"She's the heiress of the Marquez family right? She doesn't look like one."

Pumintig ang mga tainga ko nang marinig ang mga babae sa harap kong nag-uusap usap. Isang dalaga at isang ginang, malamang mag-ina 'tong mga ito. Magbubulungan na rin lang, yung naririnig pa.

"You two have class why don't you try to replace me instead since you think that you can do better than me."

Halatang nagulat ang dalawa sa narinig nang mapalingon ang mga ito sa gawi ko. Pero tulad ng karamihang nakikilala ko, nagawa ng mga itong ngumiti.

'Wow ang plastic.'

"You think so? Well, I can't blame you for recognizing such beauty as ours. Thank you for the compliment."

Humahagikgik na saad nila habang nagtitinginan pa sa isa't-isa. Akala siguro nila ay hindi ko alam na pailalim nila akong iniinsulto.

"I said you have class, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're beautiful. Too bad though, you can try to be the most elegant in the whole planet but with those kind of brains you can't do anything to lift yourselves on top. What a shame."

After hearing that, they squinted their eyes and left. At least they know to themselves that they don't stand a chance when I am the one they're facing.

Hindi ko gusto ang nagiging kahinatnan ng gabing ito, napaka-daming drama. Kung bakit ba naman kasi sa dinami-daming pwedeng mangyari, sampalan, at insultuhan pa ang nauna.

Nawalan na ako ng ganang makihalubilo sa loob at lumabas na lang para magmuni-muni dahil mukha namang walang may pakialam sa akin doon, hindi ko tuloy maiwasang ihalintulad sila sa mga patay gutom na pumunta lang para makikain.

Hindi ko na rin naman na mahagilap si Martha dahil mukhang nag-eenjoy na din sa loob. Unang beses mangyari to sa kaniya kaya ayaw ko namang sirain yung kasiyahan niya ngayong gabi kaya hinayaan ko na lang muna.

"Sa lahat ng naka evening gown, ikaw lang yung nakita kong nasa swing tapos nakasalamin. Ang baduy mo alam mo yon?"

'Philip.'

Kung kailan naman akala ko matatahimik na ako, saka naman sumulpot ang isang to. Sinamaan ko na ng tingin at lahat lahat pero naglakas loob pa ding tumabi sa akin.

"For once can't you quit your childish acts? How did you get in anyway? The last time I checked, you don't have any job at the moment and you are grounded, or should I say, homeless." Iritable kong tanong sa kaniya, gusto ko siyang layuan but understanding the nature of an animal, susundan lang ako niyan hanggang tuluyang masira ang gabi ko.

"I am invited, and I still have connections. You're not the brightest person on earth are you?"

'Is he saying that I'm dumb?'

"I am not saying you're dumb if that's what you're thinking. I don't mean it that way. Minsan lang kasi wala kang common sense."

I laughed maniacally as I heard him say that. Wow! Just wow! At least ako wala akong common sense sa mga bagay na may kinalaman sa mga kinagagalitan ko, eh siya?

"You've got the nerves to talk. You are the one who knew that I will get hurt for just one but big mistake and yet you chose to fool me."

I planned on talking to him calmly but I just can't. All the pain that I bear in the past, all the words that I want to tell him rushed back in my memory in an instant.

"So you've still got problems with that? You still didn't moved on? I see. But I think that's your fault. Who would agree to perform backstage and believe that only the band gets to perform on-stage? It's your fault for being a fool."

My tears came rushing down my cheeks as I felt like bursting. Nanunuyo na ang lalamunan ko dahil sa walang tigil na pagpatak ng mga luha ko pero pinilit ko, pinilit kong magsalita para ilabas lahat ng sama ng loob ko, lahat ng hinanakit ko.

"In the past, I think so too. But when I put a lot of thoughts about it, I knew to myself that I am not a fool, that it's not my fault why I was fooled. I am just wrong for loving someone like you because I thought that you have real feelings for me. I was blinded by your kindness as you always defended me, you always kept me safe that I didn't saw your true colors. And now here you are, insisting that it is my fault for being a fool, you knew very well why I agreed to perform backstage. Because I have social anxiety Philip. Ano? Biro lang mabully? Na madaling mahandle ang trauma? Ni hindi mo ako kilala Philip, hindi mo alam ang buong pagkatao at mga pinagdaanan ko. Basta ang alam mo lang, isa akong nerd na madaling lokohin at paglaruan."

