GENEVIEVE ASHBOURNE'S POV

I arranged a decent burial for her. I owed her of what my life now. But she just leaved just like that. I hope you'll have a better life in the after life. You're a nice person Aurora, I know you'll be in a paradise where you won't experience these sufferings in this life.

I put the flowers in her tombstone and walked away.

While driving to the Hospital, I was dazzled by a bright light in front kahit wala naman akong nakitang makakasalubong ko. Mabuti na lang at na-ipreno ko.

I saw an elegant woman wearing a princess gown. She's standing in front of a tree. I don't know what kind of tree is that. Until she catch the fallen fruit and planning to eat it. But she was stop by a man. He's too handsome for an ordinary man I saw. Like the woman, he's also wearing a royal garments. It is black with bloody red type of cloth. I think they are a couple who are in a fantasy.

The man beg the woman not to eat the fruit. My instinct told me that the fruit maybe is poisonous that's why I feel irritated when I saw her disregard her man's words and she bite the fruit without hesitation. Something is telling me to hate the woman. After she ate the fruit, everything turn into plain deserted place. Gone the ethereal beauty and fantastic land. In a flash transition, the two already lying in the ground running out of breath. But the man still managed to draw close to the woman who caused the disaster.

I snap and come back to reality when someone knock at my window. Binaba ko yung binata at sumilip doon ang pulis.

"ma'am, ano nasiraan po ba kayo. Kasi nakakaabala na po kayo sa ibang sasakyan, ma'am."

"ahh! Bigla kasi ayaw umandar. Sorry po. Pwede na po ba akong umalis?" tumango siya kaya pinagpapawisan na pinatakbo ko ang kotse.

Shet. Kala ko makokonfiscate na ang sasakyan ko.

I still remember what is saw. Para akong nasa ibang dimensiyon. Diko alam kung imagination ko lang iyon. Pero baliw na ba ako para mag-imagine sa gitna ng highway?

Tulala akong pumasok ng Hospital.

Nang walang ginagawa dito sa office ko ay naisipan kong tumaas muna sa rooftop para mag pahangin.

Pagkarating ko sa rooftop ay hangin agad ang sumalubong. Hapon na at wala na ang araw kaya magandang tumambay dito. If I stay in my office, baka kung ano-ano na naman ang maiisip ko.

Napansin kong may nakaupo sa railings. Nilapitan ko siya at nakitang si Travis.

"you're here too." I said to make him know that someone is also here.

"hmm..." tanging sagot niya.

Sumampa rin ako sa railing kaya nagulat siya. Sinubukan din niyang alalayan ako pero huli na dahil nakapwesto na ako ng maayos kaya muli siyang bumalik sa dating posisyon niya.

"palagi ka ba rito?" tanong ko.

Tumango lang siya at hindi pa rin nagsalita. Hinayaan ko na lang kaya tumahimik na rin ako. Pinagmasdan ang mga hindi matapos-tapos na taffic sa baba at mga pedestrian na may kanya-kanyang pinagkakabusyhan.

"how are you?"

Napalingon ako sa kanya nang magsalita siya. I still don't gets his question until he turned his head on me and look at my eyes with his deep stare. From those, I know that he already knows what happened to me.

I show him a polite smile.

Huminga ako ng malalim at tumingin sa taas bago nagsalita.

"I'm taking it one day at a time. Some days are harder than others, but I'm grateful for the support and courage I have. Everyone is just a passengers on the ship of fate, sailing through the sea of existence." I said while looking at the sky.

He just listened and didn't talk again.

"how are you?" binalik ko rin sa kanya ang tanong niya.

Hindi siya lumingon o nagreact man lang. Nanahimik siya ng ilang minuto at nagsalita.

"i can't imagine how you live and created your journey until this time. I just realized that I am more grateful than you. I've been criticizing myself but I still don't want to accept a words from a woman who only said those encouraging words because she's not in my situation. Kasi sino ba siya? Oo matagal na siya rito sa Hospital. Yes, she's one of the experience doctor, she's one of the great, she carried the name of this Hospital. Pero nakuha lang naman niya ang mga title na yun dahil malapit siya sa director. While me, I have been trying my best, saka ko lang makukuha ang achievement kapag halos nagawa ko na ang lahat. Kapag halos mamatay-matay na ako dahil sa kakapuyat. I envy her to have a strong backer who will support her no matter what." he said with out looking at me.

