Ch. 22 The Beginning

"Regina, Please I'm begging you...!" Emma pleaded, "I can see you're in physical pain - just tell me what's wrong; let me help you!"

Still gripping her chest with torn anguish on her face, The Queen managed to pull herself up from her bed; stumbling slightly, she moved herself over to a nearby chair grabbing a silk robe that was strewn across it.
Wrapping herself in it tightly, she sat in the chair, her eyes to the floor.
Calming herself down, The Queen gained control of herself through her breathing allowing the piercing pain in her chest begin to dull.
Emma, having redressed herself, made her way closer to her Queen, sitting on the edge of the bed closest to the chair at which Regina sat.

"I will sit with you all day and night if I have to," Emma said to her, "but I'm not leaving your side until you tell me what's going on."
Regina shifted her sight to Emma's face, taking in her serious expression. She knew there was no stalling anymore, it was time. She had to come clean; tell her Swan the truth, the whole truth - from the very beginning...

"Emma, there are so many things I must tell you, explain to you.." The Queen began, "I will tell you everything, but, I don't know how you are going to feel about me.. us.. or any of this, afterward."

"I could never feel any different about you now." Emma explained.

Regina put her head up toward the ceiling and let out a loud, sarcastic laugh, "Ha! You say that now.. wait until you hear what your Evil Queen has done to earn her title." Regina retorted, her face hardened, "when you learn of my atrocities, you may have a difference of opinion, Ms Swan."

Without a moment's hesitation, the blonde challenged her, "Ok, I guess we'll have to see then won't we?" Emma's eyebrow raised in question.

The Queen leaned back in her chair and thought for a moment before she began her story. She took a few minutes to take in the room, her eyes falling back over the blonde, staring back at her.

"I am The Evil Queen, after all," she began, "Unkind, unforgiving. No one is capable of loving me. Besides, how could they..?"

"You don't know that.." Emma quipped.

"I do." The Queen answered, cutting her off, "how can you love someone that cannot love you back, Swan?"

"What are you talking about" Emma asked, confused. "Are you implying you are incapable of love?"

"I have no heart, my dear." The Queen replied, forcing a smile from her lips. "In fact, I ripped it out myself."

Emma, in complete shock now, felt quite speechless. The two women sat together now in silence. Neither one of them sure what to say next.
As the minutes passed, Regina could see every emotion written across Emma's face. However, it was difficult to read exactly... It was almost as though she were going through what seemed like different stages of emotions as she tried to understand what The Queen just revealed to her. Was she sad? Angry? Confused?
The forced smile The Queen tried so desperately to maintain on her own face was now beginning to falter.. She wanted to say something to her, anything..

"Emma, I.."

Emma raised her hand to silence Regina, then she spoke, "who hurt you so badly, that you would do something so terrible to yourself like that?"

This was not the response The Queen had expected. She suddenly was not quite sure how to answer..

"You have shown me such kindness, and tenderness. If you have truly removed your own heart, I truly am sorry." Emma said to The Queen now, "Regina, what happened to you?"

"I, uh.." Regina stammered, closed her eyes and took a very long, deep breath, "Ok."

"Swan, years ago when I was much younger.. before ever ruling a kingdom, harnessing great magic, or having the most noble soldiers surrender at my feet; I met someone and fell very deeply in love. It was a time when I was becoming slightly more advanced in my magic learning, under my mother's teachings." Regina continued, staring off with a smile, "Of course, there were some things my mother wanted for me that I didn't really care for as much. At that time, especially, all I really cared about was this person I had found! We had so much fun together.."

"It sounds really nice Regina," Emma replied smiling, "who was it?"

"She was so kind," The Queen continued as she remembered, "always so forgiving, silly, and so beautiful too. Her name was Robin. Robin Locksley."

"Robin Locksley..?" Emma asked, "A familiar name.."

"You May have heard of her grandfather of the same name. He was sometimes known as Robin Hood. Unfortunately, wrongly accused of robbery and theft... he was put to death for it too.. But that's a story for another time.."

"Ok," Emma replied, "please, tell me more about you and Robin?"

