"Yeah and then the khan worms caught on fire and flew into the air. And then Alfie's sleeve caught on fire."

"Guys you realize one of us is doing this right? And it's not me because I wasn't there and it's not Alfie because why would he catch his own sleeve on fire? Okay nevermind He would totally do that but witches ha-"

"Warlock!"

"Have to say something in Latin or something to use magic. So it's one of you three or we're being stalked by a demon with a fondness for fire."

"Jason was glaring at me when my sleeve caught on fire," Alfie pointed out.

"But he's the normal one," I said.

"I thought we established that normal was a myth?" Asked Ethan.

"That was when we thought being not-normal meant being . . . Like crazy weird fandom obsessed nerds, right now when I say normal I mean like being a human being who does not have supernatural powers."

"Well He was the one the demon was holding a knife to and he was the one glaring at Alfie." pointed out Marcey.

"Okay but we know he's human," I pointed out "How does a human being get fire powers?"

"Oh and the Khan worms flew into the sky so he also has telekinesis," Ethan added.

"Okay but how would Jason even get telekinesis?" I asked.

"Probably some screwed up force that's messing with all our lives." Marcey muttered.

"And what's with you lately?" I asked "You're just really mad lately."

"Maria that's Marcey," Alfie said "Her uncle is satan and she's always very very angry at the world."

"Am I the only one noticing this?" I thought we knew eachother better than this.

"Well maybe it's because I'm stuck in the car all day and trying to kill things and we keep screwing up and now the FBI is probably trying to find us along with the demons that we ran away to hunt in the first place and now things keep SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTING and we have no freakin idea why!" She shouted. There was a long period of silence.

"Anything weird happening in the surrounding towns?" I asked.

"I'll look for something to kill." said Jason. "Ooooh! Some guy got impaled. The news said it looked like a narwhal horn."

"A narwhal?" I repeated "That doesn't really sound like our kind of thing."

"Four guys, In the same spot every single night."

"It's a serial killer."

"Hoof prints were found in the area."

"Are you saying there's a violent murderous unicorn?"

"It's worth checking out."

"And if it turns out to be a crazy human?"

"Maria I'm half angel," Marcey said "Alfie has magic and Ethan would have no difficulty ripping a humans throat out, narwhal horn or not."

"Fine let's check it out." I gave in. "Where to?"

:::time skip brought to you by a girrafelant:::

"That's a unicorn," said Jason.

"Didn't Sam and Dean say they weren't real?"

"Well there was a point when Dean told Sam angels weren't real," I pointed out.

"But that's a UNICORN" Alfie shouted. The unicorn turned towards us at the loud noise. Then it charged. Marcey pulled out her gun.

"MARCEY!"

"WHAT?"

"STOP!"

"WHY?"

"IT'S A FREAKIN UNICORN!"

"IT'S TRYING TO IMPALE US!"

"IT'S A UNICORN!"

"WHO! FUCKING! CARES!?" each word was punctuated with a bullet. The unicorn turned and ran.

"I think it just farted glitter."

"Yup."

:::time skip brought to you by Tom Bombadil:::

"There's too much lore," I slammed the book down on the table.

"And for all we know this isn't even a unicorn," Jason added "There was that one in the clown episode that was made from a spell."

"It could be a Tulpa," said Alfie.

"Is there a counter-spell for a Tulpa?" I asked.

"Not that I know about."

"What if we try to kill it and get cursed or something?" I asked "like in Harry Potter."

"That was from drinking a unicorns blood and it was a fictional book about good witches and wizards."

"Yeah because those don't exist in the real world." Alfie said sarcastically.

"Do you have magic schools where eleven year olds get sent if they have magic powers?"

"Woman, I'm not British how should I know!" Alfie threw his hands up in exasperation. Marcey threw a book at him.

"The reason people get cursed are because they are these wonderful kind pure creatures of love and purity," said Marcey. "This ones stabbing people to death. I think it's safe to say we aren't going to get cursed."

"Okay but we still don't know how to kill it," I argued.

"Well let's race in blindly and hope for the best," Alfie stood up. I grabbed his arm and pulled him back into the chair.

"Alfie would you be serious for once?"

"No." He said.

"I have an entire stack of books I could throw at you," Marcey threatened.

"I care not young peasant-" another book hit Alfie squarely in the face. "Ow!"

"I'm calling Sam and Dean to see if there's anything in the bunker about unicorns." I said. I went outside the library and pulled out my phone, picking one of the aliases. They were all the Winchesters or Cas anyway.

"Hello" it was Deans voice on the other end.

"Hey it's Maria, what do you know about unicorns?"

"You're joking right?" Dean asked.

"Nope Dean we are hunting a real live unicorn."

"Unicorns aren't real."

"Yeah, tell that to the thing that tried to skewer us last night."

"It could've been something else." Dean pointed out.

"Yeah but honestly most people, when trying to create a weapon of destruction, don't think unicorn. Unless of course they're the evil clown pizza restaurant employee."

"I once ran into a giant depressed talking teddy bear. People are weird."

"Would you just check in the library under U?"

"I'll call you back if we find anything." Dean gave in. "Any luck finding the demon?"

"Well it found us once but we didn't kill it." I said.

"What happened?" He sounded concerned.

"Well we aren't sure how exactly but it's meat suit caught fire and it ran off."

"On fire?"

"Yeah. Just spontaneously combusts out of no where."

"And you have no idea why?"

"Not really."

"Okay . . . Well I'm going to look up unicorns now. Good luck."

"K thanks."

:::time skip brought to you by a mini Minotaur:::

We kept researching and it was an hour before Dean called back.

"Ok there is literally nothing about unicorns because they aren't real."

"You told Sam the same about angels."

"Ok well there's stuff about angels in the bunker but there is nothing about unicorns. I'm telling you it's a tulpa."

"Whatever. Thanks for trying." I hung up. "There's nothing in the bunker."

"The suns going down." Ethan said.

"Yeah. We can't just let it kill somebody." I reasoned.

"Well how hard can this be?"

:::Time skip brought to you by Frank the elephant:::

"THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA!"

"WELL ALFIE WAS THE ONE WHO JINXED US!"

See when we tried to shoot it the bullet didn't work. It just bounced right off. However it did anger the unicorn. We were being chased by an angry pony with a built in weapon.

"That's it I'm done." Ethan turned around. His eyes turned color and his nails and teeth grew longer and sharper. He lunged at the unicorn, knocking it over. He raised his claws and cut off its horn.

He got up and the unicorn didn't move. It was dead.

"How the heck did you know that was going to work?"

"Well I didn't know it would kill it but I figured the main concern was, you know, impaling us, so I clawed off the horn."

"You know it could've just trampled you right?"

"You know the only thing that can kill me is a silver right?"

"Doesn't mean it can't break your bones."

"I did just save everyone else's life. So you think we're cursed now?"

"Ethan we were already cursed."

A/N
Hey peoples!

Just killed a unicorn . . .

Yeah.

Was this chapter to weird for you guys?

Oh wait nevmind speaking to the supernatural fandom sorry.

Yeah well I'm trying to write more.

My brother is now making a Marvel Freak Squad book and it should be up by the time I post the next chapter. I'll tell you when it is though.

LURV CHU ALL!!!