Habang ako ay nakatitig lang sa side view ng mukha niya. I know he have many frustration and resentment in his heart. But I'm glad he's taking it out now. I smiled and look at the sky while listening to him.

"but I never expected to hate myself more after knowing everything she had done to be in the place she's right now. To achieve those great things she had. To have her great reputation and to be admired by many by her skills and courage. I live my life with my parents, friends, and supportive relatives who's always there to support and comfort me at my greatest downfall. While she only run to a dark place where she can cry out all her sufferings and stand up again to face the cruelty of this world. But now that she found a person who can she share all her problems, the fate didn't make her friend stay longer for her. How can she continue living her life while encouraging others too?" he asked in his last line.

I felt that he looked at me but I never turn my head. Nanatili ang tingin ko sa taas habang pinipigilan ang mga luha na tumulo. Ayokong pantayin ang mga tingin niya dahil ayokong makita niya ang mga pulang-pulang mata ko ngayon.

"she's a woman who born with bad luck too. Maybe she saves all her bad luck to have her life right now. She have her stable life and she's now living her dreams. But fate really wants her to feel the harsh life. It took her one and only closest friend. It looks like fate do not want her to be happy, to live a good life." I said while trying my best not to cracked my voice.

"fate? I think you are capable of more than you know. I believe you can change your fate by your strong will and perseverance." He said.

After that talk ay napagdesisyunan namin bumababa at umuwi. Magdidilim na kasi.

Nang nasa bungad na kami ng pinto ay nakasalubong namin si Clifford. He looks tired and loss. Parang katulad ko, katulad namin ni Travis, pumunta rin siya rito sa rooftop para magpahangin at mag-isip. Kung hindi ko pa siya papansinin ay siguradong hindi niya kami mapapansin kahit nasa harapan niya lang kami.

"Clifford." pagtawag ko sa kanya.

Saka lang siya napatingin sa amin dahil diretso lang ang tingin niya kanina.

Tumingin siya sakin saka tumaas ang tingin niya kay Travis. Muling binalik ang tingin niya sa akin at tinanguan lang kami at nagpatuloy na sa paglalakad.

Nilingon ko siya habang papunta siya sa may railings.

Everyone has its own grievances, really. We are all wounded souls. The deepest wounds are often concealed behind the bravest smiles. Clifford, we may not be that close friends, may you find solace in your own strength and managed your grievances with self-compassion.

Dumaan muna kami kami ni Travis sa office ng director para tanungin kung may progress ba sa investigation about sa nangyari.

Bubuksan ko pa lamang ang pinto nang nakarinig kami ng tawa sa loob. Parang may good news na nangyari.

"good! Good job! Doctor Crester. I didn't know that you'll handle it flawlessly without alerting the enemy." masayang papuri ni director kay Doc. Crester.

Hindi ko na narinig pa ang ibang usapan nila dahil umalis na ako. Narinig ko pang tinawag ako ni Travis pero sinenyasan ko lang siya na siya na lang ang pumasok.

I don't want to enter because I don't want to ruin the atmosphere inside. Hindi ko alam pero imbes na malulungkot ako dahil someone is taking the director's favor, I felt relieved instead. Crester is a good man and I hope he won't disappoint the director.

Sa daming ganap sa buhay ko ay nag leave muna ako sa trabaho ng 1 week at walang tanong-tanong na inapprovan iyon ng director. At sa loob ng isang linggo na yun ay ginugol ko iyon sa pagt-travel. While eating in a high-end restaurant, yes, mag-isa akong kumakain at nag s-solo date, may lumapit sa akin na isang lalaki. Mukhang foreigner.

"Hi, can I seat here?"

Ngumiti lang ako at tumango. Kasalanan ko rin naman kasi dahil itong pang dalawahan na part ang inupuan ko.

"you're alone?" tanong niya ulit. I don't know if he's a good or a bad guy. So I just nodded again for response at walang ano-ano na sumubo ng pagkain.

"i think we can be---" hindi niya natapos yung sasabihin niya nung tumunog ang phone ko na nakapatong sa lamesa.

Nang makitang si nurse Anne ang tumatawag ay mabilis akong uminom ng tubig at tumayo. Lumabas ako ng restaurant para sagutin yung tawag.

"Anne, what is it?" bungad ko sa kanya pagkasagot ko ng tawag.

