GENEVIEVE ASHBOURNE'S POV

Habang kumakain ako ng baon ko dito sa office ay may kumatok sa pintuan bago sumilip ang isang staff.

"ito po ba yung office ni Doctor Genevieve Ashbourne?" tanong niya.

Nilunok ko muna ang huling subo ko at uminom ng tubig saka tumayo. Nakalimutan ko nga palang lagyan sa labas ng sign at pangalan ko dahil tinanggal ko yung dati.

"ito nga. Bakit?"

"nasaan po siya?" tanong niya.

Napa-ubo ako sa tanong niya. Ba't parang maraming bago ngayon. New face din kasi ito. Malaki ang Hospital pero sa ilang taon na pagt-trabaho rito ay familiar na ako sa lahat ng mga mukha, even sa mga part-timer at mga maintenance worker. Pangalan lang nila ang hindi ko alam.

She maybe not recognize me as a doctor or even nurse here dahil sa suot kong pambahay lang.

"ah! My name is Genevieve Ashbourne." pagpapakilala ko sa sarili ko.

Nanlaki ang mata niya at medyo nagblush.

"ayy! ikaw po pala doc. hehe." binigyan ko siya ng isang genuine na ngiti para mabawasan ang kaba niya.

"anyway, ba't mo pala ako hinahanap?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"pinapatawag ka po ng director sa office niya." saad niya.

Nagtaka man kung bakit tsaka dati naman ay kung may importante siyang sasabihin ay ini-email niya na lang yun ng diretso sa akin.

Pinalabas ko muna siya saglit para mag ayos. Halos tinatlong subo ko ang nasa lunch box na pagkain at nabubulunan na uminom ng tubig. Gutom ako eh. Pagkatapos ay naghugas ng kamay at naglagay ng sanitizer alchol. Saka basta nalang sinuot ang lab gown at binalot sa buo kong katawan para di makita ang pambahay na suot ko. Nagmadali kasi ako kaninang umaga kaya wala rin akong nakuhag extrang damit. Nag-ayos ng buhok and tsaran! Hindi na ako mukhang pasyente. Nagmukhang doctor ulit.

Pagkalabas ko ay sumilip pa sa likod ko ang babae na parang may hinihintay siyang lumabas don.

"let's go." saad ko kaya napatulala siya sa akin. Hinayaan ko lang siya at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad. Humabol naman siya sakin nung mahimasmasan siya.

"i'm Elora Isadora pala. Bagong secretary ng director." pagpapakilala niya. Siya na ang pumindot sa 18th floor ng Hospital.

Nang malapit na kami sa office ng director ay nakarinig kami ng kalabog sa loob. Parang pagalit na pinalo ang table kaya napahinto kami.

"galit na galit ang director sa isang doctor na katulad ko ay bago rin. Kaya inutusan niya akong tagawin ka." paliwang ni secretary Elora.

I think it's the doctor we encountered in the operating room.

Huminga ako ng malalim.

"look what you did! It is circulating in all social media platform that our hospital is malevolent! Ano pa? Is it negatively evaluated because of your malpractice! Negligence, unsafe, notorious...ano pa yung iba? Ha!? you--!" pagalit na sigaw ng director.

Walang katok-katok na pumasok ako kaya napatigil siya. Sumunod sa akin si Sec. Elora at inalalayan ang director na maupo at inabutan ng tubig dahil halos hindi na makahinga. Napatingin ako don sa doctor na walang reaksyon at nakayuko lang habang tinatanggap lahat ng sigaw ni director Ren. He own this hospital and run it for almost 4 decades. He's still in his 18's noong napasa sa kanya ang responsibilidad dahil sa maagang pagpanaw ng parents niya. He is too young to run a large hospital. But he managed it carefully with a good reputation. And now, he almost in his retirement age kaso yung dalawang mga anak niya, walang interest na tulungan siya. And wala rin interest na manahin ang Hospital. One of his child na babae ay nasa isang modeling industry, habang ang lalaking anak niya ay nasa business industry.

