I stared at it, almost afraid to read it. Emily had been the one who convinced me to start keeping a journal. It would come in handy later if I learned to write things down, she'd said. My writing kept me sane, even if I hadn't done it in a while. I owed her so much.

This one must have been one she'd just started. The pages weren't full and the first entry was dated in September. These were her last thoughts in the weeks before she died. I took a deep breath and started to read.

September 09, 2007

Well, old friend, Dad gave me my own Book of Shadows today. He says anything I write about the Coven needs to go in it from now on. It's beautiful, bound in velvety soft black leather with my name etched in gold along the top. He had it handmade. It doesn't look that big, but he says when I need more pages, they'll be there. Who am I to judge after some of the things I've seen? If he says they'll be there, well, then I guess they will. He also told me to hide it in a very secure place, that it's for my eyes only. A witch's BOS is sacred and personal. It's also very powerful. If you let others see your innermost thoughts and how you work your magic, you hand them a weapon to use against you. Yup, that's what he said, a weapon. So, I guess I'll have to find a good hiding spot for it.

I will share it with CJ, though. She's my sister and I trust her more than anyone else in the world. She would never use it against me. Besides, how can I not share it with her since she's practically written over half of my spells the last couple of years? She's much better at spelling than I am and she doesn't even realize it. It's only fair that I give her my spells in return for all the help she's given me.

Dad says that I'm not supposed to write anything else about the Coven in my journals, that all my insane ramblings go in the BOS, but I have kept a journal for so long, it's going to be a hard habit to break. How can I not confess everything to you? You're my secret keeper. Don't worry, I'll keep telling you my secrets for a while longer.

September 12, 2007

I'll kill him. How dare he? Who does he think he is? Cheat on me and think I won't find out about it? So dead.

September 15, 2007

Thank the Fates, CJ is a whiz with spells. I have tried for three days straight to get my truth spell to work on Adam. CJ came into my room while I was ranting about my last failed attempt and I asked her what she thought about it. She frowned and rambled off the perfect truth spell. It worked the FIRST time. Why can my spells never work the first time around? Jealous? You betcha.

He was cheating with my best friend. Damn them both. The look of horror on Nora's face when Adam confessed in front of everyone was well worth it. You do not MESS with the JCL and expect to get off scot free. No one is speaking to either of them right now because I'm not speaking to them right now. Thank you, little sister.

September 21, 2007

I know I'm not supposed to write about Coven business in here, but I don't have time to dig out my BOS and I need to sort through this. So, old friend, help me to figure it out.

The Council keeps pressing me to name a successor, but I keep putting it off. I have to make a decision soon, though. Even Dad told me to get a move on. Who should I name as the next Junior Coven Leader? I've thought long and hard, looked at all the candidates and still, I'm hesitant.

Everyone is pushing for Kay to take over. She's a born leader and can command a crowd better than anyone I know, maybe even better than Mr. Martin, her father. Everyone adores her and pretty much follows her lead now, so it wouldn't be too much of a leap for me to chose her. But there's something there in her face that makes me uncomfortable. It's a look she gets, the same look her dad gets, that says she's out for herself and everyone else be damned. Then I feel bad for even thinking it. I know Kay – she's CJ's best friend. Kay is not her father, but I can't shake the feeling that she only lets us see what she wants us to, including CJ. Growing up with the asshole she did must have left scars – hell she gets drunker than sin every weekend. That's her way of coping. CJ tries to keep her out of trouble, but sometimes she looks for it, especially when she's drunk. What kind of trouble could she cause if I gave her the JC?

Mom even agrees that Kay is the best choice. Am I being too paranoid? It's my baby and I don't want to give it to someone who will use it for gain instead of the foundation of trust and service I've built. I want it to rest in the hands of someone who will treat it like the sacred trust of learning it is, someone who will foster the traditions of our people and guide those who seek its shelter and knowledge.

My gut tells me that Kay is the wrong person to lead our apprentices. My dreams are telling me that something big is on the horizon for our Coven and that the leader of the JC will play a major role in it. It's nothing good – my dreams are nightmares. Someone needs to be there for these kids who will protect and lead them through the encroaching darkness. Kay is not that person. She has a little of that darkness on the inside thanks to her dad.

I keep coming back to CJ and not just because she's my sister or because the Bishop's have led the Coven for centuries. CJ doesn't even believe in any of this. Nonsense she calls it. Nonsense. She'll change her tune soon enough. I have good reason to want her to fill my shoes. She's gifted beyond anything I've ever seen. The Elements respond to her even now, before her initiation. They've already deemed her worthy. If she's too hot, a cool breeze will blow around her even in the house or just the opposite if she's cold – the temperature rises. Air and Fire, one to cool and one to warm. She's oblivious to it, but Mom and Dad aren't. Dad just grins and Mom, well, Mom looks...calculating. It's odd, but sometimes I think she has a plan for CJ she's not telling the rest of us, even Dad. That has to be wrong, but that's what my instincts tell me. She's watching her more closely these days. I just don't know why.

