~I've got my pride and I know how to hide, all the sorrow and pain...I'll do my crying in the rain...~

Crying In The Rain

Michael

Strapped to chains...

I'm in the most helpless state that I'll ever be.

Abandoned by the only person I ever trusted, ever placed love after my supposed death, and left to rot by the one I had abandoned myself.

It's crazy... I'm stuck, in this room... but...

I thought she said there were nightmares that would await me? Where are they?

There wasn't any, to begin with. But her sadistic actions were so real. So... believable. She even... followed Xandor willingly... her stare that never ever looked back on our past, a stare filled with so much hate...

I kind of feel her pain a little, because I had caused it, but I don't understand. Why would she resort to being sadistic then?

Right on cue, pain stings my very existence. An uncontrollable beast. From absolute nothingness. Visions float within my vision, scenes of depression. Of a single person, the sadness engulfing her, until a black-clothed man saved her, only to expand that black cloud, and turn her mad.

I felt sucked into that vision. The two saw me interrupt them, and the moment I recognised their faces... my body could not be felt anymore. I was a wandering soul without a protective shell. I was drawn closer to them by their alluring force...

Only to be devoured. I jumped out of the vision, back to reality, with beads of cold sweat dripping down onto my armour that activated immediately to protect me.

I could not help but feel anguish and despair. As the last Protector that I may ever be. The tears that were once dormant welled up and overflowed from the deep dark pits within my eyes, down my face.

All hope lost, without a clue to what will happen to me in the future.

"Michael, have you ever thought of how life would be if none of this ever happened?" Elise? I turned my head still stuck to the table and found her sitting on the windowsill to the room, the only one - in her halfbreed form.

"I never thought of it... when all I ever loved had been lost, why would I think of it? It's a happy ending I would never get to see... when I know he will be there to ruin it..." All Elise did was blink, but it was in confusion.

"Are you sure he ruined your relationship? He had a point. However, the only way to overthrow him, because his methods are simply wrong to implement in our pragmatic world, would be to join him. To defeat the enemy at its very heart, you need to become them and understand how they think at their very core... especially when you are the lone ranger now." The aura of her Fallen side grew stronger when I saw her talk. However, deep in my heart, I knew this was just a vision, a dream, or hallucination - it wasn't her in heart, mind and soul.

"I... is this you? How can I bring myself to trust you? You're not Elise, but you're here..."

"I'm just a remnant of her soul... lingering within you. You know how she works, deep within your heart, Michael. Deep inside, she wants peace, and you know that after hanging out with the Fallen, her thoughts have indeed wandered far. You need to bring her back into the Light, bring balance to her. Else, the world will fall into true chaos. You know the drill, however. Bring her too much into the Light, and when she eradicates all Fallen, the world will be too perfect and there will be no progress. The monsters of the night hunt you, Michael. Break free from the chains. You must find her, bring her back, remind her of her true self." Elise faded away into black, red glowing eyes replacing them. The Fallen have come to get me.

"If whatever I heard was real... I shouldn't be here weeping." I called upon my sword, Arista. It landed in the room, sword edge burying itself on the floor, handle just enough for me to reach. I pulled it from the floor and cut the chains. However, the dark energy had decided to invade my sword's blade. With a flick of my finger on the blade, the energy disappeared completely, and I escaped from the room before it collapsed on itself and sunk into the void. The Fallen were running after me now. I wondered why, when I had a mask...

It wasn't on my face to disguise me.

Argh, goddammit. That doggone duo probably pulled it off me somehow. Need to find a mask... that's the first thing to do...

In order to understand the enemy.

I opened a wormhole leading to the city, and ran around in the shadows, rendering myself invisible at times to avoid detection, just to find a mask shop.

And when I finally found one, as I entered, the shop was eerily devoid of people. Not even the shopkeeper. I suspected he probably was wandering the streets as a Fallen, but I heard footsteps. A man covered in tattoos walked out, his eyes blazing red.

"Holy-" He saw me, but just shrugged.

"Another customer. How do you do?" He let out his hand for a handshake, but I was very reluctant.

