AUTHOR'S POV      

~evening before Hawaii trip~

It's been an interesting three weeks for Larry and Laurent. From the moment Eleni uttered the word 'Hawaii' Larry has been, well, off. He's been extremely distant and barely conversing with Laurent other than business since they've been working again. Even going back into the studio to finish the songs they started recording has been different because Larry has requested that they go separately and whenever Laurent would protest Larry quickly shut it down. Laurent isn't sure what to think or even how to feel for that matter but there's no point in trying to talk to Larry about it because he always receives the same answer, "I'm fine Laurent". There's only so much of that Laurent could hear before he decided to let it go and let Larry come to him if/when he's ready to talk about it. What Laurent doesn't know is that Larry is so determined to not fall victim to the blissful memories of Fiji and being on an island which will remind him of it all that for the first few nights after finding out about Hawaii Larry cried himself to sleep. They would start out as soft tears but the more he thought about it the harder he cried. It would get so bad that he had to grab a pillow and cry directly into it in an attempt to muffle any sound threatening to come out. The following mornings resulted in headaches and puffy eyes causing him to stay in his room until he felt presentable enough as to not cause concern with Laurent. Around the fourth morning of waking up in such conditions he decided that enough was enough and it was time to do some damage control so he threw himself into dating Kelsey. He did consider that seeing more of her could be seen as using her thus giving new meaning to the phrase 'desperate times call for desperate measures' but he quickly let go of that because he remembered that they do have things in common so he does like her. He just hoped that by spending more time with her deeper feelings would emerge. Of course he's completely aware of how hard this is for Laurent. He sees the look on his face whenever he announced that he was going out with her. Laurent's heart aches for sure but he doesn't try to stop him...he can't. He has to remind himself that it's not only necessary but that he also encouraged it. On the flip side, it does cause concern with Larry when Laurent doesn't stop him. It makes him wonder if Laurent's affection for him is slowly dissipating. The very thought of it frightens him but then he's reminded of the reality. There's nothing he can do about it and he knows that ultimately it's for the best...  

Kelsey: "Larry? Larry"?

Larry: "Oh. I'm sorry Kelsey. What's up"?   

Kelsey: "It's time for dessert. It's my homemade apple pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream".

Larry: "Thank you. It looks great".

Kelsey: *smile* "I hope you like it". 

Larry goes in for his first bite and is pleasantly surprised. Not only is Kelsey a great cook she's also a great baker. He loves how the crust is light and flaky and how the whole thing literally melts in his mouth... 

Larry: "This is really good". 

Kelsey: "I'm glad you're enjoying it".

Larry: "Yeah. And thank you for dinner. Everything was amazing". 

Kelsey: "Thank you. Wow, that means a lot coming from a chef such as yourself".

Larry: "Welcome. I mean it".

After one more smile at each other they continue eating dessert while enjoying conversation. Once done Kelsey washes the dishes as Larry helps by drying them and putting them away. Kelsey is all smiles and of course still in shock that she's dating the famous Larry Bourgeois. She's completely taken by how sweet he is...and the fact that he's such a gentleman doesn't hurt either. She can only hope that all this time spent together will lead into something more... 

Kelsey: "Thanks for helping me with the dishes".

Larry: "No problem. So what do you want to do now"?

Kelsey: "We can watch a movie".

Larry: "Oki. As long as it's not a scary movie".

Kelsey: "How about an action movie"?

Larry: *smile* "Perfect".

They go into the living room and Larry takes his place on the couch while Kelsey pops in 'Bad Boys'. After several minutes into it and a few laughs Kelsey is slowly but surely getting closer to him. He looks at her out the corner of his eye as he's unsure of what her exact plans are but...when he feels her hand on his cheek to turn his face toward hers he becomes well aware. They lock lips and share a soft kiss before Kelsey becomes greedy and goes deeper. Larry obliges her...but this moment doesn't feel like he thought it would. Here he is with a beautiful woman who's made it very clear that she's really into him and even took the time to prepare a great dinner that included a dessert made from scratch yet this kiss feels so...empty. Nonetheless, he goes with the flow to see if it will change. He even tries taking the lead by removing his shirt and pulling her on top of him to which she's very appreciative for because by being on top she's more in control. She moves her kisses from his mouth to his cheeks, then to his neck where she spends the most time. Larry just gazes up at the ceiling as he feels her lips on his skin and as her hands rub all over his abs. It's been several minutes since this erotic session started and all Larry can ask himself is, "why am I not hard"? No sooner than he asks himself that question Kelsey's hand is rubbing over it thinking that it will be hard too but imagine her surprise that it isn't. Larry realizes he has to stop this so he lightly touches her shoulders and gently pushes her back so he can get up... 

