They had went into Dean's room where they simply held one another in the bed. This was all they really wanted; to be together.

"How did we not see it?" Cas spoke up after what felt like centuries of dead silence.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked.

"Well, it's just, now that I think about it, it was always... kinda obvious. Y'know, our feelings for each other. I mean, how'd we not see it?"

Dean smiled small. "Who knows? I guess we were just blinded by our love for each other."

Cas huffed a laugh. "Yeah, blinded like bats."

Dean chuckled softly, kissing Cas's forehead. "I've never met such a cute bat before."

Cas began to blush, his cheeks red as beets. "Stop it, you."

"Well I can't help it. You're the sweetest."

"Gah! Stop! You know I can't take a compliment!"

"Well you better learn how to, 'cause I'm gonna give them to ya, day and night." He teased.

Cas buried his face in Dean's shirt. "My face can't handle it!"

Dean smiled, running his fingers through Cas's hair. "You're too cute. Is that intentional?"

"Why? What makes me so special?"

Dean kissed the top of Cas's head. "Because you're you. Why fight it? You're amazing."

Cas looked up at Dean and smiled. "No one's ever loved me so much before. Not even my own parents."

"Hey, I'm sure they loved you."

Cas shook his head slightly. "The closest thing to a real father I ever had was Gabriel. He... taught me how to tie my shoes. He made me lunch for school every day. He let me hide under his covers on the nights when I had bad dreams. Our parents never cared. But... when they... when they died, he just... shut me out. He stopped caring, I guess. I was ten years old, and it was like I lost my parents and my brother. And now... I reminded him of someone he lost, and I know it must've hurt."

Dean was a bit breath taken by Cas's unexpected monologue. He had no idea that he'd been through so much. "Cas... I'm so sorry."

A single tear rolled down Cas's cheek, yet his expression remained completely stoic. "It's fine. I'm fine."

"No you're not."

Cas sucked in a deep, shaky breath. "Yes I am." More tears made their way down his rosy cheeks.

"Cas-"

"Yes I am, yes I am, yes I am." He sobbed into Dean's shirt, repeating the phrase constantly.

Dean rubbed his back up and down, trying to soothe him. He wasn't entirely sure what was wrong. It was doubtful this had everything to do with the whole Gabriel thing. "Cas, what's wrong?" He asked softly.

"Yes I am, yes I am, yes I am." He whispered, his voice muffled.

"Cas, I know there's more on your mind than you're letting on. Now what's wrong?"

"I wanna die sometimes."

Dean got chills at that sentence. "What?" He murmured.

"Sometimes I feel like dying. Just... wonder what it's like. Curious."

"Cas, you don't get 'curious' about stuff like that. You get curious about what's inside a box, or what's behind a door, not what death is like!"

"I guess I just feel differently." He spoke flatly, all emotion void in his voice.

"Cas, what the hell is wrong?"

"Depression's a bitch, isn't it?" He asked as though nothing were wrong.

Dean felt his heart jump up into his throat. Cas had depression. No, that can't have been what he meant. Could it?

"What?" He muttered.

"Maybe I can just sleep it off."

Dean took a deep breath. "Cas... what are you depressed for?"

He didn't respond. He adjusted his position so he could get comfortable, humming with content. Dean wasn't sure what to do. Cas was depressed, what could he do?

"Cas?" Dean whispered. He got no response; perhaps Cas fell asleep. It was much better than the crying, by far. Not to mention the way he spoke of death and depression.

He held Cas close, never wanting to let him go. He suddenly wanted to protect him from everything. The outside world, those horrible thoughts of depression, just everything. He loved him, and he'd never let him go.

He just held him in his arms, running his fingers through his dark hair. He loved that dark hair. Just like he loved those deep blue eyes of his. He always managed to get lost in them. He loved every little thing about Cas, and he'd help him through his depression as best he could.

Cas had a fitful sleep. He would call out in distress, crying for help, kicking and struggling. Dean calmed him down as best he could, hoping he could wake him up, but Cas wasn't waking up any time soon.