Kaya minsan ay napansin ng mga ka workmate ko na tinuring din akong anak ng director. Expected na rin nila na baka sa akin daw ibibigay ang karapatan ng hospital na ito. It means baka sa akin niya ipasa. Pero I never dream to hold a big responsibilities like that. I am now contented that I am living to the dreams I have been dreaming before.

"you're already here. Come, help me settle this problem." saad niya habang hinihimas ang dibdib niya. Mukhang hindi pa rin humuhupa ang pagtaas ng dugo niya.

"you should take care of your health, sir. Alam mo namang hindi ka na bata bata para isigaw pati ang kaluluwa mo sa galit. It's better to talk about it in a calm manner." pag a-advice ko sa kanya.

"sinong hindi sisigaw kung-----! ang puso ko!"

"sir!" inalalayan siya ulit ni Sec. Elora.

"oo na, oo na. Kumalma ka muna, sir." saad ko tsaka naupo sa tabi nitong isang kanina pang hindi nagsasalita.

"you are..?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"Travis Shin. I really have a bad luck. It's pity that I implicated you all." saad niya sa mahinag boses.

Lumingon ako sa director. "actually, wala naman kasalan si Travis sa nangyari---"

"alam ko, alam ko! Hayss! I just don't know how to settle this." saad ng director habang bumubuntong hininga.

This time, napataas na ng ulo si Doc. Travis.

"i know, wala kasalanan si Doc. Travis because base on the staff that assisted him, testified that he did all the means to save the patient. It's just it is too late because the mother always delays and suspend the operation. Of course I did an investigation too. Sabi ng nurse na nakatoka sa pasyente, hindi raw siya ang dating incharge don. May nauna pa sa kanya. May ibang doctor rin ang dating incharge kaso bigla raw nag iba isip nung mother. The new nurse suggested that the patient needs an early operation because the patient is already in stage 3 cancer. But the mother always delay it and always come up with a reason." paliwanag ng director.

Napakunot ako.

"if the patient is in the critical stage, why did they choose a new hired surgeon?" tanong ko.

Umiling-iling ang director habang nag-iisip ng malalim tsaka tumingin dito sa tabi ko.

Natahimik kaming lahat habang naghihintay ng sasabihin niya.

"the day after I was hired. Someone called me. He just said that there's a patient who need my help. He knows everything about my experience and even my achievement when I was in school. He said the room number of the patient. I examined her, I felt nervous that time because this is the first day of my work. When I found out that the patient is already is her critical stage, already in stage 4. Halos nag-aagaw buhay na. I couldn't think right in that moment! Isama mo pa that the mother beg me to save her child. This is my first day and I don't know everything that happened at first. She keeps begging. I told her to look for an experience surgeon but she refused! That time I was torn if I would take a risk to do the operation or to run and look for an experience doctor to pass the responsibility. I was force to do the operation but I still thought to firmly do it to save life. But...but....I still can't---"

Hindi na niya natuloy ang sinasabi niya dahil pina-stop na siya ng director. We all know that if he continue, he will only criticize himself.

"let's stop here. Go back first and get rest. Don't think of any negative thought." saad ng director.

Tumayo si Travis na nanlulumo parin.

"wait." saad ko nang palabas na siya ng pinto.

Hindi siya lumingon at naghihintay sa sasabihin ko.

"in the face of high-risk operations, it takes great courage and skill to even attempt them. Your willingness to take on challenging cases shows your commitment to pushing the boundaries of medicine and providing the best possible care. You should recognized that the outcome of the operation was due to inherent risks involved, not because of any shortcomings on your part. You are an exceptional doctor, and this outcome does not diminish your skills or dedications." I said.

I saw how his broad shoulder move. He mumbled the words 'thank you' with out turning his head on my direction. After that, he leaved.

Napalingon ako kay Sec. Elora dahil sa malalim na buntong hininga niya. She's like thinking deeply. Until she acted like nakakita ng light bulb. "alam ko na!"

Nagulat pa si director sa tabi niya na nagiisip din.

"what if there is a mole in this Hospital? They are trying to ruin its reputation?" she said.

Napailing lang kaming dalawa ni director.

"mali ba ako?" tanong ni Sec. Elora.

"hindi ba halata?/I know" sabay namin sa sambit ni director.