"Well," Regina continued, "she had long blonde hair, and the most lovely blue eyes I have ever seen... she was quick with the arrow, and mouthy!"
The Queen laughed, "but I didn't mind, it was part of her charm.."

"Well, she sounds lovely." Emma said.

"Yes.." The Queen replied, "she was.."

"So then, what happened?"

"My mother." The Queen's face, now stone cold with her memories as she spoke, "as my magic lessons progressed, and my time spent with Robin continued, mother felt that Robin was no good for me. She didn't approve of our relationship, she didn't approve of her.
We argued over it time and again, but it was of no use. Mother would not hear of it"

The Queen continued, "its my fault, I can't put all the blame on her. That wretched woman warned me so many times! I just never thought she'd actually do it.."

"Do what?" Emma asked, "What did your mother do?"

Fighting back tears of the memory, Regina continued her story, "I was supposed to be at another magic lesson that day, but I was late getting there because I had been out with Robin."

"We were out riding in the woods, and had stopped for a rest." The Queen continued, "I will never forget that day as long as I live.. we had such a great time that afternoon... We had told each other that we loved each other for the very first time. I had never felt that way about anyone else in all my life! I just wanted to forget everything; the kingdom, the magic, the people, all of it! And just run away with Robin."

"Why didn't you?" Emma asked.

"On our way out of the woods, my mother was there to greet us." Regina explained, "while she used her powerful magic to restrain me and explain to me why Robin and I could never be together, I was forced to watch as she removed Robin's beating heart right in front of me, and crushed it into dust."

"Oh god, Regina.." Emma replied, her hand quickly covering her mouth, horrified, "I am so sorry!"

"Yes well," The Queen continued; wiping away tears, "I grieved. For quite a few days after, I grieved heavily. Part of me still does."

"I had my father at times, but he was weak." Regina went on, "Mother wouldn't allow time for grief, especially for this. She always used to say; 'Love is a sign of weakness.' In fact, those were her exact words just before she took Robin's heart."

"Regina, you know that can't be true!" Emma retorted.

"Ha, well, maybe, maybe not." Regina explained, "What I do know, is that day, THAT is when The Evil Queen was born."

"I pushed everything away, everything out. All of it. Except anger and revenge." Regina explained. "My father was against it, but I didn't care. All I knew is that I didn't want to hurt anymore. I focused all of my energy into my magic lessons. My mother was so pleased. But I wasn't doing it for her though. She didn't know it, but at the time, I was receiving extra lessons in dark magic from someone else."

"Why? Why would you do that? I thought you said you didn't practice the dark arts?" Emma asked.

Taking in her breath The Queen replied, "I don't anymore. But I have, it's true. And I'm telling you now."

"Ok," Emma replied, "I appreciate your honesty."

"As I said," The Queen continued, "the reason I was receiving extra lessons was because I wanted to become more powerful than her, more powerful than my mother..."

"You were going to overthrow her?" Emma jumped in.

"I was going to kill her." The Queen confessed, "and I did. I killed her. My own mother. I pushed her body into the liquid mirror of no return. I havnt looked back since, and I don't even regret it."

"I see." Emma replied. "You were hurting, it's obvious. She was a horrible person.."

"Emma!" The Queen stood up, her voice raised, "its still no reason to take someone's life! I did that! I'm no better than she is!"

"It doesn't matter!" Emma yelled back, "not to me!"

"Are you trying to tell me that after all this, you ripped out your heart and decided to be evil?" Emma asked with a raised voice, "because I'm not buying that!"

Glancing in Emma's direction, Regina replied, "Well, not exactly...its a bit more complicated than that, but it was definitely the start."

"Ok," Emma replied, "I'm still listening..."

"Well Ms Swan, there's a lot that's happened between then and now and quite frankly I don't think I need to explain my entire life to you. Just know I've done some pretty terrible things to a lot of people; most of them probably didn't deserve it." The Queen replied.

"What's more important is what brings us to current events involving you."
The Queen continued, as Emma looked on.
"Emotions, feelings, love... these are things we cannot Control. Once we start to feel them, they run wild within us. Ever since that day, I promised myself I would never allow anyone to hold my own emotions over me ever again. I harnessed anger, mostly. After being rid of my mother, and sending my father into exile, I made this castle into my own and have claimed rule over the kingdom ever since."

