"Our lives don't really belong to us, you see they belong to the world, and in spite of our efforts to make sense of it, the world is a place beyond our understanding."

-Paul Auster

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Adeline

I slammed my fist on my beeping alarm clock wanting the loud noise to end, I didn't expect it to crumble into pieces in my hand but it did however stop.

Rumbling underneath my pillow I lay in bed for another fifteen minutes not wanting to get dressed. I mean I'm part demon, what demon goes to freaking high school. Oh yeah no one. Dreading the slow walk to the bathroom I turn on the shower welcoming the steam that hits my face.

A half hour later I'm clean and somewhat dressed, I leave my hair to air dry not bothering to brush out the tangled mess. Placing the right amount of mascara and eye liner on I leave the rest of my face alone.

Trudging down the steps, I don't hear Dad or Izzy so they must still be at the hospital, checking the phone for messages I find none. Shrugging, I guess I walk today. Locking the front door behind me I walk in the direction of the school, looking at my ugly watch, I know I'm going to be late so I take my time not really caring.

I walk on the empty sidewalk, it's quiet today no one's really up in this neighborhood especially at seven in the morning.

Turning the corner at the stop sign, I freeze, my head swims as I look down at the sidewalk. Tire marks still linger on the pale sidewalk and the onto the street. I try everything to stop the flashes of that day to plague my mind but nothing helps as I recall the blue truck, the pain, the sounds of my screams.

Calm down.

I can't.

I think I'm having a panic attack, my chest closes in and I have trouble breathing as my vision blurs with the images and sounds. I whirl around as if it were to happen again, only to make myself even more disoriented.

Help me!

I can't. Just breath.

I take her advice into consideration and sputter out a ragged breath. Its helps somewhat but my chest still feels constricted and heavy.

I debate whether or not I want to go to school, I didn't want another attack like this and I didn't want what occurred to happen again. Then there's also what happened with James. I sigh, not wanting to think about him anymore I push any thoughts about him aside.

*Beeb!Startled I turn to the loud car horn.

The owner of such a noise is coming from the black mustang and inside that mustang is in fact Sam. His face breaks into an easy smile when I see him, his eyes are hidden behind his ray bans.

"There is a much more subtle way to get ahold of someone's attention."

"Get in." I watch as leans over opening the door for me.

"I like walking." I argued.

"Oh I'm sure. Come on you don't wanna be late sleeping beauty."

Sleeping beauty that's a new one for sure, "That was the original plan, miss first period then I only have to suffer through six more hours of school."

He chuckles lightly, "Come on Adeline."

Running my hand through the tangled mess of my hair, that I now regret not brushing I jump into his car.

"See now was that so hard." I don't bother replying to his remark he'll just come back with something else I'm sure.

"So. How was your weekend?"

My sister's boyfriend's lifeless body crosses my mind. I shake it away but then Lucifer comes in mind then Bast then Lilith. Oh don't forget to add Death to that list. My head is filled with everything and I can't tell him anything.

"It was...boring as usually. Really nothing to do but lay around all day." I lie to him, I have to, I wasn't the type of person to say, 'oh nothing just killed someone and I met the devil.'

"Me too. Hopefully school is much more entertaining."

"Right." I laugh. "Thanks to you, I'll actually be early."

"Oh but that's a good thing Ms. Tardy." His smile was contagious, I couldn't help but smile with him.

Sam parked his car in the back of the parking lot, I slip out of the beautiful car, shouldering my purse. I look at the not so crowded school entrance dreading the very thought of walking inside.

"Come on it's not so bad." Sam shoulders me playfully, winking as he walks ahead of me.

My stomach does something very weird as I follow closely beside him. "Please tell me we are skipping first period. I can't even imagine what that teacher has in store for us."

I hear him chuckle beside me, "You wanna ditch."

"Um yeah. It's kind of a weekly thing for me, you know it's healthy to ditch every once in awhile."

"Oh is it." I can practically feel his smirk.

"Yeah it gives you the time you need to count the days you get to leave this place."

"Sorry but that sentenced was very confusing. It kind of hurt really maybe you should stay in school a little longer."

