"The thing about chaos, is that while it disturbs us, it too, forces our hearts to roar in a way we secretly find magnificent."

-Christopher Poindexter

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Adeline

I scramble off of him not caring if I knee him in the face, "Just shut up." I tell Bast as she lifts a judgmental brow.

"You look healthy, shiny even maybe from sweat."

I glare at her, burning two holes in her head, "Seriously, just let it go."

She rolls her eyes, "Whatever you say."

I look back at Sam, he is still on the bed his arms holding up his head as he smiles.

Ugh, "Get rid of him, I don't need him anymore."

The Reaper chick pushes past us, "He isn't going anywhere, Death will like a word with this one."

I panic, "What for?" He didn't need to know about this and plus he's been MIA for days now.

She seems to glare, her milky eyes cloud over, "None of your business."

"Whatever, I'm leaving." I head to the door but Meeksha appears out of nowhere.

"You are healed." She looks surprised as she roams over my body with her snake eyes, as I thought she'd be.

Two black orbs peer around her legs, "Very much healed, you are well succubus."

I glance down at Daxt with a smile, "Yeah I'm good, he didn't poison me after all Meeksha. He just messed with my head making me and my succubus believe we were dying."

I flinch, the small prickle of pain as she pushes through my head is a reminder she's back and fully operational.

He should die.

I ignore her, "Please just move, I'm tired and my family will be worried about me."

She backs away, Daxt too scurries away, I turn the corner knowing the way to the front door.

Footsteps behind me indicate Bast is with me, "You gonna get me out of here."

"Of course, you can't summon a portal remember." We reach the stairs soon and I just now remembered something.

"Before all this shit went down you said you found that guy, the one who knew where to find Lilith."

She snaps her fingers, "Right, I almost forgot, man he's gonna be pissed, we were suppose to meet him hours ago."

"Do you think maybe he'll still meet with us?" I could feel the demon stirring, she couldn't think I still wanted her.

I might have been locked away by the Incubus but I know what happened, what you felt when I was gone.

It doesn't change anything, yeah I freaked a bit, I thought you were gone but.

Damn, I don't know how to explain this, I guess I just got used to her, I somewhat needed her at times and when she wasn't there to help I lost it. No matter how bad she can be, she was there and at times it wasn't all that bad. When Sam did what he did, I felt empty, I couldn't denied that.

I clenched my stomach as a jolt stabbed me, I fell to the ground a shudder running through my body as I watched in horror as my fingers nails began to bleed.

"W-what?" I stuttered breathlessly.

My chipped nail polish peels away, my nails seemed to go numb as the pain was to much as my fingernails turned black, becoming thicker and longer. I screamed not just because of the pain but from shock, from utter bewilderment.

"Oh, shit Adeline."

I glanced at Bast, sweat coated my forehead as I struggled for words, "What...is happening to me?" I practically begged her for answers.

She answered for me, You've admitted to accepting me, maybe not fully but just enough for me to come through.

I shook as chills ran up my spine, No, no I take it back, I don't accept you. Get out of me!

I hit the ground with inhuman strength, a growl forces its way out as the marble crumbles, "I take it back!" My eyes cloud with tears, splashing on the ground.

What have I done?

It's too late, I am here and I will be here until you accept me fully. Adeline you wouldn't have to kill all the time just occasionally to subside the hunger, it is not all bad.

No!

I wipe my eyes with my arm, my fingers were still bleeding, "Bring me to this guy, bring me to him now Bast." I won't give in, I can't, this is not going to be my life.

✴

"What do I do with them?" I couldn't go home, my eyes wouldn't go back to normal, my nails were an inky black and sharp. I was a monster in the eyes of any one who saw me so here I was beside a small lake that ran through the city, washing away the blood.

Bast has been quiet since she portaled us here, I didn't know why we were here, in the middle of a forest reserve.

"Just don't hurt yourself." She had long nails but they looked somewhat normal why couldn't these be normal.

"What are we doing here Bast? I thought you were taking me to this guy." I stand from where I sat on the grass, wiping my hands on my jeans.

"It's hard to explain, especially to a human but there's a gate here."

"Um okay, what the hell does that mean?" A gate like to another place, like portals.

"There are other dimensions besides this one, like when we went to the club, Calio the demon made that dimension himself it took one hell of warlock but it worked."

"Woah, back peddle here, a warlock as in some dude with magical powers."

She rolls her eyes, "Don't act shocked, there's way more things that are just as interesting than a self absorbed warlock."

Right because everyday I get to see this shit, everything new either small or big will be a shock to my senses, a shock to everything I thought I knew. She doesn't seem to get that.

"Bast...why are you helping me, I know what you said before but I don't get it. I'm a walking time bomb, I'm mean look at me, I have been through so much in the last month I don't even know if I want to do this."

