Anyeong, my loves and happy first chapter of 2024❤.

As Taylor Swift once said, "It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me."

On a more serious note, I want to use this opportunity to apologize for my inconsistency this past year.

Honestly, I've been swamped.

Exams, graduation and Uni resumption, not to mention a bunch of unforseen personal situations I don't wanna get into right now.

But still, the fact that I didn't up to 10 chapters in the whole of 2023 and dropped nothing since 2024 is very disappointing to me, and unfair to you guys.

For this I say, I'm sorry.

In the same vein, I want to thank you all for sticking it out with me this long.

I'm so so grateful, guys, honestly.

I know I must've said this before, but I promise to do better from now on.

Am I forgiven?😭

Whether yes or no, please enjoy this chapter❤.

~~~~~~~
"Never knew a thing about me;
Screw you,"
~~~~~~~
- SZA
(Never Knew)

NOELLE

I stared in confusion at the email opened on my laptop.

It was a list of Social Prefect duties that were now left to me as the Assistant Social Prefect, seeing as Beryl was constantly MIA.

I barely see her in school these days, and when I do, she's usually updating notes or talking to her friends.

She never attends Prefect meetings anymore, and Fortune has turned to me to handle everything.

Sighing, I closed my laptop and pushed it away, my head muddled.

Just before I started this, I was on the phone with my parents.

By special arrangement, they're allowed to make calls to people outside jail every two weeks.

That's how it's been for the past decade.

Yeah, that's right; I haven't seen either my mum or my dad since I was seven years old.

All I have to remember them by are a couple of family pictures here in my aunt's house and these phone calls.

Although now, they've become more out of habit than necessity, and the conversations are short and sometimes uncomfortably formal.

I mean, I barely know them, and vice versa.

But still, it's good to hear their voices a couple times every month.

After their arrest, none of my extended family members were willing to help me, so I moved in with Phineas' family for a few months before my aunt Claudia came and picked me up.

Since then, I've been in her house.

Aunt Claudia is my mum's older sister. She used to be based in Greece with her husband, but she moved back to Nigeria to raise her three kids, my cousins; Atlas, Thea, and Athena.

Atlas is the firstborn and only boy. Growing up, I barely saw him in the house because he was always away at football practice. Now, he's a striker for one European team whose name I can't remember, but we chat online whenever he has the chance to.

Thea, the first girl is Aunt Claudia 2.0. She took both her aristocratic good looks and her exclusive, high-maintenance tastes. At the same time, she has a strong appetite for learning and all things educational. Right now, she's doing her Masters in Anthropology at a school in Bali, Indonesia.

Then there's Athena, the last born and closest to my age. She was my best friend aside from Phineas growing up, and she's still one of my best friends now. When she finished secondary school, she told my aunt that she wanted to be a social media influencer and content creator and my aunt agreed wholeheartedly. Since then, she's amassed a huge following and is currently in the US on a brand trip.

She'll be home next month for the holidays, as will Atlas, Thea and my uncle. Aunt Claudia has been running round making all the preparations. Christmas decorations arrived yesterday, and now she's downstairs with her assistant and personal shopper organizing her December wardrobe.

By the end of the month, the house will be transformed into a Lagos-esque Winter wonderland, complete with fake snow and a miniature ice rink in the backyard, where my aunt hosts her annual Christmas party.

It's all glamorous and sparkly, and there are usually a lot of high calibre guests in attendance. It can be a bit boring, but Athena and her friends are good company.

Last year, I invited Lekki and we had a great time. Hopefully, she can come again this year.

My phone pinged with two notifications and I grabbed it, standing up slowly to stretch out my limbs.

One notification was from my water tracking app, and the other was from Majid.

We've been talking steadily since the day he asked me for my number at the Courtyard.

He's still the same quick-witted guy I met in JSS1. I'd like to say he's matured since then, but he has always been a mature, solid person.

I've never had a male friend apart from Phineas, so talking to him this period has been rather refreshing.

Absent-mindedly, I walked towards my mirror as I texted him back.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, turning round to observe my belly. I touched the flesh, feeling slightly repulsed. I hate the way the fat there bunches up into rolls and flaps.

The workouts I've been doing don't seem to be working, but at least, with my reduced food intake, I haven't gained any more weight.

I picked up my water bottle, suddenly remembering the notification from the tracking app.

I had one for water, another for calorie counting, one for sleep, and a bunch of others I researched would aid in my weight loss journey.

