Cas was fed up with being depressed. He wanted to get rid of it. But it wasn't that simple, sadly enough. Why wasn't it that simple?

"I need to - to take a walk." He spoke roughly, his throat still tight.

"You sure you don't wanna stay here?" Dean asked.

"I just... I need some fresh air. Clear my mind."

Dean nodded in understanding. "Okay. Take a jacket, it's cold out."

Cas grinned briefly. "Okay, mom." He joked in an attempt to lighten the mood.

He handed Charlie the kitten and grabbed Dean's black Green Day jacket that he wore the other day and slipped it on, walking toward the door, when Dean approached him.

"Don't be gone long, okay?"

"Don't worry. I won't be." Cas grinned.

"Just be careful, okay? This little patch of neighborhood isn't all that great, y'know? If you see people on the street, and I mean anyone, you don't make eye contact. Especially if they're walking a dog, because it'll usually end up being a hellhound. So just don't talk to strangers, look both ways when you're crossing the street, actually, don't cross the street, it's a bad street. Cas, do you think I could go with you-"

Cas placed a finger on Dean's lips to silence him. "Dean, I'll be fine." He whispered, kissing his forehead. "I love you." And he walked out the door, closing it behind him.

"I... I l- I... I... damn it, why can't I say it back?"

"Probably because he left the room." Charlie spoke sarcastically.

Dean turned to face them. "No, I mean, I wanna say it. I wanna tell him, y'know? But I - I just can't for some reason. My throat gets tight, my palms get all sweaty, and my heart's about to bust out of my chest. Why can't I say it back?"

Jo and Charlie looked at each other, smiles on their faces, and said, "Aww!"

Dean was left confused. "What?"

They looked back up at him, Jo deciding to explain it for him. She got off the bed and walked up to him. "Dean, you my friend, have a bad case of the love bug."

His confused expression never left his face. "Love bug? A - a bad case? How bad?"

"Think Romeo and Juliet, but a bit more intense. Have you quoted Shakespeare to him yet?"

He paused, not wanting to dignify that with a response. "Maybe."

Jo took a step back. "Whoa. You're in it deep."

Dean was still confused. "Is it bad? This love bug thing?"

"It... depends. It's not always that bad, but it is infectious."

"Infectious how? I mean, is it... I mean, what-"

"Don't worry," She interrupted. "It's not a bad infectious. I'm just saying, you're quoting Shakespeare, you're overprotective-"

"I'm not overprotective!" Dean denied.

Jo raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? 'Don't talk to strangers, look both way when you cross the street. You know what? Just wear a suit of armor and you'll be fine.'" She mocked.

"Hey, I never said anything about armor!"

"You might as well have!"

Dean ran his hand through his hair, a bit worried about Cas. Not because he was going for a walk, but because of his depression. Maybe a little of both, he wasn't sure. All he knew was that he wanted Cas here, so that he could hold him and tell him that he loved him, if he could manage to say it.

Then he realized something; the black Green Day jacket Cas was wearing still had his pocket knife in it.

No, Cas wouldn't... he just had to have faith. He had faith in Cas, he knew he wouldn't. Either way, it was doubtful he knew the knife was in it anyway. But the thought of Cas having a sharp object within his vicinity while he was depressed got Dean just slightly anxious.

Jo put her hand on his shoulder, which shook him from his thoughts. "Don't worry so much about Cas. He's tough as nails, you'd be surprised. And I think the therapy's really helped, too."

Therapy? Dean was unaware of this.

He looked Jo in the eye. "The what?"

"The therapy. I thought you knew, since you and Cas are dating."

He shook his head. "N-no. I - I didn't. I had no idea. How long has he been in therapy?"

"Uh, maybe a year, a year and a half. I'm not sure. A while now."

"A year. It-it's been a year. Why wouldn't he tell me?" He murmured.

"Well, he doesn't really like to talk about it."

So he wasn't just depressed, he was in therapy because of it. It made Dean wonder what else he wasn't telling him.

._.__._.

Cas walked down the street, trying to clear his head. Dean was right; it was cold. He was just glad he was bundled up in Dean's jacket. The wind suddenly picked up, and Cas zipped up the jacket, flipping the hood up. He shoved his hands in the pockets and felt something inside.

He grabbed the strange object and got it out of the pocket. It was Dean's pocket knife. And this made him stop in his tracks.

A sudden thought crossed his mind. One that was very unintentional, as well as something he'd never do again. Not now that he had Dean.

