Doubts & Concerns
"Wait, we haven't told Sita bhabhi and Urmila yet, have we?" asked Lakshman, quickly removing himself from the hug. Ram nodded, shuffling from foot to foot. Lakshman noticed this, and put a hand on his brother's shoulders worriedly. "Are you alright bhaiyya? I know that you feel a little bit of pressure, is there anything else?" Ram's head darted up, wincing at the concern evident on Lakshman's face.
"I want to be king, but I am a little worried about what the praja will think. Do you think they will be unhappy? I know they love me, of course, but are they ready to have me as king, do you think?" Lakshman nodded so quickly that Ram wondered if he was even paying attention to the question, or if he had just played Russian Roulette and nodded along to whatever he was saying. "I am worried, to be honest.
"Come on, bhaiyya, let us just leave the palace for a few seconds, even and all your worries will be alleviated. Come on!" Lakshman grasped Ram's hand and dragged him out of their room, down the corridors, stumbling down the steps, and out the courtyard. Pausing, he threw open the doors and Ram stepped out, almost tripping over pebbles.
What he saw was an Ayodhya happier than he had ever seen it. The poor and the wealthy alike decorated the front of their houses and huts, grand or thatched, with lights and dias. Women and young daughters were painting rangoli over their front entrances. People were parading around in their best clothing like they did on all the annual pujas. Lanterns hung from roofs, colored with reds and pinks and blues and greens.
Ram saw, from far away, people traveling down from the mountains themselves, holding small traveling packs, and beaming at what they saw. He noticed elephants trumpeting with painted heads, and even they looked happy. He saw vendors selling their wares for lower prices than normal, stalls covered with bowls and bowls of colorful powders and firecrackers. He saw food sellers making spicy fritters on the spot, and people buying so much of them that Ram wondered if they would even be any food left in the kingdom by the end of the day.
But more than the decorations themselves were the spirits. People were laughing and smiling so hard it looked like their faces would split open. Giggles, joyful and innocent, rang in the air like the pure clanging of a temple bell. People were handing away their good belongings to the poor and needy, their kind and charitable spirits rekindled in the face of the happiness that the upcoming coronation brought them.
Loud cheers went up as two men put up a large banner that said "Rejoice, for our Ram is going to be King!" People laughed, the elderly and aged, faces wrinkled like raisins, and eyes squinted but still seeing, hugged the ones too young to talk. Painters and artists were pushed forward and handed large golden coins by the rich to paint images of Ram on the king's throne. Happiness was in the air with nothing to cloud it.
Ram stared at all of this, taking the city of Ayodhya in. He had never seen it so joyful, so prosperous, so great. The people wanted him to be their king, no matter if he was young or old. The people wanted him on the throne, they trusted him. Their trust built up in his heart and mind, and lit up a fire of confidence in the young crown prince, and he let out a shaky breath, before beaming, arms spread out in pride.
"Never doubt yourself bhaiyya, for no one else does." he heard a murmur from beside him, before Lakshman smiled at him and turned around as Ram stared at his back with a smile. Lakshman would never fail to reassure him. Ram turned back around, and retreated into the shadows, content in watching his subjects prosper in delight at his soon to be crowning.
-----O-----
Lakshman wiped away tears as he stormed down the halls. He could not stop the smile that spread across his face. His life's dream was fulfilled, his brother was going to be king! He sniffled deeply, before straightening his angavastram and looking down the corridor, eyes darting between the doorways of his Sita bhabhi and his Urmila. He took a deep, shuddery breath. Telling Sita bhabhi was Ram bhaiyya's duty and honor, not his.
Lakshman swallowed, still teetering from foot to foot as he stared at the door of his and Urmila's room. How would she react? Would she be like him, taking a few seconds to process everything, before jumping around in delight? In his mind, Papa had never taken a better decision than this. Ram would be a king like no other, certainly even better than Papa himself, Lakshman knew!
The world had never, and would never in the future, see a raja so grand and mighty as him! Lakshman choked, collapsing on the ground, head hidden in his hands. His heart still beat fast though the news had been imparted to him minutes ago. His lungs felt like they were working overtime, heaving again and again, desperate for more air. The memory kept replaying in slow motion, how Sumant had barged in, eyes looking crazed, how the words had just slipped out of his mouth.
