S P E N C E R

"Is it home time yet?"

"Fifteen more minutes chick." Crystal gives me a sympathetic smile while she continues to wipe down the bar top. For the most part, the club is quiet, save for a few drunks that are passed out in booth seats or throwing up in the bathroom. When I first started here, I had the pleasure of cleaning the toilets and it was as horrible as one might imagine.

"I'm going to be so wrecked tomorrow night." I circle the bar and pull open the till to start the cash count for the end of the night.

"How come?" Crystal leans down and readjusts the straps on her suspender belt.

"I'm moving into a new place tomorrow. There isn't too much to move but ugh. I can't sleep through the day like I usually would."

"I didn't know you were moving." She finishes with the straps on her thighs and moves to her bust, shimmying her breasts side to side so that her bra sits more comfortably. "Are you rooming or getting your own place?"

"Rooming. With Dallas' brother. He offered cheap rent," I explain, shuffling a stack of twenties from one hand to the other while I count and converse at the same time.

"Ooh, is he hot?"

Putting today's earnings into a cash sack allows me to hide a guilt-ridden grin as I focus on the task and keep my head down. "Well. . . Yeah."

"Get it girl." She walks past and slaps my ass before she picks up the cash sack.

Crystal is blunt, open and doesn't have a lot of boundaries when it comes to personal space. The closer she is with someone the worse it is. Not that I mind a whole lot, being friends with Drayton Lahey for as long as I have meant that I'm familiar with people that don't filter themselves.

"I can take that out back if you want?" I point at the cash bag.

"Na, I'll do it." A devious grin lifts her cherry red lips as she swings the bag back and forth in her hand. "I wanna see boss."

"Dave?" I raise a brow. Her answer is obvious before she spills the next sentence.

"We're kinda seeing each other," she wears a sheepish grin. "But don't tell anyone. It's technically against company policy since he's the boss and all."

She rolls her eyes as if it's the most ridiculous rule on the planet. I've never thought it's a very sound idea to date a co-worker. Simply for the fact that if it ends terribly, you either end up with an awkward work environment or someone ends up quitting. And that's not always a viable option. But there's no denying that she looks happy and Crystal deserves that much.

"Well being a friend and all, I should ask for details. But I need to be able to look Dave in the eye without knowing what his favourite position is."

Crystal bursts out laughing at that, her glitter-covered eyes curling up at the edges. Our conversation is paused for a brief moment while one of the showgirls fetches her coat and a set of keys from behind the bar.

"So you don't think it's gross or anything?" Crystal asks once we're alone again. The ache from my heels is starting to become unbearable and I shift the majority of my weight from left to right while I raise a brow in her direction, not sure why she'd ask me such a question. "Ya know, because he's like thirteen years older than me."

"Oh!" I shift my weight again and lean a hip on the bar. "No, of course not. Age is just. . . age. I mean, unless it's illegal or a forty-year-old and a sixteen-year-old, that's not on. But no. You're both consenting adults."

"Some people just don't share that mindset." She frowns. "My mom would be disgusted if she knew. People are so ignorant sometimes."

"True," I absentmindedly mumble, chipping at the black polish on my acrylics.

Who knows how genuine her relationship is or how deep. I don't know and I don't need to. It's her business. But it makes me sad to think that if she was happy and in love, her mother would disapprove over something like an age gap. Sometimes I feel like asking these parents if they'd rather their kids date a total asshat who's the 'right age' rather than someone who's a caring and decent individual.

Love is love.

"Anyway," she straightens up and gives me a wide smile, waving the cash bag as she starts to back away. "I'll drop this off and you head home. Send me a snap tour of your new place—" she glances at the clock displaying that it's two in the morning— "today! I'm not working tonight."

"Okay," I blow her a kiss and giggle when she pretends to catch and stuff it in her bra. "Have fun."

"That was the last side table drawer to go on the trailer? Correct?" Dad stands beside the trailer which is attached to his classic mustang and waits with the strops in his hand.

"Yeah Dad." I take a deep breath and start pulling my thick curls into a bun. It's so hot and the skin on my neck is damp, causing strands of hair to cling and stick.

"Hey, uh," Nathan's voice and footsteps sound beside me on the gravel driveway and when I spin around, I notice a sheen is coating his bare arms and forehead too. "I'm gonna grab some stuff from town before I head home. I thought I'd grab a box to celebrate you moving in. What kind of beer do you drink?"