Larry: "I'm sorry Kelsey but...I can't do this". 

Deeply saddened as she watches him put his shirt back on...

Kelsey: "Did I do something wrong"?

Larry: "No. I just can't do this. It's not you...it's me. I'm sorry".

Before she can say anything else he's bending down and kissing her on the cheek...

Larry: "Goodbye".

And just like that Larry is out the door. Now in his car he cranks it up...but he just sits there for a minute to reflect on the last three weeks and all of the emotions that went along with them. Feeling like a prisoner in his own home for being unable to come out of his room in anticipation of running into Laurent and looking into his intoxicating eyes...feeling that the only way he can subdue his feelings was to spend time with Kelsey who's an overall great person but deep down he knows this isn't the way to get over Laurent for the one and only way that will happen is through time. He takes one more look at Kelsey's place and notices her through the window still sitting on the couch dazed and confused. He whispers as he continues looking at her, "I'm sorry Kelsey. You're gonna find the right one. I know you will". He then blows out a gentle sigh, puts the car in gear and pulls off feeling a plethora of emotions. A part of him can't help but think he led her on...but that was all the more reason why he had to let her know. Of course he's sure there is one person who will be relieved. Seeing Laurent these past few weeks has definitely been hard on him and maybe it will make things easier on him to know that Larry will no longer be seeing her. Then again, how will it possibly help them?  A relationship between the two of them is still something that simply can't be. As he continues to drive the path that leads home he can feel the tears building in his eyes as he contemplates on what to do...  

~meanwhile~

Laurent spent most of the evening in his bed gazing up at the ceiling...his heart in pieces once again at the thought of Larry being out with Kelsey and being unable to do anything about it. He spent several hours gazing before he realized that he hasn't eaten dinner so he's currently in the kitchen. Not having the energy to make a big meal he just decides to make a couple of sandwiches and will have a side of his favorite chips. As he starts to build the sandwiches his mind goes back to Larry's whereabouts and he finds himself slapping the mayo on the bread as he feels a slight agitation that he isn't really surprised he feels. After the sandwiches are made he grabs two handfuls of chips and throws them down on his plate then takes his place at the table to eat with the silence around him consuming his thoughts even more until he hears the front door opening. Larry walks in and is on his way to his room until he sees him...

Larry: *clears throat* "Hey Laurent".

Laurent can't even make eye contact. He just keeps his focus on his food... 

Laurent: "Hey".

Larry: "I'm sorry. I should've cooked before I left so you wouldn't have to eat sandwiches".

Laurent: "It's oki".

Larry hears the anger but also slight pain in his voice and it doesn't take a genius to figure out why. It's in this moment he decides that perhaps he should tell him that it's over with Kelsey so he won't be so down about it. He gulps as he slowly walks over to him... 

Larry: "Um, I know you're mad that I'm with Kelsey so much but...."

Laurent: "Why would I be mad for that Larry"?

Larry: "Laurent you don't have to play this tough guy with me, oki"?

Hearing the sincerity in Larry's voice Laurent brings his head up to connect with him... 

Laurent: *sigh* "Larry I'm just saying. I told you to get her number and go out with her. I mean, it doesn't feel good but we both know it's the right thing to do and...."

Laurent's words stop as he smells Kelsey's scent. He slowly scans Larry up and down using only his eyes then he notices something. Larry will try to get him to finish what he was saying...

Larry: "And what Laurent"?

Larry is completely unaware that Laurent not only smells Kelsey's scent but he's also unaware that he didn't make sure he was completely put back together because his shirt is unevenly buttoned and it's clear, at least to Laurent, that they had more than just a date. Trying to keep his emotions in check... 

Laurent: "Nothing. I...I just hope you had fun".   

Larry is sure he doesn't mean that. He can tell that Laurent is still upset although he tries his best to make it appear that he isn't which is why his original thought of not telling Laurent that Kelsey is no longer in his life went out the window... 

Larry: "Laurent, listen. You have to know that something happened tonight. I...."

Laurent: "I already know what it is and like you said a few nights ago, it doesn't matter, oki? I said that we have to move on so that's what you're doing. You don't need to explain anything".

By this point Laurent loses his appetite so he stands up and throws the remainder of his food away...  

Larry: "Laurent, you don't...."

Laurent: "I said I don't want to hear it Larry. I just want to go to sleep, oki"? 

Larry is in complete shock of how stubborn Laurent is being...but his night was emotional enough and he simply doesn't have the strength to deal with it... 

