Why did I let myself get talked into this shit?

Me: I don't want to do this

Dev: Maggie! Shut up!

Let Remy love you!

Me: Ugh. You're no help.

Me: Kiss Marc for me

Dev: Only if you

kiss Remy first ;)

Dammit. Dev, Penny, even Mickey all want me here. No one has my back on this. Well, no one but Jane ...

Jane: Whore

Jane: Your a stupid

whore bitch!!!!!!

Me: *You're

I turn to Remy sitting next to me in the waiting room. "You need to tell tu jevita to chill," I say and show him my screen.

He rolls his eyes. "Ex-jevita, mi amante," he says with a smirk.

The door opens and Doctor Richards walks out. She looks old, wrinkly, and just as crotchety as before. I cannot say I am excited about this event. "I feel like my children have returned," she greets us. "Please, come in."

We walk inside and I already want to leave. She has updated her office, surprisingly. Now it's just a simple monochromatic scheme of blue and aqua with a single couch across from her armchair. I sit down against the arm, Remy sitting as far at the other end of the couch as possible. I count the seconds until she interprets that to mean something.

"I am very excited to see both of you, I must say," she greets us.

"I was happy to find out you were still seeing patients," Remy says.

"Yeah. I'm super thrilled, too," I add in. "Yay, therapy ..." Remy gives me a sideways look but can't hide his grin.

"So," Doctor Richards begins. "What brings you into my office today?"

I look at Remy, forcing him to provide an answer. He does. "We are considering a romantic relationship -- a first for us -- but we still have some reservations."

"Reservations about what exactly?"

"I think Maggie is afraid that if we try to be romantic with one another, it will ruin the relationship we have now."

Her mouth twist when she looks down to make notes. "I have read through my old notes from you both, and Remy, I'd like to thank you for taking the time to speak with me at length before making this appointment."

What? "Of course," he says like a fucking teacher's pet.

"Between my sessions with both of you, it was always apparent how much you trusted one another as a support system. Though you dealt with similar issues in different ways, and different issues in similar ways, the thing you always seemed to have was each other." Her wrinkly mouth turns up into a smile. "It seems that is still the case. Would you say so?"

I glance at Remy who looks to me to respond. "Yes. He's still my family, my best friend, still the person who knows everything about me. And now he's that person for my son as well."

"I am very glad to hear that," she remarks. "So, when it comes to this new relationship, you see romance as being a source of apprehension. You two have been physically intimate before, have you not?"

"Yes."

"And when you do have sex ... How would you describe it?"

I fidget and look towards Remy. He looks as uncomfortable as I do. We turn to answer. "... Amazing," I say at the same time Remy says, "Mind-blowing."

Mind-blowing? "Really?" I ask him. He looks at me and raises an eyebrow.

"Why does it surprise you to hear Remy feels so affected by your love-making?"

"Okay, please don't call it 'love-making', because ... gross," I squirm. "But ... It's because I know Remy doesn't, for lack of a better term, fuck me the way he wants to."

"I don't?" Remy asks.

I look over at Doctor Richards who waits for me to answer. I look back to Remy. "No. I know you'd rather have me tied up, spanking me and fucking me so hard I'm bruised by the end, and with all your little toys on deck."

"You think when you're lying naked beneath me I'm thinking about anything other than making you come?"

My eyes widen and I feel my cheeks warm. Something else warms as well.

"Maggie, have you ever asked Remy how he feels when you are together or told him how he makes you feel?"

I turn back to her. "No."

"And why is that?"

Because the first time I did, he fucking crushed me. We don't need to bring that up.

I shrug. "I don't know, doc. Why don't you save us all some time and tell us why you think that is?"

"I believe it may be because you are afraid to be vulnerable," she says. Here we go again ... "As a child, you were witness to situations that stole your innocence and made you detach in order to protect yourself. In response, you created a mental separation between sex and intimacy. You convinced yourself that sex, and the vulnerability that came with it, had no emotional significance. Any feelings you had for sexual partners were therefore non-existent," she explains. "I always believed you developed this as a way to cope with what happened to you and especially what you knew happened to your sister."

I tense at the mention of her, the idea that so few people know what she really was to me.

"What I always tried to work with you was your emotional responses, trying to relink the connection between sex and emotions because you had been convincing yourself that the physical vulnerability could take the place of any feelings you might have otherwise."