He looks so sheepish and shy and the thought of telling him that I don't drink anymore and spoiling his kind gesture is too much. It also causes a little flutter in my stomach to see him with this mild nervousness. Nathan's always been on the louder side, cracking jokes and making us laugh.

"Uhhh citrus light." I pick the mildest beer that I can think of and suppose that one or two won't hurt. 

"Great." He nods his sandy blonde head and smiles, both of us turning towards the front door as Mom comes out with a plate of fresh brownies.

"Take these with you." She scurries towards the passenger side of the car, her patterned floor-length skirt billows in the wind. "I had one before. Your father and I will have to go for a jog later."

I roll my eyes at her slender frame. Mom loves to bake and cook and feed people until they can't move. But she's conscious about her figure and keeps a clean diet, which isn't a bad thing. However, I often wish that she'd just sit down and stuff her face without giving it a second thought.

It's good for the soul.

"You like brownies, right Nathan?" She asks once she's put them on the seat and shut the door.

"Hash are my favourite. After peanut," he laughs at his own joke, his deep burly chuckle is the only noise now that a dead, awkward silence has fallen between us. I wince at the disapproval on Dad's face. Wrong crowd.

Secondhand embarrassment is real and the gravel beneath me starts to become wildly fascinating as I push it around with the toe of my shoe, secretly hoping that if I avoid any and all eye contact, this situation won't exist for a moment longer. Nathan's laughter quickly subsides and he clears his throat, looking mildly uncomfortable under the scrutiny.

"Right, well I'm gonna go." He gestures at his car parked across the road. "I'll let you say goodbye and stuff. See you at home."

"It was just a joke you guys," I sigh, watching Nathan as he crosses the road and climbs into his car. "Don't be so stiff."

"Well, I'd be disappointed if he was doing pot with you and Lydia in the house."

"Dad!" I groan, slapping my palm against my forehead in mild frustration. The concern is natural, Dad is incredibly protective over Lydia. But he needs to trust that I wouldn't put my daughter in an unsafe environment. "Don't be so serious. He was just making a joke. You could have laughed!"

"Wasn't that funny," he mumbles under his breath.

It's not even worth arguing about, but for some reason it bars me up that he'd make Nathan uncomfortable. Nathan has been nothing but helpful this weekend. He rearranged his home, spent money and put hours of labour into making sure that Lydia and I are comfortable moving in with him. There's no reason for Dad to just assume that he'd be a problem.

However, the conversation is dropped and I'm soon embraced in a tight hug that threatens to crush my rib cage.

"I'm going to miss you and Lydia so much." Between the sobs and Mom's voice being smothered in the crook of my neck, I almost don't hear her words.

"Mom, I'm not leaving the state," I chuckle while I give her back a pat. She's adorably sentimental and this is the reason that I'd have never been able to move to California with Dallas. I'd have never been able to leave her; I'm too connected to the woman that gave me life, I'd be homesick without her. "I'll be fifteen minutes away. And I'll still come and raid the fridge at least three times a week."

"Good!" She releases her grip and steps back, holding me at arm's length with a stern expression. "Don't let that grandchild of mine starve."

"Maaaaa!"

The emotional farewells last so long that you'd think I'm going into the witness protection programme and won't ever see her again. But eventually Dad and I are granted our leave and we arrive at Nathan's— or well, my house— just after he gets back from the store.

Like earlier, Nathan does most of the heavy lifting and I'm ashamed to admit that I spend an awful lot of time admiring the bulge in his biceps whenever he lifts something. He's got incredible arms, shoulders and to be honest, a cute ass too. Which is something I scold myself for thinking about my best friend's big brother.

However, my subtle admirations are brought to a halt when Dad leaves and Nathan gives me some space to organise the room how I please. I'm tempted to tell him that the drawers are too heavy to slide along the carpet so that he comes back and I get to watch him a little longer.

The thoughts are startling to say the least. I've known Nathan since I was young and of course, I've always thought he's gorgeous— not that I'd ever tell Dallas that— but why is it starting to become so much more intense than it has been before?

Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I haven't had sex in almost an entire year.

It's like dangling a piece of meat in front of a starved animal.

Wow, that is a terrible analogy, Spencer.

Before the thoughts can get further out of hand, I switch Spotify on and slide my phone into the back pocket of my shorts so that I can get this room sorted out.