Dean couldn't help but worry for him. How often was he like this? Would it be a regular thing? He hoped not. He couldn't bear to see him this way.

Cas's kicking and screaming continued, on again off again, for about an hour. At that point, he was just calling out for Dean.

"Shh, I'm here baby," Dean would whisper in his ear. "I'm right here."

Eventually, he jerked awake, breathing heavily. He buried his face in Dean's shirt, never wanting to sleep again.

Dean held him close. "Hey, you okay?"

"N-no." Cas mumbled.

"Cas, baby, what's wrong?"

Cas took in a shaky breath, looking up at Dean. "My depression makes me see things. When I dream. I... I'm faced with my own emotions. It's like a dark pit full of sadness and anger. I have a case of manic depression. Bipolar disorder. It's... pretty bad."

"I can tell. How long has this been going on?"

"A while. A year or two maybe. It's like... a dark cloud. Y'know, like in some animated movies when that really sad character has the storm cloud raining above their head? That's pretty much what it's like."

Dean sighed lightly. "Jesus, Cas. Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I was ashamed. I didn't want you to think less of me because I was depressed."

Dean kissed his forehead. "I would never think less of you... Pumpkin."

Cas grinned briefly. "Again with the nickname."

"Sorry. Can't help it."

"No. I... I'm starting to like it. Pumpkin."

Dean smiled. "Good. 'Cause it's gonna stick."

"I think it already has." Cas grinned.

Dean suddenly realized something. "Hey Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?"

"We have a Christmas party to plan."

Cas was caught a bit by surprise. "Oh! Wow, I forgot all about that! Will it be at your house or mine?"

"It should probably be here. What sort of decorations do you think?"

"Uh... tinsel. Garland. Jingle bells. I have no clue."

Dean chuckled. "We'll figure everything out. Let's not worry about that now. Right now, I'm just gonna stay here with you, doing absolutely nothing."

Cas grinned. "Are we ever really doing nothing? Surely there's always some manner of something we're doing."

"Well said, Cas."

He just scoffed. "Shut up. Like you could've done any better."

Dean smiled and kissed his forehead. "I could stay in here with you forever."

"Me too. So, what, that means we'll be here until... what's today, Monday? I'd say... when time ends."

They both laughed. "God, what would I do without you?" Dean asked.

"Well, you'd certainly have one less person to snuggle with."

Dean smiled, kissing his nose. "You're cute." He kissed his nose again. "And you talk forever. I love it when you ramble."

"C'mon, Dean. I don't ramble. I mean, sure, I say more than I probably should, but that's just a habit formed from, y'know, nobody telling me when to shut up."

Dean chuckled. "And I find that positively adorable."

Cas started blushing. "Ugh, goddammit Dean! You know I hate blushing! It makes my face all hot!"

"Your face is always hot." Dean grinned, causing Cas to blush even deeper.

"Okay, I guess I kinda walked into that one."

"Look at you, with those red cheeks. You look like a rose."

Cas smiled. "Well, I prefer daisies, but I can live with looking like a rose."

"Daisies?"

"Yeah. Y'know, they're pretty and they smell nice. Well, I guess that's what a lot of flowers are like. But I just like daisies better. When I was eight, we had a rabbit named Daisy. She was the cutest little thing. She was white with blonde spots. I can't remember what happened to her. I think she went to live on a bunny ranch."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "A bunny ranch?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I remember. She got kinda sick, so my parents took her to a bunny ranch so she could get better. That's what Gabriel... told me," He started to realize the truth. "Son of a bitch, my rabbit died."

"Sorry, Cas."

"Hey, it's fine. It was like a million years ago. It... it's fine. I... I barely even remember that rabbit. It's not like she was the first pet I ever had or anything."

Dean sighed. "Cas-"

"It's okay, Dean. It's fine."

"You sure? Because you seem like the kind to get pretty... worked up."

Cas scoffed. "What? No. That's... ridiculous. She - she was just a rabbit, Dean. I'm... fine." He looked down at his hands, a sad look on his face.

Dean sighed again, kissing his temple. "You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. It's just that... when you find out you've been lied to like that, it sorta...-"

"Hurts?" Dean finished for him.