"Clifford need you. He needs you right now!" natatarantang sabi niya.

Hindi na ako nagtanong kung bakit. Muli akong bumalik sa loob ng resto para bayaran yung kinain ko pagkatapos ay patakbong pumuntang parking at mabilis na pinatakbo ang sasakyan papuntang hospital.

Hindi pa tapos ang leave ko pero ang trabaho ay trabaho. Kailangan eh. To save lives is more important than personal liesure. Yan ang sinumpa namin sa aming mga sarili as a doctor.

Pagkarating ko sa Hospital ay nasa labas na si Anne at Ayesha na nag-aabang sa akin.

Patakbo akong hinarap sila.

"what happened to Clifford!?" halos pasigaw na tanong ko dahil sa pag-aala. I know something is off about him, and he's a kind of depressed.

"kumalma ka muna! Walang masamang nangyari sa kanya!" sigaw sa akin ni Anne dahil halos magusot ko na ang damit niya.

"Ha?" sagot ko.

Habang naglalakad ng hallway ay dinidiscuss nila sa akin ang nangyari.

Nasabi nila na ang tita pala ni Clifford ay naisugod dito sa hospital.

"she's 45 years old. Base on her statement, nakakaramdam daw siya ng sobrang sakit sa abdominal, distension, and constipation for the past three weeks. She reported a history of recurrent episodes of abdominal pain over the last few years. Nakailang pacheck up daw siya sa iba't-ibang public Hospitals. They have the same diagnosis, it's an Adhesive small bowel obstruction and they treated it by conservative mangement using intravenous fluids. Pero nag rerelapse parin daw everytime. But the pain was more severe and associated with vomiting. Sinubukan ulit itakbo ni clifford sa ibang Hospitals pero tinanggihan nila. The hospital said that they can't find other result or anything in the CT-scan that make the pain severe. They still concluded na simpleng Adhesive small bowel obstruction lang yun. Hanggang sa last option ni Cliffor ay dalhin na lang dito." paliwanag ni nurse Anne.

"bakit hindi siya rito nagpacheck up in the first place? Lalo na at dito nagt-trabaho ang pamangkin niya? Hindi ba nirecommend ni Clifford ang Hospital natin sa kanya?" tanong ko.

Umiling lang sila pareho kaya diko na pinursue ang tanong ko.

"patingin ng CT-scan."

Inabot naman sa akin iyon ni Ayesha na halos natatalisod na sa paglalakad. Pilit na humahabol sa lakad naming dalawang ni Anee. Sa aming tatlo, siya kasi tulog nung nagpaulan ang deity ng katangkaran.

"ano may nakita ka bang kakaiba?" tanong ni Anne.

"is this the latest scan? Kailan 'to?" tanong ko.

"kakalabas kagabi ang result." sagot ni Ayesha.

Tinitigan kong mabuti ang scan at tsaka napahinto sa paglalakad.

"ano?" pareho nilang tanong dahil kanina pa sila nag-aabang ng reaction ko.

"i don't think it's just an adhesive small bowel obstruction. There's something to it."

Pagkatapos kong sabihin iyon ay patakbo akong dumeretso sa room ng tita ni Clifford.

Tanging apat na nurse lang ang nagbabatay sa kanya at nagtaka pa ako dahil wala si Clifford. Lumapit ako sa pasyente at saktong sumuka siya ng kulay berde. Muntik pa akong masukahan. Lumapit ako at dinidiinan niya ng mariin ang kanyang abdomen parts habang nagrereklamo sa sakit at pinagpapawisan.

Tinanggal ko ang kamay niya ron pero ayaw magpahawak kaya hinawakan siya ng mga nurse.

"nurse Anne." pagtawag ko sa kanya.

"i'm here!" sagot niya pagpasok niya ng pinto.

"sabi mo kanina she's experiencing the pain over a few years?"

"Yes. Yun yung nasa report niya."

"Is that true Mrs. Fernandez?" tanong ko sa pasyente habang dinidiinan ang abdomen niya na parang may hinahanap. Dahil sa sakit ay hindi siya nakasagot kaya tumango lang siya.

"she does't have bloating. And something is wrong in the CT-scan. It's not that simple."

Lumingon ako kay Anne.

"si Clifford?"

"Nandon sa office ng Director, nagwawala."

"ikaw muna ang bahala rito." and I run to my office to take my white gown at tsaka tumaas na office ng director.