Majid replied to my text with two of his own just as I sat down on my bed.

Before I could reply, my door burst open and Janice sauntered in, phone pressed to her ear as she spoke into it.

"Yes, baby, I'm literally in the car right now and the driver is harassing me," she said, sounding scared while looking contently nonchalant. "I don't know what to do. My app isn't working and I left my card at home. I just need a little mo- OGA, WAIT NA I'LL PAY YOU YOUR MONEY!"

I stared at this girl, shouting like she was being held hostage as she sat comfortably on my couch.

"Baby, shey you're hearing? This man wants to embarrass me here! Oh, you've sent it? Oh my gosh, thank you, baby. I love you so, so much. I'll see you in a bit."

She made a kiss sound and then cut the call with a loud hiss.

In a second, she dialed another number.

"Hello, babe? Yes, yes I'm with her," she said, talking as if she was on the verge of tears. "She's still on oxygen. And my dad is not around yet. I don't know w-what to d-do..." She broke down into fake sobs, wailing into the phone while checking her nails.

"No, there's no need to send anything. Don't bother. I'll deal with this on my own."

She bent and took off her wedges, sniffing dramatically.

Her phone buzzed and she glanced at the screen with a smirk.

"Babe you didn't have to. This is too much. No, no I'm going to send this back."

Her phone buzzed again and she flipped her braids back. "Another one? Okay, okay, I'll stop complaining. Thank you so much, my love. I'll come and see you when I'm less busy, okay? I love you."

She cut the call with an even louder hiss.

"Who were those ones?" I asked as she scrolled on her phone, humming.

"Rufus and Alfred o. Stupid motherfuckers. They couldn't send good money, sef. Like what the hell is 170k? So if my great-aunty was really dying is it 150k I'll use to pay her bills?"

I shook my head, already used to Janice's theatrics when it came to billing her numerous flings.

She even grouped them into categories based on their financial capabilities.

The crazy thing is she's from a wealthy family, with parents who are more than capable of providing for her needs.

When Abena asked her about it sometime last year, Janice had simply flipped her hair and replied; "Sure, my parents give me money, but it's not nearly enough. And the guys are gonna toast me anyway, so I give them the attention they want and get what I want in return."

"Is it me or does your aunty's personal shopper look just like Adejare in A class?" Janice asked.

"Doyin? Really?"

Janice shrugged. "Maybe it's just my eye."

"Yeah, probably."

It was quiet for a bit and I continued texting with Majid, quietly laughing at the dry Dad jokes he kept sending me.

"Oh my gawd, I live for Athena's IG page. Baby girl is flexing the hell out of life!" Janice gushed, eyes glued on her phone.

I almost chuckled at the casual way she spoke about my cousin, as if she knew her personally, whereas in reality, she only found out that the great and mighty Athena Henshaw is my cousin as we were leaving SS1.

The day she came over during the summer holidays last year and bumped into Athena in the hallways, I swear she had a seizure.

Now everytime she comes to visit, she dresses up as if she's going for a photoshoot or something, like now, with her blue tube top and low-rise jeans, hugging her lean curves.

"Shey it's next month she's coming back?"

I nodded and she squealed.

"I can't wait! I have so many TikTok challenges I want us to do."

"That's if she's at home sha," I told her plainly. "Usually she's out with her friends."

"Monalisa and Lami," Janice said immediately. "I've already met Lami through Ola, but if I get to meet Monalisa Akumeh, I'll evaporate."

"You know she's a regular human being like you, right? She literally went to Elysian that's in our backyard."

Janice rolled her eyes. "That was then. As of right now, she's a reigning beauty queen with a following of over 5 million. That's tea."

"It's giving famzing, sha," I said.

"You're the one who doesn't know how fortunate you are. If Athena Henshaw was my cousin and I had access to her famous friends, I would've had made good use of the opportunity to cash out myself," she stated. "I mean, she's close with people like Priscy Ojo, Diana Eneje and Susan Pwajok. If to say na me, I for don blow, leave all of una for Hillsong."

"Abeg, is this why you came over? To discuss my cousin and her friends?"

"Of course not," she said with a smirk. "I was actually in the neighborhood and I decided to pop in."

"Sure," I said eyeing her playfully.

I looked back down at my phone and typed: guess who's here?

Majid replied immediately: Who?

your number one fan 😗, I typed back, adding a sticker.

No way...my mum's in
your house?😮

*sticker*
no joh
it's Janice

He replied with a Pawpaw sticker and I bit back a laugh.