But he couldn't help his thoughts. The two halves of his brain were in sudden conflict. Should he? Or should he not? Obviously he shouldn't, but at the same time, he could. Or perhaps it was the other way around.

But why bleed?

He put the knife back in his pocket and kept walking, trying to keep warm. Maybe the cold would help, as far as his depression went. It felt like hell, and made his nose, ears, and toes go numb, but if he didn't feel like crying anymore, it'd be worth it.

A tear or two fell down his face every now and then, drying up in the wintry chill, but that was fine. Just as long as he didn't break down like he did yesterday. He didn't want Dean to see him like that again.

As he walked, he kept thinking about the knife. But he didn't want to, he knew he wouldn't bleed. He refused to bleed. As tempting as it was, he knew he couldn't. He knew Dean wouldn't like it. He didn't want to upset him. What if Dean hated him for it? He didn't want Dean to hate him, so he wouldn't bleed. He was sure of that.

Until he realized he had slid it across his forearm.

._.__._.

As Dean waited for Cas's return, he talked with Jo and Charlie. They shared a few laughs, until Cas finally arrived.

He walked into Dean's room, a fake smile on his face. It couldn't be real, not after what he did. "Hey, Dean." He spoke flatly.

Dean gave a genuine smile and approached him. "Hey, baby." He kissed his cheek, realizing how cold it was. "You're freezing, c'mere." He sat with him on the bed, his arm around his shoulders, not really noticing much beyond the fake smile.

Cas rested his head on Dean's shoulder, sighing deeply. "Was I gone long?"

"Not too long, no."

"We were just talking about how you two, y'know, happened." Charlie spoke up.

"Oh. Yeah. You walked out on Lisa for me. Y'know, you never told me what motivated you. Y'know, what made you decide that that was the time to say anything."

"Lobster!" Charlie cheered.

Cas became confused. "Lobster?"

"Yeah, Charlie said that you were my lobster because lobsters mate for life. Then during my 'date' with Lisa, we were eating sushi. And there happened to be lobster rolls."

Cas felt some actual joy in that moment. "Really?"

"Would I lie?"

"You never know, the moment may arise."

Dean chuckled. "Well, I wouldn't. Not unless it was for a surprise."

Cas looked up at Dean. "When's your birthday?"

Dean was confused by the rather random question. "What?"

"Mine's September 26. When's yours?"

He wasn't sure why Cas was asking this, but he'd go with it anyway. "January 24. Why?"

"Because we should know everything about each other. What's your favorite color?"

And Dean kept going along with it. "Blue. What about you?"

Cas grinned briefly. "Green."

"Aww!" The girls smiled, ruining the moment for about the third time that day.

Dean and Cas chuckled, Dean holding his hand. "What's your favorite band?"

"Oh, tricky. I'd say probably Fall Out Boy. Unless Meghan Trainer counts as a band. Don't judge me."

Dean chuckled softly. "Mine is Led Zeppelin. There's no doubt."

"What's your favorite song?"

"A tie. Between Zep's Ramble On and Traveling Riverside Blues."

"My favorite is probably... Fade Into You by Mazzy Star."

Dean smiled, trying to think of the song. "Never heard it. Although, the title kinda makes it sound like a sex song." He whispered the last bit.

Cas chuckled softly, understanding what he meant. Every time he heard the song, he thought the very same thing. "What's your favorite movie?"

"Anything with Clint Eastwood in it. You?"

He gave it some thought, realizing he had no idea what his favorite movie was. But he soon remembered a movie that he became obsessed with in freshman year. "The Breakfast Club."

"Oh, that's a good one!" Dean smiled as he remembered that movie.

"That's my favorite, too!" Charlie exclaimed.

Jo shushed her. "They're having a gay moment, now hush." She whispered softly.

Dean grinned. "Favorite show?"

"I think you know the answer to that one."

"Well, why don't you tell me?"

"Then you can tell me yours."

"Same time?"

Cas smiled, nodding his head. "Okay. Three... two... one-"

"Doctor Who!" They said in unison, laughing when they realized each other's answers.

"You really are the greatest person alive, Dean." Cas found that his depression was just melting away as he sat here talking with the one he loved.

"I'm not as great as you, Pumkin."

"Oh, shut up, Peach."

Charlie couldn't hold back her curiosity. "Okay, I have to ask about these nicknames."

Jo groaned loudly. "Charlie-"

"No, it's okay, I like this story anyway," Dean smiled. "Don't you, Pumpkin?"

Cas returned the smile, this one genuine. "I do indeed, Peach."

