"Cas, what is this?"

Cas found himself speechless. He didn't know what to say. "Um... I - I tripped. Earlier, I tripped and fell, I must've gotten cut on the ground or something. Didn't even notice."

"Y'know, Cas, you are a terrible liar."

Cas got to his feet, covering the cut on his arm. "I'm sorry, Dean. But... you don't know what it's like. Having manic depression. You don't know."

"Then enlighten me," He got to his feet as well. "What could possibly drive you to doing this to yourself?"

"Dean, when I'm in the middle of a manic episode, it feels like... I have nothing. It feels empty. And it makes me want to do this kind of shit. Even though I know I don't want to, I want to anyway. I mean, I've told myself that I'd never do this again, but sometimes it just... happens."

"'Again'?" Dean repeated. "What do you mean, 'again'?"

Cas just shook his head. "No," He murmured. "You-you'll hate me. D-don't hate me."

Dean softened his tone. "I won't hate you, Cas. How many times has this happened?"

He paused before answering. "Wh-when my parents d-died, I... I s-sorta lost it. Th-that was the first time. I... I thought it would help. And... after that... it only ever happened o-once or twice. Including..." He uncovered the small cut on his arm, the first one in a while, in fact. He was doing so well. "At least it's stopped bleeding."

"What's the point of all this, Cas? What's the point of... cutting?"

He took a deep breath, his eyes beginning to sting. "It's a distraction. The pain, it distracts from... the pain."

"To what end? How much pain are you gonna put yourself through until it stops?"

He sniffed, feeling his eyes fill with tears. "You hate me. Don't you? Y-you think I'm hideous."

Dean tried to be as gentle as he could. "You're not hideous. You are the most beautiful person I've ever met. But this? Cutting yourself? It won't get you anywhere? What do you gain? It's nothing but blood loss, there's no... there's no point. You need to stop. Promise me that you won't do this anymore."

Cas nodded, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. "O-okay. I... I promise."

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, comforting him as best he could. He felt really bad. Cas seemed to be going through a difficult time, what with his depression, and there was nothing either of them could do about it. Unless there was. "Have you tried... taking some kind of medicine? I know there's plenty of antidepressants out there."

"I've never liked the idea. You know what some of those side effects are lately? Ridiculous."

"It's worth a shot. I just can't stand seeing you like this." He looked down at Cas, giving him a gentle kiss. "I want you to be happy, no consequences."

Cas sighed softly. "It can't be that way. Not really. There will always be... episodes. And I'm not gonna take any damn medicine. I hate pills."

Dean grinned briefly, resting his forehead against Cas's. "Duly noted." He gave Cas a quick peck on the lips, and had an idea. "You wanna go out to... our tree? At the pond?"

Cas smiled small. "Yeah. I'd like that."

"Alright. Just let me get my shoes on, and we'll be on our way. Okay?"

He went and got his sneakers on. "Why don't you go out to the car?" He spoke as he tied his laces. "I'll be there in a minute."

"Alright." He gave Dean a quick peck and went to the car.

Dean got his laces tied, and went to get his MP3 player. He quickly downloaded some songs and got his earbuds. This was all part of his idea, and he knew Cas would love it. He grabbed a jacket, shoving the MP3 player and earbuds in the pocket and heading to the door.

"I'll be out for a little while, Sammy." He looked to his brother, who was in the living room watching a movie.

"I won't wait up." Sam replied.

Dean went to the car, starting to process Sam's meaning as he got in. "Ready to go?" He asked Cas.

"Absolutely." He smiled.

They drove down to the pond, sitting under the willow holding each other close. Cas noticed something in the pond and smiled. "Dean, look."

"What is it?" Dean looked where he was looking.

Cas pointed to the little family of ducks in the pond. "Right there. It's a little duck family." There was a male, female, and several ducklings.

Dean saw what he meant and smiled. "Yeah. Ducks love that pond. Me and Charlie saw them all the time when we were kids."

"Look at all the little ducklings." He started counting them all. "There are six of them. They're so cute." His smile grew as he watched them swim in the pond.

"They your favorite animal?"

"I'm not sure. I love them to death, but I've never really thought about a favorite."

"My favorite's the tiger. They're badass."

Cas chuckled softly. "Of course. Y'know, I think my favorite animal is probably the koala."

"Koala? Really?"

"Yeah. They're so freaking cute!"

Dean laughed a little. "Well, when you put it like that."

Cas rested his head on Dean's shoulder. "I love you so much, Dean."

"I...-" Love you. I love you. It was simple, why couldn't he say it? "-have a surprise for you."

Cas looked up at him. "Really?"

"Yeah. C'mon." Dean stood, taking Cas's hand and helping him up. He got his MP3 player out of his pocket, plugging in the earbuds. He put one earbud in his right ear, handing Cas the other one.

"What is this?" He asked with a small smile as he put the earbud in his left ear.