A coughing fit over took Lakshman, and he rubbed his temples. Over and over and over again, it seemed as if his life revolved around that one moment in time, that one sentence. His mind pushed conflicting thoughts into his head. He felt like groveling at the temple idol's feet, thanking him for the rest of his life. And why shouldn't he? All that he had wanted was fulfilled. He could die in peace.
He sniffled, wiping away the tears that stained his hands and dhoti, before standing up unsteadily. He was acting like his Papa when he had had too much to drink, stumbling and tripping over his own footsteps, before he leaned back into the wall, the world spinning around him. Everything looked morphed, hazy, unsteady, weird, colors swirling around each other like the paint sets Bharat used.
Those words Sumant spoke, those mere words, they had hypnotized him. He could not believe it for a second, and he had sat back in alarm. Alarm, which Lakshman did not know when, had blended into a joy he had never experienced, not when he came back from Gurukul, not when he saw the alive faces of Bharat and Shatrughan after the fall of the chandelier, not even when he was married, though that came close.
Ram bhaiyya, the perfect man, the perfect brother, the perfect son, the perfect husband. Since childhood, he had protected him, loved him like no one else, wrapped his arms around him when he had crying fits, and cured his temper tantrums with a single touch of the hand. Since childhood, he had guided him, instilled bravery in him, given his life a purpose. Since childhood, he had taught him, educated him, confided in him, and had always lent an understanding ear. His Ram bhaiyya deserved nothing less. Lakshman wiped away the last of his tears. He wouldn't let his brother ever get less than he deserved. He had promised himself this a long time ago.
Flashback
"Bhaiyya?" A six-year-old Lakshman whispered unsteadily, lying on his bed and swallowing hard. "Bhaiyya!" he loudly whispered again, but nothing happened. He couldn't get up, for the pain in his leg would not let him move, and the sharp knife that felt like it was digging into his stomach, constricted his throat and would not let him speak any louder. "Bhaiyya, please." he muttered, but Shatrughan did not hear him, fast asleep, and Lakshman seriously doubted that Ram bhaiyya, whom he was calling, would either.
But suddenly, he heard footsteps, and Lakshman closed his eyes. If someone was coming to murder him, this was the only point in his lifetime that they would be able to. He collapsed back in his head, having mustered all the strength he could to get his head up. But lo and behold! There was his Ram bhaiyya, stepping in and immediately looking at Lakshman in alarm. "What happened, Laksh?" Ram asked, before his eyes caught the blood staining the bottom of his foot.
"I-I accidentally kicked the chandelier above my foot, and it cut it, and it hurts sooo bad, bhaiyya, help." Lakshman whispered, wiping away a tear. Without a moment's hesitation, Ram nodded, grabbing a roll of gauze quietly off of the nightstand and wrapping it around his foot. Once he was done, Ram made to leave, but Lakshman stopped him. "Can you sit with me tonight, bhaiyya?" he asked innocently, and the seven-year-old Ram nodded, sitting next to him on the bed. "Also, please don't tell Maa Sumitra, please! She told me not to kick the chandelier and I didn't listen, and-" Ram cut him off.
"Alright, Laksh, I won't tell. Go to sleep, it will heal your wounds quicker. Be careful, I get worried about you." Lakshman nodded and sat still, something completely impossible for him, just to make sure his Ram bhaiyya got sleep. Once he could hear his steady breaths, Lakshman also felt his eyelids drooping. He knew how hard it was for Ram bhaiyya to keep secrets from his mother. But he had done it. Just for him.
"You deserve the world, and more, bhaiyya," Lakshman muttered, taking a deep breath as sleep began to claim his consciousness. "And I will make sure that you get all of it, and nothing less." He fell fast asleep. Ram heard him that day, and thought he would forget. But Lakshman never forgot. And that day, Lord Vishnu smiled upon them sadly.
Present
Lakshman quickly jolted himself out of his memory. Urmila! He still had to tell her! Making himself look presentable, mainly consisting of wiping away his tears and straightening his crown without care towards his clothes, Lakshman knocked before walking into Urmila's room. There, he found her, calmly painting, staring at her canvas as if conflicted and unsure. She looked up at the sound, appearing happy for the distraction.
