When I wake up, my brain is messed up.

For my alarm, I put 'Photograph' by Ed Sheeran.

And I don't LOOOOVVEEE that song, its just nice. 

Me: Wow. Ed Sheeran's voice is awesome. I want to marry him. But he's already married to Katy Perry.

...

IM NOT EVEN JOKING!

And then, half an hour later, I think about it and I start laughing.

ED SHEERAN IS NOT MARRIED TO KATY PERRY!!

Gosh, brain! Logic, where you at??

----

Now once, I was holding a knife. I saw my Dad peek into my bag, and I was racing there to tell him it was mine, and it had his secret Birthday Card.

Me: ITS MINE!

BTW, im still holding the knife.

Dad: Oookay.

Me: *Starts staring at him creepily, while holding up the knife*

Dad: What, what are you doing? Keep the knife back.

HE GOT SO SCARED LIKE 'MY DAUGHTER WILL MURDER MOI?? BUT WHYYY'...

Me: OKie dokie

He got so scared of me, and Im like, 'You think imma kill you? Nice imagination...'

(╯◕◡  ◕）╯︵ ┻━┻

Happily throws a table.