{ Chapter 1 }
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"I don't get it," Mel exclaims with a swift shake of her head. Her straight, blonde tresses move with her and she raises a hand to tuck them behind her ears.
I stare at her from my relaxed position against the wall. "It's not a difficult concept," I respond, exerting enough force to speak above the music. "You find someone cute and you hook up with them."
"But it won't be enjoyable if you don't like them," she rebuts as she pushes her glasses up on her nose.
"Oh, it's enjoyable, trust me," I assure her with a knowing chuckle. "I wouldn't do it if it wasn't."
Gen gets a laugh out of this but Mel only attempts to further prove her point. "But doesn't it get boring?" she inquires.
"I can say the same about being in a relationship. Having sex with the same person for years. Doesn't that get boring?" I counter, not expecting an answer from Mel. She wouldn't know. She's never been in a relationship but she sure does idealize them.
"You never want someone to cuddle with and talk to about your future?" she presses with a small frown. She's the kind of person that expects everyone to want the same thing as her; so when you want something vastly different, she's startled, curious, and just a little judgmental.
"Well, personally, I don't like cuddling. And I can talk to my friends about my future," I answer with a shrug.
"There's no consistency," she announces with a sigh.
"That's what friends with benefits are for. I have Danny and Rex," I further explain. "When I get bored of them, I come to parties and find someone different."
"I just don't get it," she mutters in slight frustration
"It's a good thing you don't have to do it then," I assure her as I place a hand to my chest. "But I, on the other hand, have some needs to attend to."
I turn my attention back to the attractive boy across the room that I've been eyeing for the last half hour. Like me, he's posed in a slanted position against the wall with his feet propped out in front of him. He's nursing the drink his hand though, whereas I'm downing mine solely for the affects. Typically, I'm not one to go after guys but I can't let this one pass me up. He's too good looking.
"Which one are you staring at?" Gen inquires as she peers in the direction my eyes are locked in.
"The guy with the black hoodie," I specify with a small nod in his direction. Mel, though annoyed, risks a glance in the direction of the horde of guys. It takes a minute but eventually, both their gazes fall admirably upon the boy my eyes are glued to. His golden skin is complimented by a head of tapered off black curls and thick eyebrows. The broad grin on his face tells me he's entertained by the discussion he's having with his friends and I feel slightly bad that I'm going to have to interrupt.
"Damn..." Mel hisses before turning her large green eyes to me. "You work fast."
"Hopefully, I get lucky," I tell my friends before tossing back the rest of my liquid courage. I typically don't drink but I spotted him as soon as we walked in and knew I wouldn't have the balls to talk to him sober. As I shake the taste of alcohol out of my mouth, my eyes search for him once more and I find him tipping his head back and laughing boisterously.
"So we won't be seeing you until 3 in the morning," Genesis assumes with a small grin. "We'll leave the door unlocked."
"Thanks," I cheese at them. I steal a sip of Mel's water before giving them an excited thumbs up. They return it and shoo me off so I turn on my heel and head out.
Luckily for me, his friends find something interesting in the living room so they all migrate. However, he remains in his spot with his hands shoved deep in his pockets and his eyes looking through the crowd. I pick up the pace a bit in case he decides to join his group. Thankfully, he spots me approaching him so I slow to a stop a few feet away. A flirtatious smile overtakes my face and I tilt my head up at him. One of his brows rises curiously and a slightly surprised smirk falls onto his lips.
"And whose boyfriend are you?" I greet him as I bounce lightly on the balls of my feet. Even leaning against the wall, he towers over me, which only makes me want him more. I never talk to guys that much taller than me. And of course none of the girls are taller than me; I'm lucky if they're 5'5" like me.
"No one's...yet," he responds back with a small smirk. I give him a brief once over and lightly lick my lips, which gets an entertained gape from him. Now that I'm up close, I can admire the way his thick, black curls sit on his head in a neat fashion and the way his large, dark brown eyes shine mischievously against his sandy complexion. If all goes well, he'll definitely be the most attractive person I've ever done anything with.
