He lay by her side as she giggled a little. He was still getting used to her voice, her new face but it was her, still her inside. She was the most beautiful woman, at least inside and although her body had changed, she was the same soul with the same heart and love for him. She was not going to hinder his chances of feeling more human, perhaps even being more human than ever before. He loved her so much, she was his world and he was their world. What would they do without each other? No one could know, neither of them could know and he was not about to find out. He loved so much, cared for her and about her, his Nith, the beautiful woman whom he adored and who adored him. If he could have, he would have had children with her for she was the woman he had been waiting for all that time.

He held her in his arms, she was so soft. Her hair was soft on his arm. When he closed his eyes, he saw her true face, like an old dream turned nightmare and dream again with her in his arms and he in hers. She was so beautiful, her heart beat so beautifully, so perfectly and yet still he did not attempt to taste her blood. She touched her, her cheek, his hand stroking it softly. She held his hand, smiling a little at him.

"Are you hungry yet, my love?" she asked softly.

"No" he lied as he turned around, turning his head away from her.

"There is no need to lie to me" she whispered softly in his ear.

"I will feed tonight, if I must" he replied with hints of regret in his voice.

She turned him over, forcing him to look at her before she gently kissed him and she cuddled up to him, smiling a little as he turned towards her. She was not frightened of him and was not frightened of his face even as his mouth moved closer to her neck; she just bent it, allowing him easier access as she looked to the side, helping him by avoiding his eye.

"I cannot bite you" he whispered before turning away from her, the red tinge in his eyes changing from a tinge to a full colour.

"Yes you can, my love. You can feed from me, I never minded before" she whispered.

"What if I turn you, my love?" he asked as he stroked her cheek.

"You did not before, did you? What has changed?" she whispered in response as she held his hand.

"What if I take too much?" he questioned as he bit his lip.

"I trust you" she promised as she moved her long red hair from her neck.

He stroked her neck, his hunger already pulling him. He kissed it gently before piercing it. She gasped once, her ivory neck pierced, blood running down it as he drank slowly, carefully listening to her heart beating. He kept drinking as she ran her fingers through his hair, slowly her heart slowed, forcing him to stop out of fear. He looked up at her, wiping his mouth as he kissed her.

"Thank you" he whispered as he kissed her.

"I love you, if this is the price then so it shall be" she promised as she cuddled him. He held her as her blood ran through his veins, unable to stop it, help it. He wanted to drain her blood, kill her like he did everyone but love stopped him, caged his needs. "I know it is not easy, living off so little when you are used to drinking so much but I hope you are ok"

"I am thank you. It is just... guilt" he admitted.

"Guilty about what, since I offered my blood to you, freely and without fear or judgment"

"I do not love you for the blood, I love you for you" he whispered gently in her ear.

"I know" she replied, her eyes shutting from tiredness as she snuggled up to him, sleeping by his side as he slept. It had been so long since he had slept near a living person, heard a beating heart that longed for love, love he hoped he could give. Although she kept him sated, kept his bloodlust from killing him, he could not help but feel worried, panicked. His hunger was killing him, sick blood was nothing compared to hers but there it was... there was the fear of killing her... of letting her slip away slowly.

"I cannot do that again" he whispered sleepily.

"Do what, drink my blood you mean?" she questioned as she sat up slowly. "I offered it to you because I wanted to, because I love you"

"Then do me one thing, one favour, I beg of you" he whispered as she lay next to him.

"What is it?" she asked as she stroked his chest gently.

"Be my wife" he whispered as he stroked her cheek, ran his fingers through her red hair.

"Is that you asking or ordering?" she joked, smiling brightly. "Of course I will, I will do anything you ask, my love. You have my heart, now and always but you do realise we will have to be married again and again and again? When this body ages too much, I will be forced to change"

"You could be an old crone and yet I would still love you, still see you as a wife, as my loving wife" he whispered as she rested in his arms. "Soon I will have to work, what will you then do, my love?"

"I do not know, I will perhaps... go and pick out a wedding dress, have one made, custom made"

"Whatever you desire, it shall be yours" Valenus promised as he held her in his arms. The warmth of her body only made him feel... alive. In his arms he felt alive, he felt loved and alive. He kissed her softly before she slept. He got up slowly, not wishing to disturb her as he got up and dressed, looking over his shoulder at her with love in his eyes. 

He walked to work, hurrying as he watched people, their reactions to him. His soft black hair hung in curls as he watched his patients, some of them sick, some of them extremely ill. It was his job to help them or to nurse them as they died. Sometimes putting them out their misery was nicer, kinder than he could be. He loved his job; it made him feel human like she did, like Nith did. Nith was the light in his life, the sunlight he had been denied for many years.

A few patients however came in with some strange wounds, bloody wounds he recognised... vampire bites, meals for the very same. They had come back from their tombs, probably feasted and hopefully left. He did not want to have to deal with them, not while Nith could be in danger, weakened by his bloodlust. He loved her, wanted her blood but wanted her too, not just what she offered, the blood she offered him. He promised to protect her and would once they were married; promise to protect her from harm even though he could not from death. He cared for her, the woman who owned his cold heart. He was a mere stranger in the town, a little town with a foul sickness and a vampire with a foul hunger for human blood.