Why the hell am I being read right now? "Okay, and?"

"Do you think you still do this?"

I roll my eyes. "I'm a fucking sex worker. Of course I do, I have to."

"With everyone?"

This is such a trap. I look back over to Remy who has an amused smirk on his face. I roll my eyes and lean my head onto the back of the couch. With a sigh, I admit, "... Everyone but him."

She smiles. "And Remy," she starts. "You mentioned multiple failed relationships due to your desire to be with Maggie. What would you say is your main motivation for these actions?"

"I love her," he says without pause. "More than I've loved anyone."

"That's not true," I murmur.

"Why do you say that?" Richards asks.

"Because I am not the only one with a skewed sense of what love is," I respond. "Starting with ... my sister ... She was broken and she worked her charm on him like everyone else and consumed him. The only semblance he got of maintaining his dominance was in bed. I think he was led to believe that love is some grand sacrifice of everything you need and believe in for the sake of companionship. "

"To love someone, you must accept that they will also love you back in their own way," she explains. "You love your son more than anything, you sacrifice your happiness, your own desires, to make sure he has what he needs, do you not?"

"Well ... yes."

"How is that different from what Remy wants to do for you?"

"Because Remy acts like he owes me something and he doesn't," I nearly yell. "I owe Gabe the best possible life I can give him. He's my son, he didn't ask to be born."

"And you didn't ask to be born to your mother either."

I hesitate. "That's different."

"Is it?"

My frustration builds into anger. "Maybe not, but this is what I'm talking about. I am not my mother's daughter. I didn't even know she was my mother until she was already gone and then I had to deal with more pain and grief that I wasn't capable of handling," I explain. "One of the hardest parts was falling in love with someone who only loved me because I was the last remaining piece of the woman he wished he still had." My eyes start to burn, but I fight off my tears. "Remy takes care of me and sleeps with me because he misses Zipporah."

"That isn't true," Remy says.

I laugh. "How is it not?"

"You always say you were young and couldn't handle all the shit that happened, but so was I," he says. "I was nineteen when I started dating Z -- and she was twenty-seven. The only thing we had in common was pain, and yeah, we made it work to our benefit, but only until I wasn't enough of a distraction anymore," he says, his expression and gestures flustered. "Her loss hurt, it still does, but her memory never colored the way I saw you. I never wanted you around because I missed her. I wanted you around because when you weren't, I missed you."

What? I stare at him, unable to respond when I see the truth in his eyes. It makes me want to cry.

"I love you, Maggie. I'm sorry it took me a while to figure that out, but when I said you were my weakness, I meant it," he says with fervor. "You wreck me like no one else and you damn well know it."

He settles back against the couch with a cross of his arms. He's angry. I made him angry. The heat radiating between us confuses my body.

"Thank you for being so open. Both of you," Doctor Richards speaks up. I almost forgot the bitch was there. "Now, on the subject on intimacy, let's discuss what a relationship would mean for you two." Neither of us responds. "You trust one another, you are open and honest, you have made wonderful co-parents to your son, you are very compatible sexually ... Feelings aside, these are the things that make partnerships work."

"Yeah, but it's the feelings that are the problem," I tell her. "I can't see myself being romantic with him."

"Maggie," Doctor Richards says with a grin. "Not every love story is a romance. Sometimes it's just two people who figure out they are better off together."

I look over to Remy who looks back at me. While I don't want to be here talking about all of this shit, the one thing I have always known is that he has been the only stable part of my life. There is no Maggie Lorek without Remy Cruz.

"Let him in, let him love you, and recognize that you are worth being loved."

I fight my tears. "Okay," I whisper past the lump in my throat. I clear it and sit up straighter, preparing myself for the rest of the bullshit this session has to offer. "I still don't like you, by the way," I tell her.

"I know you don't, but you were one of my most favorite patients." She smiles. "Now, let's talk about ways you can communicate your needs, wants, and desires." 

Ugh.

♡♡♡

When the session is over, we walk out of the office in silence and start to make our way to his car. He unlocks it with a chuckle. "I have a strange craving for ice cream," he says.

"Yeah?" I press him back against the car and pull his face to mine. I kiss him passionately, feeling his arms wrap around me and his fingers weave into my hair. I nibble at his lower lip before I say, "Take me home. I have a craving for something else."