"What are you drinking?" I ask him as he brings his cup to his lips.
"Pepsi," he answers with as he tips his drink towards me. I see the dark drink fizzing at the bottom of his cup. "But I think the real question is, what have you been drinking?"
"Water," I answer with an innocent smile. This gets a doubtful laugh from him, which gets a kick out of me.
"Are you even old enough to be drinking?" he presses as his eyes search mine curiously.
"Anyone can drink water," I remind him and he playfully rolls his eyes in response. "What you should be worrying about is whether or not I'm legal. For your information, I am."
His mouth drops open a little and he lets out a loud chuckle. "Well, that's good to know," he confirms.
"Speaking of knowing things, you probably know this already but you're cute," I compliment him bluntly. "For that reason, I want to dance with you." I want to go back to your place, is what I want to say. However, I refrain.
"Unfortunately for you...I don't dance," he replies but still, I extend my hand with a pressing grin.
"Come on," I insist as I poke out my lower lip. "You know you want to."
"Can we talk instead?" he proposes with a tilted head. When he sees that I'm prepared to deny his request, he speaks again. "How about we talk for twenty minutes and then we can dance?"
I want to ask why he wants to talk to me so bad but figure that I'll only downgrade from here. "Fine," I give in with a hushed sigh. "What do you want to talk about?"
"Tell me about yourself," he insists with a bright gaze. He nibbles lightly at the edge of his cup and I want to ask if he's joking.
I gaze up at him in a state of pure shock. Tell him about me? What is there to say? I want to dance with him and then sleep with him. Isn't that all there is to care about? Am I not giving enough signs? "Like what?" I inquire as I search his face for some kind of hint.
"Your name, for one," he answers with a large grin lining his full lips.
"That doesn't really matter," I wave off dismissively. The less he knows about me, the better. He may be hot but all I want is a night with him.
"It does," he corrects me. When he sees me purse my lips, he chuckles. "My name is Cameron."
"You don't look like a Cameron," I note as I take in his attractive features once more. I contemplate skipping the dancing and talking and just heading back to his place. Hell, maybe my place if it comes down to it.
"What do I look like then?" he asks as he brings the red cup to his lips and takes a slow sip. I fight the urge to say 'my next conquest' when I lock eyes with him. It takes me a second to regain my voice after the intense stare down. He chuckles at my reaction and I shoot him a slightly threatening look. His laughter turns to him clearing his throat with a very delighted look on his face. I'm happy one of us is getting a kick out of this.
"I'm not sure," I answer him with a weak shrug. "Just not a Cameron." I'd rather be talking about, and doing, so many other things right now.
"So..." he encourages after a few seconds of us simply gazing at each other.
"So?" I reiterate in confusion.
"Tell me about yourself," he requests yet again as he makes a rolling motion with his free hand.
"Why?" I complain as I cross my arms. It's not like I'm ever going to talk to him again. We're going to dance and then go back to his place, where I'll sneak out of at about two in the morning. Then, if we ever see each other on campus, we'll pretend we have no idea who we are. In fact, we may not really remember. Or we'll force ourselves to forget.
"I want to get to know you," he elaborates as if it's an obvious answer. Obviously every guy at this party wants to get to know the girls they're dancing with. They want to know their favorite colors and their grandmother's name. Except they don't. Why'd I have to choose the only guy here that cares enough to ask my name?
"Why?" I question again, now growing frustrated.
"Why not?" he challenges with a small shrug.
I huff loudly. "Okay, so what do you want to know?" I repeat in a slightly flustered state. He's making things a lot harder than they have to be. You'd think a guy like him would be used to girls throwing themselves at him. With arms like his, you'd also think he knows how to catch.
"Your name, for one," he recites yet again.
"Something else," I wave off.
"Okay...then tell me why you won't tell me your name," he sidetracks and I want to groan. Instead, I keep my cool and tilt my head.
