Devin wakes to the blaring alarm on his phone. For a moment he is lost, looking about the pastel hues that surround him, the neat shelves of books, the embroidered lace curtains filling and falling with the draft from the heater, but then Cerise stirs beside him and memories of last night enliven. He watches her sit up and stretch, a peculiar warmth diffusing in his chest, his stomach, down his arms to his palms; he reaches out to lay a hand on her thigh. Turning to him, she smiles coyly, before plucking his phone from the nightstand and turning off the alarm. She hands the device to him.

"Time to go?" She sounds melancholic. She looks melancholic.

Letting his hand go up her thigh and around her waist, Devin pulls her back down to his side. "So it would seem..."

"Already?" she asks, hooking one lissome leg over his hip as she cuddles closer.

Devin tightens his arms around her. "Already..." he breathes out, his eyes sliding closed as Cerise's fingertips trace his brows, his cheeks, his nose.

"A thing of beauty is a joy for ever," she hums. He feels her lips brush gently over his eyelid, then his cheekbone. "Its loveliness increases, it will never pass into nothingness..."

Devin opens his eyes and draws her in for a long kiss; her mouth is as pliant and responsive to him as his heart is in her hands. She is the one who breaks it, withdrawing and looking at him with an intensity that burns. He cannot hold her gaze, and he takes to looking at her hair instead. His fingers follow, entangling a stray tendril. "You have to go to school," he hears her say.

"I know... in a bit."

"Will you come back?"

At that, Devin finds it within him to lock eyes with her again. The question is simple, until it isn't. It's not just about today, but about tomorrow, and the day after. And the days following. It has opened something raw in him, honest and familiar, but simultaneously so obscure, so new. "I said I would," he reminds her.

"Promise?"

"Where else would I go? You're all that there is..."

Devin has never felt so exposed before. Cut up and splayed open - a frog on a board. So very vulnerable. But at his core, he knows this is the only place he can ever truly be vulnerable. With Cerise. Cerise will keep him safe. But then again, she could stab him twenty-seven times and he would bleed out with a smile on his face. So long as it is Cerise. She could be the Selene to his Endymion, or the Brutus to his Caesar... so long as it is her.

"I will always come back to you."

***

After Devin's departure, Cerise cleans the kitchen, then straightens up around the house. When that's done, she works on the assignments that Devin had helpfully brought by. Finally, she cleans her room and goes through the list of chores that Jennifer had emailed, checking them off as she completes them. She would have felt the tiredness of all the work has she not anticipated seeing Devin again at the end of the day. She is suddenly struck by how big a part of her life, how much of her motivations seem to revolve around him...

I will always come back to you.

She turns the words over and about in her mind, feeling the honesty in them, holding the weight of them. And I will always wait for you, she promises.

Soon it is time for her to go to work. Cecilia, Jennifer's store manager, is nice and kind and surprisingly fun-loving. With her silly jokes, her contagious laughter, Cecilia is a breath of fresh air and Cerise is glad for it; she makes time at the store pass more easily than she expects. And so, the hours go by. Before Cerise knows it, hours become days, days become weeks, and weeks make the month.

And Devin always comes back to her, like he said he would, and she always waits for him.

When her period of grounding is over, Cerise is happy to meet him in school. Passing him with fleeting touches between classes, staying together during recess, eating, studying, laughing, living – she has never lived quite so much. Sitting in the loading deck of Devin's pick-up, she adores watching the sun set with him as they share a can of beer and many kisses. When Jennifer returns from Seattle, Cerise finds another way to spend time together. She has him sneak in from the kitchen door after hours; uncharacteristically daring for her, but worth every risk. They have to be quiet and that's okay – they do not need to talk to say anything. He says all that needs saying by just being there – he warms her side, he warms her bed, he warms her heart.

More days go by; time is fluid and fast, as though unwilling to let their moments last. But time's efforts are immaterial, for they always find more moments. Make more moments. Even though they all add into seemingly countless moments, Cerise cherishes each one.

Another month comes to an end, calling winter in its endsay. The precursory season to winter, however, is exam season. Mid-terms sit squat and ugly between autumn and winter, becoming their own season in Cerise's mind. While it is technically still fall, the stress of performing well in the examinations is pervasive compared to the subtleties of the changing seasons. This stress is particularly ruthless the day before her Calculus paper.