"A little bit." Cas murmured.

Dean kissed him on the cheek. "Don't worry; I'll never lie to you."

Cas smiled small. "I know you won't. Because if you did, I'd have no other choice that to kill you."

Dean chuckled, causing Cas to laugh with him. "You're the most adorable thing, Pumpkin."

"Y'know, we're gonna need a ridiculous nickname for you, too."

"Like what?"

He screwed his mouth to the side, thinking up a nickname. "How about... Peach?"

Dean scoffed. "Peach? Why Peach?"

Cas shrugged. "Might as well stick with fruit names. Peach. You'll be the Peach to my Pumpkin."

"The Peach to your Pumpkin? Interesting."

Cas rested his head on Dean's shoulder. "I don't deserve you."

"Don't be ridiculous. Of course you do. You're good enough for a thousand me's."

Cas chuckled softly. "Thanks. I think."

Dean smiled, kissing the top of his head. "Hey, Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?"

"Wanna hear some more guitar?"

Cas smiled. "Sure. What song do you have in mind?"

"You'll see."

He got up and grabbed his guitar, sitting at the foot of the bed. He glanced back at Cas before strumming the strings, playing a song he knew.

"Loving can hurt."

Cas quickly recognized the Ed Sheeran song and smiled.

"Loving can hurt sometimes.

But it's the only thing that I know.

When it gets hard,

You know it can get hard sometimes,

It is the only thing that makes us feel alive.

We keep this love in a photograph,

We made these memories for ourselves,

Where our eyes are never closing,

Hearts are never broken,

Time's forever frozen still."

Cas joined in from behind Dean as he wrapped his arms around his neck, turning the song into a duet. "So you can keep me,

Inside the pocket,

Of your ripped jeans,

Holdin' me closer,

'Til our eyes meet,

You won't ever be alone,

Wait for me to come home.

Loving can heal,

Loving can mend your soul,

And it's the only thing that I know,

I swear it will get easier,

Remember that with every piece of ya,

And it's the only thing we take with us when we die.

We keep this love in this photograph,

We made these memories for ourselves,

Where our eyes are never closing,

Our hearts were never broken,

Time's forever frozen still.

So you can keep me,

Inside the pocket,

Of your ripped jeans,

Holdin' me closer,

'Til our eyes meet,

You won't ever be alone.

And if you hurt me,

That's okay, baby, only words bleed,

Inside these pages you just hold me,

And I won't ever let you go.

Wait for me to come home.

Wait for me to come home.

Wait for me to come home.

Wait for me to come home.

Oh you can fit me,

Inside the necklace you got when you were 16,

Next to your heartbeat,

Where I should be.

Keep it deep within your soul.

And if you hurt me,

Well, that's okay, baby, only words bleed.

Inside these pages you just hold me,

And I won't ever let you go.

When I'm away,

I will remember how you kissed me,

Under the lamppost,

Back on 6th street.

Hearing you whisper through the phone,

Wait for me to come home."

They stopped and smiled at each other. "I've been meaning to get that out for a while now." Dean spoke softly.

"Have you now?"

He nodded. "Mm-hm." He kissed Cas's cheek. "You don't mind if I go out for the quickest little bit, do you?"

"No, of course not. Why? Where are you going?"

Dean propped his guitar up against the wall next to his closet door. "Uh, I gotta... run an errand real quick. Don't worry," He kissed Cas's forehead. "I won't be long." And he left, Cas unaware of what kind of "errand" Dean could've meant.

He sighed, also unsure of what he'd do while Dean was gone.

Where did Dean go in such a hurry? He seemed eager to get out of there. Was it something Cas did? He hoped he didn't scare him off somehow.

He decided not to worry about it. Surely Dean had his reasons for leaving. He just hoped he'd get back soon.

He got his phone out of his pocket, hoping maybe his music could distract him from worrying about where Dean was going. He didn't have any earbuds on him, so he looked for some in Dean's room. He felt that may be overstepping his bounds, but it's not like Dean would know. Right?