"Were you crying, arya?" she asked. Lakshman caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, and found that he showed no evidence of having cried. He took a deep breath before smiling. Urmila always knew. "Are you sad?" she asked, sitting him down on the bed and allowing him to put his head on her shoulder. "Did someone say something? I am telling you, that palace guard #3 is quite the...." she trailed off after glimpsing his smile, and she unconsciously smiled as well. "Well, what has gotten into you? You are smiling so widely? I am telling you, you only smiled so widely last when you saw me in the wedding."
Lakshman nodded. "I know, and I admit it.You looked beautiful then, the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, and will see. But you didn't need all of that jewelry. You look beautiful all of the time. I should smile at you like this every day." Urmila was shocked, but then she too smiled, even larger than him this time, playing with the end of her dupatta before pushing his shoulder as she laughed.
"Okay, okay, now we are all finished being romantic, can you please tell me what has happened that you were crying, and now you are smiling and telling me that I am beautiful?" Urmila chuckled, shaking her head and pushing his shoulder again as he laughed along with her. The sun seemed to shine brightly on the couple as Lakshman took Urmila's hands.
"It is the best day ever, Mila! My bhaiyya is being crowned as king in a few days!" Lakshman looked at her face searchingly. She too, like him, paused for a few seconds, processing the information, before her entire face split open in a smile as she jumped off of the bed, pulled the drapes open more, danced around the room, and pulled him up to dance along with her as she giggled.
"Isn't this wonderful? Yes, it is. We were missing Bharat and Shatrughan, but now the palace will be filled with laughter and gaiety again! I wonder how the people of Ayodhya are celebrating! I do think I will paint!" Urmila laughed. Her mind was filled with the same amount of joy as Lakshman's was, for not only was her brother going to get crowned, but also her sister, and she had full faith in both of them! Suddenly, she stopped, and looked up at her husband, who was watching her amusedly.
"Has Sita didi been told yet? I know she would be even more thrilled." When Lakshman shook his head after a moment's hesitation, she rolled her eyes. "Of course, Ram bhaiyya would have been nervous. I am very excited to see the both of them rule next to each other! We would all be living together in harmony, don't you think?" she paused for a moment, before she collapsed on the ground.
"MILA!" cried Lakshman, darting forward and catching her before she could hit the floor, and setting her down slowly. "Are you alright? Should I call for someone? Oh no," Urmila turned towards him and shook her head, but her hands trembled, and Lakshman grasped them between his and waited for her to speak.
"I-I, my heart just started beating as if something terrible was going to happen." Urmila stammered. "It was horrible, please believe me. My whole body went weak and trembling and I collapsed. I did not have enough strength to stand." she turned towards him, face white. "Just as I uttered those words, living together, something struck me like a bolt of lightning. I cannot shake the worry that something is going to happen." She finished quietly, and Lakshman pulled her closer, cradling her as she stopped trembling, and sighed in relief.
"It could be anything, Mila. Remember, once, how you worried that we would be separated? Or that I would be hurt in a battle with someone who was an equal match to me? Perhaps this is one of those as well." He stroked her hair. "I believe you, but maybe it's just a momentary worry, like I had." Urmila looked up at him quizzically. "Yes, I too once had something like that. Apparently it was that I would be successfully accused of something heinous and completely false by a member of the family."
Urmila burst into laughter, all fears disappearing. No one would accuse Lakshman of something terrible, and there was no possibility that he could even appear guilty of it, for he was so righteous that it was impossible to imagine him doing something wrong at all! Yes, it must just all be jitters. All was well in Ayodhya that day. People rejoiced. Not a single tear fell that was not from happiness. Lanterns were lit in the day. It was as if heaven was on Earth.
A/N-Yes, I understand, why did I make this chapter so pointless? The answer is...I do not know. I wish I knew, but I don't. So congratulations, a new achievement unlocked! Post a completely useless chapter! However, while the last chapter showed Ram's reaction to the news, I think this one showed Lakshman's reaction, and was still very important in my eyes. Of course, I am biased, so don't listen to me! Haha *laughs nervously*. You know, I have a strong urge to include Lakshmila in the next chapter just because. You know.
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