She sits with her binder full of integral formulae on her lap, across from Devin who leans back against a hickory, perusing through his AP Physics notes. His phone is on the grass between them, music playing softly on Spotify. This has become a norm for them; to finish their paper of the day and meet at the hickory woods to revise for the next exam until the last bell goes out.

"Oh gosh, I can't remember. I can't remember." Cerise drops her head in her hands, letting out a frustrated groan. "What am I gonna do?"

"Why are you panicking?" Devin asks, setting aside his notebook and shifting over to her.

"I can't help it... this is hard."

Devin aligns the binder towards himself. "Well, you've done this. All of this. You've solved every kind of equation in our syllabus."

"I know, but—"

"You've gotta believe in yourself," he tells her, "I believe in you."

"I just feel like I'm gonna forget all the conversions..." Cerise groans again, falling back into the grass and rubbing her eyes. Sensing Devin recline beside her, she turns to look at him. He lies on his back, face turned to the canopy of hickory leaves that shelters them.

"You know why I keep telling you not to panic?" he asks.

"Why?"

"Because panic clouds your memory and your analytical abilities," he says matter-of-factly, "and then you can't bring to mind the formulae you worked so hard to learn and understand, and then you panic even more. And then, blackout in the middle of the exam."

Cerise elbows his side. "That's not making me feel better."

"The key to solving integrals is to be calm and think clearly," continues Devin, unfazed. "Also, you don't have to ace it, you know... just give it your best. Take it easy, Cherry."

Inhaling deeply, she releases the breath through her nose. "Okay, yes. Yeah, you're right, I've worked very hard. There's no way I'm gonna fail." Then she reaches over, bracing her arms on either side of his head as she hovers above him. "Especially since I've had such a capable tutor."

Her braid falls over her shoulder and down to his chest. She watches him play with her locks, feeling his free hand settle at the small of her back. His eyes reflect the sunbeams that break through the roof of hickory leaves. They remind her of clear lakes amidst green groves; open, summery, cool. His smile is indulgent and Cerise's heart is a hummingbird – ever-flittering. They stay like that for so long that her arms begin to hurt, so she eases herself down upon him, bringing their faces only a hair's breadth apart. This close, she can smell the burned, piquant aroma of the clove cigarettes he smokes. There's a tingling alight in her belly; her breath judders inadvertently.

"What are you thinking about?" asks Cerise, her voice low and husky.

"About the first time I saw you... it was right here." His hand releases her braid, coming up to touch her cheek. "About how I was such an asshole. I... I hurt you and I'm so sorry and I don't know—"

Cerise silences his tirade with a kiss. "Shush now... water under the bridge..."

"But—"

And she kisses him yet again. Pulling back, she says, "all I remember about that time is how homophobic you were."

Devin makes a sound of protest. "I wasn't homophobic! I just... used awful slurs and... well, that was a lapse in character."

She snickers. "Mhmm, agreed."

"I don't do that anymore though," he says, sounding a little pleased about ameliorating his character.

"I know," Cerise acknowledges, dropping a peck on the tip of his nose. "And I'm proud of you."

"But I still hate humans," he conveys, making a face, "every last one of them."

"What? Nooo..." Pouting in mock hurt, she queries, "even me?"

"Oh, but you're not human." There's a sparkle in Devin's eyes, ripples catching sunlight. "You're a star. You fell quietly through the airglow and I was the only one who saw it."

Cerise doesn't know what to say to that, unsure if she should say anything at all. The profundity of it envelops her and she wishes she could stay in that stasis forever. Presently, she realizes that she's in love with him. No, not just him. She is in love with the quintessence of Devin; everything that makes Devin Devin. He is at the cynosure of all her love. Suddenly overwhelmed, she takes his face in her hands and presses her lips to his. She kisses him till there's only the two of them and the pacific-northwestern garage rock band serenading in the fading milieu.

|| Cold skin all the time
Idle hands so you hold mine
Say it helps with keeping you together and you hold tight
I'm losing feeling in my fingers but I don't mind

Stay up all night
Real love for the first time
And I can't tell if this is all a dream or if I'm really here
But as long as I can feel you I don't really care, I don't really care ||

***

a/n: you guys have to listen to the track; it makes my heart hurt with its loveliness and melancholic urgency.