"Where have you been young lady?" Dad asked as I entered the mansion. As if he's been waiting for me for a long time. Ginabi na rin kasi ako ng uwi dahil na rin may mga tao talagang hindi ako sineryoso sa pag-gather ko ng data para sa research ko.

Even if I want to face him while I explain, I can't bring myself to lift my chin up and look at him straight at his eyes so I kept my head low as I answered his question.

"Dad, I just went out to conduct some research for my school project"

I didn't get a reply so I decided to look at him to find out what's wrong but I instantly regretted it as I saw him glaring at me. I want to turn my head low but I didn't dare, thinking that he would go berserk.

"Conducting some reasearch? In Borealis? Why didn't you just conducted it in this neighborhood?"

I really don't know what is this about or why is he getting so worked-up about it. I just wanted to be familiar with the whole city so I traveled to another neighborhood.

"Stop it hon, you're scaring the child" Mom joined in the conversation as she tried to calm Dad down but instead of calming down he continued with his outburst.

"I told you to stay low if you're going to do anything as you please. Why don't you listen?"

I might overcame my inferiority towards the bullies but it will not be the same towards my Dad, everytime I face him, my legs will start to tremble so are my hands.

"I did stay low Dad but..."

I didn't finish my sentence as he threw some documents that he's holding. I didn't mind the papers drifting apart in the air as I was focused on how I'll calm myself down from the anxiety that I'm feeling right now. I want to run away but it seems like my feet are frozen in the middle of the winter as they won't budge.

"You did stay low? Young lady, you're reportedly seen at the bus stop using our family name to scare someone and you're saying that you did stay low?"

'They've already recognized me as a Marquez when I went to school on my second day. They probably found it out on my records. If you really want me to stay low, you should altered my birth certificate if that's what you want'

I want to tell him all those words badly but I just can't bring myself to do it. My respect for him is still greater than my desire to disagree to him. Besides I will just make things worst if I tried to go against his words.

"I'm sorry Dad. I'll make sure it won't happen again"

Huminga ako nang malalim dahil mukhang bibigay na ang katawan ko sa takot.

Mabilis ang pagtibok ng puso ko dahil sa kaba, ramdam ko rin ang pagpintig ng ugat sa aking sentido, mabuti na nga lang at hindi pa ako nahihimatay sa senaryong kinaroroonan ko ngayon.

"It won't really happen again because you are grounded! You'll go to school and go home immediately. You are not allowed to get out anytime as you please. If you have an outside research or an outdoor activity you can gather data with the bodyguards and you can leave guarded. Understood?"

Tumulo ang luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilan dahil sa sobrang takot sa aking dibdib. Normal lang naman na magalit ang mga magulang pero sa tuwing naririnig ko ang galit na tono nila hindi ko mapigilang matakot.

Tumango na lamang ako habang sinusubukan kong itago ang mga mata kong ano mang oras ay magtutuloy tuloy nang magbitaw ng mga luha.

Umalis na rin sa harapan ko si Dad na siyang naging signal ko para magtungo sa kwarto. Ibinagsak ko ang sarili ko sa kama saka ko ibinuhos roon ang pag-iyak.

All my life, I've been acting in accordance with my father's rules and expectations although I can't meet all of his expectations because I'm simply scared of the additional changes that might occur to myself.

I chose to follow the given alternative as it is much easier than the actual expectations. But I still failed, I'm still failing for following those given alternatives.

I wiped the tears off my face when I heard a knock on my door. I fixed myself before letting them to come in. As I saw that it was Mom, I let out a sigh of relief.

"Are you okay now? Have you calmed down?" Mom asked as she's the only one who understands me. She knew all of my hardships and what I've came through, she's the only one I've shared my problems with for she's the only one I trust.

"Bakit po ganun Mom? I've lived my life to meet Dad's expectation and tried to hide myself but it's not enough. Kung tutuusin hindi po ito ang unang panahon na lumantad ang pagiging Marquez ko. The university already found out who I am so I thought it would be fine to reveal myself"

Muli ay tumulo nanaman ang mga luha ko dahil hindi ko alam kung bakit bawat mga kilos ko ay pakiramdam ko mali na para bang pumasok ako sa kabilang mundo na napakakumplikado ng lahat.

"You are already here for three days, by now you should get a glimpse of how tough could be the life here. It's just different from the other cities."

Mom said as she combed my hair that I ruffled earlier out of stress. I wonder what could be special in this city to be different. It's not pleasant and it's not normal. They've been swallowed by their thirst of being superior.

"People here tend to show off to gain popularity. To gain power. And to do that, they do all sorts of things, they dress themselves with fancy branded suits and dresses. They surround themselves with watch and jewelries. They live for the public and display themselves as if they're in a stupid pet show."

We both chuckled as she said that. I am happy that Mom has been on my side since day one, if I were to state a similarity between the two of us, it is definitely our simplicity.

We rather live in simplicity than being a show-off. But for some reason, she really have no choice as she is the wife of Theo Marquez, my dad. She has to be on his side all the time wherever they go.

"Why is that Mom? Why do they have to show off? And why can't Dad be like you Mom? You can convince him, for us to have a peaceful life, and escape from this toxicity."

I asked once again, alam kong nagiging makulit na ako sa pagtatanong pero hindi mawawala sa isip ko ang tanong kung hindi ito masasagot sa ngayon.

"It's just how it is. Maybe someday, you'll have a full understanding of how this society works. As for your Dad, you know that he doesn't listen to anyone, even to me so it would take a while before anyone convince him. It's even impossible anymore."

I guess I'll just have to wait. It'll take time but it is certain that a time will come where I'll slowly accept the reality but I am not saying that I won't change it either.

I believe that change is in the hands of everyone. I just wish that soon enough I will have the power to convince every single person who lives in my generation to bring change to this sick society.

"But you know what, your Dad is far from what he is now when we're still at your age. Even after we got married, he was so gentle but one day, he just started to change. He started to change when we got a child."

I was caught off guard when I heard Mom's last sentence. As if I was poured with a bucket of cold water. I don't want to overthink as it'll just worsen the situation but I can't help it but to look at Mom with teary-eyes.

"Is that child the reason why Dad changed a lot?" I can't help but to ask. Mom was startled as I brought it up as she realize that she somehow let a sentence that I might misunderstand.

"Not at all, that's not what I meant. Don't overthink too much, it would affect your mental health. Hush now baby, don't cry."

I calmed down a bit as she hugged me tight from behind. I know that Mom didn't meant it that way but I can't help but to think the possibility of what I am thinking to be factual.

If only I can do something now to fix everything, I would gladly take the first step to make a change.

"Dinner might be served now. Fix yourself and calm yourself down before you go downstairs. I'll wait for you. Don't ever worry for trivial things alright?" I nodded as Mom closed the door of my room.

*****

A/N: Are you also afraid of someone in your family? If you are, can you tell more about it on twitter with a hashtag #EuphoricOrdellFiles.