Jin

I stared at my laptop screen, finishing up my research for my global management class, when I came across the name of Kim Worldwide Incorporated. Again. I knew I would never escape references to my father's corporation as long as I was studying business. My assignment involved researching a company to find a project that would fit with their current financial and expansion interests and then put together a hypothetical proposal. My team had decided to pair KWI with another corporation that was making big strides in the entertainment industry.

So far in my college courses, I had avoided working on any assignment that had anything to do with my father's company. Now as I neared the end of my second year in graduate school, it was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore KWI's standing in the business world. I had dealt with many classmates' papers and research about KWI, but I had never confirmed my connection to that corporation. And I was not about to.

I remembered Bella's concern about my standing with my family. My mother had never concerned herself with me after she left, and my father had shown me no love or emotion. I owed my family little to nothing. I had learned to make my own way in the world.

I had not told Bella about my father's wealth and influence because I didn't want to scare her off.  I wanted our relationship to progress naturally without the weight of my family bogging it down.  I wanted her to love me so much that my family could not drive her away.

I looked up at the clock and saw that it was seven-thirty five. It was Tuesday. Bella should be here soon, so I quickly finished up what I was doing and closed the laptop. I had a few minutes to get myself ready. I had just finished getting dressed after a quick shower when I heard the knock at the door and smiled. I had told Bella countless times to use the code to come in, but she insisted on knocking.

I threw the door open and pulled her into my arms without talking. I slammed the door shut, pinning her against it, and attacked her with feverish kisses. I felt the familiar stirrings in my body and broke off the kiss. I grabbed her hand and pulled her into the bedroom.

Crushing her body to mine, I trailed my lips down her neck. My hands moved underneath her shirt and up her back.

"Uh...J-Jin...w-wait," she whispered when she felt my hands at the snaps of her bra.

I moved back a few inches. "Huh? What? Is something wrong?"

She shook her head. "No. I just wanted to say hi. You didn't even say a word to me."

I smiled. "Hello, my beautiful darling. I am so glad to see you." I kissed her again and moved her toward the bed. I pushed her down gently and eased my body over hers.

"Jin, wait," she said again. She placed a hand on my chest. "That's it? That's not conversation."

I grinned. "I'll let my body do the talking. I know how much you like that."

She turned her face away. "Stop it," she said softly. "You do this all the time. You just pull me into your room as if that's the only important part of our relationship."

I blinked in confusion then rolled completely off of her. "What do you mean? Are you saying that I only want you for sex? How can you think that?" I felt the pressure in my pants disappear, and I dropped down on my back next to her. "I can't believe you would think that."

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm just concerned that it will become the most important thing between us, and it's not, is it?" She sat up and looked down at me.

"Of course it's not, Bella," I replied. "You know that I love you, and I think the world of you. You're my ray of sunshine, my happiness, my everything. When I have a rough day, the sight of you makes it all better. I love being with you. I love our conversations. Sex will never define our relationship. Who has been filling your head with these crazy ideas?" I turned to her and saw the look on her face. "Okay. What did you hear this time?"

"There were some girls at the library yesterday," she began slowly. "They wondered how soon you would get tired of sleeping with the same girl all the time. They wondered if you would want to do threesomes so that you won't be bored."

I sighed loudly. "They probably knew you were my girlfriend. They were just being mean. Some girls are such...well, witches with a B who obviously have pathetic little witchy lives. I wish you would stop listening to rumors."

"But are they rumors?" she persisted. "Do you ever miss the life you used to have? Didn't you used to, you know, be with a different girl every night, Seokjin?"

I sat up. Seokjin? She was serious. "Darling, a different girl every night is the height of absurdity. I may have...been with more than a few girls, but not one every night and never a threesome or any of that. Those are stupid rumors. Besides, that was the old me. You know that I wouldn't do that anymore. I don't want to. I am in love, deeply in love with you. You can be sure that there is no one besides you and never will be."

She sighed. "I guess I just need to hear it sometimes. Especially when you greet me so enthusiastically that you don't even let me breathe."

"I'm sorry, baby," I said contritely. "I get carried away because I've never felt this way before. It's like the perfect combination of spiritual and physical attraction, a chemical reaction that overloads all rational thought. I'm sorry." I brought her hand up to my lips. "Are you breathing okay now?"

She scoffed. "Now you're just making fun of me." Her hand slapped my arm.

"No, I am really concerned," I said. I pulled her toward me. "Because now I am going to make you feel completely, truly breathless." I paused. "But only because I love you so much, and I want you to be happy."

I placed a tender kiss on her lips. I did not increase the pressure or open my mouth until I felt her begin to squirm. Her lips opened against mine, and I smiled before plunging my tongue into her warmth, searching out her own tongue. It was always better when I let her set the pace, but sometimes I lost control of myself. She would never need to doubt my love for her because it was immense. I couldn't picture myself without her. I lowered her down onto the mattress.

