3 years ago...

One Saturday morning, while I was preparing to sing at a cafe, Philip approached me with a heartwarming smile. He is the reason why I got in as a singer in the cafe and since then, I developed some feelings for him.

Philip is one of a kind so it is not surprising that I've developed feelings for him. He is the one who saves me from being bullied everyday even if it means that he has to return anyone's insult that being thrown at me.

"Hey Sam, are you busy preparing for your performance?" He asked while gently scrubbing his hair back. I felt a heat on my cheeks as he approached me getting some stupid ideas and guessing what he's trying to do.

"Uhm, yeah" I simply replied as I expect for my wildest dreams to come true. "Oh, I just want to say that the performance is moved in the afternoon, I just want to ask if you want to go out with me for a date?" He shyly asked while he is biting his lips.

I just nodded, agreeing to his invitation. As he left the backstage, I jumped out of excitement holding back my squeals as I don't want to make it obvious that I like him that much.

'Did he just asked me out?'

I quickly fixed myself before going out from the backstage as I don't want to keep him waiting.

Some time later, we're already taking a long drive riding his car so I somehow felt bored but I just chose to wait patiently until we arrive to our destination.

We ended up in a windy grass field so I guess we already arrived at the location. Iniisip ko pa rin kung bakit dito niya ako dinala gayong walang katao-tao rito. Dahil maaliwalas ang tanawin, hindi na lamang ako nagreklamo.

Pagbaba namin, ay sunod niyang binuksan ang trunk ng kaniyang kotse saka inilabas ang isang picnic basket kasama ang isang makapal na checkered na tela. He's more romantic than I thought he would be, I was expecting that we're going to movies or restaurant but I guess we should expect the unexpected.

"You already prepared this before you ask me out?" I asked him in a surprised tone, still can't believe that we're in picnic with just the two of us. "Yes, because I have a feeling that you would gladly accept" he playfully answered.

"Yabang" I replied. Well, it's true that I gladly accepted. Sino ba namang tao ang tatanggihan ang alok na date ng crush niya diba? I am a nerd but I have moments of desperation too, so I just grabbed the chance since it is offering itself.

"Why are you suddenly asking me on a date by the way?" I can't help but ask as I continue the topic. The last time I checked, we were just friends and then later on, we're in a 'asking out stage'

I took a bite on a cake that he prepared as I wait for his answer. "I don't know if you already know this but I have a crush on you ever since I saw you being bullied" napataas ang kilay ko nang marinig ang sinabi niya.

Like why would anyone have a crush on someone being bullied? "Don't get me wrong, I am not attracted to you for being bullied, it's just that I find it hard seeing you in that state. I just want to be your knight in shining armour who stays by your side to protect you"

I looked away as I find his confession corny, it's sweet but for some reason it's just too cheesy. Kahit na ganoon, hindi pa ko pa rin mapigilang makaramdam ng kilig sa mga sinabi niya. Sumundot ako ng icing mula sa cake saka ko ipinahid sa mukha niya para di niya mahalata ang kilig na nararamdaman ko.

"Ang corny mo" pang-aasar ko sa kaniya saka ako tumakbo lalo na nang makita kong sumundot na rin ito ng icing para ipahid sa mukha ko.

Masaya kaming naghabulan sa malawak na damuhan, sa sobrang pagod ko ay bumagal ang aking pagtakbo dahilan para mahuli niya ako. Napahiga kami sa damuhan habang patuloy pa ring nagtatawanan.

'Siguro may nagawa akong maganda kaya ganto na lang kasayang karanasan ang ibinibigay sa akin'

Napangiti ako dahil sa kaisipang iyon, sana nga ay walang katapusan itong kasiyahang ito. Aaminin ko na pakiramdam ko ay nasa panaginip lang ako. At kung magkataon man na panaginip ang lahat, ayoko nang magising.

"O napalalim ata yung iniisip mo ah" natatawang sabi ni Philip habang nakatitig sa akin, sinalubong ko rin ng titig ang kaniyang nakalulunod na itim na mga mata.

"Iniisip ko kasi na kung sakali man na panaginip ang lahat ng ito, hindi na ako gigising" mahinahon ngunit nag-aalalang saad ko sa kaniya na dahilan para bumalikwas siya ng bangon.