"Oh, I won't bite. I serve all, as a shop owner. I can't reject any business. Besides, whatever the dark lord wants, he will eventually get it, without me having to do the job. Even if a holy man enters my shop, I will still attend to them. Anyway, what mask would you like?" I stood there agape; a Fallen with such philosophical thoughts! I might actually have a more peaceful time for now.

"I'll have a look around unless you can recommend something?" I asked. His eyes lit up again, although it was a genuinely happy one, the red colour made it look very menacing.

"Sure. If you don't mind, I'll like to take your measurements?" He gestured to a chair.

"Uhm, sure - no problem. Are you going to custom-make one?"

"Maybe... why would someone like you come here to find a mask to hide your true self?" With him casually dropping the question, I thought this was a step too deep into my privacy.

"I... am not welcome here. If the mask is my entry ticket, then I will get one, for myself, and enter the world I thought I would never see." The shop owner, continued taking my measurements, including my head dimensions - why would he do that if it was just a normal face mask?

"Interesting... interesting. But you do want to keep half of your true self shown to remind you of who you are, am I right? And if I am... I have the perfect idea in mind." He rushed to a workstation nearby, a sketch forming within minutes.

Showing it to me, I don't know if I should reject his offer. Somehow, the design beckoned to me. Yearned for an owner.

~ Picture sourced from Google, but the true source is from Deviantart. This does not belong to me. This is Kaneki Ken's mask from Tokyo Ghoul.~

"What material are you going to use?" I gestured to the black portions, where he replied, "Leather. All leather."

"How fast can you get this done?" The last question that I will ever drop for now... and he tells me straight in the face with no hesitation, "By today. If you are afraid to go out now, I can let you stay here. Just don't go where you shouldn't go. Toilet's to the right." He pointed to a restroom.

"Thank you for your kindness, how should I address you?" The guy lets out a small chuckle before answering, "Jason." I retreated back to the chair and decided to just wait. The Fallen outside the shop, where I could see them due to the windows which apparently were see-through within the shop, passed by - pausing as they probably smelled something wrong, of which that was me, before walking away.

Jason seemed to notice. "Everyone seems to like a scent like yours,"

"Definitely... and that's what I don't like."

"Haven't you pleaded to the dark lord to welcome you? With the world as it is, the dark lord is now the ruler. You will have no choice but to approach him."

"Maybe... maybe I will. I've never had the courage to face him for the length of even a decent conversation, but I have to... for the person I have to protect - even though I lost her to him."

"I know you will get that courage one day, holy man."

"Just call me Michael." His eyes blinked once more.

"Anyway, to match masks I make, I ordered some costumes to go along with them - there's one that might actually fit the mask I'm making for you - the way you are wouldn't match it. It's the room right next to my workstation here." He opened the door to reveal a room full of costumes put on hangers in movable racks.

"Uhm... thank you, again?" I took a step into the room, where the dim red light was the only light source. There were outfits in colour - monochromatic outfits, but one that really took my eye was one leather outfit in total black with some streaks of white at some places. There were an additional matching hoodie and a pair of black boots, bundled together.

~ Sourced from Google images - original source Amazon ~

Taking it out, I asked, "This for sale, Jason?"

"For you? Michael, it's... free. It's fate that brought us together... I think charging you for this might be too much. Now hurry - you might want to change lest any of the better ones realise you are out here."

Honestly, I cannot believe how a person like him can be so kind. I slipped into the toilet and took the swap of clothes. It doesn't feel normal... there's this overwhelming feeling of darkness, but I have no other choice if I want to stay relatively undetected.

I took a glance at my skin as I changed; the funny thing was, my nails had turned black, and patches of black were appearing on my body, they were not layered upon my original skin, but embedded into it, making it part of me.

Elise seemed to notice this before... but she never mentioned anything. Besides... her reactions had told me she also had no idea. What was happening? I don't remember these...

Was it a side effect of the elemental form? It can't be. Hera, the one in charge of the Elemental Project when the Protectors were still around, assured me there would be no repercussions.

Apparently, if this was one... she had overlooked the flaws, no matter what they were.