He hoped it would have ended by now but it seemed that was unrealistic, that was pure madness to hope for and expect. He wanted blood still, needed it so much it twisted him inside, internally. He loved the taste of blood; the sick blood was something he was used to, something he had gotten used to. He nursed a young man, a man who was probably once a fit man but had since looked ill, sickly. There was no chance, he had no chance. Valenus made sure he was alone before plunging his fangs into his neck, feeding from him slowly, drinking his blood until his veins were dry and the man was no longer in pain, no longer suffering. His death was quick, painless considering how painful it could have been.

"I am sorry" he whispered as he cleaned him up and closed his eyes. He covered the man with a sheet before he called it in, told a load of lies. He had no choice, he had to feed, to feast off the sick to keep himself going, to stop himself from dying, his thirst wanted to kill him, butcher him. He fed off the dying because they were dying anyway and it was the only way he could feed. He loved his fiancée, Nith, adored her but was scared for her, scared of killing her. He was a monster with the need to be a monster. His life did not make sense but it did not matter, he just needed blood but it did not matter where he got it. 

Did he sympathise even with the dead? Yes because they were the dead. Some of them, his latest list of victims were all dying of illness before he took them but the ones before... he did not have that reason, that excuse. He was bitterly cold towards them, his face the last thing they saw... those eyes, those monstrous, hungry eyes... the last thing some of them saw before they died. Poor things, how could they not be tormented even in death, having come face to face with those cold, unfeeling eyes of death and gloom?

The cursed cup, the damned thing he drank from, that was the problem. He did not understand what he was getting himself into and before he knew it, was in too deep and could not break free. Like chains, that cup bound him, forced him to do its bidding. The influence from that thing, the need for blood that came from that thing... that was what started it all, the monstrous hatred like a spiral leading only one way, not a good way. Immortality, vanity it was all ridiculous with its own absurdly high price to pay. Immortality on the surface looks fantastic until you realise just what it means, what gets left behind on the journey that can never be picked up again. 

He did everything he could for his latest victim, explained what he apparently died from to his family, illness that could easily spread if they did not allow the body to burn, allow the body to be burnt, funeral style. The likelihood of the man turning was less than zero but with no body, there was no chance of him returning and no chance of him becoming another Avana, another monster with an alternative view of the world and its people. Avana saw herself as a god, as if her 'gift' was godly and therefore her status was the same, divine, godly. There was the fear, the hatred... the painful reminder of what had happened, what he had done. No more creations, not unless he had to, felt he had to... no turning accidentally or out of guilt... no guilt pulling at his heartstrings, killing him internally and externally, ripping into him like teeth do a neck.

"Thank you" the victim's mother whispered, clutching onto her rosary. Valenus tried to keep his eyes up but the rosary burnt his eyes slowly with every glance at it. "I know you would have done anything to make his last moments... comfortable"

"He did not suffer, Madam" Valenus promised before he turned around, walking away slowly. He could not help himself, his fear... the fear in his heart, black and cold. He could feel human for a little while, even forget what he was, for a time but in the end... it always comes back to haunt him, in the end, the pain strikes him like knives to his stomach when he sees families, large or small, mourning their losses.

How could he not feel the pain of guilt, of hate and deceit? He had drank deeply, ended the life of the sick. Yes he had put him out of his misery but still the pain of killing someone was not something so easily forgotten. Every death whether merciful or not, weighed heavily on his conscience. He had no soul because that was the price he paid, drinking from the cup forfeit his very soul. Anyone who said it was a fair trade, his soul for immortality, could not have been more wrong. Although they did not speak of it, he knew... he knew what switching bodies so often was doing to her, weakening her with every new body, every new spell and every new face so she could be with him rather than him letting her go. 

He left for his home, cuddling up to Nith as he ran his fingers through her hair. "I love you" he whispered softly, out of guilt.

"Stop it, Valenus, there is no need to feel such guilt" she whispered sternly as she glared, staring into his eyes.

"I always have felt guilt, it is what makes me human" he confessed.

"Not when it eats you up inside, it does not, it then slowly devours you. You are not your brothers, you are who you are, not your brothers but yourself and a good man with a good, gentle heart and a great mind that is at peace sometimes" she replied as she took his hand softly.

"One day I shall release myself from this, until then... I do not know what I shall do; perhaps I shall live the lives I feel I must live"

"Maybe help others of your kind? The way your brothers act, the way your creation is... others are bound to turn into the same as you, where will they go? They may not understand themselves or that they have a choice? Imagine their fear; you have faced it yourself with no one to guide you down the rocky path you were placed on" 

"I can barely show the restraint I need to show, how can I teach others to if I cannot?" he asked, arguing against it.

"Because you and I know what you can do and where you can go. I know you, I know you had a bad start but surely you can turn that around, become a good man... you can teach others to feed as you do, on the sick, the dying and in turn, you might feel better about yourself and your own humanity. Perhaps you will change too and the weight of guilt will be lifted"

"Maybe you are right. I have to keep an eye on my brothers, on my creation. I failed her and that was my own fault but where I failed her, perhaps I can succeed elsewhere"