"and whose the mole? Basically, the possible mole are those new comers. So you're one of them?" I said to tease her.

Nanlaki ang mata niya at todo tanggi siya. She even swear her life if she's one of them.

While thinking, biglang tumunog ang phone ko. It's a new number. Napatingin ako sa dalawa na nakatingin na rin sa akin.

I answered the call infront of them.

"hello. Is this miss Ash?" tanong nung caller. Nagtaka pa ako sa tawag niya sa akin. Si Aurora lang kasi tumatawag sakin ng ganon at yun ang nilagay niya sa phone contact niya.

"yes, I am. Why and who is this?"

"I am a doctor here in the st. Marry Hospital. Do you know Aurora Kingsley?"

"yes yes... she my friend. What happened to her?"  Aurora, she's working as an accountant in a private company. Siya rin yung nagpatulungan ko noon to transfer the money to the child patient. She's been my confidant since I leave the orphanage. I won't be here today with out her. I consider her as my closest family. We are both orphan, but she's a bit grateful because before her parents died, they take care of everything to make their only child live in a stable life. They don't want to leave their child ended up as a stray in the street. In short, her family is rich but unfortunately, her parents died in an incurable disease.

"she's dead. Dead on arrival. I'm sorry for your loss." nahulog ako sa mismong kinauupuan ko.

"Geneee!" napatayo si director ng makita ang kalagayan ko. Agad naman akong tinulungan ni Sec. Elora para alalayan na maupo sa may sofa.

Nanginginig ang mga kamay at halos nagpaunahan na ang mga luha ko sa pag-agos.

I was too shocked. Everything is too fast.

Kinuha ni director ang phone ko at siya na ang kumausap doon.

Pagkatapos ay lumapit siya sa akin at sinubukang kalmahin.

"i don't know if its good to tell you the details. But I think you should know it. Kaya sasabihin ko parin. Aurora was hit by a truck. The driver of the truck escaped. An old couple who's driving to fetch their grand daughter in school saw all what happened. They help Aurora and rush her to the nearest Hospital. But she couldn't hold her breath anymore as they enter in the entrance of the Hospital. That's what the doctor said. The old couple still in the hospital. Do you want to visit them?"

Tumayo ako at walang lingon na lumabas sa pinto.

Nagmamadaling lumabas sa sasakyan ko nang nasa tapat na ako ng bungad ng hospital. Nang mahanap ang room na tinanong ko sa nurse ay malayo pa lang kita ko na ang old couple who tried their best to help.

"ikaw ba ang relatives niya?" mahinang boses na tanong ni lola.

Tumango ko. Napabuntong hininga silang dalawa at umiling.

"hindi talaga maiiwasan ang aksidente kahit maingat ka. Kita namin na nasa tamang line naman siya pero mukhang lasing yung nagmamaneho ng truck. Pero nagawa pa niyang tumayo para tumakas. Huwag kang ma-aalala. Nireport namin agad sa police kaya ngayon ay hinahanap na nila yung driver na tumakas." saad nila.

I gave them my gratitude at least.

Na-estatwa ang katawan ko noong nilabas nila ang stretcher kung saan nakahiga si Aurora. Her body was covered with white pero hindi ang mukha niya. Lumapit ako para kumpirmahin kung totoo ba lahat ng nangyari.

It's really her. I feel numb, anger and mixed negative emotions. I cried and hug her cold body. So this is the feeling of seeing the person who's close to you in this state of hard and cold body. I grew up as an orphan and I don't even know the feeling of having a parents. I never see them. I never had experiences of losing someone I cherish the most. Halos sumigaw na ako sa iyak habang niyayakap ang malamig na katawan niya.

Sinubukan akong awatin ng dalawang matandang tumulong pero hinayaan na lang nila ako nung hindi ako nag paawat.

I never said anything and just cried my all my emotions. Why does it have to be you? Why it is always the victim who suffer the most!

I heard many footstep pero wala akong paki-alam. hanggang sa lumapit sa akin si Ayesha at Anne. They comforted me hanggang sa kumalma ako at binitawan ang malamig na katawan ni Aurora.