"You'll see." Dean replied, playing the first song on the playlist he made at the apartment earlier. "Or, should I say, you'll hear."

Cas recognized the song and smiled. "Dean... this is-"

"Our song," He smiled back. "It's our song."

"How do I,

Get through one night without you?"

"Care to dance?" Dean asked, remembering the night they first met.

Cas blushed, remembering this as well. "Absolutely."

"If I had to live without you,

What kind of life would that be?"

Dean placed his hands on Cas's waist, Cas placing his own hands on Dean's shoulders, similar to the way they danced the first time around, swaying in time with the music.

"Oh, I...

I need you in my arms, need you to hold,

You're my world, my heart, my soul,

If you ever leave,

Baby you would take away everything good in my life,"

"Dean, this is the most amazing thing anyone's ever done for me." Cas smiled, his eyes sparkling.

"It's nothing really. I just thought we could try that kiss again." He leaned in closer to Cas, who placed a finger on his lips.

"The end of the song. Remember?"

"Oh, you tease."

Cas smiled as they resumed dancing under the bright evening sun.

"And tell me now

How do I live without you?

I want to know,

How do I breathe without you?

If you ever go,

How do I ever, ever survive?

How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?"

"The song's almost finished now." Dean grinned.

"No it isn't, Dean. There's still like two minutes left."

"So?"

Cas smiled, resting his head against Dean's chest. "Good things come to those who wait."

"Without you,

There'd be no sun in my sky,

There would be no love in my life,

There'd be no world left for me.

And I,

Baby I don't know what I would do,

I'd be lost if I lost you,

If you ever leave,

Baby you would take away everything real in my life,"

Dean began to sing along, picking up on the words a bit.

"And tell me now,

How do I live without you?

I want to know,

How do I breathe without you?

If you ever go,

How do I ever, ever survive?

How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?"

"I love it when you sing," Cas smiled. "You're amazing."

"I'm nothing special. Especially compared to you, sweetness."

Cas blushed. "Stop that. I'm nothing special. Stop being modest."

"Then you stop being modest." Dean grinned.

Cas huffed. "You child."

"Please tell me baby,

How do I go on?

If you ever leave,

Baby you would take away everything,

I need you with me,

Baby don't you know that you're everything,

Good in my life?

And tell me now,

How do I live without you,

I want to know,"

"Tell me you love me." Dean murmured.

"You know I do." Cas replied.

"Tell it to me anyway, Pumpkin."

He smiled up at Dean. "I love you, Peach."

And this was his chance to say it back. At this point, he had to. No copouts, no backsies, no running. This was his moment. Say it.

"How do I breathe without you?

If you ever go,

How do I ever, ever survive?

How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?"

He realized the song was ending and went for the kiss, still unable to say the 'l' word. He didn't understand why, however. Why couldn't he say it? It was so simple, why was he making it a bigger deal than it actually was?

"How do I live without you?

How do I live without you baby?"

They stopped and gazed into one another's eyes, both smiling. "At least we're not dancing to some cliche like Thinking Out Loud," Cas murmured. "Although I do like that song, it's just such a, y'know, cliche."

Dean blushed slightly. "Yeah. Right."

"Why are you blushing? You never blush." He asked, just as the next song came on.

"When your legs don't work like they used to before."

Cas grinned. "Dean!"

Dean only shrugged before singing along to the next line. "And I can't sweep you off of your feet.

Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?

Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?

Darling I, will, be loving you, till, we're seventy.

And baby my, heart, could still fall as, hard, at twenty three.

I'm thinking 'bout how,

People fall in love in mysterious ways,

Maybe just the touch of a hand.

Well me, I fall in love with you every single day,

And I just wanna tell you I am.

So honey, now,

Take me into your loving arms,

Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars,

Place your head on my beating heart,

I'm thinking out loud,

That maybe we found love right where we are."

He brought Cas's lips to his own, forgetting the rest of the words. But that was fine. He was just glad they could finish that almost kiss. Now he felt complete. He stopped and smiled, running his fingers through Cas's dark hair. "I would dance with you into oblivion."

Cas smiled, giving him a soft kiss. "Then lead on." He whispered.

As they danced, the sun began to set over the horizon, and when Dean saw this, a smile spread across his face. "Make a wish, Cas," He whispered. "The sun is setting."

Cas saw the sunset and smiled back. "How can I wish for anything when I have everything I could ever ask for?"

Just as he said this, the song changed, and he knew exactly what it was.

"Oh my god, Dean!" He exclaimed. "I love 'N Sync!"

Dean smiled. "Good."

"Can this be true? Tell me, can this be real?

How can I put into words what I feel?

My life was complete, I thought I was whole,

Why do I feel like I'm losing control?

I never thought that love could feel like this,

And then you changed my world with just one kiss.

How can it be that right here with me,

There's an angel? It's a miracle."