I have done what I never thought possible, I killed someone, I have blood on my hands and I feel like more will come. I haven't spent a day with my family, to just sit and talk and now I might never get that chance if I do this. I won't be able to tell my dad how sorry I was for not fighting harder to control myself, I won't be able to tell Isabella sorry for how I treated her and James. He will never know I tried killing him, he will never know why I stopped talking to him, why I ignored him in class everyday. Why I can't look at him without my heart splitting in two? How will I be able to tell myself, to even look at myself after this is all done? That what I did was justified, no matter what he might of done, I still killed him.

"I don't understand, do you not want to go on, are you fine with her."

I glance down at the claws, at the hands that wrapped around his neck and broke it. I've ignored what happened for too long, it's fine at catching up to me and I don't know what to do with it.

"I'm starting to think that may be I don't deserve to be saved, to go back to who I was, I don't even know who that is."

"I understand where you are coming from Adeline."

I scoffed, "How could you ever understand Bast?" She doesn't feel what I feel, guilt, remorse, the idea that sits in the back of my mind that somehow I've tainted my soul.

Bast only smiles, to think she would be furious at how little I deemed her feelings. "I was a girl once before Adeline, a human girl. It seems impossible because of how I am, of how little I take my feelings into my daily decisions, I will tell you the truth. I have no real remorse, not anymore at least but I do feel your pain and I know where you come from with this. I have had similar feelings once, though it was very long ago, they were in fact there."

To say I was shocked into silence is an understatement, I was completely baffled. "You were human, really human, like me."

I had to admit, it was hard to believe.

She laughs shaking her head, "Yes, I was. The Incubus, when he told you of how my people died, he was not lying. My family and friends were taken from me by demons, I saw them as the monsters they were, they had no illusions, no glamor. They wanted us to know that they would kill us, they fed off our fear. I however was not killed, a demon took me, saying I was too beautiful to die." She seemed to be lost in her past, her eyes grew wide as the black pools of her eyes took over the yellow.

"I resented him, I hated him, so I killed him but as I lay over his body he only laughed. I will always remember what he said to me because it is what made me what I am now. As blood dripped from his mouth, he smiled, oh my Bastet, you have brought anger into your heart, you have lost the softness in your eyes, you have killed me." She turned away from me, hiding her face. "But it is not the end for you, for when you die, you will return and you will become me."

She faced me, her eyes glassy with tears, "He did not lie, I do not know what it is he did to me but I returned and I become this," She waved at her body. "Villages found out and I became known as Goddess Bastet, I was only cursed. But what I'm trying to tell you Adeline is I understand where you are coming from. I know what it felt like to have your humanity taken from you."

"I know what it felt like to kill another in anger and out of fear," She shrugs. "Are you damned, I do not know, I am not the one to decide. Can you be redeemed, that is up to you, I fell deeper into what I had become. I resented everything around me because I believed I had nothing else to lose. You have a family, remember that."

Her past sounded too similar to mine, someone took her without any say, like Death took me. Will my story turn out like hers, will I want to kill Death? That will never happen, if anything he'd kill me first.

I walk to her, wrapping my arms around her in a hug, "Thank you."

I don't know if this changed anything but I felt like it was a step in the right direction, I will not forget who I am, it is what will save me.

I released her, shoving my hands behind my back afraid I would cut her or myself.

"Now enough of this, we will find this warlock and we will get you your life back."

I regretting trusting the cat but now, I'm grateful for her, "Alright."

"Now." She begins to walk away, I hurry towards her, "We need to find this gate, he said it will be invisible to the human eye, I am not human so that entails I can find it but just so you know Adeline I'm not very good at puzzles."

Well now that were be honest, "I'm not either."

She groans, "Great."

Not giving up so easily I walk ahead of her, turning to only walk backwards, "Well what did he say, maybe we can figure this out "

"The gate you seek, is not a gate but a way of life, kept hidden from the human eye. If you shall find a gate, this way of life, you will find life indeed. Be weary for the gate will test even the kindest and wickedest. But it be the wickedest who find it first."

"Seriously."

What is with these people and this stupid nonsense?

"If it isn't blood sacrifice it's damn riddles and bull crap."

"Yep."

I continue to walk backwards well more like stumble as we walk deeper in the forest reserve.

"Bast what if we." I trail off when her eyes widen.

"Stop, Adeline don't move." I do as she says, afraid I might be about to step in dog poop or something.

I turn around, glancing down on the floor and I check my shoes for mines, "What is it, I don't see anything?"

"Adeline would you please stop looking for shit on your shoe and look up."

I look up, only to take two steps back, "Right, that's what you were looking at, what is it." I whispered.

"I...um, maybe this so called, way of life."

We stared at forest, to anyone it would appear to be nothing but trees and bushes. Totally harmless. I didn't see it clearly but I saw enough, the trees seemed to be alive. The longer I stared at them, the more they moved, forming into a doorway of branches that crackled and groaned.

"Bast, what are they, it, its."

"I told you I don't know, they could be demons but they are too lively, demons corrupt we turn everything living into nothing. These are definitely not nothing, we could be dealing with, my gosh dare I say it, we could be dealing with the fey."

••••••••••••••

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-Ash
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