• [ g r i e f a n d g u i l t ] •

♥ louisa ♥

WHEN THE DOOR to the upper lounge swung open, I'd honestly thought I'd gone crazy. Because although three people were there, only two pairs of legs entered the room. My jaw dropped ever so slightly when I saw Gabriel standing at the door, with Talisa carried bridal style in his tensed arms. Beside him walked a severely pissed off Lexi, with her arms folded tightly across her chest.

Talisa mouthed I'm sorry at me as I stared at her. "Guess who was an idiot and fell down the stairs," she called out making me scoff quietly. I hardly believed it was accidental for her to fall down the stairs when only her crush was around to carry her.

A crush that was the epitome of danger.

Five minutes earlier, I'd kicked off my heels and was sitting on the couches with Ashlei, Logan, Prince and Arlo. Talisa has filled them all in on the plan and we were waiting for her and Lexi's arrival. I'd chosen not to bring up the fact that Gabriel may end up tagging along to Logan, worried of what his reaction would be.

Arlo whistled lowly at the sight of Lexi's face and tried to hide a chuckle whilst Gabriel threw Talisa on the sofa. "Damn, I should have brought some popcorn up with us."

Lexi craved attention and seemed to hate the fact that she wasn't getting any from Gabriel.

At his remark, Ashlei let out a giggle, yet immediately straightened her face and changed the topic.

"We couldn't get hold off any powder at such short notice but we got these new pills that are supposed to be pretty good." I was too focused on the scowl that Logan was giving to Gabriel to listen to what Ashlei was saying.

They'd already been rumours that Gabriel was going to be the new king of Forteaux Academy, and Logan was certainly not happy at the prospect of being dethroned.

A good reputation at the prestigious Forteaux Academy almost guaranteed a good reputation after Forteaux. A good reputation after Forteaux guaranteed a whole lot of money, and more importantly, fame.

"Who cares? Just give us the damn thing already," Prince muttered, taking off his cuff links so that he could roll up his sleeves and reveal his tan skin. He was still in a sour mood after I'd kicked him awake from a nap ten minutes ago.

Talisa readjusted herself on the sofa, with her foot still stretched out so that she could reach into a chest of drawers. "Hold your horses, this doesn't come cheap, you know."

"Yeah, I'm sure somebody here wouldn't even be able to afford this in their dreams," Logan snakily added in, as he swirled the whiskey in his glass. His feet were kicked up on the centre table and he took a moment to look straight at Gabriel and smirk.

Instead of arguing back to Logan, Gabriel threw his back at laughed. "And you can? I don't think somebody knows how to differentiate between daddy's money and their own," he mocked in a similar tone, before eying the only spare seat available. It was next to me.

I felt his gaze on my face, considering the fact I'd refused to make contact with his stormy grey eyes ever since he stepped in the room.

I hoped he hadn't remembered anything from the day at the rooftop as I pressed my lips together praying that he wouldn't sit beside me.

He, of course, sat down.

I sipped my drink in an attempt to pacify my unsteadily beating heart, that seemed to be having a little party in the chest. God, at least it was having fun, dancing wildly in my chest, in comparison to me who was frozen stiff.

There was no way I could look at Logan. I could imagine his reaction to Gabriel sitting beside me. Eyes narrowed, bitterly mumbling under his breath, chugging the leftover bit of whiskey that was in his glass.

The more people that saw Gabriel even in the same room as me, the more people began questioning whether Logan had been demoted from the upper tier of Forteaux. He hated that.

"Hey, Darling." Gabriel leant towards me slightly and I resisted the urge to escape.

The position of us both next to each other on a sofa was awfully familiar to me. The last time we were sitting like this, my hand was running down his bare chest and his hands were intertwined in my hair tightly.

That night certainly didn't end well.

Nobody understood how bad I wanted to run as fast as I could and get the hell out of here. Life, destiny, fate or whatever the heck this force was hated me.

I quickly looked around to room to see if anybody was looking at us. That was when I noticed that Logan had thankfully gone to the balcony to smoke and thanked the stars.

The sensation of Gabriel's lips brushing against my ear suddenly hit me and I held my breath. "Is Logan always such a twat or is it just with me?" He whispered as I caught the light scent of alcohol and strong cologne. Like super-strong cologne.

"Seeing other twats seems to bring out his inner twat," I lied, knowing very well that behind Logan's nice guy exterior, he had a rotten core. I paused as I felt the smell of his spray hit me.

Did the boy pour the whole bottle on himself or something?

Before I could help it, I began coughing. His grey eyes twinkled in an interest that dissipated as soon as I spoke, "What the hell have you got on? That's so strong." I gasped out, wrinkling my nose.

I opened my eyes just in time to see his face drop, his sharp cheekbones catching the light.

"Oh- No, it's not." He said defensively, his pinkish full lips falling open in offence. I wafted at the air, hoping that the strong strength of the cologne would weaken

"Uh, sur-"

"Actually, the ladies love it. You have no idea how many times this has gotten me laid. When I've got this on, I'm definitely not leaving alone. Watch me. You know I'm right. I'm always right."

"Maybe keep that to yourself, Gabriel," I muttered, leaning away from him and still searching for an escape route.

"Too promiscuous for you?" Gabriel's voice dripped with sarcasm, as he leant towards me again and grabbed my cheek, cooing at me as if I were a child.

I laughed bitterly, rolling my eyes and shoving him away. "If only you knew."