"Did it make you happy, Regina?" Emma asked.

"Happy?" The Queen asked, her eyebrows raised, "Mmm... a funny word. I don't think I ever really understood the meaning of it. After all, I had an entire kingdom bent at my will, and still it did not compare to the feeling I felt when I had Robin."

Regina stood up now from the chair, as Emma's blue eyes followed her Queen as she walked across the room. She watched as Regina took her time Opening her massive walk-in closet, and entered it. Emma could hear her moving clothing around inside.
After a few moments, The Queen finally emerged, dressed now, ever so elegantly.
Emma smiled, "Everytime I see you Regina, you are more and more beautiful.."
A shy smile crept across The Queen's red lips as she turned and winked at the blonde, "Thank you Emma."

"However, our story does not stop here, I'm afraid." The Queen continued.
"As I continued to rule over this kingdom, I continued to push out any light that may have still been hidden inside me, as I welcomed the darkness. It protected me. It warded off any pain that might come my way."

Emma kept her eyes trained on her Queen, watching her still, as she made her way around the room offering up the details of her life; past and present.

"I won't deny the things I've done to protect myself." Regina continued, "I'm not proud of them all, but I admit to them. There's no sense in denying it, after all, you Emma, have discovered my vault - my biggest secret of all."

Emma lowered her eyes to the floor, "Yes." The blonde answered, "I was shocked to find it. But I assume there's a reason for it, perhaps you were forced to it?"

The Queen abruptly turned to face Emma, gritting her teeth as she raised her voice and spoke sternly, "You want a reason Swan? My only reason was to bend my servants at my will! So that NO ONE could disobey ME!"

"And up until you showed up," The Queen continued, "my plan has been working just fine.."

Calming herself, The Queen took on a softer tone, turning away from Emma. Swallowing hard, she continued, "there were always The Rebels... It's never been anything new. Even when my mother was still alive. I knew how to handle them. If they didn't comply, death was the most formidable answer for them."

"Then why didn't you kill ME?!" Emma asked, furrowing her brow with deep astonishment, "I have always wondered that.."

"In the beginning, that was the plan, I'll be honest Swan. You were no different than the rest." The Queen admitted, "However, if I am to be fully honest with myself.. there was something.. intriguing about you.. I could never quite understand it myself. So, I hesitated, and you lived another day."

Emma relaxed her face after learning this information, "And now..?"

"Now..." The Queen began, "Things have gotten quite... complex."

"As time grew on, even before I came to know you Ms Swan," The Queen explained, "my hunger for power and control continued to grow. The darkness was overwhelming, and it took control.. but, I allowed it. Never once did I even try to fight it off."

"Regina..." Emma stood up now, saying her name. She could see a change wash over The Queen's face as she explained how the darkness took hold of her. Emma watched as a curled smile slowly formed on her blood red lips, and once again the bright purple glow blazed in her eyes as The Queen continued to speak.

"Oh, I craved it, Swan!" Regina replied, now delirious with excitement as she continued, "The power was like a drug Emma... the more it gave, the more I WANTED! It was never enough!"

"Regina..." Emma began once more, "Are you alright..? You're beginning to scare me a little bit."

Suddenly, The Queen froze in place, her senses alert to a sudden change in the room.

"Regina?" Emma called for her again, "Regina what's going on.. The temperature just got so cold in here..!"

"Emma, come quick, stand next to me."

The Queen knew what was to be expected. Although she'd hoped to explain this all to Emma herself, it had seemed there was no time now.

Just seconds before the swirling black smoke cleared from the center of the room, a booming voice could be heard calling out to The Queen,

"Regina! We meet again!"

Straightening her posture,  The Queen replied, "Indeed we do, Chernabog. What business do have here, Demon?"

"HA HA HA HAAA! Regina..." His booming voice shook the wine stained glasses on the night tables by the bed, "Do not toy with me, child. You know what brings me here."

As the demon moved his eyes around the room, he gazed upon Emma, taking her in. Sniffing the air, he stretched out his wings and smiled a wicked smile then said, "Ahhh! This must be the girl.. I have yet to be introduced, Regina."

Emma, wide-eyed and confused, felt more scared than ever before, "Regina what the hell is going on..!"

Scowling, The Queen looked from Emma to The Demon and did as she was instructed, "Emma, this is Chernabog. He is... well, he's literally a demon from Hell."

Emma went pale. Why in the world would Regina know a demon from The Underworld?!
Chernabog smiled again, his fiery eyes glowing bright.

"Emma.." His deep voice boomed, "I suppose your Queen has failed to mention our acquaintance? Or perhaps mention your valuable involvement?"
Still smiling, Chernabog glanced from Emma to Regina a few times as he spoke.
"Excuse me?" Emma exclaimed, "What exactly are you talking about? How am I involved?"
Regina, looking nervous, as she quickly turned to Emma; "it's nothing! pay him no mind.."
"FOOLS!" Chernabog boomed, "Regina! You've been training your Blonde Beauty... teaching her magic from your dearly departed mother's book. The least you could do is tell her why."
"It's because I asked her to!" Emma told him before The Queen could reply, "That much I already know."

Chernabog glanced in The Queen's direction.
"Emma..." Regina began, "You happened to show interest in my spellbook by chance.."
"What?!" Emma replied, desperation on her face.
With visible anguish on The Queen's face now, she began to reveal information to Emma that the blonde was not all to happy to hear.
"A while ago.. before you even came to this place.. I struck a deal with this Demon. For ultimate knowledge and power, he informed me there would come a time that a brave woman would storm this castle to overthrow me and all I've worked for. However, Chernabog also said, if I agreed to help train this woman in her craft, and sacrifice her to The Underworld as a Dark Horseman, I would not only be spared, but also become the most powerful Queen in all the kingdoms ever to come."

Horrified at this newly learned information, Emma was disgusted, and beside herself.
"You would do that... to me?! To anyone?!!"

Tears running down The Queen's face, she desperately tried to explain further, "Emma please, please try to understand.. I know how wrong I was.. I, I'm trying to fix this!"

"FIX IT??!" Emma yelled, "You sold my soul to the pits of hell, Regina! How can anyone fix that!"

Watching the hurt on Emma's face was ripping Regina apart inside. It was the last thing she ever wanted to do, but it was happening anyway.

"So now I'll ask you, Regina," Chernabog commanded, pulling the attention of both the women to his gaze, "Is your Knight ready to for the sacrifice then?"

Answering both at the same time,
"No!"
"Yes!"

"HA HA HAA!" The Demon's wicked laughter boomed, "I shall come to collect the sacrifice in two weeks time, no matter what your answer is."

As quick as he came, he was gone.

The Queen turned to face Emma, grabbing her by the shoulders, "Why the hell did you say yes, Emma?!!"

"What difference does it make, Regina?" Emma answered, "you sold me off, did you not? Today, tomorrow, two weeks.. who cares?"

"I do. I CARE EMMA!" The Queen replied, "That stupid deal is off, I don't care about that anymore, just you."

Emma looked Regina in her eyes, searching for some truth. She could see it, she knew it to be true.

"Alright, so now what?" Emma said, "what do we even do about this?"

"I've already started a plan in motion," The Queen began, "I just need you to trust me.."

"HA!" Emma let out a sarcastic tone.

"I know, I know." The Queen Replied, "I deserved that. But it's the only way we're going to get through this alive."

Emma moves close to The Queen, taking her face in her hands.
"Regina, I..."
Closing her eyes, Regina gently took hold of Emma's wrists and allowed her body to fall softly against Emma's.

"Regina, I love you."

The piercing pain sharply returned to The Queen's chest, but she did not flinch. Instead, she slowly opened her eyes, smiled and said to Emma;

"I removed my heart, as a sacrifice so that you could keep yours, my Swan. It is being kept safe, for now. I did this, because..."

The Queen took a deep breath in as a tear rolled down her cheek,

"Because I love you, too Emma."

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