They turned to face Jo and Charlie, Dean explaining the nicknames. "Okay, so, it was either yesterday or the day before, and Cas and I were watching a movie in the living room-"

"Oh! What movie?" Charlie asked.

Jo chuckled. "Charlie, quit asking questions!"

"It was The Odd Life Of Timothy Green." Cas answered.

Charlie gasped slightly. "Why would you do that to yourselves?"

"Charlie!" Jo silenced her, looking to Dean and Cas. "Continue."

Dean continued the story. "Okay. Well, we kept talking, and I told Cas that he was as sweet as pie. And he asked me what kind of pie, and I said 'Pumpkin.' So that's how his nickname happened. Peach happened because some time later, Pumpkin here thought that I'd need a nickname of my own, so he came up with Peach."

"Because you're his princess?" Charlie joked.

He shot her a slight bitchface. "No. Because, to quote Cas, 'we are all beautiful fruits'."

Charlie raised her hand. "Can I be Orange?"

"I'll be Pomelo!" Jo chimed in.

No one seemed to know what she was talking about. "Y'know... a pomelo. It's like a big grapefruit."

"Baby, it is so hot when you know things that other people don't." Charlie grinned, bringing her lips to Jo's.

Dean wanted to kiss Cas's lips, but he'd never kissed anyone before. He got a bit nervous at the thought, just because he wanted the first kiss to be perfect.

"Have you two kissed yet?" Jo asked.

"Not yet," Cas replied. "All in good time."

"Can you kiss now?" Charlie whispered.

They both chuckled. "Charlie, the moment will arise." Dean grinned.

"Okay." She paused for a couple seconds. "How about now?"

"Charlie," Jo scolded.

"What? I ship it like FedEx."

"Seriously?" Dean grinned.

"Yeah. Let me think... Casdean? No... Deanstiel. That's not it. How about... Deastiel? Wait a minute... Destiel! Perfect!"

"Destiel?" Dean questioned.

"I kinda like it." Cas smiled up at him. "Destiel. It's got a certain ring to it."

He smiled small. "Really?"

"Yeah. Do you like it?"

"I think I can learn to love it." He kissed Cas's forehead.

"I think you missed his lips." Charlie pointed out.

Jo chuckled, punching Charlie playfully on the shoulder. "C'mon, Charlie! You remember how long it took us to kiss on the lips?"

"Exactly. I don't want these two to follow our poor example."

"Guys," Dean grinned. "There will be kisses, just give it time. I mean, neither of us have ever kissed anyone before. I mean, I don't even think I know... how it works, y'know? But, rest assured, the time will come for kissing."

"How about now?" Cas suddenly grabbed Dean by the collar of his shirt, bringing their lips together at last.

Dean wasn't expecting this, but it was a pleasant surprise. He enjoyed the chaste touch of Cas's lips against his own. He brought his hand to the back of Cas's neck, returning the kiss. He welcomed the taste of Cas's rough, chapped lips. He would kiss them forever if he could.

The girls were clearly trying to suppress their fangirling, but it didn't seem to work, as they both inadvertently squealed with delight. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" Charlie shrieked, Cas and Dean having to stop and laugh. "You guys are the greatest two people on this planet!"

"Charlie, you ruined the moment!" Jo exclaimed.

"You squealed too, Jo!"

Cas smiled, resting his head on Dean's shoulder. "So. First kiss, huh?"

"Yep."

"You're a natural."

Dean smiled. "So are you... Pumpkin."

"C'mon, Charlie," Jo got off the bed. "Let's leave these crazy kids alone now."

Charlie shot her an incredulous look. "Um, or nah!"

Jo grinned, grabbing Charlie's hand and pulling her up. "Come on, now. Let's go. We're only ruining the moment for them. Repeatedly."

Charlie groaned as she was dragged across the room to the door, and they left. Dean wrapped his arm around Cas's torso, bringing him closer. "Alone at last, huh?" He smiled.

"It would appear so. We could get up to anything in here. Who knows? Things could get crazy."

Dean's smile grew. "Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?"

"Oh, I dunno, more kissing maybe?"

"I like that idea."

He brought Cas's lips to his own, wanting to smile in the middle of the kiss. This went on until Cas got onto Dean's lap, wrapping his legs around his waist, never breaking the kiss. Dean unzipped Cas's jacket, taking it off and letting it hit the floor.

Finally, Cas broke the kiss. "I love you, Dean."

Dean was about to reply, until he caught sight of something. On Cas's arm.

"Cas, what is this?"

He took Cas's arm, looking carefully at the cut he knew wasn't there when Cas left.