Larry: "Oki. I'll just see you in the morning when we leave for Hawaii".   

Laurent: "Perfect. Good night". 

Laurent places his dishes in the sink...too frustrated to wash them and storms off to his room. Once there he plops down on his bed and tries his best to suck back tears at what he just knows in his heart happened. The irony of it all is he knew that this was a possibility considering he's spent so much time with her...but that certainly doesn't make it any easier and to now know that they 'did the do' just makes it worse. He starts to feel tears build up in his eyes and the moment he feels them falling down his temples he blows out a sigh of frustration, brings the cover of his head and silently cries himself to sleep. Meanwhile, Larry is standing in the same spot...his heart sad because he really doesn't want him to think that he slept with Kelsey but he's also frustrated that Laurent is refusing to listen to him so he just decides he will let him think whatever he wants to think. It's been a long night, it's late and they have to get up early the following morning. He turns off the light then he makes the solemn walk down the hall...stopping in front of Laurent's door and pressing his ear to it only to hear silence. He drops his head for a moment before going into his room and once he's in bed he gazes at the ceiling just as Laurent did...curious yet nervous about what lies ahead...  

~morning~

*knock on door*

Larry: "Laurent"? *silence* "Laurent"?

Laurent's eyes flutter open to the sweet sound of Larry's voice. He looks out of his window and is relieved to see that the day greets him with a beautiful sunshine accompanied by a clear and beautiful sky. It's just what he needs to see to feel better about how his evening ended... 

Larry: "Laurent? You awake"?

Laurent: "Yeah, I'm awake".

Larry: "Good. Well we have to leave soon so I'm going to make us a light breakfast. You should get ready".

Laurent: "Oki". 

The subsequent silence is an indication that Larry is already making his way towards the kitchen to get started. Laurent, still feeling his heart flutter at the sound of Larry's beautiful voice, slowly stands up to gather his things and head for the shower. Just like Larry is nervous he's also nervous about what this trip to Hawaii will bring them... 

Larry is feasting on a breakfast sandwich when he sees Laurent bring his bags around the corner and place them on the floor beside his. He almost chokes when Laurent walks towards the kitchen clad in a tucked in black tank top, black pants with a belt buckled at his waist. Larry can't help but watch him as he walks over to the stove to make his sandwich and pour himself a glass of orange juice. When Laurent turns back around Larry quickly goes back to his breakfast...trying to pretend he wasn't caught up in all of Laurent's splendor... 

Larry: "It sounds like we will be really busy in Hawaii".

Laurent: *clears throat* "Yeah we are".

Larry then notices Laurent's voice sounds scratchy even though he tried to clear it before he spoke. When he looks up he also notices Laurent's eyes are slightly red and puffy... 

Larry: "Laurent, you oki"?

Laurent: "I'm fine. Why you ask"?

Larry: "Your eyes are red like you were crying". *pause* "Did you cry"?

Laurent: "No. I didn't cry. I just didn't sleep good so I'm still tired".

Larry is certain this isn't the case but when he attempts to bring it up he's interrupted...

Larry: "Laurent, um...."

*knock on the front door*

Laurent: "I'll get it".

Larry nods in slight frustration because he's ready to put an end to Laurent's worrying about the previous evening but when he finds out who's at the door he realizes it won't be right now...

Laurent: "It's the driver. We have to go".

Larry doesn't realize that so much time has passed so he has to quickly get up and make sure everything is turned off so they can leave. He will try again in transition to the airport because by them being in separate rooms and having non-stop work lined up he isn't sure when there will be another opportunity...  

After locking the apartment up and loading their bags into the trunk they take their place in the backseat. Laurent pulls out his shades and put them on...the perfect complement to his all black attire and presses his back into the seat cushion only to hear Larry's voice seconds later...

Larry: "Laurent, I know you said that I don't have to...."

He's interrupted again by another sound...Laurent's phone ringing... 

Laurent: "Just a minute Larry".

Larry nods his head...completely oblivious to who's calling Laurent but when he hears, "Hey Ashley" while also hearing a smile in his voice his heart drops into his stomach... 

Laurent: *smile* "Yeah we're on the way to Hawaii. How are you doing"?

The more he talks to her the more discouraged Larry is. It's hard to believe that this is the same person who was upset about him going out with Kelsey so much and now he's smiling and enjoying his conversation with Ashley. He just drops his head before slowly lifting it up to look out of his window... 

Laurent: *smile* "I'll talk to you soon, oki? Bye".

After releasing the call he looks over at Larry...