Fitting the last piece of clothing, I bundled my Protector robes together; they will not go into the dumpster. That's one of the very few reminders of myself I have left. Washing my hair with some water, to also smoothen it, I tied it into a ponytail. My curls were getting messy - I have to find a comb soon.

"You're a Protector, remember that, Michael. You'll never be one of them. Never. Remember your duty." Holding my robes, I exited the restroom and saw Jason checking me out as I left.

"If you wore the mask - I wouldn't believe you were something other than Fallen, Michael."

"Ah, just focus on getting it done. Oh yes - if you don't mind... I want to keep these at your place." I held up my robes.

"Hm... put it in the storeroom." I headed over to the storeroom, placed it in a corner, hid it with some items, and left. Hopefully, no one will know.

"I've done it. I'm going to get some rest..." Until I remembered the kids again.

"Oh, fuck me. I left the kids alone - I can't rest till I see them safe again."

"Unless the shelter you gave them is very obvious, nothing should happen."

"It isn't, but the dark lord knows of its existence and location now. I cannot let them disappear from me!"

"How long will you take then?" Jason was still working on the mask.

"I'll be quick, hopefully." I tried to call upon my sword and shield, but they converted into daggers concealed within my shirt sleeves. Weapon adaptation? I never heard of it.

"I might be just done when you get back. Safe journeys ahead, Michael." I opened a wormhole back to the cube interior.

"What's happening? Why is it so quiet? Where's Michael, or Elise?" I exited to hear questions... doubts... crying.

"They're probably gone. Shouldn't have trusted -"

"Don't you say that, Zane! They could save me, so they won't die that fast!" Mira. Letting out a sigh, I opened the door to their room.

"HOLY FU-" Mira exclaimed.

"And I thought you all were taken away. Seems like it isn't."

"And we thought you were a Protector? What's with the getup?"

"I... don't wish to explain it to you now. Just... know that I'm still me... whether or not I have changed. Now, do you know how is everyone else doing?"

"They aren't falling sick, they're doing fine, but we're gonna run out of everything soon if we keep on eating the way we do."

"If only..." I muttered. If only they were Fallen. They wouldn't need to be like this.

But even if they were, or if I made them, can I turn them back?

Can I..? I can't. That's the thing.

"I'll carry you guys along with me, that's settled. I'm gonna leave the cube, and carry it with me. I'm going places, I can't leave you guys alone here." They nodded in approval, and I left the cube, to pick it up and find it attached to a necklace. I wore the cube around my neck and went back to the shop.

By then, the sun was just starting to set.

"Hey kiddo, what took you so long?" Jason asked as he held up my mask and passed it to me, "Try it on."

"You sounded weird back there." I took it and examined the mask.

"It's what happens when everyone smells you, Michael. You will never pass as Fallen until you become one." I hear Jason say as I finished checking, and started to wear it.

"That can't be..."

"I can give you an easy way out, that will hurt you less." He offered, his tone getting serious.

I started getting defensive, "I still have to be one of you, I cannot break the code again."

"Well... kiddo, you have no need to break that code of yours. I will break it for you." Holding a vial of red liquid with black accents, Jason's real intentions had been revealed to me.

He was silently encouraging my transition into the Fallen world and using this chance to turn me.

"You're really unlucky, Protector. Xandor told me you would come here. Indeed, what he said was true. Now, Xandor's orders shall be done... to turn the last of the rebels. The last of the Light." I backed up my step, but he was closing in on me. I eventually hit a wall, and I tried to dodge him, but he grabbed me by my hair, unzipping the part of the mask hiding my lips, forcing my mouth open. Lacking rest, I indeed had no strength to resist, especially with all the wormhole travelling...

"You shall drink this, Protector... Xandor wishes to tell you that it will be harmless. All you will get is just a change... in how you live." He poured the contents down my throat, and I held whatever I could in my mouth - instead, my tongue and gums couldn't stand the taste and the stinging pain it gave, and I had no choice but to send it down my throat.

I could only feel something burning in me. The change it gave. A burning desire I couldn't figure out. I closed my eyes, thinking this was all unreal. The tears fell, and the thunder roared in the distance. The sound of raindrops filled my ears. The flashes of lightning pierced through my eyelids - I could see that flash of white even though my eyes were closed.