♡♡♡

An hour into our ... other therapy session, my skin is damp with sweat, my hand gripping my sheets as if they are the last of my sanity.

"Ooh ... fuck," my voice comes out like a tortured whine.

We lie on our sides, each propped up on an elbow. Remy grips my hip tight in his hand, his hips pumping against my ass from his position behind me. I lift my leg and tilt my hips back to push myself harder against him, my core a wet, slopping mess as I'm well on my way to orgasm number three.

Our hips move towards one another in time, our bodies colliding in a perfect rhythm. I call out uncontrollably as the pleasure shoots through me every time our hips meet. His pace never changes as he strokes himself against my most sensitive spots, his breath warm and labored against my lips between kisses. His lips taste like sin, his tongue like forbidden wine. One hand grips my neck, the other moves over my stomach and breasts, teasing against my nipples, the pressure building inside me. I tense around him with a groan.

Through my haze, I look at him. He stares me in the eyes while he lifts my knee higher and then slides his hand down my thigh to find my clit. He rubs his fingers against me and whispers, "Come for me." My brow tenses with the pleasure that rushes through me.

His fingers move in time with his thrusts and I lose my ever-loving shit. I'm on fire, my blood pumping with the heat of his deliberate touch. I feel hot, so hot, and close. The pressure wells inside me as my pussy grips tighter around him with my climax. He takes me by the nape of the neck, pushing my upper body forward, his other hand leaving my clit to arch my lower back into an exquisite angle. He fucks me harder, faster, groaning as his hips clash painfully, pleasurably against mine. 

"Ah!" I wail with the intensity. He is touching me everywhere I want him to, stroking inside me in just the right way to make me explode.

So, I do.

My legs snap together as the orgasm tears through me. I arch back, wailing loudly with the feeling. He pulls my hips back to him, pushes deep, and finds his own release inside me. My entire body shakes, my pussy clenches around him hungrily as I come so hard my vision goes white.

He thrusts again and the electric shock of pleasure shatters me. I clench so tight, he slips from me, a stream of liquid following his retreat as he spurts onto my leg and sheets. He groans and pushes back in, making me cry out again when I feel his presence against my sensitive walls. He strokes himself inside me slowly as his hands grip me tight, his cock twitching as he empties himself.

My head spins as I start to come down, still lost in a glorious, heady haze. He pulls me closer and I pant in his arms, feeling him do the same against my back. When I collapse back onto the pillow, he turns my face to his and kisses me again. I kiss him back hungrily, thanking him.

I break the kiss when the rest of my strength leaves me. I revel in the warmth of my haze, feeling blissful in the calm that settles over me. His arms wrap around me and pull me against his chest. His penis falls from me to lie heavy and calm between my filthy thighs.

"How was that?" Remy asks in a quiet voice. "You're not crying."

"I think I lost too many fluids," I joke, smiling when his deep chuckle rumbles against my back. I turn to look up at him, my heart beating quick in my chest when his eyes find mine. He strokes his hand against my hair. "Okay, look," I start to say. "I don't want you buying me shit. No flowers, no fucking houses, nothing. I don't even want to see your bank account. If we split bills it's straight down the middle."

"Bills?"

"That means I'm keeping my job. At least until I can find another RN position that pays the same or they promote me to management at the ranch."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying ... Gabe leaves in August. He'll have finals, application essays, the SAT, ACT ... The last thing he needs is us going back and forth between here and Vegas while we try this 'relationship' thing."

He stares at me with wide eyes. "Maggie ... Did you just ask me to move in with you?"

"Yes," I say. I roll over and face him. "What I desire ... is to give this a shot. A real shot. But I need you to promise me that in a few months, if we realize this shit isn't working, that it's just too painful ..." I trail off when my voice starts to quiver. "Promise me we'll push it down, pretend it never happened, and I'll get my best friend back."

"I'm not going anywhere." He grips my face in his hand, staring me in the eyes with a wide smile on his face. "I promise you," he says, and then kisses me.

Maybe he's right; that not everything good fades away.

Remy always seems to stay.

_____

A/N: How are we feeling? 

Thank you for reading! Don't forget to vote, comment, and add to your library if you want more!