Laurent: "You have to tell me something"?  

Still looking out the window....

Larry: "No". *pause* "It doesn't matter now".

Laurent gazes at him for another second before shrugging his shoulders then turning to look out his own window...unaware that this act is all for nothing...  

 ~airport~

After meeting up with Eleni and checking in everyone is sitting while waiting to board the plane...minimum conversation as they tap on their phones. Larry is still upset about the car ride over but from the moment they got out the car Larry instantly took notice of Laurent's slow movement...almost as if his energy has been completely drained so now his failed attempt at telling Laurent doesn't matter because he's also sniffing a lot as well as coughing and sneezing to which Eleni hands him a Kleenex...   

Larry: "You're getting sick Laurent".

Laurent: "I'll be fine Larry. Don't worry".

Larry: "Well I am worried and it's a long flight". 

Laurent: "So I'll just sleep on the way. I'm sure I'll feel better".

Larry pauses then simply nods because all he can do is hope that he will...   

*****

Now comfortable in their seats with Eleni not too far away all they have to do is sit back and wait for the plane to speed down the runway and soar into the sky. Larry has his earphones in ready to listen to some smooth sounds as he searches his playlist. He looks over at Laurent who's already nodding his head to which he softly smiles...but internally he's worried about his condition. The moment he goes back to searching he hears the flight attendant informing them of take off he finally decides on something so he sits back to try and relax. He isn't able to hear the engine rev up but he can tell when they lifted off the ground because of how smooth and light the plane feels. Five minutes into it he feels Laurent place his head on his shoulder so he responds by laying his head on top for extra comfort...that comfort will be short-lived because he instantly feels Laurent's forehead burning up and it frightens him. He pushes the button to alert the flight attendant who responds quickly...   

*****

Flight Attendant: *smile* "Hi. How can I help you"? 

Larry: "Yeah do you have any medicine for fevers? My twin is sick".

Flight Attendant: "Sure. I'll be right back".

Larry: "Thank you so much".

Flight Attendant: "My pleasure". 

Larry is so anxious she can't come back fast enough for him...but when he finally sees her coming back down the aisle he's feeling less antsy. She hands him a travel size pack of Aspirin and a bottled water...  

Flight Attendant: "Here you go. I hope he feels better".

Larry: "Thank you so much". 

Flight Attendant: *smile* "You're welcome. Buzz me again if you need anything else".

Larry smiles and nods then proceeds to softly wake Laurent up...  

Larry: "Laurent, wake up". *pause* "Come on baby wake up. You need to take this".

Laurent is moaning slightly as he slowly moves his head from side to side. He then opens his eyes and looks over at Larry... 

Laurent: "My stomach hurts Larry", he whimpers.

Larry's heart sinks at the vulnerable state Laurent is in so he's hoping the pills will help immediately... 

Larry: "You have a fever too so please take these. It should make you feel better".

Laurent takes the pills from Larry's hand and pops them in his mouth followed by a swig of water... 

Larry: "You can put your head back on my shoulder and go back to sleep, oki"?

Laurent smiles weakly then does exactly as Larry said. If they weren't confined to their seats Larry would have held onto Laurent and rocked him to sleep just so Laurent can feel at ease. Although he can't do that he will bring him comfort the best way he can by placing his head back on Laurent's...staying connected to him as much as possible until they finally land in Hawaii... 

~hotel~ 

Eleni: "Since Laurent isn't feeling well you two should have a seat and I will check us in".

Larry: "Oki. Come on Laurent. Let's go sit down". 

Larry stays very close to Laurent as he looks like he's going to topple over any moment now. All he can do is rub his back and have him sip on some water as they wait. Several moments pass and Larry feels the need to look up and the moment he does Eleni is motioning her hand for him to come over... 

Larry: "I think something is wrong. I'm going over there to talk to Eleni. I'll be right back". 

Laurent: "Oki". 

Larry gives him a reassuring smile then stands up and quickly walks over... 

Eleni: "There was a mix up with your room. Apparently they thought the reservation was for Larry and Lauren Bourgeois, not Laurent Bourgeois, so they put you in the honeymoon suite".

Larry: "The honeymoon suite? You mean, only one bed"? 

Eleni: "Right". 

Larry quickly looks at the clerk...

Larry: "You can't fix it"?

Receptionist: "I apologize sir but the hotel is booked. We're really sorry for the inconvenience". 