After that, I left the scene. I can't stand his presence anymore. He's so much older than me but how come that he's this immature?

Hindi na dapat ako nagpapaapekto sa kaniya, akala ko malakas na ako. Akala ko kaya ko nang humarap sa ganitong sitwasyon pero hindi pa pala.

Kakapunas ko sa luha ko hindi ko na nakita ang taong sumasalubong sa akin kaya nabundol ko ito. Wala na, sira na. Yung gabing dapat ay masaya, sinira lang ng isang kagaya niya.

"Hey why are you crying? Is there something wrong? What happened?" Nang makita ko si Bailey ay agad akong yumakap sa kaniya na parang batang gustong magsumbong sa magulang.

Wala na akong pakialam kung ano ang isipin niya pero kailangan ko lang talaga ng masasandalan ngayon, masakit pa rin sa akin ang mga nangyari sa nakaraan.

Maybe I was just seeking for a safe place, I am seeking for a comfortable place and it just happened that I found it in Bailey's arms.

Hinagod ni Bailey ang likuran ko para patahanin ako pero imbes na tumahan ako ay lalo lamang akong naiyak at sa bawat pag-iyak ko, kahit papaano ay gumagaan ang loob ko.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano katagal na kaming nasa ganoong posisyon kaya ako na ang bumitaw sa pagkakayakap ko sa kaniya.

"If you don't mind, can you tell me what happened to you?" Nagdalawang isip pa ako kung sasabihin ko ba sa kaniya ang mga nangyari o mananahimik na lang ako pero sa huli ay nagkwento lang din ako.

"I met my ex. I don't even know if I can really call him an ex since our relationship is not real anyway. You know what he did? He blamed me for all the things he had caused. He said that it's my fault that I experienced all the pain when in fact he is the one behind those pain. He even promised that he'll protect me so I don't have to worry for being hurt pero anong nangyari? Binuwag niya ang sarili niyang pangako, siya lang din ang nanakit sa akin ng sobra."

Akala ko ay tutulo nanaman ang mga luha ko pero puro galit na lang ang tanging nararamdaman ko sa loob ko. Wala na yung sakit pero nanggigigil pa din ako tuwing inaalala ko kung ano ang mga nangyari kanina.

"You are familiar with what they say that 'A promise is meant to be broken.' right?" I nodded, madalas kapag may mga taong nakakaranas na maiwan kasama ng mga pangakong ibinigay sa kanila, laging yan ang bukang bibig nila.

"I've known that quote since I was a child but you know what? I don't believe in it." I smiled while Bailey is confused to what I just said.

"Maybe you're currently thinking why I don't believe in that quote when it already happened to me. The thing is, there is an error to that quote. Do you know what exactly a promise is?"

I asked trying to assess his understanding of the concept of the word 'promise'.

"Promise, it is an assurance that one person holds. It's the one that gives people hope for something they have a doubt on." He simply answered. He's well aware of the meaning of a promise but he believes in such silly quotes.

"Exactly! It's an assurance. Therefore, a promise is meant to be fulfilled. Why would you make a promise in the first place if you can't make sure that you can fulfill it, right?"

Bailey looked at me still unconvinced so I laughed at his reaction. For a person that believing in a quote all his life. I can't blame him if he has different opinions.

"What if that person left you a promise but ended up dying along the way before he could even fulfill it? Can't you call that a broken promise?"

He asked innocently, he looks like he is not aware of the world. Hindi ko alam kung wala pa siyang experience sa mga bagay-bagay o sadyang gusto lang niyang kontrahin ang pinaniniwalaan ko.

"It is indeed a broken promise. But, it's not like he broke it in his own accord. His promise being broken is reasonable since the person who made that promise is gone. It's not like he didn't want to fulfill his promise, it's because the universe decided to take him away before he could even fulfill the promise that he made. In conclusion, it is different from those jerks who promised a person but irresponsible enough to leave their promises unfulfilled."

Bailey just nodded and stared at the bright full moon.