"shh."

the last of my tears rolled down my cheeks,

being caught by the boy's chest.

jungkook rubbed my back and tightly held my waist as he cuddled me as close as possible.

"i'm a fucking embarrassment."

at least i stopped crying though.

"no you're not. your father is a piece of shit." he tried his best to soothe me.

what can i say?

i'm a little bitch.

"you're such a self cautious person and i can't even begin to understand why because you're actually so fucking beautiful and perfect in every way and it makes me want to scream and just punch everyone because you think so damn lowly of yourself."

he sighed,

drawing circles on my shoulder blade.

"stop." i muttered into his shirt.

i couldn't take compliments.

not anymore.

"that's what i mean, jimin. you never believe me when i say anything good about you, even though i tell you all the time. i love you so much, but you probably don't even believe that."

i felt so bad for him.

he knew i didn't feel the same.

he knew i was only here because i had no one else,

yet he didn't care.

when i told him,

he said he felt honored to even be used by me like that.

it made me sick of myself.

i don't want to hurt him the same way i was hurt,

but my heart just doesn't want him,

or anything right now.

it just wants one thing.

the only thing it's ever wanted despite how much i try to stop it.

min yoongi.