"Who are you texting?" Janice asked, looking over curiosly.

"A friend," I replied.

she just asked who I'm texting, I told Majid.

What'd you say? he typed back instantly.

told her I'm talking
to a friend

I bet you she'll ask about
the other day when she
saw us together

*sticker*

If she does, you owe me
a cold bottle of coke

I rolled my eyes at his message.

Majid could be stylishly cocky at times, so sure of himself.

Who can blame him though? He's almost always right.

"Which friend? A guy?" came Janice.

I shrugged with a small smile.

"Hey, um, I forgot to ask...what were you and Majid discussing the other day? Did he...did he mention me at all?"

"Like I said that day, we just bumped into each other, and we barely spoke, he just asked how I've been since Ricardo's party, I looked through his sketchbook and I offered him Lekki's brownies 'cause I wasn't hungry," I said, typing as I spoke.

you Edo winch...
she asked me just now

*Edo and Hausa
Give me my coke on
Monday, Miss Bassey

"So he didn't mention me at all?"

"Sorry, but no."

She hissed as her face fell.

I put my phone down and looked at her.

"Shey I told you that pursuing Majid would be pointless? He's not interested in dating right now, talk less of hooking up. Not to mention that you're in a relationship with one of his closest friends; yet another fact I keep having to remind you."

"Well, you can dead that fact because Ola and I have broken up."

"Sureee," I drawled. "The same way you two always break up and then the next day you'll be eating each other's faces off."

"It's not like that this time, Noelle," she said, her tone flat.

Her shoulders were slumped but she tried to look nonchalant.

I got up and went to meet her on the couch.

"When did this happen?"

"A week after Ricardo's party," she answered. "We talked and...and ended things."

''Just like that?'' I couldn't help but ask.

She rolled her eyes sassily. '' What was I supposed to do? Cry over him like some bitch? I knew we were bound to break up since we resumed SS3; we were just riding it out.''

Janice was speaking as if the whole thing wasn't hurting her, but as a front row viewer to the spectacle that was her relationship with Ola, I know how attached she grew to him and how even the littlest issues between them could turn her poisonous.

And from the way she didn't clarify or go into details about how she ended the relationship, it's safe to assume that Ola was the one whole called it quits.

Knowing Janice, who prides herself with never getting the short end of the stick, she must be feeling angry and conflicted.

''So, you want to get with Majid now? Like not as a fling?''

She nodded. ''He's a nice guy, and that's what I need right now. Plus it'll teach that useless boy a lesson.''

I kept quiet, not knowing exactly what to make of all this and Janice looked at me. ''If you guys happen to meet again, could you pitch in a good word for me?'' she asked.

''Sure,'' I told her, even though I've been doing just that- subtly bringing her up in my conversations with Majid. But he didn't seem to care for her in any way, shape or form.

''Anyway, back to the reason why I'm here in the first place,'' Janice said, tapping away at her phone. ''Do you know any guy named Theo?''

''Theo?''

The name sounded familiar and I wracked my brain, trying to locate it in my memory.

Theo, Theo, Theo....

I gasped, suddenly remembering.

The guy I met at Ricardo's party. The guy who called me gorgeous. How could I forget him?

"I met a guy who bears that name at Ricardo's party when I went looking for Phineas," I said to Janice, the memory playing in my head.

"Oh, so it was you then?"

I stared at her in confusion and she explained; " Apparently he's been asking around for you ever since Ricardo's party, and someone directed him to me because the girl he was looking for was with me at the party. I asked the others and they all said they never met anyone like that, so I wanted to ask you too to clarify."

"He didn't mention my name?" I had to ask.

Janice played with her fingernails, avoiding my gaze. "Well....he did, but I had to make sure he wasn't mistaking you for anyone, y'know? Like, Enola in B class, for example-"

"-Or maybe you just assumed that a guy like that wouldn't want to talk to me?" I fired at her.

"Oh, don't be like that! You can barely scrape together enough confidence to talk to Phineas Sullivan who we've been in the same set as for years; how would I know that you'd suddenly start talking to random Lionsgate boys at a pool party?"

I swallowed my annoyance.

She was right, anyway.

"So you talked to him?"

"Yeah. It was actually a nice conversation, I can't lie."

"Are you gonna add him to your roster or something?"

Janice grimaced. "Ew. You know I don't fuck with Lionsgate boys....they're nerdy and way too full of themselves to fulfil my needs."