"What do I look like?" I wonder and he decides to play along.
"Maybe a..." he starts as he analyzes my face. His eyes take in my dark brown tresses and my hazel eyes, which are scrutinizing him curiously. His gaze never fall below my face, which strikes me as odd. I kind of expected him to use this as an opportunity to blatantly check me out. "Jackie."
I shake my head and laugh. "No," I decline without a second thought.
"So what is it?" he redirects the conversation and it's my turn to laugh.
"I'm not telling you," I announce once more, which gets a defeated sigh from him.
"So, Nameless, why'd you come over here?" he asks as he finishes off his drink and places the cup on the floor next to us.
I want to roll my eyes. Would it be too forward to tell him that he's hot and I want someone to spend the night with? I go for an answer that's a little less bold. "I'm going to be honest with you. I came here to dance with cute boys. But you're making that pretty difficult," I confess, bringing back my flirtatious style.
"There goes that word again," he playfully cringes. "Cute."
"You don't like it?" I query with a tilted head.
"I know I'm more than cute," he teases, which gets a chuckle from me. Boy, don't I know? Though flirting with him is fun, I didn't come here for that. I decide to stop beating around the bush and go in for the kill.
"Look, I know you didn't come all the way off campus to this party to talk," I theorize with my arms crossed tightly across my chest. He assesses me with a small grin on his face. "So come on and dance." When I see his indecisiveness, I pointedly extend my hand once more and he reaches out and slaps his palm into mine. Score.
I dance with him and on him for a longer time than I intend to. He's a much better dancer than he let on, which only makes him more attractive. The way he grips my hips only gets me more and more excited for what's to come later on tonight. Not to mention, he smells amazing. Every so often, I find myself smiling at him whenever I turn around to face him on the dance floor and he only rolls his eyes but continues to lead me. Once I'm convinced I can snag him, I slowly make my way back to our old spot against the wall and he is quick to follow.
"Where are you going after this?" I ask, prompting him to pop the question. At this point, I'd usually already be in a car on the way there.
"I have to be up for work at 7 in the morning so bed," he informs me with a knowing grin. I want to groan when I realize it's almost midnight. Thank you for wasting my time, I want to say. He seems to notice my irritation because his smile only widens. "Why?"
"I was just wondering," I respond with a shrug. How much more forward can I be without being shamed for my sexuality?
Before I can think of a reason to ditch him and find someone else to spend the night with, my phone starts buzzing in my pocket. I take it out and find texts from Genesis telling me that they're getting ready to leave. They want to know if I'm going back home or out. "Before you leave, I have a question," he proposes, which gains my attention again.
"Yes?" I ask, feeling slightly hopeful.
"What's your name?" he inquires yet again, which throws me off a bit. It takes me a second to fix my irritated facial expression. I was hoping he'd ask if I'd join him in his bed tonight. "I know you had fun with me. I think I've earned the right to know what to call you."
Letting my irritation and impatience get the best of me, I offer him a slightly bitter smile and shake my head. "Don't worry about it, pretty boy." Without another word, I turn in the direction of the front door, grumbling at the turnout of tonight.
+++
Because of how early I got home last night and how fast I fell asleep, I'm more than capable of waking up and going to the library with Mel for our usual Saturday afternoon study session. In fact, I wake up way before 11 and make breakfast for everyone. The two girls join me for the early morning meal and I'm surprised that Gen isn't dozing off at her seat.
"What happened with that boy?" she probes as she bites into her pancake.
"He wanted to get to know me," I relay as I violently stab into my sausage. "I wasn't interested in that."
"Why not?" Mel queries with a slightly narrowed gaze.
"I just wanted to sleep with him. He wanted me to tell him a bunch of stuff about me," I explain with a roll of my eyes.
"So, what?" she scoffs as she moves around the straw her in orange juice.
"So I wasted my night flirting with him in hopes of getting him in bed," I simplify as I take a bite of my pancake.
"Was he nice?" Mel continues to question me with a somewhat annoyed look on her face.
