Bella

"Break up?" I asked, my voice rising up hysterically. "You're breaking up with me? Here? Like this? Breaking up?" I threw the covers off and sprang to my feet.

Seokjin's eyes grew wide as I struggled to pull my nightgown down. He averted his gaze, which he at least still had the decency to do.

"I'm sorry."

I looked up at him when I heard him say those words softly. Was this really the end? I felt a tightness in my chest constrict my breathing, and I took a gulp of air. "You're really breaking up with me. Just like that. You're getting married, and now you don't need me. Is that it?"

He swayed a bit on his feet then reached his arm out toward me. I pulled away, and he lost his balance. He stumbled forward, grabbing on to my shoulders to keep from falling.

"I'm s-sorry," he repeated. "Let me explain."

I pushed him away from me. "Ugh! You're drunk! I can't believe you. Don't touch me. There's nothing left to explain. Just get out."

He blinked rapidly. "W-wait. Don't you...want me to tell you why?"

"Oh, I think I know," I said through my teeth. "Maybe we're breaking up because you're going to marry someone of your social class, right? Not some nobody like me."

He shook his head, tottering a bit. "No! It's nothing like that."

I inhaled deeply and looked away. "You're such a liar. You say things that you don't mean. I don't know why I ever believed you. You said you would never want anyone else but me, and yet here we are."

"I--I never said I wanted her," I said. "I just meant that we--us-- can't be together...officially."

"Officially? I have no idea what you mean, but that's fine. I will be out of here tomorrow." I couldn't look into his face. I didn't want to break down in tears. I would not.

"No! I don't want you to go! Don't leave me! Stay with me!" He grabbed me and slammed me against his body. His lips found mine; his hands gripped me tightly at my waist. I could taste the liquor on his tongue as he forced it into my mouth. For a moment I lost myself in his warmth, but when his hand lifted the hem of my nightgown, I came to my senses.

I hit his chest with my fists and pushed him away with all my strength. "No! How dare you? You break up with me, but you don't want me to leave you? You are the worst person I know!"

He was breathing heavily. "I love you, Bella. Stay, please!  You promised!"

"This is not a game, Seokjin. You can't hold me to that promise!  You can't push me and pull me according to your whims." He tried to touch me again, but I pushed him away. "I said no! Don't touch me! Get out!"

"Bella, I don't want you to leave. You promised to always stay with me.  Listen to me--"

"Get out of here, Seokjin," I said through clenched teeth. "You broke up with me. Fine! I'll leave. Don't tell me now that you want me to stay. I don't understand you! Do you want to see me suffer? Do you enjoy that?"

"Bella, please!"

"Why don't you go sneak into your fiancee's room and leave me the hell alone! I'm not your toy." My heart was beating so rapidly that I felt out of breath. My legs were getting weak. "You're right that this is over. It was over the minute you got engaged and didn't bother to tell me the truth. So, please, just go."

His eyes were still on my face. I could see their shiny wetness even in the dim lighting. "Please...don't hate me. I couldn't bear it if you..." his voice caught, and he sobbed. "I can't live if you hate me."

I was taken aback at the emotion in his voice. He had just broken my heart, but he was concerned with whether I hated him or not. Was it genuine regret, or was it shameless arrogance? What was he asking of me? He just broke up with me. Did he really think that I'd consider being his side chick? Is that what happened to girls who lost Seokjin's love? Did they just exist as occasional bed warmers?

Then the thought reverberated in my mind. Girls. Many girls had loved Seokjin. Many girls had lost him. I was just one in a long line of disposable females, and the realization made me angry. Incredibly angry.

"That's not really up to you, is it?" I said. "I hope that I will hate you. I hope that I will hate you so much that I never again want to know anything about you. Now...get out."

I rushed past him and locked myself in the bathroom. "Don't cry, Bella. Keep it together and don't cry," I whispered to myself even as the tears began falling down my cheeks. I so wanted to hate him, but even though I was hurt and angry, I couldn't muster up hatred in my heart. I loved him too much! I was breaking like glass into painful, jagged little pieces. I crumpled to the floor and cried bitter tears.