nature.

As I make my way to the door, I try to push the thoughts about my conversation with Seki to the back of my mind, and instantly new thoughts start to take over. I initially try to tuck them away, but I can't help but let my mind spiral as I get a little lost in his energy.

He's so well put together, his dark brown hair neatly groomed, his choice of clothing well fitting and reminiscent of the token good guy you'd see in movies like he grew up having the perfect life and nothing ever went wrong. The gloss from his mesmerizing brown eyes is even visible from a distance and it's like his soul is calling me closer to him and I can't help but answer.

That's when it hits me, like a lightbulb, something goes off in my head...

That's why I like him so much, his innocence. He seems like the type of person who looks for the good in everything, even when things might be going completely awry. It's the thing I lack and he just might be that missing piece of me, my other half that could provide just that.

"Uh hey, Logan." I snap out of my daze and realize I might've been glaring awkwardly. I can tell from his fidgety disposition that he's a bit in his head too, but then I remember the last time I saw him I basically tried to kiss him, so he could be lost in thoughts about anything at this moment.

"Hey, Tristan..." I swallow and try to get myself together.

"Thanks for coming on such short notice... I just really needed help. The delivery should be here soon, and no worries, in the future, we'll work out a set schedule. Hopefully, we can work on that tonight after everything's put away and the customers leave." I force out a nervous chuckle.

When the customers leave... me alone with Tristan... please let me keep it together.

We make our way into the shop where he greets my mother and my little sister Ry, who is now bustling around the store playing with her imaginary friend, Billy. I've had the pleasure of meeting Billy several times, but knowing our family is untraditional and strangely gifted, I really do hope Billy is truly imaginary and Ryder is not just an early receiver of some type of special gift.

Once settled in I hand Tristan a pre-planned list of things he can help with that I whipped up this morning, I wasn't sure if the delivery would be here on time, and with the awkwardness lingering in the air I figured it would be best if we both just keep busy, at least for today.

The energy is intensely dense between us as we work on tasks, assist customers, and wait on our delivery, even my mother can sense it as she has attempted to break the silence between us several times before finally scooping up Ryder and taking her for a walk.

It's not long before I decide I can't take it anymore, every second that passes by makes me feel like I'm wasting time and I want to talk to him, whether it's awkward or not, I always say to myself it's better to know what will happen than to wonder "what if?".

"So... How was your day?" I ask as pleasantly as possible.

"Oh, um, it was ok. I spent some time with my mom. She's excited I got a new job, and honestly, so am I, I want to get out on my own, you know?"

He smiles, still fidgety, now rubbing the back of his head and keeping eye contact to a minimum.

I immediately respond before getting lost in thought. "Yeah, I totally get it. It's so expensive these days though, practically impossible to make it without a roommate or some type of living arrangement."

Me and Tristan roommates... that would be exciting.

Maybe I should be looking for a place too...

Maybe we should be looking together...

"Yeah, that's true, but Logan, listen... I have to tell you something. I struggled with if I should let you know or not because I really do enjoy my job here... but I feel like it's important... I..."

*ping*

"Hold on to that thought, I'm sure it's the delivery driver... and some of these drivers are so impatient. If he leaves and has to come back tomorrow, my mother will absolutely lose it."

I head into the app and click to acknowledge that I am available to accept the packages, the process this company has is so tedious, but I guess the items can be a bit pricey so they don't want to run the risk of anything being stolen and I know we have a rather large order of moldavite coming in, so I get the gist.

"I'm just going to run to the back to get the handcart. It'll be faster getting the items in the shop that way. If they happen to pull up, can you just E-Sign so they can start bringing things in? My mom permitted you to sign for incoming deliveries."

I hand him my phone, more to show him I trust him than anything. It's important to establish trust, whether in friendships or beyond.

"Sure no problem." He responds, offering up his smile, which like clockwork, sends rushes of desire throughout my body.

On my way to the back of the store, my emotions are on high. This is the moment I knew I wasn't crazy. I knew he felt it too. Some things are just meant to happen.

He likes me.

I grab the handcart as quickly as I can, eager to hear his words and confirm our attraction towards each other, so we can navigate this, so we can move forward.

When I get to the front, I'm taken aback by the look on his face. He looks like he's holding something back, like anger or sadness. I can't tell sometimes he is tricky to read.

"You good Tristan?" I ask sincerely curious.

"Yeah, I'm fine, no response from the delivery guy yet, but you did get a text from your girlfriend."

I feel stuck, like my world is ending, and my heart begins beating rapidly in my chest.

"Tristan, I don't have a..."

"And your boyfriend."

Well, this just took a turn for the worse.

Why me?

Why today?

Just why...

Fuck...