After pausing for as long as possible, I went back inside the coffee shop. As I came in, Joe was busy stacking the chairs on top of the tables. That was something we usually did at the end of the day, so that it was easier to sweep the floor. I didn't understand why Joe was doing it so early in the morning.

"Is everything okay?" I asked. I mean, obviously it wasn't, I just wasn't sure what else to say in that moment.

"No, my son is dead," said Joe, with a flat voice. "I'm closing the shop. I need to go and find out who did it."

Okay, that was a relief. It sounded like I would be able to leave and get away from him. To be around Joe while he was going through such a difficult period would be too hard for me. I already felt terrible about what I had done, and having to comfort Joe on top of that would have finished me off.

"Here, let me help," I said, and started picking up the chairs.

I watched Joe out of the corner of my eye. He seemed to be moving on autopilot. His red and bloodshot eyes had a kind of empty stare where he wasn't really looking at his surroundings.

Before long, the chairs were all stacked up on the tables. I went and grabbed the broom out of the cleaning cupboard, and swept up the floor. Luckily, as we had only been open for a couple of hours, there wasn't as much mess as usual.

Joe stood and watched me silently until I had finished sweeping. "You can go home," he said, quietly. "I'll call when I'm ready to reopen."

I didn't have to be told twice. I quickly rushed out back to change out of my work uniform, then I was out the door before Joe could change his mind.

As I left the coffee shop, I heard someone calling out my name. Looking up, I saw Lucas across the street coming out of the strip club. He waved at me, then started to walk quickly across the street. He had an angry look on his face that made me feel slightly nervous.

"Hey. My dad just told me they found Tony," he said, when he reached me. "Those bastard Columbians dumped him in an alley like a piece of trash."

"Err, yeah, I heard," I said.

Lucas seemed so upset about the idea of his friend being treated like garbage. It made me start to feel guilty again. I felt like maybe I should have stabbed him somewhere else? Maybe if I had killed him down by the docks somewhere and pushed his body in the river, then would Lucas be less upset?

But then, why was I so worried about Lucas being upset? He hadn't worried about me when he had murdered my parents by throwing them in a car crusher. Someone capable of doing something so horrible didn't deserve my pity. He was just an asshole, and he deserved to suffer.

"Do you know what I mean?" Lucas asked.

Eh, what? Had he just been saying something to me? I was completely zoned out.

"Err, yeah?" I said.

"Exactly!" Lucas said, as he pounded his fist into his other hand. "The Gatos Locos are going to pay for what they did."

That didn't sound good, but if anything bad was going to happen, better them than me. Plus I was fairly sure those Gatos Locos that he mentioned were a gang of drug dealers, was that right? It sounded like something I had heard at some point. But whatever, it probably wasn't important. Just as long as no one suspected me, that was all that mattered.

"I need to do something," said Lucas. "Get the boys together to move on the Gatos. Are you coming?"

Yeah, that did not sound like something I would want to be involved with. "No, I need to, umm, get back to my place," I said, my brain drawing a blank when it came to thinking of an excuse. But luckily, Lucas didn't seem to be paying attention to me.

"Okay, well I'll see you around," said Lucas, before he hurried back across the street to the club.

I also hurried off towards the subway station before anyone else tried to talk to me. This day was beginning to get out of hand. What with the outpouring of emotions, and talk of revenge. Plus the rampant hormones that had been triggered by being around Dominic again. I needed to go somewhere quiet to hide.

Though one good thing had come from talking to Lucas, I thought to myself as I sat down on the subway. When he reminded me what he had done to my parents, it had triggered my resolve. My heart felt hardened again. They all deserved what had happened to them.

Especially Tony. He deserved to have died for what he had done to me. He deserved to have that knife stabbed into his neck. He deserved to have his blood pour out the wound. To fall to the ground with that cold lifeless expression as he laid in a pool of his own blood.

Ah crap, I was picturing it again. My head felt dizzy and my legs went weak. I could barely walk in a straight line as I staggered out of the subway station and started to walk back to my apartment. I just needed to get back to safety before I collapsed completely.

As I rounded the corner and got in sight of my apartment building, I bumped into a woman. When she turned around, I saw it was that crazy old lady who lived in the apartment next to mine. Old, umm, whatever her name was, from number 4. I had managed to avoid her since the first time we met, as I didn't have any interest in mixing with her craziness. But now it seemed like my luck had run out.

"Hello again, deary," she said.

"Hi," I said, wanting to get away from her as quickly as possible.

"Do you remember me? It's Eileen from next door," she said. "I've not seen you since you moved in."

"Yeah, of course I remember you, Eileen," I said. "I'm sorry, I've just been too busy with work to come around and chat."

"Oh dear, you look like you have been working too hard," said Eileen. "You look all pale and weak."

"Err, yeah. I had kind of a tough weekend," I said. "But I'll be okay."

"Nonsense. You need feeding up to get your strength back. Anyone can see that," she said. "I've got some tea and honey cake upstairs in my apartment."

Oohhh, honey cake. That was different. I loved honey cake, my granny used to make it all the time when I was little. It had always been my favourite. Well, that and walnut cake.

"Yeah, that sounds nice," I said.

Eileen opened the door to the apartment building, and I followed her inside and up the stairs. She then opened the door to her apartment, and invited me inside.

The inside of Eileen's apartment looked different than I had expected. For one thing, there weren't any cats. I had half expected her to have loads of cats. Also, her furniture looked a lot better than I thought. I mean, it was old, but like the expensive kind of old rather than tatty and run down. There was also a large desk with one of those old typewriters and stacks of paper positioned in the middle of the room.

While Eileen went off to the kitchen, I wandered over for a closer look at her desk. The paper that was strewn across the top seemed to be some kind of manuscript. The typing was spaced out, and there were notes and corrections scribbled over it in red ink.

"My latest novel," said Eileen, as she came out from the kitchen. "I was just editing the first draft."

"Oh, okay," I said.

"Maybe you have heard of me? Eileen Steinmann," she said. "Perhaps you have read one of my books?"

I shrugged, I didn't recognise the name. "I dunno, I don't really read much," I said. "Well, apart from the Harry Potter books."

"Ah, well my books are more serious literature, rather than childish fantasy," she said.

"Oh, right," I mumbled. Bitch, just stop talking and bring me my cake.

"This one is a memoir of my father, and his escape from Austria before the war," she said.

"Uh-huh," I said. Whatever, I'm still waiting for my cake.

"Now, let me see if the water has boiled," said Eileen, and she went back into the kitchen.

She returned a few minutes later, carrying a tray with two cups of tea and some kind of cake. It was dark coloured, and covered in flaked almonds. I eyed it suspiciously, it didn't look like the honey cakes my granny used to make.

"I know it's the wrong time of year, but I was feeling nostalgic," said Eileen, as she cut a slice of cake.

I had no idea what that was supposed to mean, so I just smiled and took the plate from her. The cake tasted okay, lots of spices, but it wasn't as nice as the one my granny makes. The tea and cake did make me feel slightly better though. But once I had finished eating, I was ready to leave.

"Well, thank you for the cake," I said. "But I should get going. It looks like you have lots of work to do."

"Yes, that is true," said Eileen, as she looked over at her desk. "But it was nice having some company for a change. You must come over again."

"Err, yeah, sure," I said, as I made my way towards the door.

I quickly made my way over to my apartment before she could stop me. And then I bolted the door before I flopped down on the couch. I spent the rest of the day camped out on the couch and watching Netflix. Doing anything to avoid thinking about Tony again.