The pain receded soon after. I reopened my eyes, only to have a momentary vision in red and black before returning to normal.

"I... what was that... my vision... something is wrong..." I held my face together, only to feel the leather of my mask instead.

"It's complete. The perfect specimen. I officially conclude this experiment... successful." I pulled off my mask, to see his grin turn into a face of shock.

Must be the look on my face due to the anger that had built up. I dug my nails into his neck as I pulled him off the ground, his facial expression now pleading me to just let him stand upright.

"You... you've turned me. Have YOU?!" I saw myself in the mirror, my eyes blazing red, just like them.

"Oh, for the love of Fallen, I was just carrying out my experiment! Xandor just recommended you, that's all!" He shrugged.

"F.... fuck you!" I was no longer a Protector. I had broken the very last rule of the code - which was the most important one I lived by... till now - Once a Protector, always a Protector unless turned into a Fallen, where you will no longer be regarded as one of us.

And the reason why they will not defend Protectors who fall was due to the simple reason that they were already tainted - the Fallen influence was like a disease, once you turn, you eventually inherit their traits. You will never be fully pure again.

My hands dug so hard into Jason's neck, it drew blood from it. The burning desire I felt from earlier grew even stronger once I saw the blood flow.

I am not a vampire, right? Why am I so tempted to have it? What's this desire I have?

I couldn't fight it. It felt like hunger. As if I could die if I did not satisfy it. I wanted to know what it was. I wanted to suppress the desire. I hated it the more I felt it.

Before I could fathom my next move, I was biting off parts of Jason's neck. Not just sucking his blood - actual parts of his neck...

What have I done? Why am I doing this? Jason is a person, nevertheless. Why? I had given myself even more reason to believe I was a Fallen now.

I fell to the floor, moving away from Jason as quick as I could. My red eyes blazed brighter now, and if I actually saw correctly...

I was actually smiling, some of my leftover drool dripping down my chin. I wiped it off immediately and wore my mask to restrain myself. I indeed... look like a Fallen.

And even more so... since I have turned.

"Hey... don't forget to thank me... for turning you into a ghoul... one of the new high-class Fallen that Xandor will make... you are one of the first..." Jason struggled to make his words clear, but as I looked at him once more, his wound was slowly healing.

"You..." I tried to form a sentence, but Jason steadily stood up and adjusted his neck. Pulsing red tentacles escaped his back and pinned me to the wall. His fingers running over his face, Jason's grin was like a Cheshire cat's.

"Like what you see, Michael?" Oh, God. What have I summoned upon me?

"You have this too, you know? It's a beautiful sight when you realise how it belongs to you alone... too bad, I wonder how it will be triggered? That I don't know... but I would like to see it!" I'm so tired... why is everything happening when I have no strength to face it? My daggers, they're not appearing from my sleeves...

"Looks like it didn't go exactly as planned, did it, Michael?" Elise? Time seemed to stop in its tracks as she appeared.

"You again?" She was comfortably settled directly on top of one of Jason's tentacles, looking at Jason with intent.

"I can teach you how to get these just like he did. It's a matter of whether you want to. However, Arista will not be here for you."

"This... this monstrosity I'm going to let loose, will it consume my entirety?"

"Good question, Michael - but it will consume you such that you go insane, lose the ability to think properly - all you think of is to get more of it. And it will be triggered... if you eat people like yourself... ghouls, of which Jason is one. You just ate parts of him. You have already started that process."

"I... impossible..." I looked at my hands, stained with blood.

"I think you need to recompose yourself, Michael. Don't dwell on it, for you will forever live in fear. I still want to repeat that you need to kill Jason, however. He knows who you are... knows too much... and I have to break it to you... you have to cannibalise further."

"I can't kill a person who was still human!" I protested, but Elise could only look at me with sadness, as she pointed out, "He's in you now. He might do the job for you instead... Michael, don't stop him. It will make you feel worse." With that, time started moving again, and Jason was about to stab me in the stomach with his tentacles...

