i turned on the water,

letting the bathtub fill.

i looked in the mirror.

i looked like a mess;

same as usual.

my hair was in every direction,

and my jaw was bruised.

there were even bruises all over my arm from my father.

i was lucky my mother had come home early.

if not,

he probably would have beat me until i passed out.

as the bath finished filling,

i took off my clothes.

the few on my stomach was even darker than the others.

he kicked me so fucking much.

i sank myself in the bath,

letting the cold water consume me for awhile.

panic raised throughout my body,

so i was forced to surface for air.

i sat up,

just thinking.

every little thing triggered me right now.

yoongi,

that girl,

jungkook,

school,

my father.

i wanted to be okay.

i wanted a way to feel okay.

i needed protection from my father and myself.

i was scared.

it may make me a bitch boy,

but i was terrified of being hit again.

i just want to runaway.