"Yeah," I offer her a shrug.
"Was he attractive?" she pries.
"Obviously," I scoff as if it was a stupid question.
"Then why not give him a chance?" she finishes off with a narrowed gaze.
"Because I'm not interested in dating," I remind her dismissively. "Anyway, what'd you guys do last night?"
The conversation drifts and I can feel Mel's annoyance in the air. She doesn't agree with half of the decisions I make in regards to dating and I never care enough to censor myself. By the time the meal ends, the tension has dissipated and Gen excuses herself to take a nap. Mel and I part ways to get ready for our study session before meeting up in the living room.
Because neither of us have a car, we're left having to walk to the library. Like everything else on this campus, it's less than 10 minutes away. That's one of the things I like about Carrigan State; it's not big but isn't small. Population wise, it weighs in as a medium sized school because it has roughly 10,000 students, but the campus is confined to only a few miles. I like it, especially because it's close enough to my house that I can go home whenever I want to see my family.
One thing I don't like about CSU is how often you see the same people. It can be good if you have a crush on someone that you don't exactly know because it builds that familiarity, which allows you to approach them at the next party you see them at. But, like I said, it has its downfalls, too. Take right now, for example: Mel and I just reached the library and have settled in at our usual table. As I'm unpacking, I glance up for half a second and immediately, my eyes fall on the boy from the party last night.
I squint in slight recognition and his grin widens as if he was waiting for me to notice him. I grab Mel's wrist under the table and she looks up at me with wide eyes. "What?" she asks in surprise.
"Don't look now but there's the boy that I danced with yesterday," I whisper as I try my best to look casual. Not heeding my warning, she cranes her neck in the direction I was just looking in. "Mel!"
"Oh no," she whispers in slight panic. You wouldn't guess she'd be freaking out if you saw the average expression on her face. "He saw me. He's walking this way."
I keep my gaze locked on my textbook and release my friend's grip beneath the table. I listen as his footsteps grow closer and eventually come to a dead stop. In hopes that he'll walk away, I wait a few seconds before giving in and allowing my eyes to wander upwards. He's staring at me with a small, knowing grin. "Hello again," he greets as he rocks back and forth on his feet.
"Hi?" I respond as I look to Mel, pretending I'm not sure if he's talking to me or her. She looks between the two of us in genuine confusion. I should've clued her in on my 'act stupid' approach. She quickly bows her head and pretends to read the textbook laid out in front of her. I'm pretty sure he and I both know she's eavesdropping.
"You don't remember me?" he inquires with a tilted head. His curls flop to the side and I can tell he knows I'm lying. I'm not a good liar. I typically don't have to lie.
"Should I?" I ask with pursed lips. I feign confusion and give him a brief once over. Of course I remember him. How could I not? I wasn't that drunk. I silently pat myself on the back. Even under the influence, I have good taste.
"Well, I've always thought I was slightly memorable," he claims with a small shrug. The smirk on his lips tells me he's not buying my bluff. "Besides, it was just last night so I figured it'd still be fresh in your mind. I guess not. It probably doesn't help that I don't know your name. Then again, you refused to tell me."
I squint up at him and make an attempt at guessing his name. I didn't pay enough attention last night to retain it when he told me. It's there but it's faint; I was too worried about getting other things from him than his lousy name. "Ricky?" I propose and he chuckles quietly.
"Not even close," he denies me. "Try again. I'll give you a hint. It starts with a C."
Cameron. His name is Cameron! I try my best to seem like I have no idea who he is. "C...Caden?" I offer and he tucks his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, this one being bright red as opposed to the black one from last night. It compliments his complexion and makes him look ten times more attractive than I remember.
"Cameron," he relays his name once more and I pretend to be surprised.
"Oh," I mutter and offer him a slow nod. "Well, sorry Cameron, but I don't really remember."
"That's unfortunate. I guess we'll just have to meet again," he declares as he extends his hand for me to take. "My name is Cameron. And you are?"