"I didn't know you would attack such useless places, Jason." I had a newfound way of thinking, my senses were in overdrive, and I could now see that he was now starting to fear me.

"What's wrong, Jason? " He could only point at himself as I see that a tentacle different from his own had pierced through his heart and his mind. I looked around...

They were coming from me.

"I see... then, I'll let you have a taste." I plunged one down his throat, suffocating him.

"Mm..hrm..." I can't make out the words. Oh, nevermind that. I'll just save him the trouble.

I kind of like this, I can now understand how Elise turned sadistic so quickly -

Elise? Fuck, I told myself I need to keep in mind who I was, and here I am being a sadistic guy! I can't break that vow to myself again.

Right, when I lost all that feeling, the tentacles receded and now Jason was back in full force.

"What happened back there, Michael? Protector genes stopping you from dealing the final blow?" Jason's brazen laughter was about to send me into a frenzy.

"You really need help, Michael. Just finish the job, and repent later. It's for the greater good. You don't want anyone else to know that you're a Protector willingly turned Fallen who is in their midst waiting to strike, do you?" Elise spoke into my ear, as her eyes glowed ever so brightly, however... I felt a sharp object touch me. Jason's mouth was frozen in place.

"Devour him, Michael. Or I'll make you do it. Mwahahahaha!" It was Elise's dark sword, grazing my neck.

"Poor Michael... you really need to get some brain re-engineering the next time I see you. If Jason is still not killed, Xandor will know of your whereabouts... he might just... violate your little girl. And all of her previous self, if she has fallen any further... will only be memories."

The rage. The anger. The feeling of vengeance.

"Oh, seems like you're all fired up. Use it, Michael. Take him down. Erase him."

"And now I'll savour the taste of my first Protector!" For once, Arista deployed, and I sliced his tentacles away.

"I'm a rare species, Jason. I don't give myself away for free. But I might want to savour you - for you are the first of many." With that, I gouged out his flesh, piece by piece. The blood on my hands now encouraged me. The more I saw flesh, the more I wanted it, despite its disgusting taste. Jason's scent... a ghoul's scent... I might just have another one for my next meal just like him.

"N...nooooarrghhH!" Was Jason's last words. My tentacles dissected him, he will no longer regenerate.

"And you were saying, Jason? " I asked, only to be greeted with an empty space where Jason once was. I snapped back to reality, realising I had murdered him.

"What have I done!?" I stared hard at myself in the mirror, I was panting hard, but the mirror seemed to twist my facial expression... into a malicious smile.

"That was nice..." I licked my lips, for which I had no answer to how I'm doing this with absolutely almost no remorse.

"At least Jason's out of the picture now... other Michael." It had to be another part of me. It can't be me.

"More... Michael. More..." My eye blazed bright red again, as my tentacle shattered the mirror.

"Just what in the hell is this made out of?!" I manipulated it to move to my arm's level, and I tried crushing it. Instead, my hand ached.

What in actual... I called Arista to stab it, but the daggers ended up with broken blades. Arista was broken... This is what I have become? Xandor... if he continues making people turn into these...

I rushed out into the rain, the lightning and thunder relentlessly torturing me.

"This can't be happening, no!" Firstly, I turned into a Fallen, then murdered a person, then find out I am about to go insane and how I'm now encouraging the world's destruction!

"Elise... why are you so far away... why can't I reach you? Tell me, Elise!" I fell to my knees, my clothing now soaked in water from the rain.

"I can't live without you..." My chest started to ache, and I saw the cube moving on its own. What would the kids think of me now? A madman? A lunatic? A monster?

I couldn't let them see any more of my current state, a tear falling from my left eye, it collected on the leather of my mask.

"I... will do my crying in the rain..." I removed my mask and buried my face in my hands, still kneeling right outside the shop.

"Cry it out, Michael... let it all out." A warm hand rested on my shoulder.

"E...Elise?"

Author's Note

I really have a problem. Ever since I finished chapter 22, I have a crazy temptation to write more sadistic chapters, even when the person itself isn't actually sadistic, to begin with. I guess I just harmed Michael in the process when writing, but it ended pretty well.

Got to add the feels right there. Thank me later.