I hit him on the arm as he laughed at his bad joke. "Yeah yeah whatever. I think I might reconsider this friendship."

"Oh we're friends now are we." He leans toward me playfully, I push him away laughing softly.

"Don't push it Sam."

"Alright, alright. No first period. Where would you like to spend a whole what, forty five minutes."

I smile. "Really."

His green eyes sparkle when his smile spreads across his face. "Yeah."

"Okay come one, I have a place in mind."

He follows me without question, the forest reserve is just behind the school, students come out here all the time to ditch but I know a secret place. I found it when I first came here as a freshman, it help me think, the silence is so welcoming.

"Where are you taking me?" He didn't sound nervous but he sure was confused. "This is how every horror movie starts, kids go into woods, kids get chased, then they die."

"We're almost there, relax cry baby."

I push away the overgrown brush and follow the path I've mesmerized thousands of times in my head. When I finally see where I need to go I turn slightly to the right and step into a very small patch of clear foldage, the grass here reaches your knees. But what really captured me was the weeping willow, sitting there untouched by man. His long bellowing leaves, just barely touch the ground. The only sound you hear is the small birds chirping in the distance.

I turn to him and smile. "So."

His face is covered with emotion that I can't simply pinpoint the feelings he has toward my secret willow.

I sort of feel nervous I've never showed anyone this place not even James. What made me want to show him, I don't know. It's the same feeling I had when I talked with him about James.

When he finally meets my gaze he smiles, "This place...is amazing Adeline. How did you find it?"

I laugh halfheartedly, "It's a long story." I turn to the willow and carefully spread his long vines, I've cleared some of the grass so I could sit, it's grown since the last time I've been here buts it's manageable.

I crouch on the floor brushing away a few strands before I sit down crossing my legs.

He follows me sitting just opposite of me, "Come on we have about a half hour to talk." He appears somewhat ridiculous sitting crossed legged on the grassy floor, out of place.

"You've heard enough of my sob story Sam."

"Don't worry I like sad movies I cry all the time I swear."

I shake my head, he's such an idiot, but I still throw myself at his question like always. "I loved school growing up, I was a nerd in some ways than most. It was a Monday when I had to present my science project to the class, your parents were allowed to watch you but I couldn't find mine. During my presentation the principal pulled me out," I laugh softly. "I thought I had gotten into trouble or something. Instead I see my Dad, tears in his eyes, the way he walks is as if he has this enormous weight on his shoulders. Just so drained, you know. I was scared at that moment because I've never seen him like that until I found out why. My Mom had just died," I stop wiping away the stupid tear that trails down my face. "I didn't believe him but I know I did so I ran, into these woods, until finally I found this place. I lay for hours, no one found me until I came back out." I look at him. "See sob story."

He brushes his fingers on my hand, it's reassuring. "Hardly, you lost someone important to you. Just talking about this probably took a lot from you so thank you for telling me."

"Why is that Sam? Why do I tell you about this so easily?" I shouldn't have said that, it sounded like I regret telling him anything, when really it felt like he was the first person who really sees me as me.

He sort of laughs it's more breathy though. "I don't know. You seem different than the others." His green eyes seem like the only things all to at home under the willow tree.

"Well different is putting it mildly but alright. At least you weren't offended." I shrug, smiling at him.

"Sorry but it'll take more than that to scare me away."

Oh I think you have much in store. "Right because someone like me isn't scary at all, with the whole my eyes glow thing, you're insane."

He seemed interested in the subject, his eyebrows scrunched up, as if he were thinking. "Can you explain it to me Adeline, if you want to of course."

I just can't, I was scared to tell him that a demon lived within me and every once in awhile she pops in to say hi. My eyes glow when I feel so much emotion and in triggers her to come out and feed, yeah because that's just something you want to tell someone.

"Adeline." He whispers.

When I look at him, he's nothing but swirls of energy, the small waves of light that seem to caress him are a dark blue, attaching out to the edges is a lighter color. I could kill him and no one would know, no one would find him, the ache in my chest is telling me to do it, to take him but my mind the sensible part of me, the human part is saying no.