The drawers and vanity are pushed into the left corner of the room; Lydia and I get a side table each beside our beds and I hang a few canvases up that I've had since I was a teenager. It takes me around an hour to unpack all of our clothes into the drawers and as I unravel t-shirts and socks, I find little trinkets and framed photos that I'd wrapped up for safekeeping, placing them on top of the drawers and window sill.

"Hey." Nathan appears while I'm collapsing the last cardboard box. "Looks great in here."

He leans against the door frame, folding his arms across his chest and I mirror the way his eyes wander around the room.

"Thanks." I straighten up and exhale a breath. It's so hot and I'm sure that I must resemble a sweaty mess right now. "Ooh I have to take a snap for Crystal."

My hand comes around to my bum and I slide my cellphone out, opening Snapchat.

"Who's Crystal?" Nathan's deep voice drawls with question and I glance up to meet his curious expression.

"I wor—" the sentence drops off when I realise that I've never told Nathan what I do for a job. And if I tell him that I work with Crystal, naturally, his response will be to ask where.

I'm not a quick thinker.

"We work together at um—" my cheeks start to heat up as the seconds tick by— "the gas station."

"Oh. I wondered where you worked." He smiles. "Which gas station do you work at?"

"Oh that one—" I wave with a pointed finger into the far distance— "Way on the other side of town. Just at nights. On the weekend."

I always have been, and still am, a terrible liar. He must think I'm an absolute spaz right now.

"Oh, is that safe?" He straightens up, brows knit with concern which only serves to make him even hotter than ever.

Stop.

"Gas stations can be kinda dangerous at night."

"Oh, no it's fine." I flick my wrist in dismissal. "George the security guard is a unit. We're safe."

George really is a security guard. But of course, he works at the strip club, not this fictional gas station which I'm apparently employed at now. At least I don't have to come up with legit work stories. I'm certain there's nothing thrilling about pumping gas.

Before I have to continue lying my ass off to the person that I'm now living with, I lift my phone and hold down the record button, turning slowly so that I get a short video of the entire room. When I watch it back, I notice that Nathan is in it for a few seconds, still leaning against the door frame in his white tank top and jeans.

I caption the video—

Here's the new room! Cute right. And my roomie is SO HOT ! 👌🏼 bonus.

That ought to please her. She has an undeniable need for detail and gossip, just like me in a way. I suspect that's why we get along so well. She can't replace the best friend who's living it up in Los Angeles. But it's nice to have someone who's taller than three feet and can talk trash with me.

I hit send and put the phone away, feeling content and elated with excitement for the first time in a long time.

"So uh, it's hot," Nathan states, scratching the back of his head and giving me an eyeful of the veins that run up his forearm.

Why am I so damn thirsty?

Why am I seeing him in this light that gives me an ache in my core?

Why?

"Do you wanna go down to the river with dinner and beers?" He asks with a shrug, not making direct eye contact. "I mean you don't have to. Ya know, just because we live together now, don't feel like you've gotta spend all your time with me. I'm gonna go, so I thought I'd invite you. But if—"

"Nate!" I hold up a hand and resist bursting into a fit of giggles at how he sounds blabbering on with that intense deep voice of his. "I would love to go to the river. Do you want some help getting dinner sorted?"

"Sure." He nods, looking pleased at the outcome of his request. "I was just gonna pack some bread rolls and salad stuff."

"Perfect. Let me find my bikini." I swivel around and eye the drawers, hoping that I remembered to pack it. "I'll be right out."

He gives me a quick nod and shuts the door behind him when he leaves. It doesn't take long to locate the white bikini that I'd bought for Los Angeles. I smile when I remember how Dallas showered me with envious compliments when I'd worn it to the beach. Back in high school I'd struggled with self-image and compared myself to her a lot over the fact that she was a blonde cheerleader that was constantly being fawned over. I'd felt dull in comparison. But with age and growth I came to realise that while she's stunning, we're both beautiful in our own way.

Plus she kept calling me a milf and assuring me that the fact that I'd had a child was almost unbelievable because of how well I'd bounced back. Not out of luck of course. I'd worked hard to drop the baby weight.

When I've retrieved a towel from the top of my closet, where Nathan left a pile of new ones that he bought just for me, I head out to the living area with a loose long t-shirt and my flip flops on.

Nathan's perched on the edge of the couch with his boardies and a tee on, his sunnies rest on top of his head and he's deeply engrossed in his phone.

"Hey!" I smile when he shoots his head up with a startle.

He averts his gaze and mumbles, "oh, hey."