I bite my lip as I try to think of a way to get out of this. I sigh in defeat and grab his hand, giving it a brief shake. "Felicity," I inform him through slightly gritted teeth. He grins as he pockets his hand.
"I'd ask for your number if it didn't look like you were going to bite my head off. So, I'll leave it at: I'll see you around, Felicity," he ends the conversation. Without another word, he turns and heads back in the direction of his table.
I release a groan as I rest my head in my hand. "He's cuter than I remembered!" Mel whispers as I rub my temples.
"I know," I groan with closed eyes.
"Then why the hell didn't you flirt back?" she hisses as she stares at his retreating figure.
"I don't know!" I retort in frustration. "He seems like he wants more from me than just sex."
Now Mel glares at me. "I still don't think that's a bad thing," she mumbles in a slightly annoyed tone.
"It is for me. I don't have time for someone who wants anything more than meaningless hookups. Then I'd have to reject him and I'm not good at that so I'd rather not get involved," I ramble.
"So you'd rather sleep with assholes like Rex and Danny when you feel like it?" she questions with a small scowl.
"Yes, Mel, I would. It's clear cut, to the point, and there are no feelings involved," I elaborate in irritation. I nod in the direction of the boy, who I should probably refer to as Cameron now. "They would never approach me in the library like that."
"You have a boy who seems genuinely nice and is obviously interested in you and you turn him down? Do you know how hard it is to come by a guy like that?" she interrogates as she shakes her head at me. "You're not even going to give him a chance?"
"Just because you want a relationship doesn't mean I do, Mel. You're always going to be upset if you judge people for not behaving how you would in their shoes," I inform her for what feels like the fiftieth time.
She gives me one last fleeting look before rolling her eyes as hard as she can. "Whatever, Fee," she mumbles before returning to her textbook.
A few hours later, we walk in silence back to our apartment. Gen is still there and, hopefully, she's awake. It may be six o'clock in the afternoon but Gen can sleep anytime, anywhere. She's typically asleep when Mel and I get back from our Saturday study sessions. We just wake her up to eat and then we get ready to go out. Today, however, I've decided not to take the chance at lucking out again like last night and am just going to go over Rex's apartment. I've yet to tell Mel because I know she'll get mad at me again and I don't feel like managing her emotions.
We unlock the door and the sound of the television fills my ears, so I know that Genesis is awake. "Are we going out tonight?" she asks once we reach the living room.
"Of course," Mel answers as she drops her bag on the floor.
"Actually..." I trail in a slightly hesitant tone.
"Typical," Mel scoffs from her place across the room. "That reminds me, guess who we saw?"
"Who?" Gen asks from underneath her blanket and I can tell where this story is going.
My short friend puts a manicured hand on her hip. "Remember the boy Fee tried to get with last night?" she recalls.
"Cute one? Curly hair?" Gen remembers, tearing her gaze from her phone. She brushes a curl behind her ear as she waits for Mel to answer.
"Yeah, and guess what he did?" Mel continues to choppily explain.
"Can you just tell me the story?" Gen requests with a flat expression on her face. I repress a laugh at her disregard for Mel's dramatic effects.
"He tried to talk to Fee! And she brushed him off!" Mel exclaims in exasperation. "I think she's scared that she may start to like this boy!"
"That is not true!" I counter as I sit up quickly.
Gen looks between the two of us eagerly. "Oooh, is Felicity changing her ways?" Gen ponders, "Is Mel going to have a breakdown about Felicity's dating life? Find out on the next episode of Things I Don't Really Care About."
I glare at her as she gets up and heads to her room, leaving me alone with the feisty blonde. Mel sighs in frustration at Gen not getting her point and storms off to her room. Knowing she'll only get more angry if left alone, I make an attempt to call after her. "Melody!"
"Unless you're going to tell me I'm right, I don't want to hear it!" she yells back. I huff in frustration as I sit back on the couch.
Thanks, Cameron.
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