They danced to all those songs, until they reached the end of the playlist. When the final song ended, Dean took out his and Cas's earbuds. "I don't wanna go just yet," He murmured. "Do you?"

Cas smiled small. "Not really, no."

Dean glanced up at the star-studded sky. "Let's just look up at the stars and spot constellations."

"I like that idea."

They laid out on the grass, holding one another, pointing out constellations. This day could've began a bit brighter, but the ending made it all worth it. Their nights should be like this all the time.

Cas pointed up at the sky somewhere. "Look, I see a rabbit!"

"Where?" Dean looked where he was pointing, trying to make out a rabbit shape.

"See the ears right... there?"

Dean started to see what he meant. "Oh, I see it now. A little bunny. Cute and sweet, just like you." He smiled at Cas, who blushed furiously.

"Shut up, I'm not a bunny." He grinned.

"Okay, sure." He looked back up at the sky.

"I'm not!"

"Okay then!"

They continued looking for constellations, Dean having a rather difficult time. He thought this would be easier, when in reality, it was complicated.

He pointed at the sky. "Hey, I see a... square."

Cas smiled. "Oh, so I see."

"It's a box. Anything could be in that box. There could be a... diamond... snake."

Cas chuckled softly. "A diamond snake?"

"Yeah, you know how awesome that'd be? A diamond freaking snake!"

Cas nodded along. "Yeah, that would be awesome."

Dean sighed, knowing he wasn't very good at this. "I know, I know, I suck at this."

"No you don't. Y'know, I didn't even see that diamond snake box."

Dean grinned. "You don't have to try and make me feel better. It doesn't matter if I suck or not. As long as I'm here with you, I'll be happy either way."

A cold breeze blew through, causing Cas to shudder. "Maybe I should've brought a jacket."

"Here." Dean sat up and took off his own jacket. "Take mine."

"I don't want you to be cold, Dean."

"Cas, I was born and raised in this freezing cold state, I know how to handle it." He gave Cas his jacket. "Besides, even if I did get cold, you've got the warmest heart I've ever seen, and it's warm enough for both of us." He smiled.

Cas returned the smile, sitting up to put the jacket on. "And if my lips get cold, all I have to do is kiss you. Because you have the warmest smile."

Dean smiled, giving him a kiss. "Is that so?"

Cas smiled and zipped up the jacket, shivering again. "It's cold enough to snow."

"Maybe it will. I'm surprised it hasn't already. This is Minnesota, right?" He grinned.

Cas shrugged slightly. "It happens. But I bet when it does snow, it's gonna snow a lot."

"Yeah. C'mon, let's look for more constellations," He laid down in the grass. "I will master this art, one way or another."

Cas chuckled, laying down beside him, his arm wrapped around Cas's shoulders. "Don't worry. It's easy."

Dean scoffed. "Yeah, for you maybe. All I see are... dots."

"Exactly. It's like a giant connect-the-dots game."

Taking that into consideration, he looked up at the sky, mentally connecting all the stars together. He soon found an image and smiled. "A heart."

Cas scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion. "What?"

Dean pointed to the heart shaped constellation. "Right there. A heart almost as big as yours."

He saw the heart and blushed thoroughly. "My heart's nowhere near that big, Dean."

"Don't be ridiculous. Look at you. You're so sweet and caring. I don't have to look to the sky to see the stars, I can just look at you and see everything. You mean the world to me, flaws and all. And don't you tell yourself any different."

Cas smiled, overwhelmed with emotion. "You're too good to me, Dean Winchester."

Dean returned the smile, kissing him gently. "And you're too good for me, Castiel Novak."

They continued spotting constellations, the only other sound being the chirping of crickets. "Oh, look, there's a star!" Cas pointed to the sky.

Dean resorted to sarcasm for this one. "Don't be ridiculous, Cas. Why would there be a star up in the sky in the middle of the night?"

Cas chuckled. "No, I mean a five pointed pentagram thingy. See?" He pointed carefully at the pentagram shape amongst the stars.

Dean saw what he meant. "Huh. A star in the stars. Star-ception."

He grinned, looking carefully for another constellation. "Alright, I see... oh! There's a dog!" He pointed to the cluster of stars. "A... strangely deformed dog, but a dog nonetheless."

Dean smiled, too tired to actually look for the constellation, so he just tiredly agreed. "Yeah, it is."

After a pause, Cas spoke up again. "Oh, a Mickey Mouse face." He murmured.

Dean's eyelids grew heavier and heavier. "Uh huh."

After another subtle pause, he saw another one. "There's a... car. See?" He asked softly.

"Yeah. See."

Cas sighed tiredly. "Robot... peacocks... on ice." He mumbled sleepily.

"Yeah." He suddenly realized what Cas said. "Wait, what?"

He heard soft snoring and looked over at Cas, who had fallen asleep. He smiled lazily, kissing Cas's forehead. "Goodnight... Cas my angel."

Just before he dozed off, he could have sworn he heard himself say, "Love you."