"So um, should we sort the food out?" My thumb jabs over my shoulder in the direction of the kitchen and I drop the towel over the love seat.

"Yep." He stands up and beelines straight past me.

This feels awkward and I'm not sure why. We move around the kitchen while we pack food into a basket and while I do my best to keep up conversation in the form of small talk, it's useless because I can't seem to get much of a response from him at all. Not even the prompt that I give him to tell me about his new job helps, and he's so in love with football and coaching, I thought for sure that would get more than a three-word answer.

He's not being rude. He's just. . . Awkward.

We pack the beer and food into a chiller and pile it into the back of his pickup. It's not a new flash pickup like the one Drayton drives. It's a chipped and faded black with a bit of rust and squeaky doors. But it's got character and I like it. He does too, which is why he wouldn't let Dallas replace it when she tried to buy him a new one last summer.

The radio offers a song of some sort; through the glitched static, I think I hear the familiar tune of a Halsey song. But it's hard to tell. Nathan keeps one hand on the steering wheel; his other elbow rests on the lip of his door while he runs his hand through his hair.

I'm on the edge of asking if I've done something wrong when my cellphone dings from my lap. Dallas' name comes up on the screen and I lift it with furrowed brows because the first thing that I notice is that it's all in caps.

YOU POSTED THAT SNAPCHAT ON YOUR STORY SPENCER. OMG. WE CAN NEVER TALK ABOUT THIS AGAIN. BUT GIRL, TAKE IT DOWN!

I inhale so fast that I gasp, loudly! I notice Nathan snap his head in my direction from the corner of my eye. I can't even look at him, he's probably seen it.

"SHIT."

"Spencer, what's wrong?!"

Of course he's seen it. That's why he's acting so damn weird.

I drop the phone into my lap, my head falling back into the seat as I cover my mouth. This is so embarrassing, this is humiliating. He's sitting right next to me!

"Spence?"

"Mhmm." I physically shake my head and wave him off with a flick of the wrist before I pick up the phone again. "I'm good. It's good."

It's not good.

My cheeks heat up more than I've ever felt before and with shaking fingers I open the Snapchat app as fast as I can, deleting the story without even checking to see who'd already viewed it. Knowing without doubt that he'd seen it would result in me opening this car door and falling the hell out of it, because as it is, I'm having a hard time breathing.

"Is. . .is this about the snap?"

"Please don't!"

"Yep!"

We both fall into total silence, staring straight out in front of us, the only noise is the spastic stereo and to be honest, it's a blessing to the ears, because if it was any quieter, I'd dissolve into a puddle of total humiliation.

"I didn't know what to say," Nathan tells me, the words falling out fast and panicked. "I didn't want to embarrass you."

I wish I could answer him and tell him that it's no big deal. Where's my confidence!? Why can't I own this shit the way Dallas does?! I'd like to think that I'm one of those girls who just rolls with it and says something that makes me seem untouchable. But I'm so ashamed that I'm considering digging a fucking hole for me to crawl into.

"Spence?"

"It's. . . Let's just—" I take a deep breath and convince myself that it'll only be worse if I make it worse. "It's fine. Whatever. You're hot. You know it, I know it. It's good."

WAY TO AVOID MAKING IT WORSE SPENCER!

To my relief he laughs and the part of me that wants to hear it is strong enough that I actually glance over at him and risk making eye contact. His wide smile lifts his cheeks and his jawline is strong and prominent. I'm glad that he's got his eyes on the road.

For one, he's driving. Second, it allows me to take a minute to appreciate how flawless his face is.

It's still odd that after all of these years, I'm finding him hotter than I ever have before. Perhaps it really is just the fact that I'm likely gathering dust in my vagina. Or it could be the fact that he's shown so much kindness towards me and a person's personality is always the other half of the attraction.

When we get to the river, it's unsurprisingly packed. Families are spread out on the grassy banks. Kids are playing in the sand and throwing stones in the water.

Nathan and I walk further down the banks with the chiller and towels, watching the pleasant sight of children playing and dogs fetching sticks from the water. Our attention is so absorbed in the surroundings that the awkward air starts to dissipate and we even share a brief smile when our gazes meet.

We settle on a spot that isn't crowded and we both plonk down onto the ground after we've laid out our towels to sit on.

"Do you remember that summer that you and Dallas tried to camp out here?" Nathan's eyes narrow at the beaming sun that shines straight down on us, his lips are lifted in an amused grin.