Back to CJ. Having that kind of connection to the Elements is beyond rare. Plus she can write a spell like nobody's business. It's so easy for her. They roll off her tongue. What's so funny is she's not even aware of any of it. She finds answers to convince herself it can all be explained away. Just you wait, little sister, you can't explain away a greeting from the Elements when you enter my circle for the first time.

Dad says to listen to what your instincts tell you and my instincts scream CJ. No one else thinks so. They don't see her like I do. She's such a good kid, always taking care of everyone else – that's why she's perfect. She'll take care of the JC the way I do, with love and a firm hand. She'll lead them away from the darkness I see coming.

I can't wait for her initiation. I'll hand the JC over to her then. I know she and Kay always celebrate their birthday together, but a girl's initiation is special, about only her. She shouldn't have to share that with Kay. So I am going to break with tradition and hold little sister's initiation on Halloween, her birthday and Kay's the next weekend. I've got it all planned out. She'll love it. Every time any of us mention it she just rolls her eyes. I can't wait to see the look on her face when the Elements pour through her. If my suspicions are right, then my little sister is meant for far more than just the title of JCL – she's been truly blessed. She's more than any of us could ever hope to be. I'm just glad I'll be here to see it.

Thank you old friend, for helping me to sort through it and make up my mind.

September 28, 2006

I saw someone today. He can't be much older than me, but I don't know, he just kinda felt older. He reminded me of Adam's older brother Clint – the one who's in college. He was watching us from a distance while we were in the meadow. CJ didn't notice him. She gets so wrapped up in her writing I'm surprised she remembers to sleep. He followed us all the way home. I was ready to call the police, but then he just...disappeared. I don't mean he ducked around a corner – he flippin faded before my eyes. Like a ghost. That can't be right.

Who is he and why is he following me?

October 1, 2007

The first of the windows have gone up in the drug store – a silly scene with a black cat chasing a goblin out of the cemetery. I love those windows the Corey's create. They like magic all on their own. We witches are very creative people. Look at me and CJ – I draw and she writes. I did a couple sketches to some of her stories. I plan on submitting them to a few agents – my little sister is talented. She has this incredible imagination and can weave tales of terror that'll have you jumping at your own shadow or make you smile all day remembering the silly story she told.

I saw the boy again. He was in the cemetery. I tried to talk to him, but he was gone before I could catch him. I still don't know how he gets away so fast. He can't be a ghost. I'm a witch, but even I have doubts about some things. He seems too real, too solid. He's watching me. But why?

October 7, 2007

I wish to all the Fates I had never seen him. It can't be true. It can't.

October 11, 2007

Why? Why now? Everything is almost perfect and he shows up to ruin it all. He told us why he's here. The Senior Coven is jumping for joy. I was allowed into the meeting because of my role as JCL and I'll be joining the Coven as soon as CJ takes over.

I want to throw up. It's sick. A curse. Everything they've worked for all these centuries has been about a stupid curse. The thirteenth daughter. It's not true. I refuse to believe it. But he's here – how do we know it's real though? A spell. We need a truth spell to show us if he's real. Even the Senior Coven will have to agree to that before they pledge themselves on this path of destruction.

None of this makes sense. At least now I understand the pledge to protect our secrets with our lives. A curse. It's evil. I need to find out more. They're not going to tell me. Maybe he will.

October 13, 2007

Oh God. No. It's in the book. It's all there. He's there. I didn't believe it before, but it's true. I looked for myself while they were busy. That damned book is guarded better than the crown jewels. So many wards. But it was all there. They're wrong about one thing. They all miscalculated. I have to get them both away from here.

October 15, 2007

Too late. They know about my plan. They know the truth now and they won't let me leave. I have to warn you, little sister. I dare not say anything here – someone might find this besides you. The answers are in my BOS – it's hidden. You know where. Find it.

I'm afraid, Cassie Jayne. So afraid. They're coming and I can't keep you and Kay safe. I begged Mom, but she told me I was being silly. Dad's not home and he's not answering his cell! Why isn't Daddy answering his phone? I need him.

I love you so much, little sister. If I never get to tell you that again, I'm telling you now. I love you until the world cracks – remember when we were kids and cracked Grandpa's globe on Thanksgiving? We swore the dog knocked it over. We promised to love each other then until our world cracked. My world cracked today. I love you.

Please Cassie Jayne, please be safe. Please.

I hear them. Oh God, I hear them. I have to go.

Where are you, Daddy?