I couldn't but laugh at her.

"Oh my days. Janice, have you sat to listen to way you sound at times?"

"Forget that thing, joh," she rebuffed. "Anyway, he asked for your number and I told him I'd have to confirm from you first. So?"

I bit my lip, making my decision quickly.

"Yeah, give it to him."

She picked he phone up again and tapped away on it.

I left the couch as she pressed her phone and went back to the mirror, dread settling in my stomach.

Why did I agree?

Oh gawd, why did I agree?

I was wearing a tight swimsuit and a cover-up the day Theo saw me....he probably couldn't see how I really look.

What am I saying? One look at my face and it's obvious how the rest of me is.

My pathetic reflection stared back at me in the mirror.

Why did he ask for my number?

I was about to step away from the mirror when I noticed Janice's eyes were on it too, looking intently at me.

"I came here for another reason, though," she said, softly this time.

"What's that?" I asked as nonchalantly as possible, turning round and folding my arms.

"I've noticed you've been trying to lose weight, Noelle."

My breath seized in my throat for a split second and I tried not to appear affected by what she told me, but my voice betrayed me.

"Y-you have?"

Janice got up, walking slowly towards me.

"I mean, it's obvious as fuck. You suddenly always want to cover up with sweaters and blazers, you skip Lunch at school, you haven't come with us for  three after school shopping sessions in a row and you're giving away the snacks Lekki makes for you. Not to mention all the different app notifications on your phone and, oh, the exercise mat and weighing scale literally behind you."

"T-that doesn't mean that-"

"No, it's a good thing. I mean, you are clearly the most...um...adequate girl in our friend group, so it’s really good that you want to get in shape."

I nodded, folding my lips together.

"I want to help you," Janice added with a small smile.

"Help me?"

"Yeah. I brought along a little something to assist your journey. Want to see it?"

"Sure, I guess."

She stretched over and picked up her bag, rummaging in it till she pulled out an unlabelled bottle of pills.

"Take," she said, thrusting it into my hands.

"What are they for?" I looked at the bottle, twisting it over to find a list of ingredients or something.

"Weight loss, of course. They're off-the-market pills that Ginika and her other model girlies use to stay in shape. She loaned me that bottle some months ago and I've used it once or twice, but you need it more," she explained.

"But...how does it work?"

Janice shrugged with a giggle. "Do I look like Google? I don't freaking know. It just slims you down. Isn't that what you want?"

I stared at the cream coloured pills in the bottle, an uneasy feeling settling over me.

"What's the dosage?"

"Ginika suggested taking one every three days till results start showing. After that you can slow down or speed up....depending on what you want."

She smiled wider, looking pleased with herself as she went back to the couch.

"Am I not the best friend ever?"

I placed the bottle on my bed side table and left it there.

Janice left not long after that, and as I saw her out my aunt called on me.

I met her in the backyard, where she was still talking to her assistant, while sipping on a glass of rosé.

"Oh, Noe baby, come sit down," she said, gesturing with a neatly manicured hand.

I sat on one of the swing seats, but it made a loud creaking sound and I got up immediately and perched on one of the marble stools.

"I think that'll be all for now, Tina. Email me a brief of everything," she said and her assistant scuttled away quietly.

"Noe baby, come here," Aunt Claudia said, patting the space near her on the bench.

I sat next to her and cuddled up to her, inhaling her classy perfume and letting it fill my lungs.

My aunt and I share a close, almost mother-daughter relationship which I'm grateful for. In fact, to most outsiders, she's my mum and I'm her last born.

Most times, I wish it were true.

"You looked upset when you were seeing your friend off. Well, maybe your face didn't show it, but I could read your body language. Did anything happen?"

I shook my head.

"Noelle, we've talked about this. You need to learn to express yourself. Stop hiding your emotions and bottling them up."

"I'm just tired. I wanted to rest today and Janice showed up unexpectedly," I told her, quite honestly.

"So you two didn't fight?"

"No, not at all."

"You're just tired?"

"Yeah, very."

"And this tiredness has nothing to do with the fact that your birthday is just a little more than a month away?"

I stiffened and pulled away from her.

My aunt has never been subtle when it comes to dropping hints.

"No, it doesn't," I answered through clenched teeth.

She brightened up. "So you're celebrating this year?"

I rolled my eyes at her expression. "No, I am not."

The same way I didn't celebrate last year,and the year before that, and the year before that-

"But, Noe...this is your seventeenth birthday. The last one you'll celebrate here before running off to college, mind you," she said.