Larry tries his best to keep his cool. He was just getting used to the fact that they're going to be on another island. When they were en route to the hotel he noticed the beautiful palm trees, the crystal blue water and the beautiful, lightly colored sand and as he expected the first thing that came to his mind was Fiji. He was reminded of how awestruck he was at the beauty of that island and this is pretty much deja vu so he wasn't surprised at his feelings...but he took solace in the fact that at least this time he and Laurent will be in separate rooms to make things easier...now this. He starts to get angry but then he looks over at Laurent who appears weaker so he just takes a deep breath to relax...

Larry: "Well if you can't do anything then we don't have a choice. My twin doesn't feel good so just give me the keys". 

Receptionist: "Certainly. I apologize again sir but your first night will be on us".

Larry: "Thank you. And can you please have someone bring some tea and cold medicine for my brother"? 

Receptionist: "Of course".   

Eleni: "Well I'm going to get settled in my room. Call me if either of you need anything, ok"? 

Larry nods then walks over to Laurent and breaks the news to him... 

Laurent: "It will be oki bebe. Like you said, we don't have a choice so let's just go". 

Larry agrees and they head to their room. Larry is relieved that Laurent can finally lay down but his heart is also thumping in anticipation of what's behind that door. After all, this isn't a typical room and now in front of it he takes a deep breath, slides the key card in and pushes the door open. For the most part it's a typical suite in that there's a sofa and love seat, a kitchen as well as a den area...but the further they walk in the more they realize why it's called a honeymoon suite. When they look to the left they see a jacuzzi with candles lined around. To the right is a set of french doors that lead out to the balcony and on the bed are strategically placed rose petals. They also notice various paraphernalia such as furry handcuffs, condoms and lube but also more romantic type of things such as chocolate and strawberries. Their eyes widen in shock then Larry slowly turns to look at Laurent who jokingly says, "I see they think ahead here". Larry is aware that Laurent is trying to play it off by making a joke out of it and as much as he wants to ignore it he can't help but laugh. Laurent joins him in laughter. Now there's a knock on the door and Larry knows it's the items he requested so he quickly walks over to answer it. When he turns around and walks back over Laurent is already in the bed...  

Larry: "Here's some more medicine. Your tea and water will be right here".

Laurent: "Oki. Thank you". 

Larry smiles in reply then watches Laurent take his medicine and get even more comfortable... 

Larry: "I'm going to watch TV in the other room but if you need anything else call me". 

Laurent smiles and nods then closes his eyes. Larry watches him until he's sure he's sound asleep then makes his way to the couch to watch TV...eventually drifting off to sleep with the last thought on his mind being that Hawaii has officially started... 

~evening~

They had been sleeping peacefully for the last several hours but Larry's tummy growling woke him up so he ordered food and he's keeping Laurent's warm in the oven until he's ready to eat. Islands always seem to be even more beautiful and magical at night and since they have a balcony Larry decides to go out and enjoy the view. The moment he steps out and feels the cool air hit his skin he's instantly relaxed. He relishes in the sound of the ocean waves nearby but eventually feels two strong arms wrap around his waist and a sweet voice in his ear... 

Laurent: "Thank you for getting me the tea and medicine".

Larry: "You don't have to thank me for taking care of you Laurent. I tell you that all the time".

Laurent: "I know but thank you anyway".

Larry: *smile* "Welcome. Now go back to bed".

Laurent: "But I feel much better bebe and I want to look at the stars with you".

Larry: *smile* "Fine Laurent", he whispers. 

There are a few moments of silence as they both enjoy the starry night. Then.... 

Laurent: "Aww look. It's the brightest star I've ever seen".

Larry's eyes instantly begin darting all over the sky trying to find it eventually asking, "where Laurent"? Nothing could have prepared him for the answer. With a sweet and delicate whisper...

Laurent: "Right here in my arms".

Larry: "Laurent", he whimpers.  

Then Laurent does something that Larry totally didn't see coming. He starts singing in his ear...but the song chosen completely floors him. It's a soft, sweet melody of "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" and Larry's heart is fluttering at the sound of Laurent's beautiful, melodic voice in his ear. He places his arms on top of Laurent's as he continues to sing...tears building up in his eyes with each passing second then slowly falling. Eventually... 

Larry: "That was so beautiful". 

Before Laurent can even respond Larry is turning around and embracing him...

Larry: "So much Laurent. Just so, so much". 

Laurent knows exactly what that means...

Laurent: "I know bebe". *pause* "I feel the same way".

---------------------   

A/N: So what does this 'so, so much' mean? Hope everyone enjoyed and I just want to say thank you to everyone who offered condolences and said prayers for me and my family during our time of grief. We're doing well. I also want to thank everyone for your patience and I promise the next update won't take long. Love you guys. :)