What the hell have I just done? I slink off towards my new hiding place. What a stupid move! I've been working all of this time to become that man Tally deserves, and I just ruined everything I've been working on. I've just become one of her bullies. Reaching my hiding spot, I sit down under the canopy of trees. Trying to reflect, however my spot isn't far enough away for me not to feel the sadness, shock and utter despair Tally is feeling right now. She looked so much better—so much stronger. Am I that insecure about her leaving me forever that I lashed out at the only girl who's ever truly cared about Daniel Sinclair? What a shitty move! I am truly a selfish asshole. I put my happiness before hers.

I reach into the hole I've dug into the ground and pull out a bottle of Jack Daniels.

The last few weeks have been hell, but Spencer and Jared have been by my side as much as they can. Deciding to be a better man for myself and others, I quit drinking.

Spencer asked his dad for assistance, because it's dangerous to stop cold turkey. We worked out a plan for reducing the amount I drink in a controlled setting. One of dad's trusted colleagues supervised and prescribe medications when necessary.

We started doing exercises like walking and hikes at first, and Spencer even got me to try meditations, which I actually found beneficial.

After Tally's family and I had a long talk with Jared, he agreed to start doing activities with me that I love, without having the alcohol involved. He also decided, on his own, to stop throwing parties at his parents' house.

Luckily, I had already stopped doing those activities when I started drinking heavily.

Spencer helped me think about long-term goals. I decided to talk with Jared about the possibility of starting the outdoor adventure company we've always talked about.

I thought a lot about Tally, and it has been one of my few hang-ups.

I've worked hard to patch up my relationship with Tally's family.

Sometimes at the beginning, I would have to keep reminding myself why I stopped in the first place. Also, Spencer convinced me there were several other reasons for stopping drinking alcohol, including helping to secure a future and honoring the life I've been given.

Spencer actually convinced me to try journaling. This helped me start to identify the actual emotions involved with my increased drinking. He and I worked on ways for me to have different coping mechanisms when these emotions occurred.

I know I am going to have to battle with this problem the rest of my life. Alcohol can no longer be the way I deal when things are tough or don't go my way. I need to build my relationships that include a healthy relationship with myself.

At first, I still battled with sleep problems, nausea and vomiting, shaking and mood swings. My energy wasn't always where I needed it to be, but Spencer encouraged me to do lighter activities on those days, to not give up and to most of all forgive myself on days when I can't do everything I want to.

I'm about ready to unscrew the cap when my name is bellowed through the woods, echoing off of everything.

"Daniel Sinclair, put that bottle down. Come out here and talk to me like the man you were becoming and not the child you just showed yourself to be."

I shove the bottle back into the hole.

"Nope, bring the bottle out here, so I can be rid of it."

I gulp, knowing the ass chewing I'm about to receive from Spencer.

"Give me the bottle!" Spencer shouts.

I don't argue with him. I hand it over, and he throws it and a crash can be heard.

Spencer gets up in my face and glares at me. "What is wrong with you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Tallulah! She's back to the person she was before she left!"

I look down at the ground. "We had a fight."

"What the hell did you say to cause her to become this way?"

I hesitate. "I basically told her that she wouldn't make it because she's never protected herself."

"Asshole! I know you love her, but hot damn, that is not the way to see if she loves you, too."

"I want her to stay." I whine.

"You want Tally to stay and be the person she was before she left? Did you even hear all the things she's been doing? Did you even see with your own eyes the changes she's gone through? Do you really love her, or are you obsessed with her?"

"You know I love her."

Spencer fumes. "Then she has to figure out her future. She feels like she's lost. That she doesn't know who she is, and where she belongs in the world? Idiot!"

"Sorry."

"Don't say sorry to me! Go find Tally and apologize, you dope."

"She's not at home?" I question.

"No, she disappeared after I had a talk with her—trying to convince her to go back to training to be a Protector."

My eyebrows furrow. "She quit. I didn't mean for that to happen."

"What did you think would happen after you reminded her about her bullies and her supposed inability to protect herself? Sometimes, I think you want her to be reliant on you. To have to need you."

"No! That was never my intent!" I shout. Does it seem that way to Tally?

"Then go talk to her. Explain why you said what you did. You've got to face this in one way or another."

Leaving Spencer behind, I head off in the direction I know so well. Hopefully I will find Tally at her secret place.