So I snap my eyes close, erasing the image of him and his essence of light from my mind.

A hand touches my cheek, brushing my hair lightly behind my ear. What he does does not help at all, it's sparked by emotion and what he did sent a lot.

"Stop." I groan.

I can practically feel her stirring inside me, waiting to be released, waiting to come out from where I've stuffed her.

"Open your eyes Adeline."

I struggled with myself but gave up, opening my eyes I watch as he sees not only me but her too.

"You have no idea how this feels to me, seeing you through my eyes."

"Its human nature to be scared of the unknown."

"Then I might be sort of the feature because you don't scare me."

I stand abruptly, not wanting to get caught up in something like this, I shouldn't even be here. "Come on second period is about to start."

He stands not questioning my change of the subject, "Lead the way."

I take the path back to the school, heading to the side entrance where no teachers roam and where the door is unlocked.

"Your own little secret I presume."

"Yeah it is." The hallways are empty as I predicted, I do not want to be here, I can practically feel every living human stir inside the classes as they sit on their chairs squirming to be released as the bell rings.

"I have to go, see you in third period." I leave him hating the way the demon makes me feel.

Finding my next class was easy, I could find it blindfolded, I just had to stand there until the bell now.

When it finally grants my wish the bell rang overhead and floods of students crashed into the hallways. The sound of lockers slamming shut and the sound of yelling and bickering rang through my ears like the school bell.

When the last person left the class I walked into world geo. The teacher Mrs. Walker sat at her desk not bothering to see who entered her class. She was a teacher who wasn't on my bad side or good side, she's like switzerland, neutral.

I lay my head in my arms waiting for class to start it won't take long now we have about thirty seconds for everyone to start bombarding in.

It's so funny when someone is late, I mean you obviously know you're going to be late so why not just shut up and let the teacher just scorn you. I hate it when someone makes a big deal out of something as stupid as a tardy.

When Mrs. Walker stands she writes on the board in big ass letters PROJECT. As if I need something like this to distract me and add onto the list of things I have to do.

The few groans echo my own disdain but I just keep my mouth shut.

"Yes a project. Suck it up, you're all seniors and should be used to this sort of thing. Now you will choose a geographical site that inspires you to not only write about it but to explore the secrets and legends and of course the impact it has on planet earth.

Whether it provides half the world's supply of oxygen or has the most uncharted and undiscovered history waiting to be explored. No partners in this, I'm sure you can handle this one on your own."

She turns to pick up a stack of papers handing each front row a small stack to pass back. When receiving mine I hand it to the person behind me.

I stare at the clock and watch the small ticking it makes, two minutes has passed, no way. Shaking my head I know today will be a long day.

*

I sit in the same class me and James share and wait with sweaty and shaking hands as he enters the door. Sam was in this class too but I didn't see him yet either.

My breathing stops when the familiar face of my best friend that I kissed a couple of days ago enters the room.

When he sees me, he stops. And I nearly panick when he finally smiles, confused I stare at him dumbfounded. Wait. What?

He walks to me standing beside my desk, "Why didn't you wait for me this morning I looked for you everywhere Addie."

"I..." I had no actual real words for him, I thought he hated me, what was going on. This isn't right, I don't understand.

"Are you alright, you don't look so good."

"No, um I'm fine but how are you, I mean after what happened the other day I thought, well I thought maybe you wouldn't talk to me."

He looked confused, his head cocked to the side studying me. "Addie what happened." He touched my forehead, "Are you seriously okay because i don't think so."

He doesn't remember, why doesn't he damn remember, Death has something to do with this, he made James forget. Even though I appreciate him for causing him to forget that he hates me but I didn't want him to just forget everything, I wanted him to forgive out of his own free will, now it's if it never happened.

"No, I'm fine thanks James, sorry just a little tired is all." I smile, showing him that I am just fine but really I can't wrap my head around him being not mad at me.

James takes his usually spot and sits behind me, I feel his hand tug on one of my locks. It causes me to smile but quickly erased by the feeling of wanting to cry.

You don't belong here.

Shut up.

••••••••••••••

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-Ash

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