I have to say that going to the visitation was a good decision.

I got to see my dad's side of the family and they were beyond happy to see me there. I also can't tell you how many times they told me that I was beautiful and there was A LOT of people there. I have a stereotypical Mexican family (Yes, believe it or not I am 1/4 Mexican even though I'm as pale as a ghost and could seriously pass off as a vampire.), meaning that THERE WERE A TON OF PEOPLE! And there even was a later visitation so there were LOTS of people that I didn't get to see.

Also, it was open casket and I got to see a dead person for the first time. I didn't know how to react at first because I had never seen this kind of thing but it turned that it really wasn't that bad. She actually looked really good. They dyed her hair so it would look nicer, they did her make-up and they dressed her up all nice. Honestly, she looked at peace. I would've thought she was sleeping if I didn't know that she was dead. I also wanted to cry but I somehow managed to hold back tears (It was probably because there were so many people there and I didn't feel comfortable just breaking down in front of them, because that's totally what I would've done.) and I couldn't bring myself to actually go over to her and say something. I told my mom this and she told me that I should've just done it and just said like a little prayer or something. But I brushed it off because she should know me and she should know that that's not really my thing. I don't really find comfort in that. But she did say that she was glad that I went because I can't make the actual funeral tomorrow because of school (If I didn't have school, I would totally go. But I have perfect attendance and besides, I don't think that my mom would've let me take the day off anyway. Plus, I can't miss a day of Geometry because of you miss a day of that class, you're pretty much screwed).

Anyway, that was my first funeral and it sure as hell won't be my last.

~Sky~