"Wait," she murmured.

What? She was driving me crazy. I rolled away from her again breathlessly. "Bella."

She sat up. "If I...if I told you that I didn't feel like it tonight, would you be okay with that?"

I sat up, too. "You mean, you don't want to make love tonight?" I scratched my head absently. "Uh, sure. Of course I'd be okay with that. I'm not an animal."

"Can we just hang out and talk a little?" she asked.

I nodded. "Sure. Do you mind if I change out of this shirt?"

"No. Go ahead."

I pushed myself off the bed and pulled my sweatshirt over my head as I walked to my closet. "What did you want to talk about?" I asked, deliberately flexing the muscles on my back.

"Oh, uh, well, how...how, uh, are your classes going?" she asked stiltedly.

I turned to her, throwing my shoulders back and trying not to smirk when I saw her eyes pinned to my body. "They're going very well actually. My team's making good progress on the project." I turned and opened a drawer, pulling out a tee shirt. "What about you?"

I pulled the shirt on slowly and turned to look at her. She was still staring at me.

"Bella?"

She blinked and inhaled. "Oh, uh, I'm doing well."

"Hm. I'm glad you're doing well," I said, walking toward her. I rather liked that she was mesmerized by my body. I was flattered that she desired me. "I can make you feel better." I stood right in front of her as she sat on the edge of my bed. I hooked my thumbs on the waistband of my sweats, and she averted her eyes.

"Jin, I thought we weren't going to...you know."

"Relax, darling. I was teasing. I told you that sex isn't that big a deal," I said. "It certainly doesn't define our relationship." I paused a beat. "Want to play video games?"

"Uh, sure, I guess, but I'm not very good at them."

I motioned for her to follow me out to the living room. I turned on the TV and set up one of my older Mario games. For the next hour, we played and laughed. I kept glancing at her and wondering how I had gotten lucky enough to find someone like her. God, she was perfect! It hurt me a little to think that she felt some doubts about our relationship because I had no doubts about my feelings for her.

"You did pretty well," I said when I saw her frowning.

"Yes," she said with a doubtful look, "but we still didn't get to talk much."

I took the game controller from her hands and placed it down on the coffee table. "Okay. What would you like to talk about? I'm all yours."

"Jin," she began, her face serious. "About that social that the graduate school of business had last week...tell me again: why didn't you ask me to go with you?"

Uh-oh.

I squeezed her hands. "I didn't think you'd like it. A bunch of arrogant business graduate students and stuffy business professors--not at all entertaining. You would've been bored to tears. I barely wanted to be there myself."

She moved her hands away from mine. "But you were there. At the time I didn't ask too much about it, but a girl in one of my classes was going on and on about the event and the hot graduate student who was there. I didn't have to ask who she was talking about."

"I'm flattered that you think I'm the only hot graduate student, but I'm sure she was just speaking in general. People always think graduate students are hot when in reality, that's not always so." I hoped that this conversation would end soon.

"You must either think I'm too ignorant to fit in with your graduate school crowd or that a girlfriend would ruin your single playboy status."

"Of course not!" I protested. "It was nothing like that! Besides it really was boring."

"If it was so boring, then why were you dancing with other women?"

My jaw dropped a little before I composed myself. "I--I...it wasn't what you think."

"This girl said that you were twirling girls around the dance floor all night." She raised her hazel eyes to mine. "That doesn't sound boring and stuffy."

I sighed. "Baby, I wouldn't say I was dancing all night long. I danced with a couple of professor's wives, you know, just to earn some brownie points. I danced one song with Trish from my team--you know her. I was hardly Fred Astaire out there. No twirling or whatever. And I was probably the first one who left. I took you out to breakfast the next day. Did I appear drunk or tired in any way? No!"

She frowned. "And you told me nothing about that night except that you mostly sat around with your team. You said nothing about dancing."

"I didn't think it was important. It was a boring, formal affair," I said. I slid closer to her on the sofa and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. "It really wasn't a big deal." I pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry. I didn't know that it meant so much to you. I was honestly just trying to spare you the monotony, but I promise you will be right next to me at every one of these events from now on, okay?" I looked at her. "Is that okay, darling? You will be forced to accompany me to every gathering from now on, formal or informal. I'm sorry. Hey, do you want to play another game?" I hoped that I could distract her from her disappointment.

She shook her head. "Oh, uh, it's already getting late. I guess I should go."

I felt the crush of my own disappointment. "You don't want to stay?"

She said she was tired, so I got up to walk her back to her apartment. But when I opened the door, she turned to face me and said she was okay walking back to her place alone. I was about to protest, but she repeated her goodbye and walked away quickly.

I stood there for a moment wondering what had happened. Had I really messed up so badly? I decided to give her a little space. I would find a way to make it up to her.