"Oh my lanta, yes!" I fall back and burst out laughing while Nathan chuckles beside me. "What time did we call you to come and get us?"

"It was like ten at night. But I'll be honest, I never left. I was parked up with a blanket in the car."

"Really?!" I sit up and stare at him in disbelief. This happened years ago and I had no idea.

"Yeah. Well you guys were only sixteen and even if you'd stuck it out, I wanted to be nearby." He looks over at me with a stoic expression. "Didn't want any creeps sneaking into your tent."

I smile at his protective nature and wonder if he'd done similar things when we'd spent the night out. Dallas and I used to spend hours and hours every summer, going to the lake or river. We didn't do a lot of partying but we did like to make the most of the sun and hot nights.

Of course there was the odd occasion when I could coerce Dallas into a pool party or other social events and it was always a good time; even she had fun as much as she hated to admit it.

"So swim or eat first?" Nathan questions.

"Swim," I chime and stand up. "You know the rule. Never eat before you swim."

"I like to live on the edge," he declares with playful rebellion.

"You won't be living at all if you drown."

"Touché."

We both laugh and I'm relieved to know that we're past the Snapchat incident so fast. That had definitely not been one of my finer moments. My thoughts drift off to the possibility of what he'd been thinking when he saw it as I pull the long shirt over my head.

Was he flattered? Or was he disgusted that his little sister's best friend called him hot? Probably the latter. Dallas always said that he thought of me as a little sister and I doubt that he'd want to hear Dallas refer to him as hot. But when I turn around to drop my shirt, I can't help but notice the way his mouth is slightly agape as he stares at my bikini-clad body.

"Oh, uh." He averts his gaze and quickly pulls his shirt off. "You sure as hell don't look like a mom Spence."

Now it's my turn to avoid staring at his chiselled torso while I blush at his comment. That's not a brotherly, sisterly comment, right? Perhaps that's not how he sees me at all and the thought is kind of exciting.

Stop.

The water is warm as we tip toe into the edge of the river. The flow is gentle and it's nice and clear. The trees on the other side of the wide channel are tall and still due to the lack of breeze and we don't waste a moment submerging ourselves into the cool relief of the water.

"This is perfect," I sigh, dipping further into the water so that it comes up to my chest. Nathan nods in agreement and then disappears, surfacing a moment later and running his hands up his face and across his hair.

Ugh. How does he look so good, covered in droplets with sopping wet disheveled hair. If I attempted that, I'd look like that girl from the ring with hair clinging to my face so hard that it'd suffocate me.

Hot.

"So are you looking forward to your new coaching job on Monday?" My hands skim the surface of the water while I wait for Nathan to answer the same question that I'd asked him earlier in the kitchen. He'd just been too flustered to answer at the time."

He takes a moment, tipping his head from side to side with a thoughtful expression. "I'm looking forward to it but I wouldn't mind doing this a bit longer."

"Summer goes way too fast," I agree.

"Dallas gave me a coach mug for my birthday though. Looking forward to using that," he laughs.

He and Dallas celebrate their birthdays three days apart in July and this year was the first time I hadn't been there for their joint party; considering I was going be in Los Angeles a few weeks later, I couldn't afford to go twice. According to Dallas, they hadn't done much, which surprised me considering it was Nathan's thirtieth.

"She got you a mug?" I question with disbelief. Neither Dallas nor Nathan is materialistic, but it surprises me considering he was celebrating a milestone this year.

"Well. . . The mug had a cheque in it."

"Oh!" I laugh, now getting the bigger picture.

It occurs to me that he'd thrown around a bit of cash on the bedroom redecorating and the dollhouse, and I sincerely hope that he wasn't blowing his birthday money on Lydia and I. Of course, I don't ask because that's personal but I'd hate to think so.

"You okay?" His voice brings me out of my thoughts as he swims closer and I can't stop staring at his taut shoulder muscles and gorgeous stubble-coated jawline.

Well, I'm having super inappropriate thoughts about my best friend's brother, who is now my roommate and I have to see him every single day. He also might only see me as a sister, but it's hard to tell and I'm suffering from lady blue balls while I stare at this perfectly sculpted, sweet human being. But I'd sound flat-out insane if I voiced any of that, so I give him a wide convincing smile and answer with confidence.

"I'm perfect!"

• • •

I know lots of y'all said you prefer Dallas. But this was an important chapter. It's also a bit longer so that I could avoid splitting it in two. :) please tap the star to got if you enjoyed the chapter. ❤️