Idinantay niya ang magkabila niyang kamay sa magakabilang gilid ko saka niya inilapit ang mukha niya sa akin na siyang ikinagulat ko. "Sabihin mo ngayon, sa tingin mo ba nasa loob ka pa rin ba ng isang panaginip?" Tanong niya habang mapang-akit niya akong tinititigan.

Napakurap ako dahil sa bilis ng tibok ng puso ko. Gusto kong magsalita ngunit parang may nakabara sa lalamunan ko at pakiramdam ko'y mauutal lang ako kapag sinubukan ko. Umiling na lamang ako bilang sagot sa tanong niya.

Mas lalo pang bumilis ang pagtibok ng puso ko nang mas lalo pa niyang ilapit ang kaniyang mukha sa akin. Napapikit na lamang ako sa sobrang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko. 'Is my first kiss happening now?' Napabalikwas ako ng bangon nang mapagtanto kong kanina pa kami narito.

"Anong oras na?" Tanong ko sa kaniya, agad naman siyang napatingin sa kaniyang relo para tignan ang oras. "3:15 na, 4 o'clock ang start ng performance mo kaya halika na para maaga tayong makarating" agad ko naman siyang sinundan para ligpitin ang mga pinagkainan namin kanina bago tumungo sa kotse.

"Did you liked our date?" He asked out of nowhere as we drive back to the cafe. "Of course, it is my best experience so far. In fact, I didn't expect this to come at all, I just thought my feelings is all for nothing"

I shut my mouth immediately as I accidentally spilled that I have feelings for him. Well I know that it should be obvious enough for agreeing to this date but spitting out straight to his face is really not necessary. I felt stupid at that part, napapikit na lamang ako ng mariin dahil sa sarili kong katangahan.

"So, you also have feelings for me?" Tanong niya nang may mapang-asar na tono. "Just drive" I simply replied, I heard him chuckle so I gave him a glare to make him stop.

"Are you nervous for the performance?" He asked to divert the topic so I sat straight since I felt assured that he wont tease me anymore. "Why would I? I was just singing at the backstage while the band is playing on stage"

Philip didn't respond after that and just focused on driving. It's almost four when we arrived back at the cafe. "There's no time, go to the backstage now" pagmamadali ni Klarisse, isa sa mga staff ng cafe. She's exceptionally beautiful today, gusto ko siyang purihin pero hindi ko na nagawa dahil halos kaladkarin niya ako sa pagmamadali.

"Wait a moment, I need to wash my hands" I tried to excuse myself as my hand felt sticky and slippery, masyado atang napasobra ang paghawak namin ni Philip sa icing ng cake kanina "We have no time for that, you can wash your hands later, we might start the show in no time" she insisted so I don't have a choice but to endure the sticky feeling.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the show you're waiting for is finally here. You'll be listening to A Thousand Years covered by our singer for tonight so I hope you sit still and enjoy"  Klarisse announced as the instrumental started. I took that as my cue so I prepared myself to sing.

Although my hand is slipping through the microphone, I managed to sing the first stanza, when I'm certain that it wont slip any further I just continued all the way so I wont be distracted and ruin the performance. I am quite nervous since it is my first time to perform but the good thing is I am performing backstage so I easily get back at my feet.

As the chorus started to play, I lost control of the mic that caused it to slip out of my hand. It made a dropping sound, at that moment, I already knew that I messed up.

Feeling responsible to my mistake, I decided to show up to apologize but it gave me a surprise instead. Lahat ng tao ay nagbabato ng kung ano ano sa mismong stage, walang banda tulad ng sabi ni Philip, ang nakikita ko lang ay si Klarisse habang may hawak na mikropono habang may tumutugtog na minus one.

"You! You ruined my performance! It's all your fault!" Sigaw ni Klarisse nang mabaling sa akin ang atensyon niya. Galit na galit itong lumapit sa akin saka ako binigyan ng isang malakas na sampal. I was taken a back for what she did.

'What is happening? Is she lipsyncing all along?'

I turned to Philip expecting that he'll explain but he just turned away. From that moment, I knew that he lied, he decieved me. He is just using me to have some entertainment. I chose to left the place as I don't want them to see me shed tears.

I am so stupid to fall for his tricks, to fall to his palms as he play me like his toy. I was so stupid for wishing for this dream not to end, I was so stupid for not realizing that I am a nerd and no one will take me seriously.

I would've wished that this is a dream, and if it is, I am wishing to wake up from this dream. Or should I say, from a nightmare.