He soon found some in the middle drawer of his bedside table, and plugged them into his phone. He started listening to his favorite Fallout Boy album, Save Rock And Roll.

"Put on your war paint."

He laid down on the bed, feeling the soft comfort of the pillow against the back of his head.

"You are a brick tied to me that's dragging me down,

Strike a match and I'll burn you to the ground.

We are the Jack 'o Lanterns in July,

Setting fire to the sky.

Here comes this rising tide,

So come on."

He closed his eyes, drifting around in his own subconscious, finding many thoughts there. Thoughts he couldn't help but think. Thoughts about Dean, about himself, about the whole world pretty much.

He started thinking about his future, their future, as if he had a clue. He wanted to be with Dean forever. He wanted to grow old with him, until they were a couple of old grandparents, sitting in side by side rocking chairs on their front porch, just happy that they're together. He wanted to marry this boy, he had no doubt. He wanted three kids, a small house in California, maybe a beach house, he wasn't sure, and a little dog. Or possibly a cat. Of course, this all depended on what Dean wanted. Maybe Dean would want only two kids, or maybe to live in Wisconsin instead. He couldn't be sure.

It wasn't long before he faded off to sleep, dreaming of nothing but his beautiful Dean.

Dean, meanwhile, was on his way back to his place with the "errand" in the passenger seat. He couldn't wait to see the look on Cas's face when he showed him what he got.

He soon arrived at his apartment where Cas was waiting. He got the box from the passenger seat and went inside, going to his room with a smile on his face.

"Hey, Pumpkin, guess what I got!" He walked in only to find Cas asleep on the bed with earbuds in, music still playing from his phone.

He chuckled to himself, setting the box down at the foot of the bed. "Cas?" He whispered.

Cas groaned in his sleep, his right hand twitching as it hung loosely off the bed. "Don't go in there."

Dean chuckled softly, kneeling next to Cas. "Cas?"

He groaned again, jerking slightly. "No, don't... don't go in there. It's not funny."

Dean gently removed one of Cas's earbuds. "Cas?"

Cas suddenly woke up. "It's too dark in there." He murmured tiredly.

Dean couldn't help but grin. "Hey, Pumpkin."

Cas smiled up at him. "Hey there, Peach."

"I've brought you back something, my dear." He got up and grabbed the little box.

"And what might that be, darling?" Cas sat up and stretched his arms, smile still lighting up his face.

"Well, I was thinking about your, uh... your depression, and I remembered an old friend who had the same issue. And I remembered how much she talked about her dog helping her through it."

"Yeah?" Cas's smile grew slightly.

"Well," Dean opened the box. "You strike me as more of a cat person."

Cas got up and looked in the box, and what he saw left him speechless. There was a little kitten inside, looking up at him with big blue eyes.

He gasped at the sight. "Jesus, Dean. I... I can't... this is just too much."

"Think of it as an early Christmas present."

"I can think of it as whatever the hell I want, but it's still too much." He lifted the kitten out of the box, holding it close.

"Isn't she the cutest?" Dean smiled, putting the box on the bed.

"She is, Dean. I... oh my god, this is just... I - I can't, Dean. This is far too much."

"It's been proven that animals help with depression. Just think of her as a security blanket. With fur."

She was a tiny little thing, with a tiny red nose and the fluffiest fur Cas had ever seen. She was a light grayish-brownish color with a rusty red flare on her legs and the top of her head. There were dark markings on her forehead and back, and her chin and throat area on her neck were completely white. To put it simply, she was adorable.

"I love her. Dean, this is..." He smiled at Dean. "This is amazing. Thank you, Dean. Thank you so much." He wrapped an arm around Dean's waist while the other arm kept ahold of the kitten.

Dean returned the hug, kissing the top of Cas's head. "Anything for you, Cas."

(A/N: Okay, guys, I need your help with something.

I need to come up with a name for the kitten, but I'm not having much luck. I'm tempted to name her Daisy, but I want your input. If you have a better suggestion, post it in the comments, and I'll pick my favorite out of all of them. Okie, byeeee! ✌️)