"It's just a day, Aunty," I mumbled.

"Don't say that....it's a special day," she added, her voice going sad.

"It's really not," I said nonchalantly.

Well, technically, it is ;considering that I was born on Christmas day itself.

"Well, you still have to celebrate."

I smiled coyly at her. "Go ahead, Aunty. You can celebrate my oh-so-special day. I mean, you basically do that every year, right?"

I'm not kidding; she literally orders an extra cake with the words: Happy birthday, Noelle on it every year at her Christmas party, which is usually a few days before the 25th.

Then she lights it up with candles and tries to get me to blow them in front of all her guests, but usually at that point of the party, I sneak off into Atlas' room and stay there either till the party is over or so much time has passed that the birthday mood dies off.

"Noelle, you haven't celebrated your birthday since you were five years old," Aunt Claudia said. "Since your parents got locked up."

"Thanks for the reminder," I said under my breath.

Aunt Claudia bit her lip and sighed, dropping her glass on another stool beside her.

"Your uncle and I have been talking-"

"-Oh please don't tell me you guys have some elaborate birthday trip planned or something, I-"

"- and we think you need to go for therapy."

"-won't leave this house for..."

I paused, her words sinking in.

Ehn?

"Therapy?" I asked, incredulous. "Because I don't want to celebrate my birthday?"

"It's not just that! It's everything that has happened since I brought you here from the Sullivan house years ago. You stopped smiling, stopped laughing, stopped reacting to anything for a really, really long time, and you didn't seem to realise it. We were all worried about you, but I thought registering you for therapy at such a young age would be bad and we didn't need any more negative attention drawn towards the family, so we kept on."

I looked at her, watching her unfold and get emotional.

"When you got to your secondary school and made friends, I was happy for you. You started smiling again. You were excited to be together with Phineas, and you had found other people too and they made you so happy that every other thing faded into the background. Then all of a sudden, you closed off again, shut us all out, started getting rude and self absorbed, and....I don't know. I just owed it all to teenage hormones, and maybe that's just what it was, but I'll never know because each time I tried to get you to open...each time your cousins tried, you shut us out.

"And now it's this odd, obsessive behaviour you've started; you don't eat breakfast before school, you come home earlier than usual, you skip dinner, you lock yourself in your room for hours and hours. And even when I know something is wrong, you never ever show it, and then if I ask it's as if I'm being overbearing. I just don't know what to do anymore."

Her voice was pained and her expression showed it too, her eyes glassy with tears and her lovely golden-brown complexion slowly turning reddish.

"Noe, if you'd just talk to me, there wouldn't be any need to consult an outsider. If it's about your parents, things will get sorted out soon enough. And if it's school, your friends or even a boy, we'll-"

"-I'll have a birthday party," I interrupted her, the words forcing their way out of my mouth before I could stop them.

"What?"

"I changed my mind. I'll celebrate this year. It's my seventeenth, right? Yeah, let's do it," I said, trying to sound as perky as possible.

"Noelle, are you okay?" Aunt Claudia asked, looking genuinely concerned.

No, I'm really not.

I smiled, a soft empathetic smile. "Of course I am. And I'm sorry if I've been blocking you out. I guess I just didn't want you to worry."

"Oh, my love." She hugged me back to her side. "Don't think that way, okay? You can always come to me for everything."

"I know that," I told her.

"And I'm sorry if there's any way I made you feel like you couldn't talk to me," she said, squeezing me further into the hug.

Ironic, because my heart was also squeezing, almost threatening to pop and explode.

"I think I want to go and lie down now," I said after a while. "I'm exhausted."

"Yes, of course."

She released me and I stood up, giving her one last smile before heading back into the house and upstairs.

Once in my room, I locked the doors and let my tears run freely.

I turned round and the first thing that entered my line of vision was the bottle of pills.

Fighting a dozen warning signals in my head, I opened it and swallowed down a tablet within seconds.

As it slid down my throat, I sank into the mattress of my bed, crying silently till I drifted off to sleep.

Mehnnnnnn.

I don't even have words rn....and I'm the author😭😭.

Anywayyyy, it's been a while, you guys?

How's everyone doing?

Me, I'm trying to exist in this school.

Will I finish it or will it finish me?

Stayed tuned to find out.

Alsoooo...this is a double update, so head on over to the next part.🧚🏽‍♀️

See you thereeee.❤