He raised an eyebrow, readjusting himself so that he was now facing me. "And what would the flawless Queen Bee have hidden in her wardrobe?"

I shuffled uncomfortably, still trying to avoid making eye contact. It was pretty odd, to be honest. Usually, I would dominate a conversation with my ability to hold eye contact yet when I was with Gabriel, I was too afraid to do just what I was good at.

"If we're being real, a whole stack of Prada bags," he answered his own question laughing as I observed the crinkles in his tanned skin as he broke out into a boyish grin.

"I wouldn't try to hurt my confidence, Darling. The fact remains that I am an absolute heartthrob and nothing you say is going to stop that," he joked arrogantly, batting his abnormally long eyelashes at me as I scoffed, shuffling back into the sofa.

I hated that he was right.

He was damn attractive and if I didn't already know him, things would have certainly escalated by now. "Whatever you say, Gabriel. I'm not gonna hurt your ego. It's too big for me to even bother trying."

I downed the last of my drink in the hope that it would get rid of the taste of his cologne. It was so familiar.

"Touché," He responded, shrugging his shoulders and straight-right accepting what I said as if it were a compliment.

"You do realise that's not a good thing?" I questioned, furrowing my eyebrows as my eyes fell upon his sharp jawline. He was unbelievable.

Gabriel cocked his head away from the bottle that he was holding so he could meet my gaze. "Depends on how you think about it."

My eyebrows furrowed as I pursued my lips that were painted in Dior, "That doesn't even make sense-"

Ignoring my words, he sent me a wink and stood up. "I'm gonna go have a teeny little natter to bad boy Logan and tell him to think twice before talking about my financial status."

I watched as he put bunny ears around the word natter, causing me to panic slightly. "Try not to miss me too much, Darling."

I pulled a face at his dashing smile, "A blessing in disguise. I'd have passed out if I had to smell that cologne for any longer."

"Keep telling yourself that, honey," he called out, making his way to the balcony as I scowled. Strands of his brown hair had fallen onto his forehead.

That was a slight lie considering I didn't hate the smell of it. The intensity was the issue and if I was forced to tell the truth, the fragrance was oddly nice.

It smelt of the ocean; droplets of sea salt spraying upon golden, sun-kissed sand.

I took a moment to stop and think about what was going through my mind.

Guilt flooded me as I processed who I just had a pleasant conversation with. A devil who knew how to use his looks to his advantage. Someone who had the capability of unknowingly destroying others.

Someone who could expose me. If Gabriel said the wrong thing, Logan was sure to drag me back to his house tonight.

That would be after a huge punch-up between the two and the final punch would land on me.

"Guys, come on! Let's do what we came here for," I said loudly, quickly calling everyone to the centre table before Logan and Gabriel had a chance to talk. "Lexi, go get the others from the balcony. I don't want to be getting high once the party's over." I let out a laugh of relief, glad that my distraction had been successfully.

Talisa methodically handed out the pills from where she sat on the sofa, making sure to give Lexi a different one. I'd inspected it earlier and it would be difficult for a sober mind to tell them apart, let alone a drunk one.

Lexi tossed her dark oak hair around her head, "Hurry up." She brought it to her lips excitedly and swallowed it down.

•••

The future usually made sure that people got what they deserved yet on slight occasions, it tended to falter. On those days, one had to give it a little shove.

11 months ago, my parents had cut me off after that night. They rarely spoke to me. They still didn't. I didn't blame them. What I'd done was unforgivable. They argued more, each blaming each other for being the cause of my recklessness.

10 months ago, I was a mess. Most of my life was spent in two places. Therapy and my bedroom. I'd shut most people off and the only time I didn't feel tormented was when I was alone.

Grief is a dangerous thing. It engulfs you and holds you captive in its suffocating fog until it consumes you whole and drags you down. So deep. So deep that you have no chance of escaping. Guilt is it's disastrous accomplice, in its twisted method of devouring its victims from the inside. Eating away at them until they are a mere shell of the person they used to be.

At that time, grief and guilt both were leeching away at me, after my mistakes two months earlier. Roughly a year ago from today.

9 months ago, I found out my father was having an affair. I'd gone to my father's office on a Saturday, in hope of talking to him for the first time in 3 months. I knew I couldn't apologise for the pain I'd caused him but I hoped to at least speak to him about it. In my arms were his favourite cookies that I'd freshly baked for him. White chocolate and raspberry.

His favourite.

I'd heard sounds, a moan, coming from his office yet I shrugged it off. I heard a scream. Maybe his client had stubbed her toe or something. When I slowly opened the door, I saw what my gut had been trying to tell me all along.

He was with a woman, who certainly wasn't my mother.

I caught sight on the young woman's face in the mirror. The reflection revealed it all.

A very naked Lexi sprawled all over Mr Edward L M Darling.

Someone who I was beginning to consider a friend, sleeping with a 45-year-old man.

A man who she knew was my father.

I'd slipped back out of the room that day before either of them could notice and lifted my guard even higher than before.

9 months ago, I saw Lexi's true colours and vowed to make her pay for what she was doing.

Today was just one of the many occasions when I was doing just that.

It's all coming out... That's the main reason why Louisa despises Lexi so much :(  Did any of you expect that?

I've also got some exciting news! The Price of Gold is ranked #2 on what's hot. Thank you all so much (:

Feel free to hit that star for Louisa!
KiwiAndKoalas x

♥ 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫! ♥